DBT Made Simple – by Sheri van Dijk

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This book offers very clear explanations of DBT. In fact, a more fitting title might have been “DBT made clear”, because it does it without oversimplification.

This is a way in which van Dijk’s work stands out from that of many writers on the subject! Many authors oversimplify, to the point that a reader may wonder “is that all it is?” when, in reality, there’s rather more to it.

This work is, therefore, refreshingly comprehensive, without sacrificing clarity.

Van Dijk also takes us through the four pillars of DBT:

  1. Mindfulness
  2. Distress tolerance
  3. Emotional regulation
  4. Interpersonal effectiveness

Each of these can help an individual alone; together, they produce a composite effect with a synergy that makes each more effective. Hence, pillars.

On the topic of “an individual”, you may be wondering “is this book for therapists or the general public?” and the answer is yes, yes it is.

That is to say: it’s written with the assumption that the reader wants to learn DBT in order to practice it as a therapist… and/but is written in such a fashion that it’s very easy to apply the skills to oneself, too. As it’s an introductory guide—a comprehensive one, but without assuming prior knowledge—it’s a perfect resource for anyone to get a good grounding in the subject.

Bottom line: if you’ve been hearing about DBT (possibly from us!) and wondering where you might start, this book is an excellent place to begin.

Click here to check out DBT Made Simple, and start making many parts of life easier!

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  • Paulina Porizkova (Former Supermodel) Talks Menopause, Aging, & Appearances

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Are supermodels destined to all eventually become “Grizabella the Glamor Cat”, a washed-up shell of their former glory? Is it true that “men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all lose our charms in the end”? And what—if anything—can we do about it?

    Insights from a retired professional

    Paulina Porizkova is 56, and she looks like she’s… 56, maybe? Perhaps a little younger or a bit older depending on the camera and lighting and such.

    It’s usually the case, on glossy magazine covers and YouTube thumbnails, that there’s a 20-year difference between appearance and reality, but not here. Why’s that?

    Porizkova noted that many celebrities of a similar age look younger, and felt bad. But then she noted that they’d all had various cosmetic work done, and looked for images of “real” women in their mid-50s, and didn’t find them.

    Note: we at 10almonds do disagree with one thing here: we say that someone who has had cosmetic work done is no less real for it; it’s a simple matter of personal choice and bodily autonomy. She is, in our opinion, making the same mistake as people make when they say such things as “real people, rather than models”, as though models are not also real people.

    Porizkova found modelling highly lucrative but dehumanizing, and did not enjoy the objectification involved—and she enjoyed even less, when she reached a certain age, negative comments about aging, and people being visibly wrong-footed when meeting her, as they had misconceptions based on past images.

    As a child and younger adult through her modelling career, she felt very much “seen and not heard”, and these days, she realizes she’s more interesting now but feels less seen. Menopause coincided with her marriage ending, and she felt unattractive and ignored by her husband; she questioned her self-worth, and felt very bad about it. Then her husband (they had separated, but had not divorced) died, and she felt even more isolated—but it heightened her sensitivity to life.

    In her pain and longing for recognition, she reached out through her Instagram, crying, and received positive feedback—but still she struggles with expressing needs and feeling worthy.

    And yet, when it comes to looks, she embraces her wrinkles as a form of expression, and values her natural appearance over cosmetic alterations.

    She describes herself as a work in progress—still broken, still needing cleansing and healing, but proud of how far she’s come so far, and optimistic with regard to the future.

    For all this and more in her own words, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    The Many Faces Of Cosmetic Surgery

    Take care!

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  • Chair Stretch Workout Guide

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝The 3 most important exercises don’t work if you can’t get on the floor. I’m 78, and have knee replacements. What about 3 best chair yoga stretches? Love your articles!❞

    Here are six!

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  • Your Brain On (And Off) Estrogen

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    This is Dr. Lisa Mosconi. She’s a professor of Neuroscience in Neurology and Radiology, and is one of the 1% most influential scientists of the 21st century. That’s not a random number or an exaggeration; it has to do with citation metrics collated over 20 years:

    A standardized citation metrics author database annotated for scientific field

    What does she want us to know?

    Women’s brains age differently from men’s

    This is largely, of course, due to menopause, and as such is a generalization, but it’s a statistically safe generalization, because:

    • Most women go through menopause—and most women who don’t, avoid it by dying pre-menopause, so the aging also does not occur in those cases
    • Menopause is very rarely treated immediately—not least of all because menopause is diagnosed officially when it has been one year since one’s last period, so there’s almost always a year of “probably” first, and often numerous years, in the case of periods slowing down before stopping
    • Menopausal HRT is great, but doesn’t completely negate that menopause occurred—because of the delay in starting HRT, some damage can be done already and can take years to reverse.

