How to Find Happiness In Yourself – by Michelle Mann

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A lot of books about happiness tell you what to pursue, generally. What things to focus on, and that’s good, but incomplete. This book does cover those things too (complete with academic sources to back up what really works), but also goes further:

Michelle Mann gives 25 key habits that will cumulatively build happiness, which is what it’s really about. After all:

  • If you watch your favourite movie, you’ll be happy for 90 minutes (or 9 hours if it’s The Lord of the Rings).
  • If you build daily habits that add happiness to you, your surroundings, and those around you, you’ll be happy for life.

They do also cover happiness while going through difficult times, such as divorce, job loss, illness, or bereavement.

Sometimes, knowing what we “should” do in theory is the easy part. Where Mann excels here is in providing explanations of each habit. This means that rather than it being some platitude, the principles underlying it are truly understood… and thus motivate us to actually apply the advice and build the habits into our life.

While the explanations are therefore the greatest value of the book, we do recommend copying out the 25 habits (which are effectively subchapter headings) and putting them somewhere to read often.

Bottom line: we recommend getting yourself (and/or your loved ones!) a copy of this book. You (and/or they) will be happy you did!

Order “How to Find Happiness In Yourself: 25 Habits Guaranteed to Help You Live a Happier Life” on Amazon today!

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  • These Top Few Things Make The Biggest Difference To Health

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    The Best Few Interventions For The Best Health

    Writer’s note: I was going to do something completely different for today (so that can go out another week now), but when reflecting on my own “what should I focus on in the new year?” (in terms of my own personal health goals and such) it occured to me that I should look back on the year’s articles, to take our own advice myself, and see what most important things I should make sure to focus on.

    In so doing for myself, it occured to me that you, our subscribers who like condensed information and simple interventions for big positive effects, might also find value in a similar once-over. And so, today’s main feature was born!

    Sometimes at 10almonds we talk about “those five things that affect everything”. They are:

    1. Good diet
    2. Good exercise
    3. Good sleep
    4. Not drinking
    5. Not smoking

    If we were to add a sixth in terms of things that make a huge difference, it would be “manage stress effectively” and a seventh, beyond the scope of our newsletter, would be “don’t be socioeconomically disadvantaged” (e.g. poor, and/or part of some disprivileged minority group).

    But as for those five we listed, it still leaves the question: what are the few most effective things we can do to improve them? Where can we invest our time/energy/effort for greatest effect?

    Good diet

    Best current science consistently recommends the Mediterranean Diet:

    The Mediterranean Diet: What Is It Good For?

    But it can be tweaked for specific desired health considerations:

    Four Ways To Upgrade The Mediterranean Diet

    Other most-effective dietary tweaks that impact a lot of other areas of health include looking after your gut health and looking after your blood sugars:

    Making Friends With Your Gut (You Can Thank Us Later)

    and

    “Let Them Eat Cake”, She Said (10 Ways To Balance Blood Sugars)

    Good exercise

    Most exercise is good, but two of the most beneficial things that are (for most people) easy to implement are walking, and High-Intensity Interval Training:

    How To Do HIIT (Without Wrecking Your Body)

    Good sleep

    This means quality and quantity! We cannot skimp on either and expect good health:

    Why You Probably Need More Sleep

    and as for quality,

    The Head-To-Head Of Google and Apple’s Top Apps For Getting Your Head Down

    Not drinking

    According to the World Health Organization, the only safe amount of alcohol is zero.

    See also:

    Can We Drink To Good Health? (e.g. Red Wine & Heart Health)

    and

    How To Reduce Or Quit Alcohol

    Not smoking

    We haven’t done a main feature on this! It’s probably not really necessary, as it’s not very contentious to say “smoking is bad for everything”.

    WHO | Tobacco kills up to half its users who don’t quit

    However, as a side-note, while cannabis is generally recognised as not as harmful as tobacco-based products, it has some fairly major drawbacks too. For some people, the benefits (e.g. pain relief) may outweigh the risks, though:

    Cannabis Myths vs Reality

    Final thoughts

    Not sure where to start? We suggest this order of priorities, unless you have a major health condition that makes something else a higher priority:

    1. If you smoke, stop
    2. If you drink, reduce, or ideally stop
    3. Improve your diet

    About that diet…

    When it comes to exercise, get your 10,000 daily steps in (actually, science says 8,000 steps is fine), and consider adding HIIT per our above article, when you feel like adding that in. As for that about the steps:

    Meta-analysis of 15 studies reports new findings on how many daily walking steps needed for longevity benefit

    When it comes to sleep, if you’re taking care of the above things, and set a regular early wake-up time that you do not deviate from, then this will probably take care of itself, if you don’t have a sleep-inconvenient lifestyle (e.g. shift work, just had a baby, etc) or a sleep disorder.

