The Gym For Your Mental Health

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Getting The Most Out Of Therapy

If you’ve never had therapy, what image do you have of it? Perhaps you imagine a bearded and bespectacled man in a suit, impassively making notes on a clipboard. Perhaps you imagine an empathetic woman, with tissues and camomile tea on standby.

The reality is: the experience of therapy can vary, a lot.

In its results, too! Sometimes we may try therapy and think “well that was a waste of time and money”. Sometimes we may try therapy and it’ll change our life.

So… Is there any way to make it less of a lottery?

First: knowledge is power

And while the therapist-client relationship certainly shouldn’t be a power struggle, you do want to be empowered.

So, read about different styles of therapy, and also, read some how-to guides for self-therapy. We’ve recommended some before in previous editions of 10almonds; you can check those books out here:

This will serve two purposes:

  • You’ll know what to expect out of a therapist
  • You can more efficiently “get to work” in therapy

It also, of course, could help you already, without even going to therapy!

Second: begin with the end in mind

A person who does not know what they want to get out of therapy, will likely not get much out of therapy. Or rather, their first task will be to figure that out. So, figure it out in advance, if you can.

Maybe you have a problem that has a specific name, for example poor self-esteem, anxiety, stress, depression, trauma, neuroticism, phobia, etc.

This isn’t Alcoholics Anonymous, and in this case you don’t want a lifetime of “Hello, my name is ______ and I have ______”, if you can help it.

So, what do you want?

  • Maybe you want to be able to go to social events without feeling anxious
  • Maybe you want your relationship(s) to be more secure and fulfilling
  • Maybe you want to no longer have nightmares about that traumatic thing
  • Maybe you want to be able to greet each day’s tasks with confidence and without overwhelm

…etc.

A good therapist will help you to set such goals (if you haven’t already), and attain them.

If you’re going the self-therapy route, then this is your job now!

It will probably start with the question: imagine that everything currently troubling you is now healed.

What would that look like, to you?

Third: get a good match for you

Unless you are going entirely the self-therapy route (which can work for some), you will want a therapist who’s a good match for you.

It may take a degree of “suck it and see” trial runs before you find the right one, but that takes time and money, so you’ll want to streamline the process as much as you can. If you do this well, you may be able to find a good therapist for you first time.

For this, personal recommendations (such as from friends) may help more than exmaining academic and institutional affiliations.

Yes, you want a well-qualified therapist who is a member in good standing of a respectable regulated body… but whether your therapist is easy for you to “get on with” will matter at least as much as whether their approach is psychodynamic, or 4th wave CBT, or IFS, or whatever seems popular in your time and place.

Bear in mind:

  • Some therapists are specialized in helping with some kinds of things and not others. It will obviously help if the therapist you choose is specialized in the thing you are seeking help for.
  • Some therapists may be able to relate to you better (or not), based on simple factors of who they are. To this end, while your therapist certainly doesn’t have to be a mirror image of you, factors like age, gender, race, etc can be relevant and may be worth considering, depending on what you are seeking help with, and what factors impact that thing.

Prefer keeping things to yourself?

Therapy isn’t for everyone, but having a good relationship with oneself definitely is. You might want to invest in one of the books whose reviews we linked above, and you might also get value from previous Psychology Sunday articles, which you can find in our archive (every seventh edition here has a Psychology Sunday main feature):

Click Here To Check Out The 10almonds Archive

To borrow the catchphrase of Dr. Kirk Honda (a therapist and therapy educator with decades of experience):

❝Take care of yourself, because you deserve it; you really, really do.❞

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    Patient Navigator shares journey from patient to advocate, defines levels of patient engagement: involvement, advisory, partnership. Stay tuned for more insights.

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  • Alzheimer’s Causative Factors To Avoid

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    The Best Brains Bar Nun?

    This is Dr. David Snowdon. He’s an epidemiologist, and one of the world’s foremost experts on Alzheimer’s disease. He was also, most famously, the lead researcher of what has become known as “The Nun Study”.

    We recently reviewed his book about this study:

    Aging with Grace: What the Nun Study Teaches Us About Leading Longer, Healthier, and More Meaningful Lives – by Dr. David Snowdon

    …which we definitely encourage you to check out, but we’ll do our best to summarize its key points today!

    Reassurance up-front: no, you don’t have to become a nun

    The Nun Study

    In 1991, a large number (678) of nuns were recruited for what was to be (and until now, remains) the largest study of its kind into the impact of a wide variety of factors on aging, and in particular, Alzheimer’s disease.

    Why it was so important: because the nuns were all from the same Order, had the same occupation (it’s a teaching Order), with very similar lifestyles, schedules, socioeconomic status, general background, access to healthcare, similar diets, same relationship status (celibate), same sex (female), and many other factors also similar, this meant that most of the confounding variables that confound other studies were already controlled-for here.

