When You “Can’t Complain”
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A Bone To Pick… Up And Then Put Back Where We Found It
In today’s Psychology Sunday feature, we’re going to be flipping the narrative on gratitude, by tackling it from the other end.
We have, by the way, written previously about gratitude, and what mistakes to avoid, in one of our pieces on positive psychology:
How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)
“Can’t complain”
Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and come on, who doesn’t like a challenge?) is to go 21 days without complaining (to anyone, including yourself, about anything). If you break your streak, that’s ok, just start again!
Why?
Complaining is (unsurprisingly) inversely correlated with happiness, in a self-perpetuating cycle:
Pet Peeves and Happiness: How Do Happy People Complain?
And if a stronger motivation is required, there’s a considerable inverse correlation between all-cause happiness and all-cause mortality, even when potential confounding factors (e.g., chronic health conditions, socioeconomic status, etc) are controlled for, and especially as we get older:
Investing in Happiness: The Gerontological Perspective
How?
You may have already formulated some objections by this point, for example:
- Am I supposed to tell my doctor/therapist “I’m fine thanks; how are you?”
- Some things are worthy of complaint; should I be silent?
But both of these issues (communication, and righteousness) have answers:
On communication:
There is a difference between complaining, and giving the necessary information in answer to a question—or even volunteering such information.
For example, when our site went down yesterday, some of you wrote to us to let us know the links weren’t working. There is a substantive difference (semantic, ontological, and teleological) between:
- ❝The content was great but the links in “you may have missed” did not work.❞ ← a genuine piece of feedback we received (thank you!)
- ❝Wasted my time, couldn’t read your articles! Unsubscribing, and I hope your socks get wet tomorrow!❞ ← nobody said this; our subscribers are lovely (thank you)
- Note that the former wasn’t a complaint, it was genuinely helpful feedback, without which we might not have noticed the problem and fixed it.
- The latter was a complaint, and also (like many complaints) didn’t even address the actual problem usefully.
What makes it a complaint or not is not the information conveyed, but the tone and intention. So for example:
“You’ve only done half the job I asked you to!” → “Thank you for doing the first half of this job, could you please do the other half now?”
Writer’s anecdote: my washing machine needs a part replaced; the part was ordered two weeks ago and I was told it would take a week to arrive. It’s been two weeks, so tomorrow I will not complain, but I will politely ask whether they have any information about the delay, and a new estimated time of arrival. Because you know what? Whatever the delay is, complaining won’t make it arrive last week!
On righteousness:
Indeed, some things are very worthy of complaint. But are you able to effect a solution by complaining? If not, then it’s just hot air. And venting isn’t without its own merits (we touched on the benefits of emotional catharsis recently), but that should be a mindful choice when you choose to do that, not a matter of reactivity.
Complaining is a subset of criticizing, and criticizing can be done without the feeling and intent of complaining. However, it too should definitely be measured and considered, responsive, not reactive. This itself could be the topic for another main feature, but for now, here’s a Psychology Today article that at least explains the distinction in more words than we have room for here:
React vs Respond: What’s the difference?
This, by the way, also goes the same for engaging in social and political discourse. It’s easy to get angry and reactive, but it’s good to take a moment to pick your battles, and by all means fight for what you believe in, and/but also do so responsively rather than reactively.
Not only will your health thank you, but you’re also more likely to “win friends and influence people” and all that!
What gets measured, gets done
Find a way of tracking your streak. There are apps for that, like this one, or you could find a low-tech method you prefer.
Bonus tip: if you do mess up and complain, and you realize as you’re doing it, take a moment to take a breath and correct yourself in the moment.
Take care!
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Beetroot vs Cucumber – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing beetroot to cucumber, we picked the beetroot.
Why?
While they’re both mostly-water vegetables that can go in salads, soups, and sauces, they have some notable differences:
In terms of macros, beetroot has nearly 3x the carbs and/but also nearly 6x the fiber, so we say beetroot wins this category.
On the vitamins front, beetroot has more of vitamins B1, B2, B3, B6, B7, B9, C, and E, while cucumber has more of vitamins A, B5, and K. In short, a clear win for beetroot.
In the category of minerals, beetroot has more copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while cucumber is not richer in any minerals.
When it comes to beneficial phytochemicals, both have good things to offer, though we say beetroot has more. Notably, cucumber extract beats glucosamine and chondroitin for reducing joint inflammation, at 1/135th of the dose. On the other hand, beetroot’s phytochemical benefits are so numerous we’ll not list them here, and just recommend checking out the link below!
In short, a win in all categories for beetroot, but cucumbers are great too, so by all means enjoy either or both!
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
Beetroot For More Than Just Your Blood Pressure
Enjoy!
