The Joy of Saying No – by Natalie Lue

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Superficially, this seems an odd topic for an entire book. “Just say no”, after all, surely! But it’s not so simple as that, is it?

Lue looks into what underpins people-pleasing, first. Then, she breaks it down into five distinct styles of people-pleasing that each come from slightly different motivations and ways of perceiving how we interact with those around us.

Lest this seem overly complicated, those five styles are what she calls: gooding, efforting, avoiding, saving, suffering.

She then looks out how to have a healthier relationship with our yes/no decisions; first by observing, then by creating healthy boundaries. “Healthy” is key here; this isn’t about being a jerk to everyone! Quite the contrary, it involves being honest about what we can and cannot reasonably take on.

The last section is about improving and troubleshooting this process, and constitutes a lot of the greatest value of the book, since this is where people tend to err the most.

Bottom line: this book is informative, clear, and helpful. And far from disappointing everyone with “no”, we can learn to really de-stress our relationships with others—and ourselves.

Click here to check out The Joy of Saying No, and have more energy for the right “yes” items in your life!

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Recommended

  • Heart Healthy Diet Plan – by Stephen William
  • The Squat Bible – by Dr. Aaron Horschig
    Dr. Aaron Horschig’s “The Squat Bible” is a comprehensive guide to perfecting your squat, addressing common issues and maximizing the benefits of this essential exercise.

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  • Hair-Loss Remedies, By Science

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    10almonds Gets Hairy

    Hair loss is a thing that at some point affects most men and a large minority of women. It can be a source of considerable dysphoria for both, as it’s often seen as a loss of virility/femininity respectively, and is societally stigmatized in various ways.

    Today we’re going to focus on the most common kind: androgenic alopecia, which is called “male pattern baldness” in men and “female pattern baldness” in women, despite being the same thing.

    We won’t spend a lot of time on the science of why this happens (we’re going to focus on the remedies instead), but suffice it to say that genes and hormones both play a role, with dihydrogen testosterone (DHT) being the primary villain in this case.

    We’ve talked before about the science of 5α-reductase inhibitors to block the conversion of regular testosterone* to DHT, its more potent form:

    One Man’s Saw Palmetto Is Another Woman’s Serenoa Repens…

    *We all make this to a greater or lesser degree, unless we have had our ovaries/testes removed.

    Finasteride

    Finasteride is a 5α-reductase inhibitor that performs similarly to saw palmetto, but comes in tiny pills instead of needing to take a much higher dose of supplement (5mg of finasteride is comparable in efficacy to a little over 300mg of saw palmetto).

    Does it work? Yes!

    Any drawbacks? A few:

    • It’ll take 3–6 months to start seeing effects. This is because of the hormonal life-cycle of human hairs.
    • Common side-effects include ED.
    • It is popularly labelled/prescribed as “only for men

    On that latter point: the warnings about this are severe, detailing how women must not take it, must not even touch it if it has been cut up or crushed.

    However… That’s because it can carry a big risk to our unborn fetuses. So, if we are confident we definitely don’t have one of those, it’s not actually applicable to us.

    That said, finasteride’s results in women aren’t nearly so clear-cut as in men (though also, there has been less research, largely because of the above). Here’s an interesting breakdown in more words than we have room for here:

    Finasteride for Women: Everything You Need to Know

    Spironolactone

    This one’s generally prescribed to women, not men, largely because it’s the drug sometimes popularly known as a “chemical castration” drug, which isn’t typically great marketing for men (although it can be applied topically, which will have less of an effect on the rest of the body). For women, this risk is simply not an issue.

    We’ll be brief on this one, but we’ll just drop this, so that you know it’s an option that works:

    Spironolactone is an effective and safe treatment of androgenic alopecia which can enhance the efficacy when combined with other conventional treatments such as minoxidil.

    Topical spironolactone is safer than oral administration and is suitable for both male and female patients, and is expected to become a common drug for those who do not have a good response to minoxidil❞

    Read more: The Efficacy and Safety of Oral and Topical Spironolactone in Androgenetic Alopecia Treatment: A Systematic Review

    Minoxidil

    This one is available (to men and women) without prescription. It’s applied topically, and works by shortcutting the hair’s hormonal growth cycle, to reduce the resting phase and kick it into a growth phase.

    Does it work? Yes!