    For further pointers, see: 10 Tips for Better Sleep: Starting In The Morning

    Take care!

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  • The Sun Exposure Dilemma

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    The Sun Exposure Dilemma

    Yesterday, we asked you about your policy on sun exposure, and got the above-pictured, below-described, set of answers:

    • A little over a third of respondents chose “I recognize the risks, but I think the benefits outweigh them”
    • A quarter of respondents chose “I am a creature of the shadows and I avoid the sun at all costs‍”
    • A little over a fifth of respondents chose “I recognize the benefits, but I think the risks outweigh them”
    • A little under a fifth of respondents chose “I’m a sun-lover! Give me that vitamin D and other benefits!”

    All in all, this is perhaps the most even spread of answers we’ve had for Friday mythbuster polls—though the sample size was smaller than it often is.

    Of those who added comments, common themes were to mention your local climate, and the importance of sunscreen and/or taking vitamin D supplements.

    One subscriber mentioned having lupus and living in Florida, which is a particularly unfortunate combination:

    Lupus Foundation | Lupus & UV exposure: What you need to know

    Another subscriber wrote:

    ❝Use a very good sunscreen with a high SPF all the time. Reapply after swimming or as needed! I also wear polarized sunglasses anytime I’m outside.❞

    …which are important things to note too, and a lot of people forget!

    See also: Who Screens The Sunscreens? (on fearing chemical dangers, vs the protection given)

    But, onto today’s science for the topic at hand…

    We need to get plenty of sun to get plenty of vitamin D: True or False?

    True or False, depending on so many factors—to the point that many people get it wildly wrong in either direction.

    Whether we are getting enough vitamin D depends on many circumstances, including:

    • The climate (and depending on latitude, time of year) where we live
    • Our genes, and especially (but not only) our skintone
    • The clothes we wear (or don’t)
    • Our diet (and not just “how much vitamin D do we consume”)
    • Chronic diseases that affect vitamin D metabolism and/or requirements and/or sensitivity to the sun

    For a rundown on these factors and more, check out:

    Should I be getting my vitamin D levels checked?

    Notably, on the topic of whether you should stay in the sun for longer to get more vitamin D…

    ❝The body can only produce a certain amount of vitamin D at the time, so staying in the sun any longer than needed (which could be just a few minutes, in a sunny climate) is not going to help increase your vitamin D levels, while it will increase your risk of skin cancer.❞

    Source: Dr. Elina Hypponen, professor of Nutritional Epidemiology, and director of the Australian Centre for Precision Health at the University of South Australia Cancer Research Institute.

    In contrast, she does also note:

    ❝During winter, catching enough sun can be difficult, especially if you spend your days confined indoors. Typically, the required exposure increases to two to three hours per week in winter. This is because sunlight exposure can only help produce vitamin D if the UVB rays reach us at the correct angle. So in winter we should regularly spend time outside in the middle of the day to get our dose of vitamin D.❞

    See also: Vitamin D & Calcium: Too Much Of A Good Thing?

    We can skip the sun and get our vitamin D from diet/supplements: True or False?

    True! However, vitamin D is not the only health benefit of sun exposure.

    Not only is sunlight-induced serotonin production important for many things ranging from mood to circadian rhythm (which in turn affects many other aspects of health), but also…

    While too much sun can cause skin cancer, too little sun could cause other kinds of cancer:

    Benefits of Sunlight: A Bright Spot for Human Health

    Additionally, according to new research, the circadian rhythm benefits we mentioned above may also have an impact on type 2 diabetes:

    Can catching some rays help you fight off type 2 diabetes?

    Which way to jump?

    A lot of it depends on who you are, ranging from the factors we mentioned earlier, to even such things as “having many moles” or “having blonde hair”.

    This latter item, blonde hair, is a dual thing: it’s a matter of genetic factors that align with being prone to being more sensitive to the sun, as well as being a lesser physical barrier to the sun’s rays than dark hair (that can block some UV rays).

    So for example, if two people have comparably gray hair now, but one of them used to have dark hair and the other blonde, there will still be a difference in how they suffer damage, or don’t—and yes, even if their skin is visually of the same approximate skintone.

    You probably already know for yourself whether you are more likely to burn or tan in the sun, and the former group are less resistant to the sun’s damage… But the latter group are more likely to spend longer in the sun, and accumulate more damage that way.

    If you’d like a very comprehensive downloadable, here are the guidelines issued by the UK’s National Institute for Health and Care Excellence:

    NICE Guidelines | Sunlight exposure: risks and benefits

    …and skip to “At risk groups”, if you don’t want to read the whole thing; “Skin type” is also an important subsection, which also uses your hair and eye color as indicators.

