When You “Can’t Complain”

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A Bone To Pick… Up And Then Put Back Where We Found It

In today’s Psychology Sunday feature, we’re going to be flipping the narrative on gratitude, by tackling it from the other end.

We have, by the way, written previously about gratitude, and what mistakes to avoid, in one of our pieces on positive psychology:

How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

“Can’t complain”

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and come on, who doesn’t like a challenge?) is to go 21 days without complaining (to anyone, including yourself, about anything). If you break your streak, that’s ok, just start again!

Why?

Complaining is (unsurprisingly) inversely correlated with happiness, in a self-perpetuating cycle:

Pet Peeves and Happiness: How Do Happy People Complain?

And if a stronger motivation is required, there’s a considerable inverse correlation between all-cause happiness and all-cause mortality, even when potential confounding factors (e.g., chronic health conditions, socioeconomic status, etc) are controlled for, and especially as we get older:

Investing in Happiness: The Gerontological Perspective

How?

You may have already formulated some objections by this point, for example:

  • Am I supposed to tell my doctor/therapist “I’m fine thanks; how are you?”
  • Some things are worthy of complaint; should I be silent?

But both of these issues (communication, and righteousness) have answers:

On communication:

There is a difference between complaining, and giving the necessary information in answer to a question—or even volunteering such information.

For example, when our site went down yesterday, some of you wrote to us to let us know the links weren’t working. There is a substantive difference (semantic, ontological, and teleological) between:

  • The content was great but the links in “you may have missed” did not work.❞ ← a genuine piece of feedback we received (thank you!)
  • Wasted my time, couldn’t read your articles! Unsubscribing, and I hope your socks get wet tomorrow! ← nobody said this; our subscribers are lovely (thank you)
  • Note that the former wasn’t a complaint, it was genuinely helpful feedback, without which we might not have noticed the problem and fixed it.
  • The latter was a complaint, and also (like many complaints) didn’t even address the actual problem usefully.

What makes it a complaint or not is not the information conveyed, but the tone and intention. So for example:

“You’ve only done half the job I asked you to!” → “Thank you for doing the first half of this job, could you please do the other half now?”

Writer’s anecdote: my washing machine needs a part replaced; the part was ordered two weeks ago and I was told it would take a week to arrive. It’s been two weeks, so tomorrow I will not complain, but I will politely ask whether they have any information about the delay, and a new estimated time of arrival. Because you know what? Whatever the delay is, complaining won’t make it arrive last week!

On righteousness:

Indeed, some things are very worthy of complaint. But are you able to effect a solution by complaining? If not, then it’s just hot air. And venting isn’t without its own merits (we touched on the benefits of emotional catharsis recently), but that should be a mindful choice when you choose to do that, not a matter of reactivity.

Complaining is a subset of criticizing, and criticizing can be done without the feeling and intent of complaining. However, it too should definitely be measured and considered, responsive, not reactive. This itself could be the topic for another main feature, but for now, here’s a Psychology Today article that at least explains the distinction in more words than we have room for here:

React vs Respond: What’s the difference?

This, by the way, also goes the same for engaging in social and political discourse. It’s easy to get angry and reactive, but it’s good to take a moment to pick your battles, and by all means fight for what you believe in, and/but also do so responsively rather than reactively.

Not only will your health thank you, but you’re also more likely to “win friends and influence people” and all that!

What gets measured, gets done

Find a way of tracking your streak. There are apps for that, like this one, or you could find a low-tech method you prefer.

Bonus tip: if you do mess up and complain, and you realize as you’re doing it, take a moment to take a breath and correct yourself in the moment.

Take care!

Don’t Forget…

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  • Flossing Without Flossing?

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    Flossing Without Flossing?

    You almost certainly brush your teeth. You might use mouthwash. A lot of people floss for three weeks at a time, often in January.

    There are a lot of options for oral hygiene; variations of the above, and many alternatives too. This is a big topic, so rather than try to squeeze it all in one, this will be a several-part series.

    The first part was: Toothpastes & Mouthwashes: Which Help And Which Harm?

    How important is flossing?

    Interdental cleaning is indeed pretty important, even though it may not have the heart health benefits that have been widely advertised:

    Periodontal Disease and Atherosclerotic Vascular Disease: Does the Evidence Support an Independent Association?

    However! The health of our gums is very important in and of itself, especially as we get older:

    Flossing Is Associated with Improved Oral Health in Older Adults

    But! It helps to avoid periodontal (e.g. gum) disease, not dental caries:

    Flossing for the management of periodontal diseases and dental caries in adults

    And! Most certainly it can help avoid a stack of other diseases:

    Interdental Cleaning Is Associated with Decreased Oral Disease Prevalence

    …so in short, if you’d like to have happy healthy teeth and gums, flossing is an important adjunct, and/but not a one-stop panacea.

    Is it better to floss before or after brushing?