    Medicated and unmedicated menopause proceed very differently from each other, and this fact has historically caused obfuscation of a lot of research into age-related neurodegeneration.

    For example, it is well-established that women get Alzheimer’s at nearly twice the rate than men do, and deteriorate more rapidly after onset, too.

    Superficially, one might conclude “estrogen is to blame” or maybe “the xx-chromosomal karyotype is to blame”.

    The opposite, however, is true with regard to estrogen—estrogen appears to be a protective factor in women’s neurological health, which is why increased neurodegeneration occurs when estrogen levels decline (for example, in menopause).

    For a full rundown on this, see:

    Alzheimer’s Sex Differences May Not Be What They Appear

    It’s not about the extra X

    Dr. Mosconi examines this in detail in her book “The XX Brain”. To summarize and oversimplify a little: the XX karyotype by itself makes no difference, or more accurately, the XY karyotype by itself makes no difference (because biologically speaking, female physiological attributes are more “default” than male ones; it is only 12,000ish* years of culture that has flipped the social script on this).

    *Why 12,000ish years? It’s because patriarchalism largely began with settled agriculture, for reasons that are fascinating but beyond the scope of this article, which is about health science, not archeology.

    The topic of “which is biologically default” is relevant, because the XY karyotype (usually) informs the body “ignore previous instructions about ovaries, and adjust slightly to make them into testes instead”, which in turn (usually) results in a testosterone-driven system instead of an estrogen-driven system. And that is what makes the difference to the brain.

    One way we can see that it’s about the hormones not the chromosomes, is in cases of androgen insensitivity syndrome, in which the natal “congratulations, it’s a girl” pronouncement may later be in conflict with the fact it turns out she had XY chromosomes all along, but the androgenic instructions never got delivered successfully, so she popped out with fairly typical female organs. And, relevantly for Dr. Mosconi, a typically female brain that will age in a typically female fashion, because it’s driven by estrogen, regardless of the Y-chromosome.

    The good news

    The good news from all of this is that while we can’t (with current science, anyway) do much about our chromosomes, we can do plenty about our hormones, and also, the results of changes in same.

    Remember, Dr. Mosconi is not an endocrinologist, nor a gynecologist, but a neurologist. As such, she makes the case for how a true interdisciplinary team for treating menopause should not confined to the narrow fields usually associated with “bikini medicine”, but should take into account that a lot of menopause-related changes are neurological in nature.

    We recently reviewed another book by Dr. Mosconi:

    The Menopause Brain – by Dr. Lisa Mosconi

    …and as we noted there, many sources will mention “brain fog” as a symptom of menopause, Dr. Mosconi can (and will) point to a shadowy patch on a brain scan and say “that’s the brain fog, there”.

    And so on, for other symptoms that are often dismissed as “all in your head”, as though that’s a perfectly acceptable place for problems to be.

    This is critical, because it’s treating real neurological things as the real things they are.

    Dr. Mosconi’s advice, beyond HRT

    Dr. Mosconi notes that brain health tends to dip during perimenopause but often recovers, showing the brain’s resilience to hormonal shifts. As such, all is not lost if for whatever reason, hormone replacement therapy isn’t a viable option for you.

    Estrogen plays a crucial role in brain energy, and women’s declining estrogen levels during menopause increase the need for antioxidants to protect brain health—something not often talked about.

    Specifically, Dr. Mosconi tells us, women need more antioxidants and have different metabolic responses to diets compared to men.*

    *Yes, even though men usually have negligible estrogen, because their body (and thus brain, being also part of their body) is running on testosterone instead, which is something that will only happen if either you are producing normal male amounts of testosterone (requires normal male testes) or you are taking normal male amounts of testosterone (requires big bottles of testosterone; this isn’t the kind of thing you can get from a low dose of testogel as sometimes prescribed as part of menopausal HRT to perk your metabolism up).

    Note: despite women being a slight majority on Earth, and despite an aging population in wealthy nations, meaning “a perimenopausal woman” is thus the statistically average person in, for example, the US, and despite the biological primacy of femaleness… Medicine still mostly looks to men as the “default person”, which in this case can result in seriously low-balled estimates of what antioxidants are needed.