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Longevity for the Lazy – by Dr. Richard Malish
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There are some people who devote all their resources to longevity, which can become a full-time occupation, not to mention a very expensive endeavor. This book’s for those who want to get the best possible “bang for buck” by doing the things that have the most favorable cost:worth ratio.
Dr. Malish covers what can be done easily for personal longevity, as well as what technological advances can be enjoyed that those before us didn’t have as options. He also discusses the diseases that are most likely to kill us, and how to avoid those.
He preaches a proactive approach, but one that is simple and consistent and based in good science, and good statistics. Indeed, while he’s served 20 years as an army doctor and a cardiologist, he now works as a healthcare policy consultant, so he is well-placed to advise.
The style of the book is halfway between regular pop-science and a textbook; you can either read it cover-to-cover, or skim first though the key points, highlight boxes, summaries, and the like. He also provides a time-phased task list, for those who like things to be laid out like that.
Bottom line: this is a very good, methodical guide to living longer without making it a full-time occupation.
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Cilantro vs Parsley – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing cilantro to parsley, we picked the parsley.
Why?
Notwithstanding that some of our recipes include “cilantro, or if you have the this-tastes-like-soap gene, parsley”, that choice is more for the taste profile than the nutrition profile. Both are good, though, and it is quite close!
Like many herbs, they’re both full of vitamins and minerals and assorted phytochemicals.
In the category of vitamins, they’re both very good sources of vitamins A, C, and K, but parsley has more of each (and in vitamin K’s case, 4–5 times more). Parsley also has about twice as much folate. For the other vitamins, they’re mostly quite equal except that cilantro has more vitamin E.
When it comes to minerals, again they’re both good but again parsley is better on average, with several times more iron, and about twice as much calcium, zinc, and magnesium. Cilantro only wins noticeably for selenium.
Both have an array of anti-inflammatory phytochemicals, and each boasts antioxidants with anticancer potential.
Both have mood-improving qualities and have research for their anxiolytic and antidepressant effects—sufficient that these deserve their own main feature sometime.
For now though, we’ll say: healthwise, these two wonderful herbs are equal on most things, except that parsley has the better micronutrient profile.
Enjoy!
Further reading
You might also enjoy:
Herbs For (Evidence-Based) Health & Healing
Take care!
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More Mediterranean – by American’s Test Kitchen
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Regular 10almonds readers will know that we talk about the Mediterranean diet often, and with good reason; it’s been for quite a while now the “Gold Standard” when it comes to scientific consensus on what constitutes a good diet for healthy longevity.
However, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of cooking the same three meals and thinking “I must do something different, but not today, because I have these ingredients and don’t know what to cook” and then when one is grocery-shopping, it’s “I should have researched a new thing to cook, but since I haven’t, I’ll just get the ingredients for what I usually cook, since we need to eat”, and so the cycle continues.
This book will help break you out of that cycle! With (as the subtitle promises) hundreds of recipes, there’s no shortage of good ideas. The recipes are “plant-forward” rather than plant-based per se (i.e. there are some animal products in them), though for the vegetarians and vegans, it’s nothing that’s any challenge to substitute.
Bottom line: if you’re looking for “delicious and nutritious”, this book is sure to put a rainbow on your plate and a smile on your face.
Click here to check out More Mediterranean, and inspire your kitchen!
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All In Your Head (Which Is Where It’s Supposed To Be)
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Today’s news is all about things above the neck, and mostly in the brain. From beating depression to beating cognitive decline, from mindfulness against pain to dentistry nightmares to avoid:
Transcranial ultrasound stimulation
Transcranial magnetic stimulation is one of those treatments that sounds like it’s out of a 1950s sci-fi novel, and yet, it actually works (it’s very well-evidenced against treatment-resistant depression, amongst other things). However, a weakness of it is that it’s difficult to target precisely, making modulation of most neurological disorders impossible. Using ultrasound instead of a magnetic field allows for much more finesse, with very promising initial results across a range of neurological disorders
Read in full: Transcranial ultrasound stimulation: a new frontier in non-invasive brain therapy
Related: Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!
This may cause more pain and damage, but at least it’s more expensive too…
While socialized healthcare systems sometimes run into the problem of not wanting to spend money where it actually is needed, private healthcare systems have the opposite problem: there’s a profit incentive to upsell to more expensive treatments. Here’s how that’s played out in dentistry:
Read in full: Dentists are pulling healthy and treatable teeth to profit from implants, experts warn
Related: Tooth Remineralization: How To Heal Your Teeth Naturally
Mindfulness vs placebo, for pain
It can be difficult with some “alternative therapies” to test against placebo, for example “and control group B will merely believe that they are being pierced with needles”, etc. However, in this case, mindfulness meditation was tested as an analgesic vs sham meditation (just deep breathing) and also vs placebo analgesic cream, vs distraction (listening to an audiobook). Mindfulness meditation beat all of the other things:
Read in full: Mindfulness meditation outperforms placebo in reducing pain
Related: No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness
Getting personal with AI doctors
One of the common reasons that people reject AI doctors is the “lack of a human touch”. However, human and AI doctors may be meeting in the middle nowadays, as humans are pressed to see more patients in less time, and AI is trained to be more personal—not just a friendlier affect, but also, such things as remembering the patient’s previous encounters (again, something with which overworked human doctors sometimes struggle). This makes a big difference to patient satisfaction:
Read in full: Personalization key to patient satisfaction with AI doctors
Related: AI: The Doctor That Never Tires?