    Writer’s note: genetics are complicated and not everyone will fall neatly into categories, which is why it’s important to know the individual factors.

    For example, I am quite light-skinned with slightly graying dark hair and gray-blue eyes, and/but also have an obscure Sámi gene that means my skin makes vitamin D easily, while simultaneously being unusually resistant to burning (I just tan). Basically: built for the midnight sun of the Arctic circle.

    And yet! My hobbies include not getting skin cancer, so I tend to still be quite mindful of UV levels in different weathers and times of day, and make choices (schedule, clothing, sunscreen or not) accordingly.

    Bottom line:

    That big self-perpetuating nuclear explosion in the sky is responsible for many things, good and bad for our health, so be aware of your own risk factors, especially for vitamin D deficiency, and skin cancer.

    • If you have a predisposition to both, that’s unfortunate, but diet and supplementation at least can help with the vitamin D while getting modest amounts of sun at most.
    • Remember that you can only make so much vitamin D at once, so sunbathing for health benefits need only take a few minutes
    • Remember that sunlight is important for our circadian rhythm, which is important for many things.
    • That’s governed by specific photoreceptor cells, though, so we don’t need our skin to be exposed for that; we just need to be able to see sunlight.
    • If you’re going to be out in the sun, and not covered up, sunscreen is your friend, and yes, that goes for clear cold days under the winter sun too.
    • Most phone weather apps these days have a UV index score as part of the data they give. Get used to checking it as often as you’d check for rain.

    Stay safe, both ways around!

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  • Peas vs Broad Beans – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing peas to broad beans, we picked the peas.

    Why?

    Both are great of course, but…

    Looking at the macros to start with, peas have more protein and more fiber. The differences aren’t huge, but they are clear.

    In terms of vitamins, peas have more of vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B9, E, K, and choline (some with very large margins, some with small), while broad beans contain a little more vitamin C (the margin is quite narrow though).

    When it comes to minerals, peas have more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while broad beans have more sodium. So this category wasn’t close.

    Adding up the win from each of the categories makes for a clear triple-win for peas.

    Easy-peasy!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Dr. Greger’s Daily Dozen

    Take care!

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Related Posts

  • The Telomere Effect – by Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn and Dr. Elissa Epel
  • Chia Seeds vs Flax Seeds – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing chia to flax, we picked the chia.

    Why?

    Both are great! And it’s certainly close. Both are good sources of protein, fiber, and healthy fats.

    Flax seeds contain a little more fat (but it is healthy fat), while chia seeds contain a little more fiber.

    They’re both good sources of vitamins and minerals, but chia seeds contain more. In particular, chia seeds have about twice as much calcium and selenium, and notably more iron and phosphorous—though flax seeds do have more potassium.

    Of course the perfect solution is to enjoy both, but since for the purpose of this exercise we have to pick one, we’d say chia comes out on top—even if flax is not far behind.

    Enjoy!

    Learn more

    For more on these, check out:

    Take care!

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  • The Squat Bible – by Dr. Aaron Horschig

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    You probably know the following three things about squats:

    1. Squatting is great for the health in many ways
    2. There are many different ways to squat
    3. Not all of them are correct, and some may even do harm

    Dr. Aaron Horschig makes the case for squats being a movement first, and an exercise second. To this end, he takes us on a joint-by-joint tour of the anatomy of squatting, so that we get it right from top to toe.

    Or rather: from toe to top, since he starts with the best foundation.

    What this means is that if you’ve struggled to squat because you find some discomfort in your ankles, or a weakness in the knees, or you can’t get your back quite right, Dr. Horschig will have a fix for you. He also takes a realistic look about how people’s anatomy varies from person to person, and what differences this makes to how we each should best squat.

    The explanations are clear and so are the pictures—we recommend getting the color print edition (linked), as the image quality is better than the black and white and/or Kindle edition.

    Bottom-line: squats are one of the single best exercises we can do for our health—but we can miss out on benefits (or even do ourselves harm) if we don’t do them well. This book is a comprehensive reference resource for making sure we get the most out of our squatting ability.

    Click here to check out The Squat Bible, and master this all-important movement!

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  • Seriously Useful Communication Skills!

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    What Are Communication Skills, Really?

    Superficially, communication is “conveying an idea to someone else”. But then again…

    Superficially, painting is “covering some kind of surface in paint”, and yet, for some reason, the ceiling you painted at home is not regarded as equally “good painting skills” as Michaelangelo’s, with regard to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

    All kinds of “Dark Psychology” enthusiasts on YouTube, authors of “Office Machiavelli” handbooks, etc, tell us that good communication skills are really a matter of persuasive speaking (or writing). And let’s not even get started on “pick-up artist” guides. Bleugh.

