Oversharers can be fun and amiable; the life of the party. In and of itself, this something that can be considered “pro-social” and thus healthy.

But the problem for one’s mental health in the long-run lies in the “over” part of oversharing. Sometimes, if not checking in with the other person’s comfort, oversharing can be “trauma-dumping”, and push people away. Alternatively, if the oversharing exposes an unmet need, it can make the other person feel obliged to try to help in some fashion, which in the long run may also cause awkwardness and withdrawal.

Some potential problems are purely internal, such the feelings of shame or anxiety that can come afterwards; “I should not have been so vulnerable”, “What if my friends think badly of me now?”, etc.

And of course, sometimes those fears are then validated by reality, if “friends” indeed take advantage of that, or withdraw their friendship. That’s a minority occurrence, but it doesn’t make it any less of a crushing thing if it happens.

Sometimes people overshare because of being a bad judge of what’s a socially-approved appropriate amount of sharing; sometimes people overshare out of a need for closeness, and perhaps the hope of hearing what one needed to hear previously.

The dangers of oversharing don’t mean that we should never speak about our experiences and feelings; in fact sometimes, it is the most healthy thing to do—be it because it’s something that needs communicating to a specific person, or because it’s something we just need to “get off our chest”.

In short, it can be good to share! It can also be good to do so judiciously, by conscious decision and not in response to a spur-of-the-moment impulse, and remember to prioritize our own safety.

Below, Alain de Botton explains more of the psychodynamics of this:

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10almonds tip, not included in the video: unsure whether your urge to share is too impulsive or not? Write a letter/email, and wait until the next day to decide whether or not to send it.

Want to read more?

Check out:

Breathe; Don’t Vent (At Least In The Moment)

Take care!

…and then covers its tracks so that you don’t notice:

Now you see it…

The world you experience is not an accurate representation of reality. Your brain actively constructs your perception, editing your memories as they happen and manipulating your sense of time. What you perceive as the present moment is actually a processed and reconstructed version of past events.

Nor is your vision anywhere near as detailed as it seems. Only a small central portion is in high resolution, while the rest is blurry. Your brain compensates for this by filling in the gaps with its best guess and/or what it believes is there from the last time you saw it. Your eyes constantly make rapid movements called saccades, and during these (i.e. when your eyes are moving), your vision momentarily shuts down—making you effectively blind for (in total, if we add them all up) about two hours every day (according to this video, anyway; our calculations find it to be more than that, but you get the idea). Your brain stitches together the visual input, creating a seamless experience that feels continuous (much like an animation reel composed of still images).

Why does it do this?

It’s because your senses operate at different speeds—light reaches your eyes in nanoseconds, sound in milliseconds, and touch signals in tens of milliseconds. However, your brain processes these inputs together, creating the illusion of a smooth and simultaneous experience. In reality, what you perceive as the present is actually a delayed and selectively edited version of the past.

Instead of showing you the world as it is, your brain predicts what will happen next. In high-speed situations, such as playing table tennis, if your brain relied on past sensory data, you wouldn’t react in time. Instead, it estimates an object’s future position and presents that prediction as your visual reality.

This also means that because your brain effectively sees things slightly sooner than you do, your brain has already prepared multiple possible responses and when an event occurs, it quickly selects the most likely course of action, deleting the alternatives before you are even aware of them. By the time you think you’ve made a decision, your body has already acted.

This goes for more than just the things we think of as requiring quick reactions!

Walking is a complex task that involves multiple time layers—your brain processes past feedback, assesses your current state, and predicts future movements. That’s why it was something that cyberneticists found difficult to recreate for a very long time. If something unexpected happens, like slipping cartoon-style on a banana peel, your body reacts before you consciously notice the danger. Your spinal cord and brainstem trigger emergency reflexes to stabilize you before your conscious mind even catches up.

For more on all of this, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like:

This Main Feature Should Take You Two Minutes (and 18 Seconds) To Read ← There’s a problem nobody wants to talk about when it comes to speed-reading; can you guess what it is based on what we just talked about above?

Take care!

What do you think? Are they actually harsh? We’re not convinced, but either way they are helpful, which is the important part:

10 Helpful Truths

Here they are:

1. Simple isn’t easy: simplicity doesn’t guarantee ease; focus on small, manageable habits that meet you where you are.
2. Hard habits: the changes we resist most are often the ones we need most to grow.
3. We stand in our own way: doubt and lack of commitment hinder progress; believe in possibilities and take consistent action.
4. Success is failure: failure is often part of the route to success; it provides valuable lessons if we embrace and reflect on it.
5. Nothing works forever: adapt and evolve as circumstances change; clinging to outdated habits can hinder progress.
6. Effort doesn’t equal outcome: feeling like you’re working hard doesn’t always mean you’re making effective progress.
7. Someone always has it easier: comparisons are inevitable but unhelpful; focus on your own unique path and progress.
8. There’s no one best thing: results depend on creating systems that fit your lifestyle, not chasing a single magic solution.
9. Mindset matters most: success requires examining your mindset, lifestyle, and priorities, not just physical actions.
10. Do it anyway: push through resistance, especially on tough days; discipline and consistency create success.

For more on all of each of these, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like to read:

How To Really Pick Up (And Keep!) Those Habits

Take care!