To Err Is Human; To Forgive, Healthy

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How To Forgive (And Why)

There’s an old saying that holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. If only it were so simple and easy as just choosing to let go!

But it’s not, is it?

When people have wronged us and/or wronged our loved ones, it’s hard to forgive, especially if they have not changed. For that matter, it can be hard to forgive ourselves for mistakes that we made, too.

Either way, “drinking that poison” can be close to literal, in terms of what harboring such anger and resentment can do for our cortisol levels.

So, what to do about it?

If you have a dialogue with the person, our previous article on communication may help a lot.

If you don’t, there are various other angles that can be taken:

The Unsent Letter

You can even send it, if you like, but it’s not the point here. The idea is to write to the person, expressing your grievances. But, (as per the above-linked article on communication) try to focus at least as much on your feelings as their actions. “When you did/said x, I felt y”, etc.

This is important for helping you process your feelings. If you send the letter, it’s also important for the other person to be able to understand your feelings.

Sometimes, we feel the things we do so strongly because we don’t have an outlet for them. Pouring out our emotions in such a fashion, on the other hand, means (to labor the metaphor) they’re no longer bottled up. Even just in and of itself, that can provide us a lot of relief.

And when we the negative emotions are no longer such high pressure, it can be easier to let go of them.

Mindfulness

Following on from the above idea, a good strategy can be simply sitting and feeling everything you need to feel, noticing it without judgement, like a curious observer.

Sometimes what we need is just to be heard, and that starts with hearing ourselves.

Compassion

There’s a Buddhist exercise that involves actively feeling compassion for three people: a loved one, a stranger, and an enemy. Many people report that it’s actually harder to feel compassion for a random stranger, than an enemy. Why? Because we don’t know them; we don’t know what’s good and bad about them in our estimation.

If you’re reading this because you want to be able to gain the peace of being able to forgive someone (even if that someone is yourself), then in at least some respect right now, that person is in the “enemy” category. So how do we unpack that?

To err is human. Everybody screws up sometimes. And also, everyone has a reason (or a complex of reasons) for acting the way they do. This does not mean that those reasons excuse the behavior, but it can explain it.

You don’t get angry at a storm for soaking you through. Even if you might not understand the physics of it in the way a meteorologist might, you understand that there were things that led to that, and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So why do we get angry at someone else for wronging us? Even if we might not understand the personal background of it in the way their psychologist or therapist might, we (hopefully) understand that there were things that caused them to be the way they were, and we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And ourselves? We probably know, when we made a mistake, why we made it. Maybe we were afraid, insecure, reactive, forgetful, or too focused on some other thing. Whatever it was, we did our best at the time and, apparently, our best wasn’t as good as we’d like.

If we didn’t deserve forgiveness, we wouldn’t be critical of our past selves in the first place.

And, the science is very clear that it’s important for our health for other reasons besides cortisol management, too.

And as for others? They did the best they knew how. Maybe they were afraid, insecure, reactive, forgetful, or too focused on some other thing. Same story, different character.

Remembering that can be key to “accepting the apology we never received”.

Forgiving without forgetting

Developing the ability to forgive is a useful tool for our own mental health. It doesn’t mean we must or even should make ourselves a doormat.

“I forgive you” does not have to mean a clean slate; it means remembering that the thing happened, and just not holding on to the anger/resentment associated with it.

It may be water under the bridge now, but it might have been a devastatingly destructive wave at the time, and continuing to acknowledge truth that is sensible. Just, from a position of peace now, hopefully.

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  • What Do The Different Kinds Of Fiber Do? 30 Foods That Rank Highest

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    We’ve talked before about how important fiber is:

    Why You’re Probably Not Getting Enough Fiber (And How To Fix It)

    And even how it’s arguably the most important dietary factor when it comes to avoiding heart disease:

    What Matters Most For Your Heart? Eat More (Of This) For Lower Blood Pressure ← Spoiler: it’s fiber

    And yes, that’s even when considered alongside other (also laudable) dietary interventions such as lowering intake of sodium, various kinds of saturated fat, and red meat.

    So, what should we know about fiber, aside from “aim to get nearer 40g/day instead of the US average 16g/day”?

    Soluble vs Insoluble

    The first main way that dietary fibers can be categorized is soluble vs insoluble. Part of the difference is obvious, but bear with us, because there’s more to know about each:

    • Soluble fiber dissolves (what a surprise) in water and, which part is important, forms a gel. This slows down things going through your intestines, which is important for proper digestion and absorption of nutrients (as well as avoiding diarrhea). Yes, you heard right: getting enough of the right kind of fiber helps you avoid diarrhea.
    • Insoluble fiber does not dissolve (how shocking) in water and thus mostly passes through undigested by us (some will actually be digested by gut microbes who subsist on this, and in return for us feeding them daily, they make useful chemicals for us). This kind of fiber is also critical for healthy bowel movements, because without it, constipation can ensue.

