The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD – by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger
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ADHD (what a misleadingly-named condition) is most often undiagnosed in adults, especially older adults, and has far-reaching effects. This book explores those!
Oftentimes ADHD is not a deficit of attention, it’s just a lack of choice about where one’s attention goes. And the H? It’s mostly not what people think it is. The diagnostic criteria have moved far beyond the original name.
But in a marriage, ADHD symptoms such as wandering attention, forgetfulness, impulsiveness, and a focus on the “now” to the point of losing sight of the big picture (the forgotten past and the unplanned future), can cause conflict.
The authors write in a way that is intended for the ADHD and/or non-ADHD partner to read, and ideally, for both to read.
They shine light on why people with or without ADHD tend towards (or away from) certain behaviours, what miscommunications can arise, and how to smooth them over.
Best of all, an integrated plan for getting you both on the same page, so that you can tackle anything that arises, as the diverse team (with quite different individual strengths) that you are.
Bottom line: if you or a loved one has ADHD symptoms, this book can help you navigate and untangle what can otherwise sometimes get a little messy.
Click here to check out The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD, and learn how to do just that!
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Dial Down Your Pain
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This is Dr. Christiane Wolf. Is than an MD or a PhD, you ask? The answer is: yes (it is both; the latter being in psychosomatic medicine).
She also teaches Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, which as you may recall is pretty much the most well-evidenced* form of meditation there is, in terms of benefits:
No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness
*which is not to claim it is necessarily the best (although it also could be); rather, this means that it is the form of meditation that’s accumulated the most scientific backing in total. If another equal or better form of meditation enjoyed less scientific scrutiny, then there could an alternative out there languishing with only two and a half scientific papers to its name. However, we at 10almonds are not research scientists, and thus can only comment on the body of evidence that has been published.
In any case, today is going to be about pain.
What does she want us to know?
Your mind does matter
It’s easy to think that anything you can do with your mind is going to be quite small comfort when your nerves feel like they’re on fire.
However, Dr. Wolf makes the case for pain consisting of three components:
- the physical sensation(s)
- the emotions we have about those
- the meaning we give to such (or “the story” that we use to describe it)
To clarify, let’s give an example:
- the physical sensations of burning, searing, and occasionally stabbing pains in the lower back
- the emotions of anguish, anger, despair, self-pity
- the story of “this pain has ruined my life, is making it unbearable, will almost certainly continue, and may get worse”
We are not going to tell you to throw any of those out of the window for now (and, would that you could throw the first line out, of course).
The first thing Dr. Wolf wants us to do to make this more manageable is to break it down.
Because presently, all three of those things are lumped together in a single box labelled “pain”.
If each of those items is at a “10” on the scale of pain, then this is 10×10×10=1000.
If our pain is at 1000/10, that’s a lot. We want to leave the pain in the box, not look at it, and try to distract ourselves. That is one possible strategy, by the way, and it’s not always bad when it comes to giving oneself a short-term reprieve. We balanced it against meditation, here:
Managing Chronic Pain (Realistically)
However, back to the box analogy, if we open that box and take out each of those items to examine them, then even without changing anything, even with them all still at 10, they can each be managed for what they are individually, so it’s now 10+10+10=30.
If our pain is at 30/10, that’s still a lot, but it’s a lot more manageable than 1000/10.
On rating pain, by the way, see:
Get The Right Help For Your Pain
Dealing with the separate parts
It would be nice, of course, for each of those separate parts to not be at 10.