    As you prefer. A team of scientists led by Dr. Claudia Silva studied this, and found that there was “no statistical difference between brush-floss and floss-brush”:

    Does flossing before or after brushing influence the reduction in the plaque index? A systematic review and meta-analysis

    Flossing is tedious. How do we floss without flossing?

    This is (mostly) about water-flossing! Which does for old-style floss what sonic toothbrushes to for old-style manual toothbrushes.

    If you’re unfamiliar, it means using a device that basically power-washes your teeth, but with a very narrow high-pressure jet of water.

    Do they work? Yes:

    Effects of interdental cleaning devices in preventing dental caries and periodontal diseases: a scoping review

    As for how it stacks up against traditional flossing, Liang et al. found:

    ❝In our previous single-outcome analysis, we concluded that interdental brushes and water jet devices rank highest for reducing gingival inflammation while toothpick and flossing rank last.

    In this multioutcome Bayesian network meta-analysis with equal weight on gingival inflammation and bleeding-on-probing, the surface under the cumulative ranking curve was 0.87 for water jet devices and 0.85 for interdental brushes.

    Water jet devices and interdental brushes remained the two best devices across different sets of weightings for the gingival inflammation and bleeding-on-probing.

    ~ Journal of Evidence-Based Dental Practice

    You may be wondering how safe it is if you have had dental work done, and, it appears to be quite safe, for example:

    BDJ | Water-jet flossing: effect on composites

    Want to try water-flossing?

    Here are some examples on Amazon:

    Bonus: if you haven’t tried interdental brushes, here’s an example for that

    Enjoy!

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  • Strawberries vs Cherries – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing strawberries to cherries, we picked the cherries.

    Why?

    It was close, and certainly both are great!

    When it comes to vitamins and minerals, each fruit has its strengths (and both are excellent sources of vitamins and minerals), but on balance, strawberry comes out a little higher—especially for vitamin C, as a cup of strawberries can provide the daily recommended amount already.

    In terms of macros, strawberries have less sugar, but this isn’t really a big deal when it comes to fruit, as the fiber content and polyphenols more than offset any negative effects.

    Speaking of which, the fiber content is comparable for each fruit, and both contain a lot of antioxidants.

    What swings it into cherries’ favor is cherries’ slew of specific phytochemical benefits, including cherry-specific anti-inflammatory properties, sleep-improving abilities, and post-exercise recovery boosts, as well as anti-diabetic benefits above and beyond the normal “this is a fruit” level.

    In short, both are very respectable fruits, but cherries have some qualities that are just special, and that we feel outweigh the “has more vitamin C” of strawberries.

    We’ll do a main feature on cherries’ medicinal properties sometime soon, but in the meantime, if you’d like to try a tart cherry supplement, here’s an example product on Amazon

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  • The Meds That Impair Decision-Making

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Impairment to cognitive function is often comorbid with Parkinson’s disease. That is to say: it’s not a symptom of Parkinson’s, but it often occurs in the same people. This may seem natural: after all, both are strongly associated with aging.

    However, recent (last month, at time of writing) research has brought to light a very specific way in which medication for Parkinson’s may impair the ability to make sound decisions.

    Obviously, this is a big deal, because it can affect healthcare decisions, financial decisions, and more—greatly impacting quality of life.

    See also: Age-related differences in financial decision-making and social influence

    (in which older people were found more likely to be influenced by the impulsive financial preferences of others than their younger counterparts, when other factors are controlled for)

    As for how this pans out when it comes to Parkinson’s meds…

    Pramipexole (PPX)

    This drug can, due to an overlap in molecular shape, mimic dopamine in the brains of people who don’t have enough—such as those with Parkinson’s disease. This (as you might expect) helps alleviate Parkinson’s symptoms.

    However, researchers found that mice treated with PPX and given a touch-screen based gambling game picked the high-risk, high reward option much more often. In the hopes of winning strawberry milkshake (the reward), they got themselves subjected to a lot of blindingly-bright flashing lights (the risk, to which untreated mice were much more averse, as this is very stressful for a mouse).

    You may be wondering: did the mice have Parkinson’s?

    The answer: kind of; they had been subjected to injections with 6-hydroxydopamine, which damages dopamine-producing neurons similarly to Parkinson’s.

    This result was somewhat surprising, because one would expect that a mouse whose depleted dopamine was being mimicked by a stand-in (thus, doing much of the job of dopamine) would be less swayed by the allure of gambling (a high-dopamine activity), since gambling is typically most attractive to those who are desperate to find a crumb of dopamine somewhere.

    They did find out why this happened, by the way, the PPX hyperactivated the external globus pallidus (also called GPe, and notwithstanding the name, this is located deep inside the brain). Chemically inhibiting this area of the brain reduced the risk-taking activity of the mice.