    In terms of supplements, therefore, she recommends:

    • Antioxidants: key for brain health, especially in women. Rich sources include fruits (especially berries) and vegetables. Then there’s the world’s most-consumed antioxidant, which is…
    • Coffee: Italian-style espresso has the highest antioxidant power. Adding a bit of fat (e.g. oat milk) helps release caffeine more slowly, reducing jitters. Taking it alongside l-theanine also “flattens the curve” and thus improves its overall benefits.
    • Flavonoids: important for both men and women but particularly essential for women. Found in many fruits and vegetables.
    • Chocolate: dark chocolate is an excellent source of antioxidants and flavonoids!
    • Turmeric: a natural neuroprotectant with anti-inflammatory properties, best boosted by taking with black pepper, which improves absorption as well as having many great qualities of its own.
    • B Vitamins: B6, B9, and B12 are essential for anti-aging and brain health; deficiency in B6 is rare, while deficiency in B9 (folate) and especially B12 is very common later in life.
    • Vitamins C & E: important antioxidants, but caution is needed with fat-soluble vitamins to avoid toxicity.
    • Omega-3s: important for brain health; can be consumed in the diet, but supplements may be necessary.
    • Caution with zinc: zinc can support immunity and endocrine health (and thus, indirectly, brain health) but may be harmful in excess, particularly for brain health.
    • Probiotics & Prebiotics: beneficial for gut health, and in Dr. Mosconi’s opinion, hard to get sufficient amounts from diet alone.

    For more pointers, you might want to check out the MIND diet, that is to say, the “Mediterranean-DASH Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay” upgrade to make the Mediterranean diet even brain-healthier than it is by default:

    Four Ways To Upgrade The Mediterranean Diet

    Want to know more from Dr. Mosconi?

    Here’s her TED talk:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Enjoy!

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  • Strength training has a range of benefits for women. Here are 4 ways to get into weights

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Picture a gym ten years ago: the weights room was largely a male-dominated space, with women mostly doing cardio exercise. Fast-forward to today and you’re likely to see women of all ages and backgrounds confidently navigating weights equipment.

    This is more than just anecdotal. According to data from the Australian Sports Commission, the number of women participating in weightlifting (either competitively or not) grew nearly five-fold between 2016 and 2022.

    Women are discovering what research has long shown: strength training offers benefits beyond sculpted muscles.

    John Arano/Unsplash

    Health benefits

    Osteoporosis, a disease in which the bones become weak and brittle, affects more women than men. Strength training increases bone density, a crucial factor for preventing osteoporosis, especially for women negotiating menopause.

    Strength training also improves insulin sensitivity, which means your body gets better at using insulin to manage blood sugar levels, reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes. Regular strength training contributes to better heart health too.

    There’s a mental health boost as well. Strength training has been linked to reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.

    A woman lifting a weight in a gym.
    Strength training can have a variety of health benefits. Ground Picture/Shutterstock

    Improved confidence and body image

    Unlike some forms of exercise where progress can feel elusive, strength training offers clear and tangible measures of success. Each time you add more weight to a bar, you are reminded of your ability to meet your goals and conquer challenges.

    This sense of achievement doesn’t just stay in the gym – it can change how women see themselves. A recent study found women who regularly lift weights often feel more empowered to make positive changes in their lives and feel ready to face life’s challenges outside the gym.

    Strength training also has the potential to positively impact body image. In a world where women are often judged on appearance, lifting weights can shift the focus to function.

    Instead of worrying about the number on the scale or fitting into a certain dress size, women often come to appreciate their bodies for what they can do. “Am I lifting more than I could last month?” and “can I carry all my groceries in a single trip?” may become new measures of physical success.

    A young woman smiling in a gym change room.
    Strength training can have positive effects on women’s body image. Drazen Zigic/Shutterstock

    Lifting weights can also be about challenging outdated ideas of how women “should” be. Qualitative research I conducted with colleagues found that, for many women, strength training becomes a powerful form of rebellion against unrealistic beauty standards. As one participant told us:

    I wanted something that would allow me to train that just didn’t have anything to do with how I looked.

    Society has long told women to be small, quiet and not take up space. But when a woman steps up to a barbell, she’s pushing back against these outdated rules. One woman in our study said:

    We don’t have to […] look a certain way, or […] be scared that we can lift heavier weights than some men. Why should we?

    This shift in mindset helps women see themselves differently. Instead of worrying about being objects for others to look at, they begin to see their bodies as capable and strong. Another participant explained:

    Powerlifting changed my life. It made me see myself, or my body. My body wasn’t my value, it was the vehicle that I was in to execute whatever it was that I was executing in life.

    This newfound confidence often spills over into other areas of life. As one woman said:

    I love being a strong woman. It’s like going against the grain, and it empowers me. When I’m physically strong, everything in the world seems lighter.

