Parents are increasingly saying their child is ‘dysregulated’. What does that actually mean?
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Welcome aboard the roller coaster of parenthood, where emotions run wild, tantrums reign supreme and love flows deep.
As children reach toddlerhood and beyond, parents adapt to manage their child’s big emotions and meltdowns. Parenting terminology has adapted too, with more parents describing their child as “dysregulated”.
But what does this actually mean?
More than an emotion
Emotional dysregulation refers to challenges a child faces in recognising and expressing emotions, and managing emotional reactions in social settings.
This may involve either suppressing emotions or displaying exaggerated and intense emotional responses that get in the way of the child doing what they want or need to do.
“Dysregulation” is more than just feeling an emotion. An emotion is a signal, or cue, that can give us important insights to ourselves and our preferences, desires and goals.
An emotionally dysregulated brain is overwhelmed and overloaded (often, with distressing emotions like frustration, disappointment and fear) and is ready to fight, flight or freeze.
Developing emotional regulation
Emotion regulation is a skill that develops across childhood and is influenced by factors such as the child’s temperament and the emotional environment in which they are raised.
In the stage of emotional development where emotion regulation is a primary goal (around 3–5 years old), children begin exploring their surroundings and asserting their desires more actively.
It’s typical for them to experience emotional dysregulation when their initiatives are thwarted or criticised, leading to occasional tantrums or outbursts.
A typically developing child will see these types of outbursts reduce as their cognitive abilities become more sophisticated, usually around the age they start school.
Express, don’t suppress
Expressing emotions in childhood is crucial for social and emotional development. It involves the ability to convey feelings verbally and through facial expressions and body language.
When children struggle with emotional expression, it can manifest in various ways, such as difficulty in being understood, flat facial expressions even in emotionally charged situations, challenges in forming close relationships, and indecisiveness.
Several factors, including anxiety, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, giftedness, rigidity and both mild and significant trauma experiences, can contribute to these issues.
Common mistakes parents can make is dismissing emotions, or distracting children away from how they feel.
These strategies don’t work and increase feelings of overwhelm. In the long term, they fail to equip children with the skills to identify, express and communicate their emotions, making them vulnerable to future emotional difficulties.
We need to help children move compassionately towards their difficulties, rather than away from them. Parents need to do this for themselves too.
Caregiving and skill modelling
Parents are responsible for creating an emotional climate that facilitates the development of emotion regulation skills.
Parents’ own modelling of emotion regulation when they feel distressed. The way they respond to the expression of emotions in their children, contributes to how children understand and regulate their own emotions.
Children are hardwired to be attuned to their caregivers’ emotions, moods, and coping as this is integral to their survival. In fact, their biggest threat to a child is their caregiver not being OK.
Unsafe, unpredictable, or chaotic home environments rarely give children exposure to healthy emotion expression and regulation. Children who go through maltreatment have a harder time controlling their emotions, needing more brainpower for tasks that involve managing feelings. This struggle could lead to more problems with emotions later on, like feeling anxious and hypervigilant to potential threats.
Recognising and addressing these challenges early on is essential for supporting children’s emotional wellbeing and development.
A dysregulated brain and body
When kids enter “fight or flight” mode, they often struggle to cope or listen to reason. When children experience acute stress, they may respond instinctively without pausing to consider strategies or logic.
If your child is in fight mode, you might observe behaviours such as crying , clenching fists or jaw, kicking, punching, biting, swearing, spitting or screaming.
In flight mode, they may appear restless, have darting eyes, exhibit excessive fidgeting, breathe rapidly, or try to run away.
A shut-down response may look like fainting or a panic attack.
When a child feels threatened, their brain’s frontal lobe, responsible for rational thinking and problem-solving, essentially goes offline.
This happens when the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, sends out a false alarm, triggering the survival instinct.
In this state, a child may not be able to access higher functions like reasoning or decision-making.
While our instinct might be to immediately fix the problem, staying present with our child during these moments is more effective. It’s about providing support and understanding until they feel safe enough to engage their higher brain functions again.
Reframe your thinking so you see your child as having a problem – not being the problem.
Tips for parents
Take turns discussing the highs and lows of the day at meal times. This is a chance for you to be curious, acknowledge and label feelings, and model that you, too, experience a range of emotions that require you to put into practice skills to cope and has shown evidence in numerous physical, social-emotional, academic and behavioural benefits.
Spending even small amounts (five minutes a day!) of quality one-on-one time with your child is an investment in your child’s emotional wellbeing. Let them pick the activity, do your best to follow their lead, and try to notice and comment on the things they do well, like creative ideas, persevering when things are difficult, and being gentle or kind.
Take a tip from parents of children with neurodiversity: learn about your unique child. Approaching your child’s emotions, temperament, and behaviours with curiosity can help you to help them develop emotion regulation skills.