    Enrollment in the study also required consenting to donating one’s brain for study post-mortem—and of those who have since died, indeed 98% of them have been donated (the other 2%, we presume, may have run into technical administrative issues with the donation process, due to the circumstances of death and/or delays in processing the donation).

    How the study was undertaken

    We don’t have enough space to describe the entire methodology here, but the gist of it is:

    • Genetic testing for relevant genetic factors
    • Data gathered about lives so far, including not just medical records but also autobiographies that the nuns wrote when they took their vows (at ages 19–21)
    • Extensive ongoing personal interviews about habits, life choices, and attitudes
    • Yearly evaluations including memory tests and physical function tests
    • Brain donation upon death

    What they found

    Technically, The Nun Study is still ongoing. Of the original 678 nuns (aged 75–106), three are still alive (based on the latest report, at least).

    However, lots of results have already been gained, including…

    Genes

    A year into the study, in 1992, the “apolipoprotein E” (APOE) gene was established as a likely causative factor in Alzheimer’s disease. This is probably not new to our readers in 2024, but there are interesting things being learned even now, for example:

    The Alzheimer’s Gene That Varies By Race & Sex

    …but watch out! Because also:

    Alzheimer’s Sex Differences May Not Be What They Appear

    Words

    Based on the autobiographies written by the nuns in their youth upon taking their vows, there were two factors that were later correlated with not getting dementia:

    • Longer sentences
    • Positive outlook
    • “Idea density”

    That latter item means the relative linguistic density of ideas and complexity thereof, and the fluency and vivacity with which they were expressed (this was not a wishy-washy assessment; there was a hard-science analysis to determine numbers).

    Want to spruce up yours? You might like to check out:

    Reading, Better: Reading As A Cognitive Exercise

    …for specific, evidence-based ways to tweak your reading to fight cognitive decline.

    Food

    While the dietary habits of the nuns were fairly homogenous, those who favored eating more and cooked greens, beans, and tomatoes, lived longer and with healthier brains.

    See also: Brain Food? The Eyes Have It!

    Other aspects of brain health & mental health

    The study also found that nuns who avoided stroke and depression, were also less likely to get dementia.

    For tending to these, check out:

    Community & Faith

    Obviously, in this matter the nuns were quite a homogenous group, scoring heavily in community and faith. What’s relevant here is the difference between the nuns, and other epidemiological studies in other groups (invariably not scoring so highly).

    Community & faith are considered, separately and together, to be protective factors against dementia.

    Faith may be something that “you have it or you don’t” (we’re a health science newsletter, not a theological publication, but for the interested, philosopher John Stuart Mill’s 1859 essay “On Liberty“ makes a good argument for it not being something one can choose, prompting him to argue for religious tolerance, on the grounds that religious coercion is a futile effort precisely because a person cannot choose to dis/believe something)

    …but community can definitely be chosen, nurtured, and grown. We’ve written about this a bit before:

    You might also like to check out this great book on the topic:

    Purpose: Design A Community And Change Your Life – by Gina Bianchini

    Want more?

    We gave a ground-up primer on avoiding Alzheimer’s and other dementias; check it out:

    How To Reduce Your Alzheimer’s Risk

    Take care!

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  • How to Permanently Loosen a Tight Psoas

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    What Is Your Psoas?

    Your psoas is a deep muscle in your lower back and hip area that connects your spine to your thigh bone. It helps you bend your hips and spine, making it a hip flexor.

    In today’s video, Your Wellness Nerd (the YouTube channel behind the video below) has revealed some great tips on loosening said tight hip flexors!

    How to loosen them

    First off, the big reveal…your tight psoas is likely stemming from an overlooked cause: your lower back! The video kicks off with a simple technique to loosen up that stiff area in your lower back. All you need is a foam roller.

    But, before diving into the exercises, it’s essential to gauge your current flexibility. A basic hip flexor stretch serves as a pre-test.

    Note: the goal here isn’t to stretch, but rather to feel how tight you are.

    After testing, it’s time to roll…literally. Working through the lower back, use your roller or tennis ball to any find stiff spots and loosen them out; those spots are likely increasing the tension on your psoas.

    After some rolling, retest with the hip flexor stretch. Chances are, you’ll feel more mobility and less tightness right away.

    Note: this video focuses on chronic psoas issues. If you have sore psoas from a muscular workout, you may want to read our piece on speeding up muscle recovery.

    Is That All?

    But wait, there’s more! The video also covers two more exercises specifically targeting the psoas. This one’s hard to describe, so we recommend watching the video. However, to provide an overview, you’re doing the “classic couch stretch”, but with a few alterations.

    Next, the tennis ball technique zeroes in on specific tight spots in the psoas. By lying on the ball and adjusting its position around the hip area, you can likely release some deeply held tension.