    Feeling inspired? Here’s how to get started

    1. Take things slow

    Begin with bodyweight exercises like squats, lunges and push-ups to build a foundation of strength. Once you’re comfortable, add external weights, but keep them light at first. Focus on mastering compound movements, such as deadlifts, squats and overhead presses. These exercises engage multiple joints and muscle groups simultaneously, making your workouts more efficient.

    2. Prioritise proper form

    Always prioritise proper form over lifting heavier weights. Poor technique can lead to injuries, so learning the correct way to perform each exercise is crucial. To help with this, consider working with an exercise professional who can provide personalised guidance and ensure you’re performing exercises correctly, at least initially.

    A woman doing a lunge outdoors.
    Bodyweight exercises, such as lunges, are a good way to get started before lifting weights. antoniodiaz/Shutterstock

    3. Consistency is key

    Like any fitness regimen, consistency is key. Two to three sessions a week are plenty for most women to see benefits. And don’t be afraid to occupy space in the weights room – remember you belong there just as much as anyone else.

    4. Find a community

    Finally, join a community. There’s nothing like being surrounded by a group of strong women to inspire and motivate you. Engaging with a supportive community can make your strength-training journey more enjoyable and rewarding, whether it’s an in-person class or an online forum.

    Are there any downsides?

    Gym memberships can be expensive, especially for specialist weightlifting gyms. Home equipment is an option, but quality barbells and weightlifting equipment can come with a hefty price tag.

    Also, for women juggling work and family responsibilities, finding time to get to the gym two to three times per week can be challenging.

    If you’re concerned about getting too “bulky”, it’s very difficult for women to bulk up like male bodybuilders without pharmaceutical assistance.

    The main risks come from poor technique or trying to lift too much too soon – issues that can be easily avoided with some guidance.

    Erin Kelly, Lecturer and PhD Candidate, Discipline of Sport and Exercise Science, University of Canberra

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Coenzyme Q10 From Foods & Supplements

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Coenzyme Q10 and the difference it makes

    Coenzyme Q10, often abbreviated to CoQ10, is a popular supplement, and is often one of the more expensive supplements that’s commonly found on supermarket shelves as opposed to having to go to more specialist stores or looking online.

    What is it?

    It’s a compound naturally made in the human body and stored in mitochondria. Now, everyone remembers the main job of mitochondria (producing energy), but they also protect cells from oxidative stress, among other things. In other words, aging.

    Like many things, CoQ10 production slows as we age. So after a certain age, often around 45 but lifestyle factors can push it either way, it can start to make sense to supplement.

    Does it work?

    The short answer is “yes”, though we’ll do a quick breakdown of some main benefits, and studies for such, before moving on.

    First, do bear in mind that CoQ10 comes in two main forms, ubiquinol and ubiquinone.

    Ubiquinol is much more easily-used by the body, so that’s the one you want. Here be science:

    Comparison study of plasma coenzyme Q10 levels in healthy subjects supplemented with ubiquinol versus ubiquinone

    What is it good for?

    Benefits include:

    Can we get it from foods?

    Yes, and it’s equally well-absorbed through foods or supplementation, so feel free to go with whichever is more convenient for you.

    Read: Intestinal absorption of coenzyme Q10 administered in a meal or as capsules to healthy subjects

    If you do want to get it from food, you can get it from many places:

    • Organ meats: the top source, though many don’t want to eat them, either because they don’t like them or some of us just don’t eat meat. If you do, though, top choices include the heart, liver, and kidneys.
    • Fatty fish: sardines are up top, along with mackerel, herring, and trout
    • Vegetables: leafy greens, and cruciferous vegetables e.g. cauliflower, broccoli, sprouts
    • Legumes: for example soy, lentils, peanuts
    • Nuts and seeds: pistachios come up top; sesame seeds are great too
    • Fruit: strawberries come up top; oranges are great too

    If supplementing, how much is good?

    Most studies have used doses in the 100mg–200mg (per day) range.

    However, it’s also been found to be safe at 1200mg (per day), for example in this high-quality study that found that higher doses resulted in greater benefit, in patients with early Parkinson’s Disease:

    Effects of coenzyme Q10 in early Parkinson disease: evidence of slowing of the functional decline

    Wondering where you can get it?

    We don’t sell it (or anything else for that matter), and you can probably find it in your local supermarket or health food store. However, if you’d like to buy it online, here’s an example product on Amazon

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  • 5 Things You Can Change About Your Personality (But: Should You?)

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    There are many personality-typing systems that, with varying degrees of validity*, aim to describe a person’s personality.