With regard to the physical side of pain, this is not Dr. Wolf’s specialty, but we have some good resources here at 10almonds:
- The 7 Approaches To Pain Management
- 10 Tips To Reduce Morning Pain & Stiffness With Arthritis
- Science-Based Alternative Pain Relief: When Painkillers Aren’t Helping, These Things Might
When it comes to emotions associated with pain, Dr. Wolf (who incidentally is a Buddhist and also a teacher of same, and runs meditation retreats for such), recommends (of course) mindfulness, and what in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is called “radical acceptance” (in Buddhism, it may be referred to as being at one with things). We’ve written about this here:
“Hello, Emotions”: Radical Acceptance In CBT & DBT
Once again, the aim here is still not to throw the (often perfectly valid) emotions out of the window (unless you want to), but rather, to neutrally note and acknowledge the emotions as they arrive, á la “Hello, despair. Depression, my old foe, we meet again. Hello again, resentment.” …and so on.
The reason this helps is because emotions, much like the physical sensations of pain, are first and foremost messengers, and sometimes (as in the case of chronic pain) they get broken and keep delivering the message beyond necessity. Acknowledging the message helps your brain (and all that is attached to it) realize “ok, this message has been delivered now; we can chill about it a little”.
Having done that, if you can reasonably tweak any of the emotions (for example, perhaps that self-pity we mentioned could be turned into self-compassion, which is more useful), that’s great. If not, at least you know what’s on the battlefield now.
When we examine the story of our pain, lastly, Dr. Wolf invites us to look at how one of the biggest drivers of distress under pain is the uncertainty of how long the pain will last, whether it will get worse, whether what we are doing will make it worse, and so forth. See for example:
How long does back pain last? And how can learning about pain increase the chance of recovery?
And of course, many things we do specifically in response to pain can indeed make our pain worse, and spread:
Dr. Wolf’s perspective says:
- Life involves pain
- Pain invariably has a cause
- What has a cause, can have an end
- We just need to go through that process
This may seem like small comfort when we are in the middle of the pain, but if we’ve broken it down into parts with Dr. Wolf’s “box method”, and dealt with the first two parts (the sensations and the emotions) as well as reasonably possible, then we can tackle the third one (the story) a little more easily than we could if we were trying to come at it with no preparation.
What used to be:
“This pain has ruined my life, is making it unbearable, will almost certainly continue, and may get worse”
…can now become:
“This pain is a big challenge, but since I’m here for it whether I want to be or not, I will suffer as I must, while calmly looking for ways to reduce that suffering as I go.”
In short: you cannot “think healing thoughts” and expect your pain to go away. But you can do a lot more than you might (if you left it unexamined) expect.
Want to know more from Dr. Wolf?
We reviewed a book of hers recently, which you might enjoy:
Outsmart Your Pain – by Dr. Christiane Wolf
Take care!
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Want the health benefits of strength training but not keen on the gym? Try ‘exercise snacking’
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The science is clear: resistance training is crucial to ageing well. Lifting weights (or doing bodyweight exercises like lunges, squats or push-ups) can help you live independently for longer, make your bones stronger, reduce your risk of diseases such as diabetes, and may even improve your sleep and mental health.
But not everyone loves the gym. Perhaps you feel you’re not a “gym person” and never will be, or you’re too old to start. Being a gym-goer can be expensive and time-consuming, and some people report feeling unwelcome or awkward at the gym.
The good news is you don’t need the gym, or lots of free time, to get the health benefits resistance training can offer.
You can try “exercise snacking” instead.
Pressmaster/Shutterstock What is exercise snacking?
Exercise snacking involves doing multiple shorter bouts (as little as 20 seconds) of exercise throughout the day – often with minimal or no equipment. It’s OK to have several hours of rest between.
You could do simple bodyweight exercises such as:
- chair sit-to-stand (squats)
- lunges
- box step-ups
- calf raises
- push-ups.
Exercise snacking like this can help improve muscle mass, strength and physical function.
It’s OK to hold onto a nearby object for balance, if you need. And doing these exercises regularly will also improve your balance. That, in turn, reduces your risk of falls and fractures.
OK I have done all those, now what?
Great! You can also try using resistance bands or dumbbells to do the previously mentioned five exercises as well as some of the following exercises:
When using resistance bands, make sure you hold them tightly and that they’re securely attached to an immovable object.