    Any drawbacks? A few:

    • Whereas you’ll remember finasteride takes 3–6 months to see any effect, this one will have an effect very quickly
      • Specifically, the immediate effect is: your rate of hair loss will appear to dramatically speed up
      • This happens because when hairs are kicked into their growth phase if they were in a resting phase, the first part of that growth phase is to shed each old hair to make room for the new one
    • You’ll then need the same 3–6 months as with finasteride, to see the regrowth effects
    • If you stop using it, you will immediately shed whatever hair you gained by this method

    Why do people choose this over finasteride? For one of three reasons, mainly:

    • They are women, and not offered finasteride
    • They are men, and do not want the side effects of finasteride
    • They just saw an ad and tried it

    As to how it works:

    Minoxidil upregulates the expression of vascular endothelial growth factor in human hair dermal papilla cells

    Some final notes:

    There are some other contraindications and warnings with each of these drugs by the way, so do speak with your doctor/pharmacist. For example:

    There are other hair loss remedies and practices, but the above three are the heavy-hitters, so that’s what we spent our time/space on today. We’ll perhaps cover the less powerful (but less risky) options one of these days.

    Meanwhile, take care!

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  • 6 Signs Of A Heart Attack… A Month In Advance

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    Many people know the signs of a heart attack when it’s happening, but how about before it’s too late to avoid it?

    The signs

    • Unusual fatigue: persistent tiredness that doesn’t improve with rest
    • Shortness of breath: unexplained breathlessness during light activities or rest, which can be caused by fluid buildup in the lungs (because the heart isn’t circulating blood as well as it should)
    • Chest discomfort: pain, pressure, tightness, or aching in the chest due to reduced blood flow to the heart muscle—often occurring during physical exertion or emotional stress
    • Frequent indigestion: means that heartburn could be heart-related! This is about persistently reoccurring discomfort or pain in the upper abdomen
    • Sleep disturbances: difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up abruptly
    • Excessive sweating: unexplained cold sweats or sudden sweating without physical exertion or excessive heat, can be a response to the decreased oxygen levels caused by less efficient blood flow

    Note: this is a list of warning signs, not a diagnostic tool. Any or even all of these could be caused by something else. Just, don’t ignore the signs and do get yourself checked out.

    For more details on each of these, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Take care!

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  • Intuitive Eating Might Not Be What You Think

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    In our recent Expert Insights main features, we’ve looked at two fairly opposing schools of thought when it comes to managing what we eat.

    First we looked at:

    What Flexible Dieting Really Means

    …and the notion of doing things imperfectly for greater sustainability, and reducing the cognitive load of dieting by measuring only the things that are necessary.

    And then in opposition to that,

    What Are The “Bright Lines” Of Bright Line Eating?

    …and the notion of doing things perfectly so as to not go astray, and reducing the cognitive load of dieting by having hard-and-fast rules that one does not second-guess or reconsider later when hungry.

    Today we’re going to look at Intuitive Eating, and what it does and doesn’t mean.

    Intuitive Eating does mean paying attention to hunger signals (each way)

    Intuitive Eating means listening to one’s body, and responding to hunger signals, whether those signals are saying “time to eat” or “time to stop”.

    A common recommendation is to “check in” with one’s body several times per meal, reflecting on such questions as:

    • Do I have hunger pangs? Would I seek food now if I weren’t already at the table?
    • If I hadn’t made more food than I’ve already eaten so far, would that have been enough, or would I have to look for something else to eat?
    • Am I craving any of the foods that are still before me? Which one(s)?
    • How much “room” do I feel I still have, really? Am I still in the comfort zone, and/or am I about to pass into having overeaten?
    • Am I eating for pleasure only at this point? (This is not inherently bad, by the way—it’s ok to have a little more just for pleasure! But it is good to note that this is the reason we’re eating, and take it as a cue to slow down and remember to eat mindfully, and enjoy every bite)
    • Have I, in fact, passed the point of pleasure, and I’m just eating because it’s in front of me, or so as to “not be wasteful”?

    See also: Interoception: Improving Our Awareness Of Body Cues

    And for that matter: Mindful Eating: How To Get More Out Of What’s On Your Plate

    Intuitive Eating is not “80:20”

    When it comes to food, the 80:20 rule is the idea of having 80% of one’s diet healthy, and the other 20% “free”, not necessarily unhealthy, but certainly not moderated either.

    Do you know what else the 80:20 food rule is?

    A food rule.

    Intuitive Eating doesn’t do those.

    The problem with food rules is that they can get us into the sorts of problems described in the studies showing how flexible dieting generally works better than rigid dieting.

    Suddenly, what should have been our free-eating 20% becomes “wait, is this still 20%, or have I now eaten so much compared to the healthy food, that I’m at 110% for my overall food consumption today?”

