
Beating Toxic Positivity
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How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)
There have been many studies done regards optimism and health, and they generally come to the same conclusion: optimism is simply good for the health.
Here’s an example we’ve mentioned before, but it’s a good introduction to today’s main feature. It’s a longitudinal study, and it followed 121,700 women (what a sample size!) for eight years. It controlled for all kinds of other lifestyle factors (especially smoking, drinking, diet, and exercise habits, as well as pre-existing medical conditions), so this wasn’t a case of “people who are healthy are more optimistic as results. And, in the researchers’ own words…
❝We found strong and statistically significant associations of increasing levels of optimism with decreasing risks of mortality, including mortality due each major cause of death, such as cancer, heart disease, stroke, respiratory disease, and infection. Importantly, findings were maintained after close control for potential confounding factors, including sociodemographic characteristics and depression❞
Read: Optimism and Cause-Specific Mortality: A Prospective Cohort Study
And yet, toxic positivity can cause as many problems as it tries to fix.
What is toxic positivity?
- Toxic positivity is the well-meaning friend who says “I’m sure it’ll be ok” when you know full well it definitely will not.
- Toxic positivity is the allegorical frog-in-a-pan saying that the temperature rises due to climate change are gradual, so they’re nothing to worry about
- Toxic positivity is thinking that “good vibes” will outperform chemotherapy
Sometimes, a dose of realism is needed. So, can we do that and maintain a positive attitude?
The answer is: somewhat, yes! But first, a quick check-in:
❝I’m not a pessimist; I’m a realist!❞
~ every pessimist ever
To believe self-reports, the world is divided between optimists and realists. But how does your outlook measure up, really?
While like most free online tests, this is offered “as-is” with the usual caveats about not being a clinical diagnostic tool, this one actually has a fair amount of scientific weight behind it:
❝Empirical testing has indicated the validity of the Optimism Pessimism Instrument as published in the scientific journal Current Psychology: Research and Reviews.
The IDRlabs Optimism/Pessimism Test (IDR-OPT) was developed by IDRlabs. The IDR-OPT is based on the Optimism/Pessimism Instrument (OPI) developed by Dr. William Dember, Dr. Stephanie Martin, Dr. Mary Hummer, Dr. Steven Howe, and Dr. Richard Melton, at the University of Cincinnati.❞
Take This Short (1–2 mins) Test
How did you score? And what could you do to improve on that score?
First, it’s said that with a big enough “why”, one can overcome any “how”. So…
An attitude of gratitude
We know, we know, it’s very Oprah Winfrey. But also, it works. Take the time, ideally daily, to quickly list 3–5 things for which you feel grateful. Great or small, it can be anything from your spouse to your cup of coffee, provided you feel fortunate to have it.
How this works: our brains easily get stuck in loops, so it can help to nudge them into a more positive loop.
What about when we are treated unfairly? Are we supposed to be grateful?
Sometimes, our less positive emotions are necessary, to protect us and/or those around us, and to provide a motivational force. We can still maintain a positive attitude by noting the bad thing and some good, but watch out! Notice the difference:
- “How dare they take our healthcare away, but at least I’m not sick right now” (lasting impression: no action required)
- “At least I’m not sick right now, but how dare they take our healthcare away!” (lasting impression: action required)
It’s a well-known idea in neurolinguistic programming, that “but” negates whatever goes before it (think of “I’m sorry but”, or “I’m not racist but”, etc), so use it consciously and wisely, or else simply use “and” instead.
Cognitive reframing: problem, or opportunity?
Most problems can be opportunities, even if the problems themselves genuinely suck and are not intrinsically positive. A way of leveraging this can be replacing “I have to…” with “I get to…”.
This not only can reframe problems as opportunities, but also calls back to the gratitude idea.
- Instead of “I have to get my mammogram / prostate exam” (not generally considered fun activities), “I get to have the peace of mind of being free from cancer / I get to have the forewarning that will keep me safe”.
- Instead of “I have to go to work”, “I get to go to work” (many wish they were in your shoes!)