When to get help
If emotion dysregulation is a persistent issue that is getting in the way of your child feeling happy, calm, or confident – or interfering with learning or important relationships with family members or peers – talk to their GP about engaging with a mental health professional.
Many families have found parenting programs helpful in creating a climate where emotions can be safely expressed and shared.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Parenting requires you to be your best self and tend to your needs first to see your child flourish.
Cher McGillivray, Assistant Professor Psychology Department, Bond University and Shawna Mastro Campbell, Assistant Professor Psychology, Bond University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Recommended
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
Little Treatments, Big Effects – by Dr. Jessica Schleider
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
The author, a clinical psychologist, discusses how mental healthcare has come a very long way, yet still has a long way to go. While advocating for top-down reforms, she does have a stopgap solution:
Find ways to significantly improve people’s mental health in a single-session intervention.
This seems like a tall order, but her method is based on good science, and also, most people will agree from experience that big changes can happen to someone in the space of moments, at pivotal turning points in life—they just have to be the right moments.
Dr. Schleider recommends that therapists train in (and then offer) this method, but she does also give comprehensive advice for self-therapy of this kind too.
These self-therapy directions, ways to induce those life-pivoting moments for the better, are perhaps the greatest value that the book gives us.
Bottom line: if you’d like a lot of the benefits of therapy without getting therapy, this book can definitely point you in the right direction, in a manner that won’t be a drain on your time or your wallet.
Share This Post
-
What are plyometric exercises? How all that hopping and jumping builds strength, speed and power
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
If you’ve ever seen people at the gym or the park jumping, hopping or hurling weighted balls to the ground, chances are they were doing plyometric exercises.
Examples include:
- box jumps, where you repeatedly leap quickly on and off a box
- lateral skater hops, where you bound from side to side like a speeding ice skater
- rapidly throwing a heavy medicine ball against a wall, or to the ground
- single leg hops, which may involve hopping on the spot or through an obstacle course
- squat jumps, where you repeatedly squat and then launch yourself into the air.
Photo by cottonbro studio/Pexels There are many more examples of plyometric exercises.
What ties all these moves together is that they use what’s known as the “stretch shortening cycle”. This is where your muscles rapidly stretch and then contract.
Runners routinely practise plyometric exercises to improve explosive leg strength. WoodysPhotos/Shutterstock Potential benefits
Research shows incorporating plyometric exercise into your routine can help you:
- jump higher
- sprint faster
- reduce the chances of getting a serious sporting injuries such as anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) tears
- build muscle strength
- improve bone mineral density (especially when combined with resistance training such as weight lifting), which is particularly important for women and older people at risk of falls.
Studies have found plyometric exercises can help:
- older people who want to retain and build muscle strength, boost bone health, improve posture and reduce the risk of falls
- adolescent athletes who want to build the explosive strength needed to excel in sports such as athletics, tennis, soccer, basketball and football
- female athletes who want to jump higher or change direction quickly (a useful skill in many sports)
- endurance runners who want to boost physical fitness, run time and athletic performance.
And when it comes to plyometric exercises, you get out what you put in.
Research has found the benefits of plyometrics are significantly greater when every jump was performed with maximum effort.
Jumping can help boost bone strength. WoodysPhotos/Shutterstock Potential risks
All exercise comes with risk (as does not doing enough exercise!)
Plyometrics are high-intensity activities that require the body to absorb a lot of impact when landing on the ground or catching medicine balls.
That means there is some risk of musculoskeletal injury, particularly if the combination of intensity, frequency and volume is too high.
You might miss a landing and fall, land in a weird way and crunch your ankle, or get a muscle tear if you’re overdoing it.
The National Strength and Conditioning Association, a US educational nonprofit that uses research to support coaches and athletes, recommends:
- a maximum of one to three plyometric sessions per week
- five to ten repetitions per set and
- rest periods of one to three minutes between sets to ensure complete muscle recovery.
With the right guidance, jumps can be safe for older people and may help reduce the risk of falls as you age. Realstock/Shutterstock One meta-analysis, where researchers looked at many studies, found plyometric training was feasible and safe, and could improve older people’s performance, function and health.
Overall, with appropriate programming and supervision, plyometric exercise can be a safe and effective way to boost your health and athletic performance.
Justin Keogh, Associate Dean of Research, Faculty of Health Sciences and Medicine, Bond University and Mandy Hagstrom, Senior Lecturer, Exercise Physiology. School of Health Sciences, UNSW Sydney
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Share This Post
-
Shredded Wheat vs Organic Crunch – Which is Healthier?
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Our Verdict
When comparing Shredded Wheat to Organic Crunch, we picked the Shredded Wheat.
Why?
In this battle of the cereals, it comes down to the ingredients:
- The Shredded Wheat cereal has two ingredients: wheat (shredded), and BHT. The latter is a phenolic compound and antioxidant.