Combination brain therapy against cognitive decline
This study found that out of various combinations trialled, the best intervention against cognitive decline was a combination of 1) cognitive remediation (therapeutic interventions designed to improve cognitive functioning, like puzzles and logic problems), and 2) transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS), a form of non-invasive direct brain stimulation, similar to the magnetic or ultrasound methods we mentioned earlier today. Here’s how it worked:
Read in full: Study reveals effective combination therapy to slow cognitive decline in older adults
Related: How To Reduce Your Alzheimer’s Risk
Take care!
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What is PMDD?
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Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a mood disorder that causes significant mental health changes and physical symptoms leading up to each menstrual period.
Unlike premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which affects approximately three out of four menstruating people, only 3 percent to 8 percent of menstruating people have PMDD. However, some researchers believe the condition is underdiagnosed, as it was only recently recognized as a medical diagnosis by the World Health Organization.
Read on to learn more about its symptoms, the difference between PMS and PMDD, treatment options, and more.
What are the symptoms of PMDD?
People with PMDD typically experience both mood changes and physical symptoms during each menstrual cycle’s luteal phase—the time between ovulation and menstruation. These symptoms typically last seven to 14 days and resolve when menstruation begins.
Mood symptoms may include:
- Irritability
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Extreme or sudden mood shifts
- Difficulty concentrating
- Depression and suicidal ideation
Physical symptoms may include:
- Fatigue
- Insomnia
- Headaches
- Changes in appetite
- Body aches
- Bloating
- Abdominal cramps
- Breast swelling or tenderness
What is the difference between PMS and PMDD?
Both PMS and PMDD cause emotional and physical symptoms before menstruation. Unlike PMS, PMDD causes extreme mood changes that disrupt daily life and may lead to conflict with friends, family, partners, and coworkers. Additionally, symptoms may last longer than PMS symptoms.
In severe cases, PMDD may lead to depression or suicide. More than 70 percent of people with the condition have actively thought about suicide, and 34 percent have attempted it.
What is the history of PMDD?
PMDD wasn’t added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders until 2013. In 2019, the World Health Organization officially recognized it as a medical diagnosis.
References to PMDD in medical literature date back to the 1960s, but defining it as a mental health and medical condition initially faced pushback from women’s rights groups. These groups were concerned that recognizing the condition could perpetuate stereotypes about women’s mental health and capabilities before and during menstruation.
Today, many women-led organizations are supportive of PMDD being an official diagnosis, as this has helped those living with the condition access care.
What causes PMDD?
Researchers don’t know exactly what causes PMDD. Many speculate that people with the condition have an abnormal response to fluctuations in hormones and serotonin—a brain chemical impacting mood— that occur throughout the menstrual cycle. Symptoms fully resolve after menopause.
People who have a family history of premenstrual symptoms and mood disorders or have a personal history of traumatic life events may be at higher risk of PMDD.
How is PMDD diagnosed?
Health care providers of many types, including mental health providers, can diagnose PMDD. Providers typically ask patients about their premenstrual symptoms and the amount of stress those symptoms are causing. Some providers may ask patients to track their periods and symptoms for one month or longer to determine whether those symptoms are linked to their menstrual cycle.
Some patients may struggle to receive a PMDD diagnosis, as some providers may lack knowledge about the condition. If your provider is unfamiliar with the condition and unwilling to explore treatment options, find a provider who can offer adequate support. The International Association for Premenstrual Disorders offers a directory of providers who treat the condition.
How is PMDD treated?
There is no cure for PMDD, but health care providers can prescribe medication to help manage symptoms. Some medication options include:
- Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants that regulate serotonin in the brain and may improve mood when taken daily or during the luteal phase of each menstrual cycle.
- Hormonal birth control to prevent ovulation-related hormonal changes.
- Over-the-counter pain medication like Tylenol, which can ease headaches, breast tenderness, abdominal cramping, and other physical symptoms.
Providers may also encourage patients to make lifestyle changes to improve symptoms. Those lifestyle changes may include:
- Limiting caffeine intake
- Eating meals regularly to balance blood sugar
- Exercising regularly
- Practicing stress management using breathing exercises and meditation
- Having regular therapy sessions and attending peer support groups
For more information, talk to your health care provider.
If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. For international resources, here is a good place to begin.
This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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