- Instead of “I have to rest”, “I get to rest”
When things are truly not great
Whether due to internal or external factors, whether you can control something or not, sometimes things are truly not great. The trick here is that in most contexts, one can replace negative talk, with verbally positive talk, no matter how dripping with scathing irony. You’ll still get to express the idea you wanted, but your brain will feel more positive and you’ll be in a positive loop rather than a negative one.
This, by the way, is the inverse of talking to a dog with a tone of voice that is completely the opposite of the meaning of the words. Whereas the dog will interpret the tone only, your brain will interpret the words only.
- You just spilled your drink over yourself at a social function? “Aren’t I the very model of grace and charm?”
- You made a costly mistake in your business dealings? “I am such a genius”
- You just got a diagnosis of a terrible disease? “Well, this is fabulous”
None of these things involve burying your head in the sand, in the manner of toxic positivity. You’ll still learn from your business mistake and correct it as best you can, or take appropriate action regards the disease, for example.
You’ll just feel better while you do it, and not get caught into a negative spiral that ruins your day, or even your next few months.
Sympathetic/Somatic Therapy:
Lastly, an easy one, leveraging the body’s tendency to get in sync with things around us:
For when you do just need a mood change, have an uplifting playlist available at the touch of a button. It’s hard to be consumed with counterproductive feelings to the tune of “Walking on Sunshine”!
Bonus tip: consider having the playlist start with something that is lyrically negative while musically upbeat. That way, your brain won’t resist it as antithetical to your mood, and by the second track, you’ll already be on your way to a better mood.
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Bamboo Shoots vs Beetroot – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing bamboo shoots to beetroot, we picked the bamboo.
Why?
It was close!
In terms of macros, bamboo has more protein while beetroot has more fiber and carbs; we’re calling this first round a tie.
In the category of vitamins, bamboo has more of vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, and E, while beetroot has more of vitamins A, B9, and C, yielding a 7:3 win to bamboo here.
Looking at minerals, bamboo has more copper, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while beetroot has more iron and magnesium, making this round a 5:2 win for bamboo.
In other considerations, beetroot is higher in polyphenols and nitrates, and so wins a round finally.
Adding up the sections, however, makes for an overall win for bamboo—do still enjoy either or both though, as diversity is best!
Want to learn more?
You might like:
- Don’t Be Bamboozled By Bamboo! ← including how to eat bamboo, for those unfamiliar with such, as we have been asked about it 🙂
- Beetroot For More Than Just Your Blood Pressure
Enjoy!
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The Menopause Brain – by Dr. Lisa Mosconi
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With her PhD in neuroscience and nuclear medicine (a branch of radiology, used for certain types of brain scans, amongst other purposes), whereas many authors will mention “brain fog” as a symptom of menopause, Dr. Mosconi can (and will) point to a shadowy patch on a brain scan and say “that’s the brain fog, there”.
And so on for many other symptoms of menopause that are commonly dismissed as “all in your head”, notwithstanding that “in your head” is the worst place for a problem to be. You keep almost your entire self in there!
Dr. Mosconi covers how hormones influence not just our moods in a superficial way, but also change the structure of our brain over time.
Importantly, she also gives an outline of how to stay on the ball; what things to watch out for when your doctor probably won’t, and what things to ask for when your doctor probably won’t suggest them.
Bottom line: if menopause is a thing in your life (or honestly, even if it isn’t but you are running on estrogen rather than testosterone), then this is a book for you.
Click here to check out The Menopause Brain, and look after yours!
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Neurologists Debunk 11 Brain Myths
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Neuroscientists Dr. Santoshi Billakota and Dr. Brad Kamitaki debunk 11 myths about the brain. How many did you know?
From the top
Without further ado, the myths are…
- “We only use 10% of our brains”: False! We use most parts of our brain at different times, depending on the activity. PET/MRI scans show widespread usage.
- “The bigger the brain, the smarter the creature”: False! While there’s often a correlation, intelligence depends on brain complexity and development of specific regions, not overall size. For this reason get, for example, some corvids that are more intelligent than some dogs.
- “IQ tests are an accurate measure of intelligence”: False! IQ tests measure limited aspects of intelligence and are influenced by external factors like test conditions and education.