    Both kinds of fiber improve just about every metric related to blood, including improving triglycerides and improving insulin sensitivity and blood glucose levels. Thus, they help guard against various kinds of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and metabolic disease in general. Do note that because whatever’s good for your heart/blood is good for your brain (which requires a healthy heart and bloodstream to nourish it and take away waste), likely this also has a knock-on effect against cognitive decline, but we don’t have hard science for that claim so we’re going to leave that last item as a “likely”.

    However, one thing’s for sure: if you want a healthy gut, heart, and brain, you need a good balance of soluble and insoluble fibers.

    10 of the best for soluble fiber

    FoodSoluble Fiber Type(s)Soluble Fiber (g per serving)Insoluble Fiber Type(s)Insoluble Fiber (g per serving)Total Fiber (g per serving)
    Kidney beans (1 cup cooked)Pectin, Resistant Starch1.5–2Hemicellulose, Cellulose68
    Lentils (1 cup cooked)Pectin, Resistant Starch1.5–2Cellulose67.5
    Barley (1 cup cooked)Beta-glucan3–4Hemicellulose26
    Brussels sprouts (1 cup cooked)Pectin1–1.5Cellulose, Hemicellulose23.5
    Oats (1 cup cooked)Beta-glucan2–3Cellulose13
    Apples (1 medium)Pectin1–2Cellulose, Hemicellulose23
    Carrots (1 cup raw)Pectin1–1.5Cellulose, Hemicellulose23
    Citrus fruits (orange, 1 medium)Pectin1–1.5Cellulose12.5
    Flaxseeds (2 tbsp)Mucilage, Lignin1–1.5Cellulose12.5
    Psyllium husk (1 tbsp)Mucilage3–4Trace amounts03–4

    10 of the best for insoluble fiber

    FoodSoluble Fiber Type(s)Soluble Fiber (g per serving)Insoluble Fiber Type(s)Insoluble Fiber (g per serving)Total Fiber (g per serving)
    Wheat bran (1 cup)Trace amounts0Cellulose, Lignin6–86–8
    Black beans (1 cup cooked)Pectin, Resistant Starch1.5Cellulose67.5
    Brown rice (1 cup cooked)Trace amounts0.5Hemicellulose, Lignin2–32.5–3.5
    Popcorn (3 cups popped)Trace amounts0.5Hemicellulose33.5
    Broccoli (1 cup cooked)Pectin1Cellulose, Hemicellulose45
    Green beans (1 cup cooked)Trace amounts0.5Cellulose, Hemicellulose33.5
    Sweet potatoes (1 cup cooked)Pectin1–1.5Cellulose34.5
    Whole wheat bread (1 slice)Trace amounts0.5Cellulose, Hemicellulose11.5
    Pears (1 medium)Pectin1Cellulose, Hemicellulose45
    Almonds (1 oz)Trace amounts0.5Cellulose, Hemicellulose22.5

    10 of the best for a balance of both

    FoodSoluble Fiber Type(s)Soluble Fiber (g per serving)Insoluble Fiber Type(s)Insoluble Fiber (g per serving)Total Fiber (g per serving)
    Raspberries (1 cup)Pectin1Cellulose56
    Edamame (1 cup cooked)Pectin1Cellulose56
    Chia seeds (2 tbsp)Mucilage, Pectin2–3Lignin, Cellulose35.5
    Artichokes (1 medium)Inulin1Cellulose, Hemicellulose56
    Avocado (1 medium)Pectin~2Cellulose46
    Black beans (1 cup cooked)Pectin, Resistant Starch1.5Cellulose67.5
    Quinoa (1 cup cooked)Pectin, Saponins1Cellulose, Hemicellulose34
    Spinach (1 cup cooked)Pectin0.5Cellulose, Lignin33.5
    Prunes (1/2 cup)Pectin, Sorbitol2Cellulose46
    Figs (3 medium)Pectin1Cellulose23

    You’ll notice that the above “balance” is not equal; that’s ok; we need greater quantities of insoluble than soluble anyway, so it is as well that nature provides such.

    This is the same kind of balance when we talk about “balanced hormones” (does not mean all hormones are in equal amounts; means they are in the right proportions) or “balanced microbiome” (does not mean that pathogens and friendly bacteria are in equal numbers), etc.