Exercise snacking works well when you pair it with an activity you do often throughout the day. Perhaps you could:
- do a few extra squats every time you get up from a bed or chair
- do some lunges during a TV ad break
- chuck in a few half squats while you’re waiting for your kettle to boil
- do a couple of elevated push-ups (where you support your body with your hands on a chair or a bench while doing the push-up) before tucking into lunch
- sneak in a couple of calf raises while you’re brushing your teeth.
Exercise snacking involves doing multiple shorter bouts (as little as 20 seconds) of exercise throughout the day. Cavan-Images/Shutterstock What does the evidence say about exercise snacking?
One study had older adults without a history of resistance training do exercise snacks at home twice per day for four weeks.
Each session involved five simple bodyweight exercises (chair sit-to-stand, seated knee extension, standing knee bends, marching on the spot, and standing calf raises). The participants did each exercise continuously for one minute, with a one-minute break between exercises.
These short and simple exercise sessions, which lasted just nine minutes, were enough to improve a person’s ability to stand up from a chair by 31% after four weeks (compared to a control group who didn’t exercise). Leg power and thigh muscle size improved, too.
Research involving one of us (Jackson Fyfe) has also shown older adults found “exercise snacking” feasible and enjoyable when done at home either once, twice, or three times per day for four weeks.
Exercise snacking may be a more sustainable approach to improve muscle health in those who don’t want to – or can’t – lift heavier weights in a gym.
A little can yield a lot
We know from other research that the more you exercise, the more likely it is you will keep exercising in future.
Very brief resistance training, albeit with heavier weights, may be more enjoyable than traditional approaches where people aim to do many, many sets.
We also know brief-and-frequent exercise sessions can break up periods of sedentary behaviour (which usually means sitting too much). Too much sitting increases your risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes, whereas exercise snacking can help keep your blood sugar levels steady.
Of course, longer-term studies are needed. But the evidence we do have suggests exercise snacking really helps.
Just a few short exercise sessions can do you a world of good. eggeegg/Shutterstock Why does any of this matter?
As you age, you lose strength and mass in the muscles you use to walk, or stand up. Everyday tasks can become a struggle.
All this contributes to disability, hospitalisation, chronic disease, and reliance on community and residential aged care support.
By preserving your muscle mass and strength, you can:
- reduce joint pain
- get on with activities you enjoy
- live independently in your own home
- delay or even eliminate the need for expensive health care or residential aged care.
What if I walk a lot – is that enough?
Walking may maintain some level of lower body muscle mass, but it won’t preserve your upper body muscles.
If you find it difficult to get out of a chair, or can only walk short distances without getting out of breath, resistance training is the best way to regain some of the independence and function you’ve lost.
It’s even more important for women, as muscle mass and strength are typically lower in older women than men. And if you’ve been diagnosed with osteoporosis, which is more common in older women than men, resistance exercise snacking at home can improve your balance, strength, and bone mineral density. All of this reduces the risk of falls and fractures.
You don’t need heavy weights or fancy equipment to benefit from resistance training.
So, will you start exercise snacking today?
Justin Keogh, Associate Dean of Research, Faculty of Health Sciences and Medicine, Bond University and Jackson Fyfe, Senior Lecturer, Strength and Conditioning Sciences, Deakin University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Sleep Smarter – by Shawn Stevenson
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You probably know to avoid blue light before bed, put a curfew on the caffeine, and have fresh bedding. So, what does this book offer that’s new?
As the subtitle suggests, it’s 21 tips for better sleep, so if even half of them are new, then it’ll still be adding value.