- “Video games rot your brain”: False! Video games can improve problem-solving, strategy, and team-building skills when played in moderation.
- “Memory gets worse as you age”: Partly false. While episodic memory may decline, semantic and procedural memory often improve with age.
- “Left-brained people are logical, and right-brained people are creative”: False! Both hemispheres work together, and personality or skills are influenced by environment and experiences, not brain hemispheres.
- “You can’t prevent a stroke”: False! Strokes can often be prevented by managing risk factors like blood pressure, cholesterol, and lifestyle choices.
- “Eating fish makes you smarter”: False! Eating fish, especially those rich in omega-3s, can support brain health but won’t increase intelligence.
- “You can always trust your senses”: False! Senses can be deceptive and influenced by emotions, memories, or neurological conditions.
- “Different sexes have different brains”: False! Structurally, brains are the same regardless of chromosomal sex; differences arise from environmental (including hormonal) and experiential factors—and even there, there’s more than enough overlap that we are far from categorizable as sexually dimorphic.
- “If you have a seizure, you have epilepsy”: False! A seizure can occur from various causes, but epilepsy is defined by recurrent unprovoked seizures and requires specific diagnosis and treatment.
For more on all of these, enjoy:
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!
Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
The Dopamine Myth ← a bonus 12th myth!
Take care!
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How To Process Rage, Healthily
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We’ve written before about managing various emotions, including “negative” ones. We put that in “scare quotes” because they also all have positive aspects, that are just generally overshadowed by the fact that the emotions themselves are not pleasant. But for example…
We evolved our emotions, including the “negative” ones, for our own benefit as a species:
- Anger keeps us safe by protecting us from threats
- Stress keeps us safe by making sure we take important situations seriously
- Disgust keeps us safe by helping us to avoid things that might cause disease
- Anxiety keeps us safe by ensuring we don’t get complacent
- Guilt keeps us safe by ensuring we can function as a community
- Sadness keeps us safe by ensuring we value things that are important to us, and learn to become averse to losing them
- …and so on
You can read more about how to turn these off (or rather, at least pause them) when they’re misfiring and/or just plain not convenient, here:
While it’s generally considered good to process feelings instead of putting them aside, the fact is that sometimes we have to hold it together while we do something, such that we can later have an emotional breakdown at a convenient time and place, instead of the supermarket or bank or office or airport or while entertaining houseguests or… etc.
Today though, let’s talk about how to actually process the first one, anger. Or, in its extreme form, rage.
All the rage
We’re going to use this word because although anger and rage may be considered synonyms, the latter conveys an extra meaning, which is that it is all-consuming on an emotional level.
- A person experiencing anger may write an angry message in response to a news article they read online
- A person experiencing rage more likely threw their phone down and cannot compose a message at this time
There are two common ways that people will try to deal with feelings of rage, and both of them can cause problems:
- The first is repression, or suppression, more colloquially called “keeping a lid on it” or, less favorably, “bottling it up”.
- The second is expression, or acting out, and may involve such things as screaming one’s rage or punching a pillow.
Let’s look a those one by one…
Bottling it up
As we mentioned earlier, sometimes we must put our feelings aside for a moment, but if we never get back to them, never process them, then either they will simply cause further problems down the line, which come in two main forms:
- An unplanned explosion when something becomes too much (a person “finally losing it” upon being subjected to “the last straw”)
- Somatic (bodily) expression of the unprocessed emotions (physical tension, autoimmune disease, heart problems, ulcers, and so forth)
Letting it out
Punching a pillow, screaming, breaking disposable things (e.g. bottles, plates, etc willingly sacrificed to one’s rage) are certainly more healthy than, saying, beating one’s partner, or child, or taking other such violent actions against others.
It’s also more healthy than the self-harm that some may otherwise engage in when one’s rage is directed towards oneself.
However, it’s still not great, because often it will only enhance the feeling of the rage, without actually processing, which can exacerbate the underlying emotion.
Anyone who’s had a violently abusive partner, or parent, will be able to attest that that person did not become any safer, and certainly not any more emotionally healthy, after a violent outburst.
So, what to actually do about it?
Embodied awareness
The trick is to experience the rage, and observe that feeling without getting lost in it.
See also: Answering The Most Difficult Question: How Are You? ← this is important, because sometimes it’s easy to get so caught up in an emotion that we are effectively nothing more than a conduit for the emotion, rather than a conscious mind experiencing an emotion—which latter is what we need to be.
Another good tool for this (i.e. in addition to the method we described in the above-linked article, which we do heartily recommend checking out) is the RAIN tool with which you may already be familiar, and/but now we’ll discuss in the specific context of rage:
- Recognizing: becoming aware of what you are experiencing; a lot of the time we go through life in autopilot, but for this we’re going to need to “snap out of it” for a moment and be fully awake to what we are experiencing.
- Accepting: “OK, so, I’m experiencing rage”. There’s no point in denying it, or being defensive about it; these things won’t help you. For now, just accept it.
- Investigating: “Why am I experiencing this rage?” Maybe there is an obvious reason, maybe you need to dig for a reason—or dig deeper for the real reason. Often it may be because of something going against some strongly-held value, or else it might be piquing some insecurity that we have. Important: your feelings may be rational or irrational. That’s fine. This is a time for investigating, not judging.
- Non-Identification: not making whatever it is you’re feeling into a part of you. Once you get too attached to “I am angry” etc, it can be difficult to manage something that has become a part of your personality; you’ll defend it rather than tackle it. Right now, it doesn’t matter how justified or righteous your rage is; you want to observe it, not to be it.
There are numerous possible outcomes here, and none of them are necessarily wrong. For example:
- You might realize you were overreacting to something that isn’t actually that big a deal in the grand scheme of things (in which case, you can probably move on from it now)
- You might expose (to yourself) a deep emotional wound you hadn’t previously paid attention to, and now you understand why you feel that way (in which case, you may want to explore that feeling more)
- You might find a desire to take some action to put the world to rights (in which case, this action could be a good idea or a terrible idea; for now, just observe the desire either way; you can decide whether it’s sensible to act on it later)
Here, Dr. Gabor Maté (author of “When The Body Says No“, and many other excellent books) talks about this, though he uses Recognize/Allow/Investigate/Nurture as the acronym, but it’s the same tool:
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!
Where to go from there
In the case of the second item there, taking it to therapy may be a great idea if that’s an option that seems reasonable to you.
See: How To Prepare For Your First Therapy Session
If you prefer self-therapy, then here’s a good book to consider:
Healing Trauma – by Dr. Peter Levine ← it may not sound like this is relevant from the title, but we promise you it is; the main focus of the book is somatic experiencing and processing of emotions
If you intellectually consider that what you need is to let go of your anger/rage, but you’re not sure how, then check out:
To Err Is Human; To Forgive, Healthy: How To Forgive (And Why) ← this includes advice for if the person you need to forgive is yourself
Finally, as a catch-all resource, here is a great list of methods:
How Healthy People Regulate Their Emotions: Eight Things Mentally Healthy People Do
Take care!
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For Many Rural Women, Finding Maternity Care Outweighs Concerns About Abortion Access
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BAKER CITY, Ore. — In what has become a routine event in rural America, a hospital maternity ward closed in 2023 in this small Oregon town about an hour from the Idaho border.
For Shyanne McCoy, 23, that meant the closest hospital with an obstetrician on staff when she was pregnant was a 45-mile drive away over a mountain pass.
When McCoy developed symptoms of preeclampsia last January, she felt she had the best chance of getting the care she needed at a larger hospital in Boise, Idaho, two hours away. She spent the final week of her pregnancy there, too far from home to risk leaving, before giving birth to her daughter.
Six months later, she said it seems clear to her that the health care needs of rural young women like her are largely ignored.
For McCoy and others, figuring out how to obtain adequate care to safely have a baby in Baker City has quickly eclipsed concerns about another medical service lacking in the area: abortion. But in Oregon and elsewhere in the country, progressive lawmakers’ attempts to expand abortion access sometimes clash with rural constituencies.
Oregon is considered one of the most protective states in the country when it comes to abortion. There are no legal limits on when someone can receive an abortion in the state, and the service is covered by its Medicaid system. Still, efforts to expand access in the rural, largely conservative areas that cover most of the state have encountered resistance and incredulity.
It’s a divide that has played out in elections in such states as Nevada, where voters passed a ballot measure in November that seeks to codify abortion protections in the state constitution. Residents in several rural counties opposed the measure.
In Oregon, during the months just before the Baker City closure was announced, Democratic state lawmakers were focused on a proposed pilot program that would launch two mobile reproductive health care clinics in rural areas. The bill specified that the van-based clinics would include abortion services.
State Rep. Christine Goodwin, a Republican from a southwestern Oregon district, called the proposal the “latest example” of urban legislators telling rural leaders what their communities need.
The mobile health clinic pilot was eventually removed from the bill that was under discussion. That means no new abortion options in Oregon’s Baker County — and no new state-funded maternity care either.
“I think if you expanded rural access in this community to abortions before you extended access to maternal health care, you would have an uprising on your hands,” said Paige Witham, 27, a member of the Baker County health care steering committee and the mother of two children, including an infant born in October.
A study published in JAMA in early December that examined nearly 5,000 acute care hospitals found that by 2022, 52% of rural hospitals lacked obstetrics care after more than a decade of unit closures. The health implications of those closures for young women, the population most likely to need pregnancy care, and their babies can be significant. Research has shown that added distance between a patient and obstetric care increases the likelihood the baby will be admitted to a neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU.
Witham said that while she does not support abortion, she believes the government should not “legislate it away completely.” She said that unless the government provides far more support for young families, like free child care and better mental health care, abortion should remain legal.
Conversations with a liberal school board member, a moderate owner of a timber company, members of Baker City’s Republican Party chapter, a local doula, several pregnant women, and the director of the Baker County Health Department — many of whom were not rigidly opposed to abortion — all turned up the same answer: No mobile clinics offering abortions here, please.
Kelle Osborn, a nurse supervisor for the Baker County Health Department, loved the idea of a mobile clinic that would provide education and birth control services to people in outlying areas. She was less thrilled about including abortion services in a clinic on wheels.
“It’s not something that should just be handed out from a mobile van,” she said of abortion services. She said people in her conservative rural county would probably avoid using the clinics for anything if they were understood to provide abortion services.
Both Osborn and Meghan Chancey, the health department’s director, said they would rank many health care priorities higher, including the need for a general surgeon, an ICU, and a dialysis clinic.
Nationally, reproductive health care services of all types tend to be limited for people in rural areas, even within states that protect abortion access. More than two-thirds of people in “maternity care deserts” — all of which are in rural counties — must drive more than a half-hour to get obstetric care, according to a 2024 March of Dimes report. For people in the Southern states where lawmakers installed abortion bans, abortion care can be up to 700 miles away, according to a data analysis by Axios.
Nathan Defrees grew up in Baker City and has practiced medicine here since 2017. He works for a family medicine clinic. If a patient asks about abortion, he provides information about where and how one can be obtained, but he doesn’t offer abortions himself.
“There’s not a lot of anonymity in small towns for physicians who provide that care,” he said. “Many of us aren’t willing to sacrifice the rest of our career for that.”
He also pointed to the small number of patients requesting the service locally. Just six people living in Baker County had an abortion in 2023, according to data from the Oregon Department of Public Health. Meanwhile, 125 residents had a baby that year.
A doctor with obstetric training living in another rural part of the state has chosen to quietly provide early-stage abortions when asked. The doctor, concerned for their family’s safety in the small, conservative town where they live, asked not to be identified.
The idea that better access to abortion is not needed in rural areas seems naive, the doctor said. People most in need of abortion often don’t have access to any medical service not already available in town, the doctor pointed out. The first patient the doctor provided an abortion for at the clinic was a meth user with no resources to travel or to manage an at-home medication abortion.
“It seemed entirely inappropriate for me to turn her away for care I had the training and the tools to do,” the doctor said.
Defrees said it has been easier for Baker County residents to get an abortion since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.
A new Planned Parenthood clinic in Ontario, Oregon, 70 miles away in neighboring Malheur County, was built primarily to provide services to people from the Boise metro area, but it also created an option for many living in rural eastern Oregon.
Idaho is one of the 16 states with near-total bans on abortion. Like many states with bans, Idaho has struggled to maintain its already small fleet of fetal medicine doctors. The loss of regional expertise touches Baker City, too, Defrees said.
For example, he said, the treatment plan for women who have a desired pregnancy but need a termination for medical reasons is now far less clear. “It used to be those folks could go to Boise,” he said. “Now they can’t. That does put us in a bind.”
Portland is the next closest option for that type of care, and that means a 300-mile drive along a set of highways that can be treacherous in winter.
“It’s a lot scarier to be pregnant now in Baker City than it ever has been,” Defrees said.
KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.
Subscribe to KFF Health News’ free Morning Briefing.
This article first appeared on KFF Health News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Which Osteoporosis Medication, If Any, Is Right For You?
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Which Osteoporosis Medication, If Any, Is Right For You?
We’ve written about osteoporosis before, so here’s a quick recap first in case you missed these:
- The Bare-bones Truth About Osteoporosis
- Exercises To Do (And Exercises To Avoid) If You Have Osteoporosis
- We Are Such Stuff As Fish Are Made Of
- Vit D + Calcium: Too Much Of A Good Thing?
All of those look and diet and/or exercise, with “diet” including supplementation. But what of medications?
So many choices (not all of them right for everyone)
The UK’s Royal Osteoporosis Society says of the very many osteoporosis meds available:
❝In terms of effectiveness, they all reduce your risk of broken bones by roughly the same amount.
Which treatment is right for you will depend on a number of things.❞
…before then going on to list a pageful of things it will depend on, and giving no specific information about what prescriptions or proscriptions may be made based on those factors.
Source: Royal Osteoporosis Society | Which medication should I take?
We’ll try to do better than that here, though we have less space. So let’s get down to it…
First line drug offerings
After diet/supplementation and (if applicable) hormones, the first line of actual drug offerings are generally biphosphates.
Biphosphonates work by slowing down your osteoclasts—the cells that break down your bones. They may sound like terrible things to have in the body at all, but remember, your body is always rebuilding itself and destruction is a necessary act to facilitate creation. However, sometimes things can get out of balance, and biphosphonates help tip things back into balance.
Common biphosphonates include Alendronate/Fosamax, Risedronate/Actonel, Ibandronate/Boniva, and Zolendronic acid/Reclast.
A common downside is that they aren’t absorbed well by the stomach (despite being mostly oral administration, though IV versions exist too) and can cause heartburn / general stomach upset.
An uncommon downside is that messing with the body’s ability to break down bones can cause bones to be rebuilt-in-place slightly incorrectly, which can—paradoxically—cause fractures. But that’s rare and is more common if the drugs are taken in much higher doses (as for bone cancer rather than osteoporosis).
Bone-builders
If you already have low bone density (so you’re fighting to rebuild your bones, not just slow deterioration), then you may need more of a boost.
Bone-building medications include Teriparatide/Forteo, Abaloparatide/Tymlos, and Romosozumab/Evenity.
These are usually given by injection, usually for a course of one or two years.
Once the bone has been built up, it’ll probably be recommended that you switch to a biphosphate or other bone-stabilizing medication.
Estrogen-like effects, without estrogen
If your osteoporosis (or osteoporosis risk) comes from being post-menopausal, estrogen is a very common (and effective!) prescription. However, some people may wish to avoid it, if for example you have a heightened breast cancer risk, which estrogen can exacerbate.
So, medications that have estrogen-like effects post-menopause, but without actually increasing estrogen levels, include: Raloxifene/Evista, and also all the meds we mentioned in the bone-building category above.
Raloxifene/Evista specifically mimics the action of estrogen on bones, while at the same time blocking the effect of estrogen on other tissues.
Learn more…
Want a more thorough grounding than we have room for here? You might find the following resource useful:
List of 82 Osteoporosis Medications Compared (this has a big table which is sortable by various variables)
Take care!
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