    Some notes on the above:

    About those fiber types, some of the most important soluble ones to aim for are:

    • Beta-glucan: found in oats and barley, it supports heart health.
    • Pectin: found in fruits like apples, citrus, and pears, it helps with cholesterol control.
    • Inulin: a type of prebiotic fiber found in artichokes.
    • Lignin: found in seeds and wheat bran, it has antioxidant properties.
    • Resistant starch: found in beans and lentils, it acts as a prebiotic for gut health.

    See also: When Is A Fiber Not A Fiber? The Food Additive You Do Want

    One fiber to rule them all

    Well, not entirely (we still need the others) but there is a best all-rounder:

    The Best Kind Of Fiber For Overall Health?

    Enjoy!

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  • Sizing Aside: Are You Wearing The Right Bra For Your Breast Shape?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s well-known that most women wear incorrectly-fitting bras. Even with careful measurements, buying “off-the-rack” can be a challenge, because the sizing system only takes two measurements, when there are actually many more things to consider. Today’s video demystifies a lot of what else is going on!

    For example…

    Some of the different breast shapes/arrangements to consider:

    • Wide-set breasts: likely to find there’s a bit of a gap between your breasts and the inside (nearest to your sternum) parts of the cups—while spilling out a little at the outside edges. The solution? Bras that offer side-support, to keep things pointing more forwards. Central-closing bras can also help gather things together, and a balconette bra can redistribute things more evenly. Any of these options will be a lot more comfortable.
    • Small breasts: bralettes are your friend, keeping things comfortable while not wearing more bra than necessary to do the job (of course going braless is also an option, but we’re talking bra-fitting here, not bra-flinging-off never to be seen again)
    • Deflated breasts: often the case for someone who used to have larger breasts, but they lost size for hormonal reasons rather than for weight loss reasons. This often occurs a little while after childbirth, and also happens a lot in menopause. The bra recommendation for this? A push-up plunge bra with ¾ coverage not only provides cleavage if that’s wanted, but also, will keep things much more snug and thus more evenly-distributed. If ever you’ve found yourself needing to adjust yourself every now and gain while out, this will fix that and keep you comfortable for much longer.

    There’s more, along with a visual guide, so do check it out:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Further reading

    While we haven’t written about this specifically (maybe we’ll do a “Life Hacks” edition one of these days), we have written about…

    Keeping Abreast Of Your Cancer Risk

    Take care!

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  • The Midlife Cyclist – by Phil Cavell

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Whether stationary cycling in your living room, or competing in the Tour de France, there’s a lot more to cycling than “push the pedals”—if you want to get good benefits and avoid injury, in any case.

    This book explores the benefits of different kinds of cycling, the biomechanics of various body positions, and the physiology of different kinds of performance, and the impact these things have on everything from your joints to your heart to your telomeres.

    The style is very much conversational, with science included, and a readiness to acknowledge in cases where the author is guessing or going with a hunch, rather than something being well-evidenced. This kind of honesty is always good to see, and it doesn’t detract from where the science is available and clear.

    One downside for some readers will be that while Cavell does endeavour to cover sex differences in various aspects of how they relate to the anatomy and physiology (mostly: the physiology) of cycling, the book is written from a male perspective and the author clearly understands that side of things better. For other readers, of course, this will be a plus.

    Bottom line: if you enjoy cycling, or you’re thinking of taking it up but it seems a bit daunting because what if you do it wrong and need a knee replacement in a few years or what if you hurt your spine or something, then this is the book to set your mind at ease, and put you on the right track.

    Click here to check out The Midlife Cyclist, and enjoy the cycle of life!

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  • Here’s the latest you need to know about bird flu

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    What you need to know

    • Although bird flu continues to spread in wild birds, livestock, and humans, the risk to the public remains low.
    • The majority of U.S. bird flu cases have been reported in farm workers who had direct contact with infected birds and cattle. Health officials are working to monitor the spread of the virus and improve protections for those most at risk.
    • Recent data suggests that mutations in bird flu viruses could make them more dangerous to humans and potentially increase the risk of a pandemic.
    • On January 6, Louisiana health officials confirmed the first U.S. death from bird flu.

    Throughout 2024, dozens of human cases of H5N1 bird flu were detected as the virus spreads rapidly in livestock. The current risk to humans is low but not nonexistent. Here’s everything you need to know about the current status and future outlook of H5 bird flu in the United States.

    Current U.S. bird flu status (as of January 6, 2025)

    As of January 6, 66 human bird flu cases have been reported in eight states. Over half of all cases are in California. The state’s governor declared a state of emergency as a “proactive” action against bird flu on December 18. 