This is a book review, not a book summary, but to give an idea of the kind of thing you might not already know: there’s a section on bedroom houseplants! For example…
- Which plants filter the air best according to NASA, rather than “according to tradition”
- Which plants will thrive in what will hopefully be a cool dark environment
- Which plants produce oxygen even at night, rather than just during the day
The writing style is personable without losing clarity or objectivity:
- We read personal anecdotes, and we read science
- We get “I tried this”, and we get “this sleep study found such-and-such”
- We get not just the “what”, but also the “why” and the “how”
We get the little changes that make a big difference—sometimes the difference between something working or not!
Bottom line: if you’d like to get better sleep and a blue light filter hasn’t wowed you and changed your life, this book will bring your sleep knowledge (and practice) to the next level.
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You May Have More Air Pollution In Your Home Than In The Street
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Certainly, gas stoves and heaters can cause indoor air pollution, with carbon monoxide (CO) being the main risk. Even if you have a CO alarm, the level at which it will go off is usually the “this will kill you tonight if you don’t do something about it soon” level, rather than the “this will slowly kill your brain cells but you’ll keep functioning otherwise, until one day you don’t” levels of CO.
Still, do by all means have a CO alarm if you have anything in your house that can release CO!
Fun fact about those stoves:
❝Just 1 kilogram of cooking fuel emits 10 quadrillion particles smaller than 3 nanometers, which matches or exceeds what’s emitted from cars with internal combustion engines.
At that rate, you might be inhaling 10-100 times more of these sub-3 nanometer particles from cooking on a gas stove indoors than you would from car exhaust while standing on a busy street.❞
But today, we’re not here about that
Rather, we are looking at some more innocent-seeming things, such as scented cleaning products and air fresheners. Notably, the biggest problem is often not even the cleaning chemicals themselves. Of course: please don’t breathe bleach fumes, etc.
But that’s an obvious risk, and today we’re about the less obvious risks.
So… What is the less obvious risk here?
It’s the fragrances. The terpenes used to hold them react with ozone in the air, to create new nanoparticles. And, just like the nanoparticles from the stove, these can reach very high concentrations indoors, and suffice it to say, if you can smell the fragrance then you have the pollutants inside you.
You can read about how badly different products score, here:
Rapid Nucleation and Growth of Indoor Atmospheric Nanocluster Aerosol during the Use of Scented Volatile Chemical Products in Residential Buildings ← you’ll need to scroll down to the table with different cleaning products and air fresheners
Further, the seemingly-harmless scented candle is, as it turns out, quite a menace too:
❝Full-scale emission experiments were conducted in the Purdue zEDGE Test House using a variety of scented candles (n = 5) and wax warmers/melts (n = 14) under different outdoor air exchange rates (AERs). Terpene concentrations were measured in real-time using a proton transfer reaction time-of-flight mass spectrometer (PTR-TOF-MS). PTR-TOF-MS measurements revealed that scented candle and wax warmer/melt products emit a variety of monoterpenes (C10H16) and oxygen-containing monoterpenoids (C10H14O, C10H16O, C10H18O, C10H20O), with peak concentrations in the range of 10−1 to 102 ppb. Monoterpene EFs were much greater for scented wax warmers/melts (C10H16 EFs ∼ 102 mg per g wax consumed) compared to scented candles (C10H16 EFs ∼ 10−1 to 100 mg per g wax consumed). Significant emissions of reactive terpenes from both products, along with nitrogen oxides (NO, NO2) from candles, depleted indoor ozone (O3) concentrations. Terpene iFs were similar between the two products (iFs ∼ 103 ppm) and increased with decreasing outdoor AER. Terpene iFs during concentration decay periods were similar to, or greater than, iFs during active emission periods for outdoor AERs ≤ 3.0 h−1.
Overall, scented wax warmers/melts were found to release greater quantities of monoterpenes compared to other fragranced consumer products used in the home, including botanical disinfectants, hair care products, air fresheners, and scented sprays.❞
Put in fewer words: scented candles are bad, and wax melts (the kind with no flame, that one might easily expect to thus produce fewer emissions) are at least as bad if not worse, and both are even worse than cleaning products.