    Then one gets into “Well, I’ve already failed to do 80:20 today, so I’ll try again tomorrow [and binge meanwhile, since today is already written off]”

    See also: Eating Disorders: More Varied (And Prevalent) Than People Think

    It’s not “eat anything, anytime”, either

    Intuitive Eating is about listening to your body, and your brain is also part of your body.

    • If your body is saying “give me sugar”, your brain might add the information “fruit is healthier than candy”.
    • If your body is saying “give me fat”, your brain might add the information “nuts are healthier than fried food”
    • If your body is saying “give me salt”, your brain might add the information “kimchi is healthier than potato chips”

    That doesn’t mean you have to swear off candy, fried food, or potato chips.

    But it does mean that you might try satisfying your craving with the healthier option first, giving yourself permission to have the less healthy option afterwards if you still want it (you probably won’t).

    See also:

    I want to eat healthily. So why do I crave sugar, salt and carbs?

    Want to know more about Intuitive Eating?

    You might like this book that we reviewed previously:

    Intuitive Eating – by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

    Enjoy!

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Related Posts

  • Heart Healthy Diet Plan – by Stephen William
  • Hero Homemade Hummus

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    If you only have store-bought hummus at home, you’re missing out. The good news is that hummus is very easy to make, and highly customizable—so once you know how to make one, you can make them all, pretty much. And of course, it’s one of the healthiest dips out there!

    You will need

    • 2 x 140z/400g tins chickpeas
    • 4 heaped tbsp tahini
    • 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
    • Juice of 1 lemon
    • 1 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
    • Optional, but recommended: your preferred toppings/flavorings. Examples to get you started include olives, tomatoes, garlic, red peppers, red onion, chili, cumin, paprika (please do not put everything in one hummus; if unsure about pairings, select just one optional ingredient per hummus for now)

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Drain the chickpeas, but keep the chickpea water from them (also called aquafaba; it has many culinary uses beyond the scope of today’s recipe, but for now, just keep it to one side).

    2) Add the chickpeas, ⅔ of the aquafaba, the tahini, the olive oil, the lemon juice, the black pepper, and any optional extra flavoring(s) that you don’t want to remain chunky. Blend until smooth; if it becomes to thick, add a little more aquafaba and blend again until it’s how you want it.

    3) Transfer the hummus to a bowl, and add any extra toppings.

    4) Repeat the above steps for each different kind of hummus you want to make.

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • Nine Pints – by Rose George

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Rose George is not a scientist, but an investigative journalist. As such, she’s a leave-no-stone-unturned researcher, and that shows here.

    The style throughout is, as one might expect, journalistic. But, she’s unafraid of diving into the science of it, interviewing many medical professionals as part of her work. She also looks to people living with various blood-related conditions, ranging from hemophilia to HIV.

    Speakling of highly-stigmatized yet very manageable conditions, there’s also a fair section devoted to menstruation, menstrual blood, and societies’ responses to such, from shunning to active support.

    We also learn about the industrialization of blood—from blood banks to plasma labs to leech farms. You probably knew leeches are still used as a medical tool in even the most high-tech of hospitals, but you’ll doubtlessly learn a fascinating thing or two from the “insider views” along the way.

    Bottom line: if you’d like to know more about the red stuff in all its marvelous aspects, with neither sensationalization nor sanitization (the topic needs neither!), this is the book for you.

    Click here to check out Nine Pints, and learn more about yours!

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  • Putting a Halt to Feeling Lost, Anxious, Stressed & Unhappy

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Starting From the Middle

    Today’s video (below) dives straight into the heart of the issue, examining the victim mindset, with Dr. Gabor Maté immediately, and quite vulnerably, sharing his personal experiences conquering feelings of despair and anxiety.

    As one of the comments on the video says, Dr. Maté is a “person who teaches about something because they experience it themselves”. And it shows through his approach.

    With raw honesty, Dr. Maté empathizes with those grappling with inner turmoil, offering hope by emphasizing the power of healing in the present moment.

    What is His Method?

    Explained simply, Dr. Maté urges individuals to seek trauma-informed care and therapies that address underlying wounds; he emphasizes the pitfalls of relying solely on medication, and instead highlights the idea that triggers can be seen as opportunities for self-reflection and growth. He urges individuals to approach their triggers with compassionate curiosity rather than self-judgment.

    In short, Dr Maté’s empathetic approach immediately calms the viewer, whilst providing knowledge crucial to self-improvement.

    Let this video act as a reminder that we should take our mental health as seriously as our general health.

    How was the video? If you’ve discovered any great videos yourself that you’d like to share with fellow 10almonds readers, then please do email them to us!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

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