    Not to get too philosophical, but here at 10almonds, we think that having good communication skills means being able to communicate ideas simply and clearly, and in a way that will benefit as many people as possible.

    The implications of this for education are obvious, but what of other situations?

    Conflict Resolution

    Whether at work or at home or amongst friends or out in public, conflict will happen at some point. Even the most well-intentioned and conscientious partners, family, friends, colleagues, will eventually tread on our toes—or we, on theirs. Often because of misunderstandings, so much precious time will be lost needlessly. It’s good for neither schedule nor soul.

    So, how to fix those situations?

    I’m OK; You’re OK

    In the category of “bestselling books that should have been an article at most”, a top-tier candidate is Thomas Harris’s “I’m OK; You’re OK”.

    The (very good) premise of this (rather padded) book is that when seeking to resolve a conflict or potential conflict, we should look for a win-win:

    • I’m not OK; you’re not OK ❌
      • For example: “Yes, I screwed up and did this bad thing, but you too do bad things all the time”
    • I’m OK; you’re not OK ❌
      • For example: “It is not I who screwed up; this is actually all your fault”
    • I’m not OK; you’re OK ❌
      • For example: “I screwed up and am utterly beyond redemption; you should immediately divorce/disown/dismiss/defenestrate me”
    • I’m OK; you’re OK ✅
      • For example: “I did do this thing which turned out to be incorrect; in my defence it was because you said xyz, but I can understand why you said that, because…” and generally finding a win-win outcome.

    So far, so simple.

    “I”-Messages

    In a conflict, it’s easy to get caught up in “you did this, you did that”, often rushing to assumptions about intent or meaning. And, the closer we are to the person in question, the more emotionally charged, and the more likely we are to do this as a knee-jerk response.

    “How could you treat me this way?!” if we are talking to our spouse in a heated moment, perhaps, or “How can you treat a customer this way?!” if it’s a worker at Home Depot.

    But the reality is that almost certainly neither our spouse nor the worker wanted to upset us.

    Going on the attack will merely put them on the defensive, and they may even launch their own counterattack. It’s not good for anyone.

    Instead, what really happened? Express it starting with the word “I”, rather than immediately putting it on the other person. Often our emotions require a little interrogation before they’ll tell us the truth, but it may be something like:

    “I expected x, so when you did/said y instead, I was confused and hurt/frustrated/angry/etc”

    Bonus: if your partner also understands this kind of communication situation, so much the better! Dark psychology be damned, everything is best when everyone knows the playbook and everyone is seeking the best outcome for all sides.

    The Most Powerful “I”-Message Of All

    Statements that start with “I” will, unless you are rules-lawyering in bad faith, tend to be less aggressive and thus prompt less defensiveness. An important tool for the toolbox, is:

    “I need…”

    Softly spoken, firmly if necessary, but gentle. If you do not express your needs, how can you expect anyone to fulfil them? Be that person a partner or a retail worker or anyone else. Probably they want to end the conflict too, so throw them a life-ring and they will (if they can, and are at least halfway sensible) grab it.

    • “I need an apology”
    • “I need a moment to cool down”
    • “I need a refund”
    • “I need some reassurance about…” (and detail)

    Help the other person to help you!

    Everything’s best when it’s you (plural) vs the problem, rather than you (plural) vs each other.

    Apology Checklist

    Does anyone else remember being forced to write an insincere letter of apology as a child, and the literary disaster that probably followed? As adults, we (hopefully) apologize when and if we mean it, and we want our apology to convey that.

    What follows will seem very formal, but honestly, we recommend it in personal life as much as professional. It’s a ten-step apology, and you will forget these steps, so we recommend to copy and paste them into a Notes app or something, because this is of immeasurable value.

    It’s good not just for when you want to apologize, but also, for when it’s you who needs an apology and needs to feel it’s sincere. Give your partner (if applicable) a copy of the checklist too!

    1. Statement of apology—say “I’m sorry”
    2. Name the offense—say what you did wrong
    3. Take responsibility for the offense—understand your part in the problem
    4. Attempt to explain the offense (not to excuse it)—how did it happen and why
    5. Convey emotions; show remorse
    6. Address the emotions/damage to the other person—show that you understand or even ask them how it affected them
    7. Admit fault—understand that you got it wrong and like other human beings you make mistakes
    8. Promise to be better—let them realize you’re trying to change
    9. Tell them how you will try to do it different next time and finally
    10. Request acceptance of the apology

    Note: just because you request acceptance of the apology doesn’t mean they must give it. Maybe they won’t, or maybe they need time first. If they’re playing from this same playbook, they might say “I need some time to process this first” or such.

    Want to really superpower your relationship? Read this together with your partner:

    Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, and, as a bonus:

    The Hold Me Tight Workbook: A Couple’s Guide for a Lifetime of Love

    Don’t Forget…

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