5 Things You Can Change About Your Personality (But: Should You?)

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There are many personality-typing systems that, with varying degrees of validity*, aim to describe a person’s personality.

*and often pseudoscience:

  • sometimes obviously so like astrology
  • sometimes dressed up in clinical words like the Meyers-Briggs
  • sometimes openly, per “this is not science but you may find it useful to frame things this way”, like the Enneagram

There is currently one kind of personality-typing system (with some minor variations) that is used in the actual field of clinical psychology, specifically under the umbrella of “trait theory”, and that is…

The “Big Five” personality traits

Also called the OCEAN or CANOE model, based on its 5 components:

  • openness to experience: inventive/curious rather than consistent/cautious
  • conscientiousness: efficient/organized rather than extravagant/careless
  • extraversion: outgoing/energetic rather than solitary/reserved
  • agreeableness: friendly/compassionate rather than critical/judgmental
  • neuroticism: sensitive/nervous rather than resilient/confident

The latter (neuroticism) is not to be confused with neurosis, which is very different and beyond the scope of today’s article.

Note that some of these seem more positive/negative than others at a glance, but really, any of these could be a virtue or a vice depending on specifics or extremity.

For scientific reference, here’s an example paper:

The Big Five Personality Factors and Personal Values

Quick self-assessment

There are of course many lengthy questionnaires for this, but in the interests of expediency:

Take a moment to rate yourself as honestly as you can, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

For example, this writer gives herself: O7, C6, E3, A8, N2 (in other words I’d say I’m fairly open, moderately conscientious, on the reserved side, quite agreeable, and quite resilient)

Now, put your rating aside (in your phone’s notes app is fine, if you hadn’t written it down already) and forget about it for the moment, because we want you to do the next exercise from scratch.

Who would you be, at your best?

Now imagine your perfect idealized self, the best you could ever be, with no constraints.

Take a moment to rate your idealized self’s personality, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

For example, this writer picks: O9, C10, E5, A8, N1.

Maybe this, or maybe your own idealized self’s personality, will surprise you. That some traits might already be perfect for you already; others might just be nudged a little here or there; maybe there’s some big change you’d like. Chances are you didn’t go for a string of 10s or 1s (though if you did, you do you; there are no wrong answers here as this one is about your preferences).

We become who we practice being

There are some aspects of personality that can naturally change with age. For example:

  • confidence/resilience will usually gradually increase with age due to life experience (politely overlook teenagers’ bravado; they are usually a bundle of nerves inside, resulting in the overcompensatory displays of confidence)
  • openness to experience may decrease with age, as we can get into a rut of thinking/acting a certain way, and/or simply consciously decide that our position on something is already complete and does not need revision.

But, we can decide for ourselves how to nudge our “Big Five” traits, for example:

  1. We can make a point of seeking out new experiences, and considering new ideas, or develop strategies for reining ourselves in
  2. We can use systems to improve our organization, or go out of our way to introduce a little well-placed chaos
  3. We can “put ourselves out there” socially, or make the decision to decline more social invitations because we simply don’t want to
  4. We can make a habit of thinking kindly of others and ourselves, or we can consciously detach ourselves and look on the cynical side more
  5. We can build on our strengths and eliminate our weaknesses, or lean into uncomfortable emotions

Some of those may provoke a “why would anyone want to…?” response, but the truth is we are all different. An artist and a police officer may have very different goals for who they want to be as a person, for example.

Interventions to change personality can and do work:

A systematic review of personality trait change through intervention

There are many ways to go about “being the change we want to see” in ourselves, and yes there can be a degree of “fake it until you make it” if that works for you, but it doesn’t have to be so. It can also simply be a matter of setting yourself reminders about the things that are most important to you.

Writer’s example: pinned above my digital workspace I have a note from my late beloved, written just under a week before death. The final line reads, “keep being the good person that you are” (on a human level, the whole note is uplifting and soothing to me and makes me smile and remember the love we shared; or to put it in clinical terms, it promotes high agreeableness, low neuroticism).

Other examples could be a daily practice of gratitude (promotes lower neuroticism), or going out of your way to speak to your neighbors (promotes higher extraversion), signing up for a new educational course (promotes higher openness) or downloading a budgeting app (promotes higher conscientiousness).

In short: be the person you want to be, and be that person deliberately, because you can.

Some resources that may help for each of the 5 traits:

  1. Curiosity Kills The Neurodegeneration
  2. How (And Why) To Train Your Pre-Frontal Cortex
  3. How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation
  4. Optimism Seriously Increases Longevity!
  5. Building Psychological Resilience (Without Undue Hardship)

Take care!

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  • What’s Your Personal Life Expectancy?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Tick Tock… Goes the Death Clock?

    This fun little test will ask a few questions about you and your lifestyle, and then make a prediction of your personal life expectancy, based on global statistics from the World Health Organisation.

    And then the countdown starts… Literally, it generates a clock for you to see your life-seconds ticking away—this may or may not delight you, but it sure is a curiosity.