Some of the same research team conducted further studies, because of this this, finding:
❝We performed field measurements in a residential test house to investigate atmospheric nanoparticle formation from scented wax melt use. We employed a high-resolution particle size magnifier-scanning mobility particle sizer (PSMPS) and a proton transfer reaction time-of-flight mass spectrometer (PTR-TOF-MS) for real-time monitoring of indoor atmospheric nanoparticle size distributions and terpene mixing ratios, respectively.
Our findings reveal that terpenes released from scented wax melts react with indoor atmospheric ozone (O3) to initiate new particle formation (NPF) events, resulting in significant indoor atmospheric nanoparticle concentrations (>106 cm–3) comparable to those emitted by combustion-based scented candles, gas stoves, diesel engines, and natural gas engines.
We show that scented wax melt-initiated NPF events can result in significant respiratory exposures, with nanoparticle respiratory tract deposited dose rates similar to those determined for combustion-based sources.
Our results challenge the perception of scented wax melts as a safer alternative to combustion-based aromatherapy❞
Read in full: Flame-Free Candles Are Not Pollution-Free: Scented Wax Melts as a Significant Source of Atmospheric Nanoparticles
In short: you might want to ditch the fragranced products!
Want to do more?
Give your household hair a makeover with this multi-vector approach to deal with different risks:
What’s Lurking In Your Household Air?
For that matter, the air is a very important factor for the health of your lungs (and thus, for the health of everything that’s fed oxygen by your lungs), and there are more things we can do in that regard as well:
Seven Things To Do For Good Lung Health!
Take care!
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Think Again – by Adam Grant
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Warning: this book may cause some feelings of self-doubt! Ride them out and see where they go, though.
It was Socrates who famously (allegedly) said “ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα”—”I know that I know nothing”.
Adam Grant wants us to take this philosophy and apply it usefully to modern life. How?
The main premise is that rethinking our plans, answers and decisions is a good thing… Not a weakness. In contrast, he says, a fixed mindset closes us to opportunities—and better alternatives.
He wants us to be sure that we don’t fall into the trap of the Dunning-Kruger Effect (overestimating our abilities because of being unaware of how little we know), but he also wants us to rethink whole strategies, too. For example:
Grant’s approach to interpersonal conflict is very remniscent of another book we might review sometime, “Aikido in Everyday Life“. The idea here is to not give in to our knee-jerk responses to simply retaliate in kind, but rather to sidestep, pivot, redirect. This is, admittedly, the kind of “rethinking” that one usually has to rethink in advance—it’s too late in the moment! Hence the value of a book.
Nor is the book unduly subjective. “Wishy-washiness” has a bad rep, but Grant gives us plenty in the way of data and examples of how we can, for example, avoid losses by not doubling down on a mistake.
What, then, of strongly-held core principles? Rethinking doesn’t mean we must change our mind—it simply means being open to the possibility in contexts where such makes sense.
Grant borrows, in effect, from:
❝Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better… do better!❞
So, not so much undercutting the principles we hold dear, and instead rather making sure they stand on firm foundations.
All in all, a thought-provokingly inspiring read!
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Yoga that Helps You on the Loo
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How This Video Helps You Poo
When you’re feeling a bit bloated, Yoga With Bird’s 10-minute yoga routine promises to help you release…your gas. And, perhaps, more.
From a tabletop flow to soothing twists, each pose allows you to sync your breath with movement, helping to promote organic relief.
With options to modify with pillows for extra support, this video (below) caters to everyone needing a digestive reset.
Other Toilet Tricks
If yoga isn’t your thing, or you’re interested in trying to use different methods to make your visits to the bathroom a bit easier, we’ve spoken about the ways to manage gut health, and use of probiotics or fiber, and even the prevention of hemorrhoids.
Namaste and goodbye to bloat!
How was the video? If you’ve discovered any great videos yourself that you’d like to share with fellow 10almonds readers, then please do email them to us!
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