    *and often pseudoscience:

    • sometimes obviously so like astrology
    • sometimes dressed up in clinical words like the Meyers-Briggs
    • sometimes openly, per “this is not science but you may find it useful to frame things this way”, like the Enneagram

    There is currently one kind of personality-typing system (with some minor variations) that is used in the actual field of clinical psychology, specifically under the umbrella of “trait theory”, and that is…

    The “Big Five” personality traits

    Also called the OCEAN or CANOE model, based on its 5 components:

    • openness to experience: inventive/curious rather than consistent/cautious
    • conscientiousness: efficient/organized rather than extravagant/careless
    • extroversion: outgoing/energetic rather than solitary/reserved
    • agreeableness: friendly/compassionate rather than critical/judgmental
    • neuroticism: sensitive/nervous rather than resilient/confident

    The latter (neuroticism) is not to be confused with neurosis, which is very different and beyond the scope of today’s article.

    Note that some of these seem more positive/negative than others at a glance, but really, any of these could be a virtue or a vice depending on specifics or extremity.

    For scientific reference, here’s an example paper:

    The Big Five Personality Factors and Personal Values

    Quick self-assessment

    There are of course many lengthy questionnaires for this, but in the interests of expediency:

    Take a moment to rate yourself as honestly as you can, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

    For example, this writer gives herself: O7, C6, E3, A8, N2 (in other words I’d say I’m fairly open, moderately conscientious, on the reserved side, quite agreeable, and quite resilient)

    Now, put your rating aside (in your phone’s notes app is fine, if you hadn’t written it down already) and forget about it for the moment, because we want you to do the next exercise from scratch.

    Who would you be, at your best?

    Now imagine your perfect idealized self, the best you could ever be, with no constraints.

    Take a moment to rate your idealized self’s personality, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

    For example, this writer picks: O9, C10, E5, A8, N1.

    Maybe this, or maybe your own idealized self’s personality, will surprise you. That some traits might already be perfect for you already; others might just be nudged a little here or there; maybe there’s some big change you’d like. Chances are you didn’t go for a string of 10s or 1s (though if you did, you do you; there are no wrong answers here as this one is about your preferences).

    We become who we practice being

    There are some aspects of personality that can naturally change with age. For example:

    • confidence/resilience will usually gradually increase with age due to life experience (politely overlook teenagers’ bravado; they are usually a bundle of nerves inside, resulting in the overcompensatory displays of confidence)
    • openness to experience may decrease with age, as we can get into a rut of thinking/acting a certain way, and/or simply consciously decide that our position on something is already complete and does not need revision.

    But, we can decide for ourselves how to nudge our “Big Five” traits, for example:

    1. We can make a point of seeking out new experiences, and considering new ideas, or develop strategies for reining ourselves in
    2. We can use systems to improve our organization, or go out of our way to introduce a little well-placed chaos
    3. We can “put ourselves out there” socially, or make the decision to decline more social invitations because we simply don’t want to
    4. We can make a habit of thinking kindly of others and ourselves, or we can consciously detach ourselves and look on the cynical side more
    5. We can build on our strengths and eliminate our weaknesses, or lean into uncomfortable emotions

    Some of those may provoke a “why would anyone want to…?” response, but the truth is we are all different. An artist and a police officer may have very different goals for who they want to be as a person, for example.

    Interventions to change personality can and do work:

    A systematic review of personality trait change through intervention

    There are many ways to go about “being the change we want to see” in ourselves, and yes there can be a degree of “fake it until you make it” if that works for you, but it doesn’t have to be so. It can also simply be a matter of setting yourself reminders about the things that are most important to you.

    Writer’s example: pinned above my digital workspace I have a note from my late beloved, written just under a week before death. The final line reads, “keep being the good person that you are” (on a human level, the whole note is uplifting and soothing to me and makes me smile and remember the love we shared; or to put it in clinical terms, it promotes high agreeableness, low neuroticism).

    Other examples could be a daily practice of gratitude (promotes lower neuroticism), or going out of your way to speak to your neighbors (promotes higher extraversion), signing up for a new educational course (promotes higher openness) or downloading a budgeting app (promotes higher conscientiousness).

    In short: be the person you want to be, and be that person deliberately, because you can.

    Some resources that may help for each of the 5 traits:

    1. Curiosity Kills The Neurodegeneration
    2. How (And Why) To Train Your Pre-Frontal Cortex
    3. How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation
    4. Optimism Seriously Increases Longevity!
    5. Building Psychological Resilience (Without Undue Hardship)

    Take care!

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