    Their “Letters” page has a lot of reactions from people who just got their results (spoiler: people’s perspectives on life vary a lot)

    Who mostly uses this service? According to their stats page, it’s mostly curious under-45s, with gradually less interest in knowing about it from 45 onwards… until the age of 70, when suddenly everyone wants to know about it again!

    So Is It Possible To Pause The Clock On Aging? – Q&A Spotlight Interview

    Life extension is sometimes viewed as the domain of the super-rich, and with less than half of Millennials (and almost none of Gen-Z) having retirement plans, often those of us who aren’t super-rich have more mundane (and immediate!) goals than living to 120.

    And yet…

    Middle class and working class life-extensionists do exist, even if not garnering the same media attention. We think that’s strange—after all, while the whimsies of the super-rich may be entertaining to read about, it’s not nearly as applicable to most people as more relatable stories:

    • The twenty-something who gives up smoking and adds (healthier!) years to their life
    • The thirty-something who adopts a plant-based diet and is less likely to die of heart disease
    • The forty-something who stops drinking, and avoids health conditions and mishaps alike
    • The fifty-something who reconsiders their health plan in light of their changing body
    • The sixty-something who takes up yoga, or chess, or salsa dancing
    • The seventy-something who gets asked what their secret is
    • …and so on

    But these are ideas, textbook examples. What if we make it more personal?

    We interviewed 10 Almonds subscriber and longevity enthusiast Anastasia S., and here’s what she had to say:

    Q: What does life extension mean to you, in your life?

    A: To me, the key is healthy life extension. People often joke “I don’t want to live longer; the last years are the worst!” but they’re missing the point that after a certain age, those difficulties are coming whether they come at 50 or 70 or 90. Personally, I’d rather keep them at bay if I can.

    Q: How do you do that?

    A: Firstly, which won’t be a shock: good diet and exercise. Those two things are possibly the biggest active influences on my longevity. I’m vegan, which I don’t think is outright necessary for good health but done right, it can certainly be good. In this house we eat a lot of whole grains, beans, lentils, vegetables in general, nuts too. As for exercise, I do 30–60 minutes of Pilates daily; it’s nothing fancy and it’s just me in my pajamas at home, but it keeps me strong and fit and supple. I also walk everywhere; I don’t even own a car. Beyond that… I don’t drink or smoke (probably the biggest passive influences on my longevity, i.e., things that aren’t there to make it shorter), and I try to take my sleep seriously, making sure to schedule enough time and prepare properly for it.

    Q: Take your sleep seriously? How so?

    A: Good “sleep hygiene” as some call it—I schedule a little wind-down time before sleep, with no glaring screens or main lights, making a space between my busy day and restful sleep, kicking anything requiring brainpower to the morning, and making a conscious choice not to think more about those things in the meantime. I take care to make my sleeping environment as conducive as possible to good sleep too; I have a good mattress and pillows, I make sure the temperature is cool but cosy. I have a pot of herbal tea on my bedside table—I hydrate a lot.

    Q: Do you take any supplements?

    A: I do! They’re mostly quite general though, just “covering my bases”, so to speak. I take a daily nootropic stack (a collection of supplements specifically for brain health), too. I buy them in bulk, so they don’t cost so much.

    Q: This seems quite a healthy lifestyle! Do you have any vices at all?

    A: I definitely drink more coffee than I probably should! But hey, nobody’s perfect. I do love coffee, though, and as vices go, it’s probably not too bad.

    Q: How’s it all working out for you? Do you feel younger?

    A: I’m 38 and sometimes I feel like a teenager; sometimes I feel like an old lady. But the latter is usually for social reasons, not health-related reasons. I do have streaks of gray in my hair though, and I love that! If people don’t notice my grays, then they often think I’m in my 20s, rather than pushing 40. A little while back, I was stopped in the street by someone wanting to sell me a change of household utilities provider, then she stopped herself mid-sentence and said “Oh but wait, you look a bit too young, never mind”. Most general metrics of health would put me in my 20s.

    Q: That’s interesting that you love your gray hairs, for someone who wants to stay young; is it an exception?

    A: It’s more that I want to minimize the problems that come with age, and not everything’s a problem. Gray hairs are cool; joint pain, not so much. A long life rich with experiences is cool; memory loss, not so much. So, I try to keep healthy, and wear my years as best I can.

    Q: Sounds good to us; good luck with it!

    A: Thank you; I do my best!

    Here at 10 Almonds, we love featuring what our readers are doing to improve their health; if you’re willing to be featured in our newsletter, let us know by replying to this email (where an actual human will read it, we promise!)

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  • Health Hacks from 20 Doctors

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    Doctor Mike’s Approach

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    Natural Lip Plumper

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    How was the video? If you’ve discovered any great videos yourself that you’d like to share with fellow 10almonds readers, then please do email them to us!

