Dealing With Overwhelm

Whether we live a hectic life in general, or we usually casually take each day as it comes but sometimes several days gang up on us at once, everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes.

Today we’re going to look at how to deal with it healthily.

Step 1: Start anywhere

It’s easy to get stuck in “analysis paralysis” and not know how to tackle an unexpected large problem. An (unhealthy) alternative is to try to tackle everything at once, and end up doing nothing very well.

Even the most expert juggler will not successfully juggle 10 random things thrown unexpectedly at them.

So instead, just pick any part of the the mountain of to-dos, and start.

If you do want a little more finesse though, check out:

Procrastination, And How To Pay Off The To-Do List Debt

Step 2: Accept what you’re capable of

This one works both ways. It means being aware of your limitations yes, but also, of your actual abilities:

• Is the task ahead of you really beyond what you are capable of?
• Could you do it right now without hesitation if a loved one’s life depended on it?
• Could you do it, but there’s a price to pay (e.g. you can do it but it’ll wipe you out in some other life area)?

Work out what’s possible and acceptable to you, and make a decision. And remember, it could be that someone else could do it, but everyone has taken the “if you want something doing, give it to someone busy” approach. It’s flattering that people have such confidence in our competence, but it is also necessary to say “no” sometimes, or at least enlisting help.

Step 3: Listen to your body

…like a leader listening to an advisory council. Your perception of tiredness, pain, weakness, and all your emotions are simply messengers. Listen to the message! And then say “thank you for the information”, and proceed accordingly.

Sometimes that will be in the way the messengers seem to be hoping for!

Sometimes, however, maybe we (blessed with a weighty brain and not entirely a slave to our limbic system) know better, and know when it’s right to push through instead.

Similarly, that voice in your head? You get to decide where it goes and doesn’t. On which note…

Step 4: Be responsive, not reactive

We wrote previously on the difference between these:

A Bone To Pick… Up And Then Put Back Where We Found It

Measured responses will always be better than knee-jerk reactions, unless it is literally a case of a split-second making a difference. 99% of our problems in life are not so; usually the problem will still be there unchanged after a moment’s mindful consideration, so invest in that moment.

You’ve probably heard the saying “give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I’ll spend the first four sharpening the axe”. In this case, that can be your mind. Here’s a good starting point:

No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness

And if your mental state is already worse than that, mind racing with threats (real or perceived) and doom-laden scenarios, here’s how to get out of that negative spiral first, so that you can apply the rest of this:

The Off-Button For Your Brain

Do remember to turn it on again afterwards, though

Step 5: Transcend discomfort

This is partly a callback to step 3, but it’s now coming from a place of a clear ready mind, so the territory should be looking quite different now. Nevertheless, it’s entirely possible that your clear view shows discomfort ahead.

You’re going to make a conscious decision whether or not to proceed through the discomfort (and if you’re not, then now’s the time to start calmly and measuredly looking at alternative plans; delegating, ditching, etc).

If you are going to proceed through discomfort, then it can help to frame the discomfort as simply a neutral part of the path to getting where you want. Maybe you’re going to be going way out of your comfort zone in order to deal with something, and if that’s the case, make your peace with it now, in advance.

“Certainly it hurts” / “Well, what’s the trick then?” / “The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts”

(lines from a famous scene from the 1962 movie Lawrence of Arabia)

It’s ok to say to yourself (if it’s what you decide is the right thing to do) “Yep, this experience is going to suck terribly, but I’m going to do it anyway”.

See also (this being about Radical Acceptance):

What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

Take care!