    On January 6, the Louisiana Department of Health reported the first U.S. bird flu death. The patient, a man over age 65, was previously confirmed to be the first severe bird flu case in the U.S. and the first case linked to backyard flocks. The department emphasized that the risk to the public is low and that no new cases or evidence of human transmission have been detected in the state.

    All but two human bird flu cases this year were in farm workers who were exposed to infected livestock. The exposure source of the remaining cases—one in California and one in Missouri—is unknown. 

    The CDC reported on November 22 that a child in California tested positive for bird flu, the first known pediatric bird flu case in the U.S. However, it is unclear how the child contracted the virus, as they had no known contact with infected animals. 

    To date, there have been no reports of human transmission of bird flu during the current outbreak. Additionally, most human cases have not been severe, and no deaths have been reported. For these reasons, experts are confident that the bird flu risk to humans remains low. 

    “In the short term, there is very little threat,” Dr. Scott Roberts, an infectious diseases specialist with Yale Medicine said. “The risk for the general public is so low,” he emphasized to Yale Medicine.

    How the U.S. is monitoring bird flu 

    The CDC continues to monitor the circulation of bird flu in humans as part of its year-round flu monitoring. The agency is also working to improve protections for farm workers, who are at the highest risk of contracting bird flu.

    In November 2024, the CDC also announced expanded actions and updated guidance for farm workers, including improved access to and training for using personal protective equipment (such as N95 face masks), more rigorous testing procedures, and increased outreach. These updates followed a CDC report finding that 7 percent of participating dairy workers had signs of a recent bird flu infection. A second CDC study, also released in November, found inadequate use of personal protective equipment among dairy workers on farms with bird flu outbreaks. 

    After the H5N1 virus was found in raw milk being sold in California, the U.S. Department of Agriculture announced on December 6 that unpasteurized milk must be tested for bird flu. The USDA order also requires dairy farms with positive bird flu cases to cooperate with health officials in disease surveillance. 

    Is a bird flu pandemic possible?

    In early November, a Canadian teen was hospitalized with bird flu caused by a virus that’s closely related to the H5N1 virus circulating in the U.S. The case has troubled experts for a few reasons. 

    First, it is Canada’s first human bird flu case where the patient was not infected while traveling, and the source of exposure is unknown. Second, the teen experienced severe symptoms and developed a lung infection requiring critical care, raising concern that bird flu infections may be more severe in younger people. 

    The final and biggest concern about the case is that genetic analysis revealed several changes in the virus’s DNA sequence, called mutations, that could potentially make the virus better able to infect humans. Researchers say that two of those mutations could make it easier for the virus to infect humans, and another one may make it easier for the virus to replicate after infecting a human. However, it’s unclear if the changes occurred before or after the teen was infected.

    Scott Hensley, a professor of microbiology at the University of Pennsylvania, told Nature that “this should serve as a warning: this virus has the capacity to switch very quickly into a form that can cause severe disease.”

    Notably, even in this more severe case, there is still no evidence of human transmission, which is necessary for a potential bird flu pandemic. However, the case underscores the risk of new and potentially dangerous mutations emerging as the H5N1 virus continues to spread and multiply. 

    A study published in Science on December 5 found that a genetic change on a protein on the surface of the virus could make it easier for the virus to attach to and infect human cells. But none of the mutations observed in the Canadian case are those identified in the study. 

    Importantly, the researchers stressed that the ability of the virus to attach to a specific part of human cells “is not the only [factor] required for human-to-human transmission of influenza viruses.” 

    How to stay safe

    Most people are not at high risk of being exposed to bird flu. The virus is spreading between animals and from animals to humans through direct contact. The CDC recommends avoiding the consumption of raw milk products and direct contact with wild birds and potentially infected livestock. 

    “Pasteurization kills the bird flu virus and other harmful germs that can be found in raw milk,” says a November 24 California Department of Public Health press release. “CDPH advises consumers not to drink raw milk or eat raw milk products due to the risk of foodborne illnesses.”

    Additionally, although the annual flu shot does not protect against bird flu, getting vaccinated helps prevent infection with seasonal flu and bird flu at the same time. In very rare instances, getting infected by two influenza viruses at the same time can result in a combination of genetic material that produces a new virus. 

    This phenomenon, known as antigenic shift, triggered the 2009 swine flu pandemic.

    Learn more about how to protect yourself and your loved ones against bird flu.

    For more information, talk to your health care provider.

    This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

    Don’t Forget…

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  • Gentle Nutrition – by Rachel Hartley, RD, LD

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    The subtitle here claims “a non-diet approach”, but doesn’t everything, nowadays? Even books titled “The such-and-such Diet” tend to also assure us “it’s not actually a diet; it’s just a way of eating”, as if a diet is not—by definition—a way of eating. Usually what they want to communicate is that it’s not a restrictive diet, usually meaning not restrictive in quantity, or not restrictive in food type (rarely both).