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  • Loving Life at 50+ – by Maria Sabando

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    What a pleasant mix of a book! Sabando writes about aging with a great blend of light-heartedness and seriousness, and gives extra attention to the important balancing act of:

    1. Indulging sufficiently to enjoy life
    2. Staying well enough to enjoy life

    …because one without the other will not generally result in an enjoyable life! An American proud of her Italian heritage, she blends (as many immigrant families do) cultures and perspectives, aiming where she can for “the best of both” in that regard, too.

    Nor is this just a philosophical book—there’s yoga to be learned here, chapter by chapter, and recipes peppered throughout. The recipes, by the way, are simple and… Honestly, not as healthy as the recipes we share here at 10almonds, but they are good and when it comes to those indulgences we mentioned, her philosophy is that strategic mindful indulgence keeps mindless binge-eating at bay. Which is generally speaking not a bad approach, and is one we’ve written about before as well.

    When it comes to health advice, the author is no doctor or scientist, but her husband (a doctor) had input throughout, keeping things on track and medically sound.

    The style is very casual, like talking to a friend, which makes for a very easy and enjoyable read. Absolutely a book that one could read casually in the garden, put down when interrupted, pick up again, and continue happily where one left off.

    Bottom line: whatever your age (no matter whether your 50th birthday is in your shrinkingly near future or your increasingly distant past), there’s wisdom to be gained here—it’s not a manual (unless you want to treat it as one), it’s more… Thought-provoking, from cover to cover. Highly recommendable.

    Click here to check out Loving Life at 50+, and love life at 50+!

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    This is a book review, not a book summary, but first let’s quickly cover a common misconception, because the word “codependent” gets misused a lot in popular parlance:

    • What codependence isn’t: “we depend on each other and must do everything together”
    • What codependence is:“person 1 has a dependency on a substance (or perhaps a behavior, such as gambling); person 2 is trying to look after person 1, and so has developed a secondary relationship with the substance/behavior. Person 2 is now said to be codependent, because it becomes all-consuming for them too, even if they’re not using the substance/behavior directly”

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    Because when we love someone, of course we want to fight their battles with them, if not for them. But if we want to be their rock of strength, we can’t get lost in it too, and of course that hurts.

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    • How to examine our own feelings even when it’s scary
    • How to practice self-love and regain self-worth, while still caring for them
    • How to stop being reactionary, step back, and act with purpose

    If the book has any weak point, it’s that it repeatedly recommends 12-step programs, when in reality that’s just one option. But for those who wish to take another approach, this book does not require involvement in a 12-step program, so it’s not a barrier to usefulness.

    Click here to check out Codependent No More and take care of yourself, too

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • Fruit & Veg In The Fridge: Pros & Cons

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝What effect does refrigeration have on the nutritional value of fruit and vegetables??❞

    It’s difficult to give a single definitive answer, because naturally there are a lot of different fruits and vegetables, and a lot of different climates. The answer may be different for tomatoes in Alaska vs bananas in Arizona!

    However, we can still generalize at least somewhat

    Refrigeration will generally slow down any degradation process, and in the case of fruit and vegetables, that can mean slowing down their “ripening” too, as applicable.

    However…

    Refrigeration will also impede helpful bioactivity too, and that includes quite a list of things.

    Here’s a good study that’s quite illustrative; we’d summarize the conclusions but the rather long title already does that nicely:

    Storage of Fruits and Vegetables in Refrigerator Increases their Phenolic Acids but Decreases the Total Phenolics, Anthocyanins and Vitamin C with Subsequent Loss of their Antioxidant Capacity

    So, this really is a case of “there are pros and cons, but probably more cons on balance”.

    In practical terms, a good take-away from this can be twofold:

    1. don’t keep fruit and veg in the fridge unless the ambient temperature really requires it
    2. if the ambient temperature does require it, it’s best to get the produce in fresh each day if that’s feasible, to minimize time spent in the fridge

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    See also: How Does the Nutritional Value of Fruits and Vegetables Change Over Time?

    Enjoy!

    Don’t Forget…

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  • Eyes for Alzheimer’s Diagnosis: New?

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    It’s Q&A Time!

    This is the bit whereby each week, we respond to subscriber questions/requests/etc

    Have something you’d like to ask us, or ask us to look into? Hit reply to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom, and a Real Human™ will be glad to read it!

    Q: As I am a retired nurse, I am always interested in new medical technology and new ways of diagnosing. I have recently heard of using the eyes to diagnose Alzheimer’s. When I did some research I didn’t find too much. I am thinking the information may be too new or I wasn’t on the right sites.

    (this is in response to last week’s piece on lutein, eyes, and brain health)

    We’d readily bet that the diagnostic criteria has to do with recording low levels of lutein in the eye (discernible by a visual examination of macular pigment optical density), and relying on the correlation between this and incidence of Alzheimer’s, but we’ve not seen it as a hard diagnostic tool as yet either—we’ll do some digging and let you know what we find! In the meantime, we note that the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease (which may be of interest to you, if you’re not already subscribed) is onto this:

    Read: Cognitive Function and Its Relationship with Macular Pigment Optical Density and Serum Concentrations of its Constituent Carotenoids

    See also:

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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