    Additionally, some of our readers advocate for acupuncture for psoas relief – we’ve done an acupuncture myth-busting article here for reference.

    Other Sources

    If you’re looking for some more in-depth guides on stretching your psoas, and your body in general, we’ve made a range of 1-minute summaries of books that specifically target stretching:

    The final takeaway? If you’re constantly battling tight psoas muscles despite trying different exercises and stretches, it might be time to look at your lower back and your daily habits. This video isn’t just a band-aid fix; it’s about addressing the root cause for long-term relief:

    How did you find that video? If you’ve discovered any great videos yourself that you’d like to share with fellow 10almonds readers, then please do email them to us!

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  • The Gut-Healthiest Yogurt

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    Not only is this yogurt, so it’s winning from the start with its probiotic goodness, but also it’s full of several kinds of fiber, and gut-healthy polyphenols too. Plus, it’s delicious. The perfect breakfast, but don’t let us stop you from enjoying it at any time of day!

    You will need

    • 1 cup yogurt with minimal additives. Live Greek yogurt is a top-tier choice, and plant-based varieties are fine too (just watch out, again, for needless additives)
    • 7 dried figs, roughly chopped
    • 6 fresh figs, thinly sliced
    • 5 oz chopped pitted dates
    • 4 tbsp mixed seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, and chia are a great combination)

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Soak the dried figs, the dates, and half the seeds in hot water for at least 5 minutes. Drain (be careful not to lose the chia seeds) and put in a blender with ¼ cup cold water.

    2) Blend the ingredients from the last step into a purée (you can add a little more cold water if it needs it).

    3) Mix this purée into the yogurt in a bowl, and add in the remaining seeds, mixing them in thoroughly.

    4) Top with the sliced figs, and serve (or refrigerate, up to a few days, until needed).

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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Related Posts

  • When Did You Last Have a Cognitive Health Check-Up?
  • What’s the difference between shyness and social anxiety?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    What’s the difference? is a new editorial product that explains the similarities and differences between commonly confused health and medical terms, and why they matter.

    The terms “shyness” and “social anxiety” are often used interchangeably because they both involve feeling uncomfortable in social situations.

    However, feeling shy, or having a shy personality, is not the same as experiencing social anxiety (short for “social anxiety disorder”).

    Here are some of the similarities and differences, and what the distinction means.

    pathdoc/Shutterstock

    How are they similar?

    It can be normal to feel nervous or even stressed in new social situations or when interacting with new people. And everyone differs in how comfortable they feel when interacting with others.

    For people who are shy or socially anxious, social situations can be very uncomfortable, stressful or even threatening. There can be a strong desire to avoid these situations.

    People who are shy or socially anxious may respond with “flight” (by withdrawing from the situation or avoiding it entirely), “freeze” (by detaching themselves or feeling disconnected from their body), or “fawn” (by trying to appease or placate others).

    A complex interaction of biological and environmental factors is also thought to influence the development of shyness and social anxiety.

    For example, both shy children and adults with social anxiety have neural circuits that respond strongly to stressful social situations, such as being excluded or left out.

    People who are shy or socially anxious commonly report physical symptoms of stress in certain situations, or even when anticipating them. These include sweating, blushing, trembling, an increased heart rate or hyperventilation.

    How are they different?

    Social anxiety is a diagnosable mental health condition and is an example of an anxiety disorder.

    For people who struggle with social anxiety, social situations – including social interactions, being observed and performing in front of others – trigger intense fear or anxiety about being judged, criticised or rejected.

    To be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, social anxiety needs to be persistent (lasting more than six months) and have a significant negative impact on important areas of life such as work, school, relationships, and identity or sense of self.

    Many adults with social anxiety report feeling shy, timid and lacking in confidence when they were a child. However, not all shy children go on to develop social anxiety. Also, feeling shy does not necessarily mean a person meets the criteria for social anxiety disorder.

    People vary in how shy or outgoing they are, depending on where they are, who they are with and how comfortable they feel in the situation. This is particularly true for children, who sometimes appear reserved and shy with strangers and peers, and outgoing with known and trusted adults.

    Individual differences in temperament, personality traits, early childhood experiences, family upbringing and environment, and parenting style, can also influence the extent to which people feel shy across social situations.

    Shy child hiding behind tree
    Not all shy children go on to develop social anxiety. 249 Anurak/Shutterstock

    However, people with social anxiety have overwhelming fears about embarrassing themselves or being negatively judged by others; they experience these fears consistently and across multiple social situations.

    The intensity of this fear or anxiety often leads people to avoid situations. If avoiding a situation is not possible, they may engage in safety behaviours, such as looking at their phone, wearing sunglasses or rehearsing conversation topics.

    The effect social anxiety can have on a person’s life can be far-reaching. It may include low self-esteem, breakdown of friendships or romantic relationships, difficulties pursuing and progressing in a career, and dropping out of study.

    The impact this has on a person’s ability to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, and the distress this causes, differentiates social anxiety from shyness.

    Children can show similar signs or symptoms of social anxiety to adults. But they may also feel upset and teary, irritable, have temper tantrums, cling to their parents, or refuse to speak in certain situations.

    If left untreated, social anxiety can set children and young people up for a future of missed opportunities, so early intervention is key. With professional and parental support, patience and guidance, children can be taught strategies to overcome social anxiety.

    Why does the distinction matter?

    Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that persists for people who do not receive adequate support or treatment.

    Without treatment, it can lead to difficulties in education and at work, and in developing meaningful relationships.

    Receiving a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder can be validating for some people as it recognises the level of distress and that its impact is more intense than shyness.

    A diagnosis can also be an important first step in accessing appropriate, evidence-based treatment.

    Different people have different support needs. However, clinical practice guidelines recommend cognitive-behavioural therapy (a kind of psychological therapy that teaches people practical coping skills). This is often used with exposure therapy (a kind of psychological therapy that helps people face their fears by breaking them down into a series of step-by-step activities). This combination is effective in-person, online and in brief treatments.

    Man working at home with laptop open on lap
    Treatment is available online as well as in-person. ImYanis/Shutterstock

    For more support or further reading

    Online resources about social anxiety include:

    We thank the Black Dog Institute Lived Experience Advisory Network members for providing feedback and input for this article and our research.

    Kayla Steele, Postdoctoral research fellow and clinical psychologist, UNSW Sydney and Jill Newby, Professor, NHMRC Emerging Leader & Clinical Psychologist, UNSW Sydney

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • The Big Book of Kombucha – by Hannah Crum & Alex LaGory

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    If you’ve been thinking “I should get into kombucha”, then this is the universe prompting you, because with in this book’s 400 pages is all the information you need and more.

    Because, it’s understandable to be wary when starting out, from “what if my jar explodes” to “what if I poison my family”, but the authors (and photographer) take every care to ensure that everything goes perfectly, guiding us through everything from start to finish, including very many high-quality color photos of what things should (and shouldn’t) look like.

    On which note, that does mean that to enjoy the color you should get a physical copy or Kindle Fire, not a Kindle e-ink version (as then it’d be black and white).

    There’s also a comprehensive section on troubleshooting, as well as hundreds of recipes for all kinds of flavors and occasions.

    Bottom line: in the category of books that could reasonably be called “The Bible of…”, this one’s the “The Bible of Kombucha”.

    Click here to check out The Big Book Of Kombucha, and get brewing!

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  • Top 10 Causes Of High Blood Pressure

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    As Dr. Frita Fisher explains, these are actually the top 10 known causes of high blood pressure. Number zero on the list would be “primary hypertension”, which means high blood pressure with no clear underlying cause.

    Superficially, this feels a little like the sometime practice of writing the catch-all “heart failure” as the cause of death on a death certificate, because yes, that heart sure did stop beating. But in reality, primary hypertension is most likely often caused by such things as unmanaged chronic stress—something that doesn’t show up on most health screenings.

    Dr. Fisher’s Top 10

    • Thyroid disease: both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism can cause high blood pressure.
    • Obstructive sleep apnea: characterized by snoring, daytime sleepiness, and headaches, this condition can lead to hypertension.
    • Chronic kidney disease: diseases ranging from diabetic nephropathy to renal vascular disease can cause high blood pressure.
    • Elevated cortisol levels: conditions like Cushing’s syndrome or disease, which involve high cortisol levels, can lead to hypertension—as can a lifestyle with a lot of chronic stress, but that’s less readily diagnosed as such than something one can tell from a blood test.
    • Elevated aldosterone levels: excess aldosterone from the adrenal glands causes the body to retain salt and water, increasing blood pressure, because more stuff = more pressure.
    • Brain tumor: tumors that increase intracranial pressure can cause a rise in blood pressure to ensure adequate brain perfusion. In these cases, the hypertension is keeping you alive—unless it kills you first. If this seems like a strange bodily response, remember that our bodily response to an infection is often fever, to kill off the infection which can’t survive at such high temperatures (but neither can we, so it becomes a game of chicken with our life on the line), so sometimes our body does kill us with one thing while trying to save us from another.
    • Coarctation of the aorta: this congenital heart defect results in narrowing of the aorta, leading to hypertension, especially in the upper body.
    • Pregnancy: pregnancy can either induce or worsen existing hypertension.
    • Obesity: excess weight increases blood flow and pressure on arteries, raising the risk of hypertension and associated conditions, e.g. diabetes etc.
    • Drugs: certain medications and recreational drugs (including, counterintuitively, alcohol!) can elevate blood pressure.

    For more information on each of these, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Hypertension: Factors Far More Relevant Than Salt

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

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