    This book is about intuitive eating, which is about as non-restrictive as any dietary approach can be, since it doesn’t restrict food type at at all, and it doesn’t restrict quantity in advance—rather, we learn to pay closer attention to our full signals.

    No wait, we don’t. This time, it’s not about “full”, it’s about “satisfied”. This comes in two forms:

    1. A principle somewhat akin to the “eat until 80% full” idea
    2. A principle of ensuring the good is culinarily satisfying

    This latter is important, if we want to have a good relationship with eating, and it also helps reduce portion sizes, when we truly take the time to mindfully savor a tasty morsel, rather than wolf down a plate of mediocre food.

    The style is one that balance being encouraging with delivering science to back up that encouragement. This not only means encouragement to take up this dietary approach, but also, encouragement to let go of things like calorie-counting and BMI.

    The recipes arranged per meal type, and indeed include things not found in many healthy eating books, such as gyoza dumplings, gnocchi, wontons, and shortbread. The recipes are mostly not, by default, vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, dairy-free, or such. So if you have your own food restriction(s), the number of usable recipes will be diminished, barring any substitutions you can make yourself.

    Bottom line: this is more about about how to go about intuitive eating, than it is a book with a lot of nutritional information (though there is some of that too). If you’d like to get going with intuitive eating, then this book can help.

    Click here to check out Gentle Nutrition, and nourish gently!

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  • Gut Health 2.0

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    Gene Expression & Gut Health

    Dr. Tim Spector, a renowned expert in Gut Health 2.0, offers valuable insights and expertise on the latest advancements in improving gut health and overall well-being. With years of research and

    This is Dr. Tim Spector. After training in medicine and becoming a consultant rheumatologist, he’s turned his attention to medical research, and is these days a specialist in twin studies, genetics, epigenetics, microbiome, and diet.

    What does he want us to know?

    For one thing: epigenetics are for more than just getting your grandparents’ trauma.

    More usefully: there are things we can do to improve epigenetic factors in our body

    DNA is often seen as the script by which our body does whatever it’s going to do, but it’s only part of the story. Thinking of DNA as some kind of “magical immutable law of reality” overlooks (to labor the metaphor) script revisions, notes made in the margins, directorial choices, and ad-lib improvizations, as well as the quality of the audience’s hearing and comprehension.

    Hence the premise of one of Dr. Spector’s older books, “Identically Different: Why We Can Change Our Genes

    (*in fact, it was his first, from all the way back in 2013, when he’d only been a doctor for 34 years)

    Gene expression will trump genes every time, and gene expression is something that can often be changed without getting in there with CRISPR / a big pair of scissors and some craft glue.

    How this happens on the micro level is beyond the scope of today’s article; part of it has to do with enzymes that get involved in the DNA transcription process, and those enzymes in turn are despatched or not depending on hormonal messaging—in the broadest sense of “hormonal”; all the body’s hormonal chemical messengers, not just the ones people think of as hormones.

    However, hormonal messaging (of many kinds) is strongly influenced by something we can control relatively easily with a little good (science-based) knowledge: the gut.

    The gut, the SAD, and the easy

    In broad strokes: we know what is good for the gut. We’ve written about it before at 10almonds:

    Making Friends With Your Gut (You Can Thank Us Later)

    This is very much in contrast with what in scientific literature is often abbreviated “SAD”, the Standard American Diet, which is very bad for the gut.

    However, Dr. Spector (while fully encouraging everyone to enjoy an evidence-based gut-healthy diet) wanted to do one better than just a sweeping one-size-fits-all advice, so he set up a big study with 15,000 identical twins; you can read about it here: TwinsUK

    The information that came out of that was about a lot more than just gene expression and gut health, but it did provide the foundation for Dr. Spector’s next project, ZOE.

    ZOE crowdsources huge amounts of data including individual metabolic responses to standardized meals in order to predict personalized food responses based on individual biology and unique microbiome profile.

    In other words, it takes the guesswork out of a) knowing what your genes mean for your food responses b) tailoring your food choices with your genetic expression in mind, and c) ultimately creating a positive feedback loop to much better health on all levels.

    Now, this is not an ad for ZOE, but if you so wish, you can…

    Want to know more?

    Dr. Spector has a bunch of books out, including some that we’ve reviewed previously:

    You can also check out our own previous main feature, which wasn’t about Dr. Spector’s work but was very adjacent:

    The Brain-Gut Highway: A Two-Way Street

    Enjoy!

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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