- The Organic Crunch cereal has lots of ingredients, of which the first two are wheat flour, and sugar.
This means that, per serving…
- The Shredded Wheat cereal has 7g fiber and 0g sugar
- The Organic Crunch cereal has 3g fiber and 12g sugar
Quite a difference! Sometimes, the “Organic Crunch” of a product comes from crunchy sugar.
You can check them out side-by-side here:
Shredded Wheat | Organic Crunch
Want to know more?
There’s a popular view that the only way to get fiber is to eat things that look (and potentially taste) like cardboard. Not so! There are delicious options:
Level-Up Your Fiber Intake! (Without Difficulty Or Discomfort)
Enjoy!
Share This Post
Related Posts
-
Anchovies vs Sardines – Which is Healthier?
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Our Verdict
When comparing anchovies to sardines, we picked the sardines.
Why?
In terms of macros, sardines have slightly more protein and more than 2x the fat, but the fat profile is healthier than that of anchovies, meaning that the amount of saturated fat is the same, and sardines have more poly- and monounsaturated fats. Breaking it down further, sardines also have more omega-3. Unless you are for whatever reason especially keen to keep your total fat* intake down, sardines win here.
*or calories, which in this case come almost entirely from the fat, and sardines are consequently nearly 2x higher in calories.
When it comes to vitamins, sardines further distinguish themselves; anchovies have more of vitamins B2 and B3, while sardines have more of vitamins A, B1, B6, B12, B9, E, and K—in some cases, by quite large margins (especially the B12 and K, being 14x more and 26x more, respectively). A clear win for sardines.
Minerals are closer to even; anchovies have more copper, iron, and zinc, while sardines have more calcium, manganese, phosphorus, and selenium. That’s already a slight win for sardines, before we take into account that sardines’ margins of difference are also much greater than anchovies’.
In short, enjoy either in moderation if you are so inclined, but sardines win on overall nutritional density.
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
Farmed Fish vs Wild Caught: More Important Than You Might Think
Take care!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating – by Allen Carr
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
We’ve reviewed books before on quitting drinking; is this book about emotional eating so different?
There are overlaps, but important points of contrast, too. After all, alcohol and junk food are both often unhealthy coping mechanisms for other things, though:
- Alcohol has in principle the stronger grip (making it harder to give up)
- Junk food is so much easier to justify (making it harder to give up)
Author Allen Carr is of course most well-known for his debut book about quitting smoking, and he brings a lot of that expertise to bear on the slightly different beast that is emotional eating.
Focused on reframing quitting as being less about self-denial and more about self-liberation, he helps readers to understand that giving up a substance (in this case, junk food) does not mean giving up happiness—rather, it means finding happiness beyond it.
If this book has a downside, it’s that some parts can be a little repetitive, and it can sometimes seem like one of those “this book could have been an article” situations.
On the other hand, many people benefit from repeated messages to truly inculcate an idea, so this could be a positive for a lot of readers.
Bottom line: if you’ve tried to eat more healthily but find that you keep reaching for an unhealthy comfort food, then this book may make a difference that other methods didn’t.
Click here to check out The Easy Way To Quit Emotional Eating, and find your own freedom!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum’s Heart Book – by Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
The book is divided into three parts:
- What you should know
- What you should do
- All about you
This is a very useful format, since it lays out all the foundational knowledge, before offering practical advice and “how to” explanations, before finally wrapping up with personalizing things.
The latter is important, because while our basic risk factors can be assembled in a few lines of data (age, sex, race, genes, diet, exercise habits, etc) there’s a lot more to us than that, and oftentimes the data that doesn’t make the cut, makes the difference. Hormones on high on this list; we can say that a person is a 65-year-old woman and make a guess, but that’s all it is: a guess. Very few of us are the “average person” that statistical models represent accurately. And nor are social and psychological factors irrelevant; in fact often they are deciding factors!
So, it’s important to be able to look at ourselves as the whole persons we are, or else we’ll get a heart-healthy protocol that works on paper but actually falls flat in application, because the mathematical model didn’t take into account that lately we have been very stressed about such-and-such a thing, and deeply anxious about so-and-so, and a hopefully short-term respiratory infection has reduced blood oxygen levels, and all these kinds of things need to be taken into account too, for an overall plan to work.
The greatest strength of this book is that it attends to that.
The style of the book is a little like a long sales pitch (when all that’s being sold, by the way, is the ideas the book is offering; she wants you to take her advice with enthusiasm), but there’s plenty of very good information all the way through, making it quite worth the read.
Bottom line: if you’re a woman and/or love at least one woman, then you can benefit from this important book for understanding heart health that’s not the default.
Click here to check out Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum’s Heart Book, and enjoy a heart-healthy life!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: