Escape From The Clutches Of Shame
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We’ve written before about managing various emotions, including “negative” ones. We put that in “scare quotes” because they also all have positive aspects, that are just generally overshadowed by the fact that the emotions themselves are not pleasant. But for example…
We evolved our emotions, including the “negative” ones, for our own benefit as a species:
- Stress keeps us safe by making sure we take important situations seriously
- Anger keeps us safe by protecting us from threats
- Disgust keeps us safe by helping us to avoid things that might cause disease
- Anxiety keeps us safe by ensuring we don’t get complacent
- Guilt keeps us safe by ensuring we can function as a community
- Sadness keeps us safe by ensuring we value things that are important to us, and learn to become averse to losing them
- …and so on
You can read more about how to turn these off (or rather, at least pause them) when they’re misfiring and/or just plain not convenient, here:
While it’s generally considered good to process feelings instead of putting them aside, the fact is that sometimes we have to hold it together while we do something, such that we can later have an emotional breakdown at a convenient time and place, instead of the supermarket or bank or office or airport or while entertaining houseguests or… etc.
Today, though, we’re not putting things aside, for the most part (though we will get to that too).
We’ll be dealing with shame, which is closely linked to the guilt we mentioned in that list there.
See also: Reconsidering the Differences Between Shame and Guilt
Shame’s purpose
Shame’s purpose is to help us (as a community) avoid anti-social behavior for which we might be shamed, and thus exiled from the in-group. It helps us all function better together, which is how we thrive as a species.
Shame, therefore, is often assumed to be something we can (and possibly should) use to ensure that we (ourselves and/or others) “do the right thing”.
But there’s a catch…
Shame only works negatively
You may be thinking “well duh, it’s a negative emotion”, but this isn’t about negativity in the subjective sense, but rather, positive vs negative motivation:
- Positive motivation: motivation that encourages us to do a given thing
- Negative motivation: motivation that encourages us to specifically not do a given thing
Shame is only useful as a negative motivation, i.e., encouraging us to specifically not do a given thing.
Examples:
- You cannot (in any way that sticks, at least) shame somebody into doing more housework.
- You can, however, shame somebody out of drinking and driving.
This distinction matters a lot when it comes to how we are with our children, or with our employees (or those placed under us in a management structure), or with people who otherwise look to us as leaders.
It also matters when it comes to how we are with ourselves.
Here’s a paper about this, by the way, with assorted real-world examples:
The negative side of motivation: the role of shame
From those examples, we can see that attempts to shame someone (including oneself) into doing something positive will generally not only fail, they will actively backfire, and people (including oneself) will often perform worse than pre-shaming.
Looking inwards: healthy vs unhealthy shame
Alcoholics Anonymous and similar programs use a degree of pro-social shame to help members abstain from the the act being shamed.
Rather than the unhelpful shame of exiling a person from a group for doing a shameful thing, however, they take an approach of laying out the shame for all to see, feeling the worst of it and moving past it, which many report as being quite freeing emotionally while still [negatively] motivational to not use the substance in question in the future (and similar for activity-based addictions/compulsions, such as gambling, for example).
As such, if you are trying to avoid doing a thing, shame can be a useful motivator. So by all means, if it’s appropriate to your goals, tell your friends/family about how you are now quitting this or that (be it an addiction, or just something generally unhealthy that you’d like to strike off your regular consumption/activity list).
You will still be tempted! But the knowledge of the shame you would feel as a result will help keep you from straying into that temptation.
If you are trying to do a thing, however, (even something thought of in a negative frame, such as “lose weight”), then shame is not helpful and you will do best to set it aside.
You can shame yourself out of drinking sodas (if that’s your plan), but you can’t shame yourself into eating healthy meals. And even if your plan is just shaming yourself out of eating unhealthy food… Without a clear active positive replacement to focus on instead, all you’ll do there is give yourself an eating disorder. You’ll eat nothing when people are looking, and then either a) also eat next to nothing in private or else b) binge in secret, and feel terrible about yourself, neither of which are any good for you whatsoever.
Similarly, you can shame yourself out of bed, but you can’t shame yourself into the gym:
Let it go
There are some cases, especially those where shame has a large crossover with guilt, that it serves no purpose whatsoever, and is best processed and then put aside.
For example, if you did something that you are ashamed of many years ago, and/or feel guilty about something that you did many years ago, but this is not an ongoing thing for you (i.e., it was a one-off bad decision, or a bad habit that have now long since dropped), then feeling shame and/or guilt about that does not benefit you or anyone else.
As to how to process it and put it aside, if your thing harmed someone else, you could see if there’s a way to try to make amends (even if without confessing ill, such as by acting anonymously to benefit the person/group you harmed).
And then, forgive yourself. Regardless of whether you feel like you deserve it. Make the useful choice, that better benefits you, and by extension those around you.
If you are religious, you may find that of help here too. We’re a health science publication not a theological one, but for example: Buddhism preaches compassion including for oneself. Judaism preaches atonement. Christianity, absolution. For Islam, mercy is one of the holiest ideals of the religion, along with forgiveness. So while religion isn’t everyone’s thing, for those for whom it is, it can be an asset in this regard.
For a more worldly approach:
To Err Is Human; To Forgive, Healthy (Here’s How To Do It) ← this goes for when the forgiveness in question is for yourself, too—and we do write about that there (and how)!
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12 Foods That Fight Depression & Anxiety
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Food impacts mental health, and while it won’t magically cure mental illness, dietary changes can do a lot to improve mood. Here’s how:
Nutraceuticals
We’ll not keep the 12 nutraceutical foods a mystery; here’s what they are and a few words on how they work (in many cases, we could write whole articles about them; in some cases, we already have! You can find many of them by using the search function in the top-right of each page).
- Walnuts are rich in omega-3s for brain health; arguably the best nut for depression relief.
- Fermented foods because probiotics in foods like yogurt and sauerkraut support the gut-brain connection as well as serotonin production there, enhancing mood.
- Cherry tomatoes are rich in lycopene, which helps combat both depression and mood swings.
- Leafy greens reduce brain inflammation linked to depression.
- Apples and other fruit are high in fiber and antioxidants that stabilize blood sugar and mood, reducing brain inflammation.
- Beans are high in B vitamins, crucial for neurotransmitter production and mood regulation (without also being high in brain-harmful things, as red meat is).
- Berries are super-high antioxidants and cortisol-lowering anthocyanidins, promoting calmness and reducing stress.
- Oats contain the healthiest kind of fiber, β-glucan, and additionally help stabilize blood sugar and mood; they’re also rich in selenium, which boosts mood.
- Mushrooms help regulate blood sugar and act as prebiotics, supporting serotonin production in the gut.
- Avocados are famously rich in healthy fats, including omega-3s and oleic acid, which support brain health and combat depression.
- Dark chocolate contains antioxidants, magnesium, and gut-healthy prebiotics that indirectly reduce mental stress and improve brain function. Also a famous comfort food for many, of course, and that factor’s not to be overlooked either.
- Pumpkin seeds are rich in tryptophan, which boosts serotonin production. As a bonus, they also help some kinds of antidepressant to work better—check with your doctor or pharmacist to be sure in your case, though.
For more on all of these, enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
The 6 Pillars Of Nutritional Psychiatry
Take care!
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Gooseberries vs Lemon – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing gooseberries to lemons, we picked the gooseberries.
Why?
Both have their merits, but ultimately, it wasn’t close:
In terms of macros, gooseberries have notably more fiber, for about the same carbs and protein, winning this round.
In the category of vitamins, gooseberries have more of vitamins A, B2, B3, B5, and E, while lemons have more of vitamins B9 and C, yielding a 5:2 win for gooseberries.
Looking at minerals, gooseberries have more copper, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while lemons have more iron, so that’s a clear 7:1 victory for gooseberries here.
In other considerations, gooseberries have more polyphenols, so that’s another point in their favor.
Adding up the sections makes for an overwhelming overall win for gooseberries, but by all means do enjoy either or both, as diversity is best!
Want to learn more?
You might like:
Enjoy!
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Dry Needling for Meralgia Paresthetica?
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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
❝Could you address dry needling, who should administer it, and could it be a remedy for meralgia paresthetica? If not, could you speak to home-based remedies for meralgia paresthetica? Thank you?❞
We’ll need to take a main feature some time to answer this one fully, but we will say some quick things here:
- Dry needling, much like acupuncture, has been found to help with pain relief.
- Meralgia paresthetica, being a neuropathy, may benefit from some things that benefit people with peripheral neuropathy, such as lion’s mane mushroom. There is definitely not research to support this hypothesis yet though (so far as we could find anyway; there is plenty to support lion’s mane helping with nerve regeneration in general, but nothing specific for meralgia paresthetica).
Some previous articles you might enjoy meanwhile:
- Pinpointing The Usefulness Of Acupuncture
- Science-Based Alternative Pain Relief
- Peripheral Neuropathy: How To Avoid It, Manage It, Treat It
- What Does Lion’s Mane Actually Do, Anyway?
Take care!
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True Sciatica Or Phantom Sciatica? Know The Difference (& What To Do)
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Dr. Amy Konvalin explains how to tell them apart, and how to make things better rather than worse in each case:
The Phantom of the Fascia
Identifying whether your pain is true sciatica or phantom sciatica is important, because the correct treatment strategies are very different—in some respects, opposite, even—and so using the wrong approach can prolong or worsen symptoms.
True sciatica is an irritation of the sciatic nerve along its path, which forms from multiple nerve roots exiting your spine and travelling through your glutes, the back of your thigh, around the knee, and down into your calf and foot.
- How to recognize it: pain is sharp, shooting, or burning and follows the sciatic nerve pathway, is often worse with sitting, coughing, or bending forwards, usually affects one side, and will often progress to numbness, tingling, or muscle weakness if compression continues.
- What to do about it: avoid stretching your sciatic nerve and hamstrings, focus on inflammation management with gentle pain-free movement, hydration, posture, alignment, and short frequent bouts of movement followed by rest if symptoms do flare up from time to time.
Phantom sciatica is not nerve irritation but muscle or fascial tightness in your hamstrings or calves that mimics the sciatic nerve pattern to create a nonetheless non-neuropathic pain.
- How to recognize it: pain is achy, tight, or pulling rather than sharp or shooting, improves with gentle stretching and massage, eases with standing or light movement, and does not include burning, tingling, or weakness.
- What to do about it: use gentle stretching and self-massage to improve fascial mobility in your hamstrings and calves, keep moving regularly, but avoid aggressive overstretching that could irritate the sciatic nerve (thus creating actual sciatica).
For more on all of this, enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like:
Tight Hamstrings? Here’s A Test To Know If It’s Actually Your Sciatic Nerve
…and, for that matter:
Exercises for Sciatica Pain Relief
Take care!
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The Brain Circuit That Switches Off Chronic Pain
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
…and other items from this week’s health news:
Pain’s “off switch”
Chronic pain is chronic, that is to say, it is characterized by how it keeps on being there. However, in emergency situations, it’s common for the brain to override pain signals (acute or chronic) in order to function sufficiently to deal with the emergency.
In the case of chronic pain, even outside of emergencies it would be nice for the brain to override those pain signals, in order to function sufficiently to deal with everyday life, not to mention to simply enjoy some respite.
Scientists now understand how: there are special neurons in the brainstem’s lateral parabrachial nucleus that can suppress chronic pain signals when survival instincts—like hunger, thirst, or fear—take priority. These Y1R neurons (as they are called) act as a biological switchboard, helping the brain decide when to prioritize immediate needs over lingering pain. The key? They noticed that hunger seemed to reduce chronic pain more effectively than over-the-counter painkillers.
This means two things, in practical terms:
- states (like hunger) that the body recognizes as a threat can shut off pain signals—this is obviously not an ideal solution, since it requires creating states the body recognizes as a threat, and those states are usually not good/sustainable ones either
- new research can now look for ways to flip the switch on these Y1R neurons biochemically, hopefully creating a new class of painkillers that work more effectively and do not have the same drawbacks as, for example, opioids
Read in full: Scientists discover brain circuit that can switch off chronic pain
Related: How Nature Provides Us With A Surprisingly Powerful Painkiller ← this also interrupts the pain signals, albeit in a different way
Cannabis is extra risky for over-65s
Cannabis use is increasing in the US, including among those over 65, though research on long-term effects is still limited because of federal restrictions (the “war on drugs” may have done nothing to reduce drug availability, but has hobbled scientific research for decades).
However, there is still some research, and it’s clear that there are some extra risks for older users, including:
- older adults metabolize cannabis more slowly than younger ones, leading to longer-lasting highs, dizziness, confusion, and higher fall risk
- modern cannabis has far higher THC levels than in past decades (up to 35% in plant form and 90% in concentrates), which means that older adults (accustomed to how things used to be) are more likely to overconsume accidentally, with studies showing tripled emergency visits associated with this
- interactions with medications that are most commonly prescribed to older people—especially blood thinners—can cause further problems too
…in addition to the risks that are closer to the same for everyone, e.g. increased inflammation, cognitive decline, heart disease, heart attacks, and stroke.
Read in full: Regular cannabis use poses risks to those over 65, experts caution
Related: Cannabis Myths vs Reality
HRT: Immune-booster!
Immune function drops sharply after the age of about 60—in men and women, largely due to T-cell production slowing down and eventually all-but-stopping.
For women, there’s usually an additional problem: menopause significantly alters the immune system, leading to more inflammatory white blood cells (monocytes) that are less effective at clearing bacteria and associated with reduced levels of an immune protein essential for fighting infections (it’s called “complement C3”).
However, women have an extra resource at our disposal to give our aging immune systems a boost!
Researchers (Dr. Emma Chambers et al.) found that peri- and post-menopausal women using hormone replacement therapy (HRT) had healthier immune profiles, with fewer inflammatory monocytes, higher complement C3 levels, and infection-fighting capacity closer to that of younger women:
Read in full: Hormone replacement therapy may help restore immunity in menopausal women
Related: Your Brain On (And Off) Estrogen
Take care!
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The Dietary Change That Turns Hair Cells & Skin Cells Into Each Other
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
…and other items from this week’s health news:
Hair today, skin tomorrow?
Hair follicle stem cells (HFSCs), best known for maintaining hair growth, have shown they can also skin repair when needed, by “switching teams” and becoming skin cells.
A key trigger for this shift is the availability of serine—a non-essential amino acid found in foods like meats, animal milks, and grains. When serine levels drop, either through diet or metabolic disruption, the stress response kicks in, prompting HFSCs to pause hair production and focus instead on healing damaged skin; this becomes even more pronounced when the skin is injured—which prompts HFSCs to strongly favor wound repair over hair regeneration, accelerating the healing process.
While reducing serine intake helps strongly push HFSCs toward repair mode, doing the opposite and increasing dietary serine only modestly boosts hair growth, suggesting that the body tightly controls circulating serine levels:
Read in full: Restricting 1 amino acid in food could speed wound healing
Related: The Diet That Slows Skin Aging
Healthy heart, healthy everything else
At 10almonds we often say “healthy heart; healthy brain“, because the former feeds the latter (with oxygen and nutrients) and plays its part in ultimately taking away detritus (thus avoiding build-ups of harmful proteins that are implicated in Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, amongst other dementias).
However, the same is also true for the rest of the body, making heart health truly critical to every other kind of health—for example, a review of hundreds of studies found that people with heart-healthy lifestyles were more likely to preserve brain and lung function, vision, hearing, muscle strength, and dental health as they aged.
Beyond that, they also had lower risks of stress, chronic diseases (e.g. cancer, diabetes, COPD, dementia, fatty liver disease), and mental health conditions like depression:
Read in full: Heart-healthy habits benefit entire body from head to toe, study finds
Related: Your Health Audit, From Head To Toe
Good news for late-night snack-artists
“Don’t eat late at night!”, the common advice goes.
Researchers (Dr. Chelsea Price et al.), investigated this and found that eating a whole avocado (minus the skin and stone) at night led to slightly lower triglyceride levels before breakfast and significantly lower levels three hours after breakfast, compared to a low-fat snack or a processed snack with similar fat and fiber.
This is important, because high triglyceride levels are linked to insulin resistance and increased heart disease risk in people with prediabetes; thus, lowering them generally supports metabolic and cardiovascular health, and in this case, helps mitigate diabetic or prediabetic symptoms.
However, it’s worth noting that:
- It was a small (n=27) study
- It was funded by the Avocado Nutrition Center
Now, we don’t know to what extent “Big Avocado” is (or isn’t) contributing to publication bias here, but it’s something to bear in mind.
Read in full: Nighttime avocado snack may support heart health in prediabetic adults
Take care!
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