    This has important implications for Parkinson’s patients, because:

    • on an individual level, it means this is a side effect of PPX to be aware of
    • on a research-and-development level, it means drugs need to be developed that specifically target the GPe, to avoid/mitigate this side effect.

    You can read the study in full here:

    Pramipexole Hyperactivates the External Globus Pallidus and Impairs Decision-Making in a Mouse Model of Parkinson’s Disease

    Don’t want to get Parkinson’s in the first place?

    While nothing is a magic bullet, there are things that can greatly increase or decrease Parkinson’s risk. Here’s a big one, as found recently (last week, at the time of writing):

    Air Pollution and Parkinson’s Disease in a Population-Based Study

    Also: knowing about its onset sooner rather than later is scary, but beneficial. So, with that in mind…

    Recognize The Early Symptoms Of Parkinson’s Disease

    Finally, because Parkinson’s disease is theorized to be caused by a dysfunction of alpha-synuclein clearance (much like the dysfunction of beta-amyloid clearance, in the case of Alzheimer’s disease), this means that having a healthy glymphatic system (glial cells doing the same clean-up job as the lymphatic system, but in the brain) is critical:

    How To Clean Your Brain (Glymphatic Health Primer)

    Take care!

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Related Posts

  • The Art of Being Unflappable (Tricks For Daily Life)
  • Olfactory Training, Better

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Anosmia, by any other name…

    The loss of the sense of smell (anosmia) is these days well-associated with COVID and Long-COVID, but also can simply come with age:

    National Institute of Aging | How Smell & Taste Change With Age

    …although it can also be something else entirely:

    ❝Another possibility is a problem with part of the nervous system responsible for smell.

    Some studies have suggested that loss of smell could be an early sign of a neurodegenerative disease, such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease.

    However, a recent study of 1,430 people (average age about 80) showed that 76% of people with anosmia had normal cognitive function at the study’s end.❞

    Read more: Harvard Health | Is it normal to lose my sense of smell as I age?

    We’d love to look at and cite the paper that they cite, but they didn’t actually provide a source. We did find some others, though:

    ❝Olfactory capacity declines with aging, but increasing evidence shows that smell dysfunction is one of the early signs of prodromal neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

    The loss of smell is considered a clinical sign of early-stage disease and a marker of the disease’s progression and cognitive impairment.❞

    ~ Dr. Irene Fatuzzo et al.

    Read more: Neurons, Nose, and Neurodegenerative Diseases: Olfactory Function and Cognitive Impairment

    What’s clear is the association; what’s not clear is whether one worsens the other, and what causal role each might play. However, the researchers conclude that both ways are possible, including when there is another, third, underlying potential causal factor:

    ❝Ongoing studies on COVID-19 anosmia could reveal new molecular aspects unexplored in olfactory impairments due to neurodegenerative diseases, shedding a light on the validity of smell test predictivity of cognitive dementia.

    The neuroepithelium might become a new translational research target (Neurons, Nose, and Neurodegenerative diseases) to investigate alternative approaches for intranasal therapy and the treatment of brain disorders. ❞

    ~ Ibid.

    Another study explored the possible mechanisms of action, and found…

    ❝Olfactory impairment was significantly associated with increased likelihoods of MCI, amnestic MCI, and non-amnestic MCI.

    In the subsamples, anosmia was significantly associated with higher plasma total tau and NfL concentrations, smaller hippocampal and entorhinal cortex volumes, and greater WMH volume, and marginally with lower AD-signature cortical thickness.

    These results suggest that cerebral neurodegenerative and microvascular lesions are common neuropathologies linking anosmia with MCI in older adults❞

    ~ Dr. Yi Dong et al.

    • MCI = Mild Cognitive Impairment
    • NfL = Neurofilament Light [Chain]
    • WMH = White Matter Hyperintensity
    • AD =Alzheimer’s Disease

    Read more: Anosmia, mild cognitive impairment, and biomarkers of brain aging in older adults

    How to act on this information

    You may be wondering, “this is fascinating and maybe even a little bit frightening, but how is this Saturday’s Life Hacks?”

    We wanted to set up the “why” before getting to the “how”, because with a big enough “why”, it’s much easier to find the motivation to act on the “how”.

    Test yourself

    Or more conveniently, you and a partner/friend/relative can test each other.

    Simply do like a “blind taste testing”, but for smell. Ideally these will be a range of simple and complex odors, and commercially available smell test kits will provide these, if you don’t want to make do with random items from your kitchen.

    If you’d like to use a clinical diagnostic tool, you can check out:

    Clinical assessment of patients with smell and taste disorders

    …and especially, this really handy diagnostic flowchart:

    Algorithm of evaluation of a patient who has olfactory loss

    Train yourself

    “Olfactory training” has been the got-to for helping people to regain their sense of smell after losing it due to COVID.

    In simple terms, this means simply trying to smell things that “should” have a distinctive odor, and gradually working up one’s repertoire of what one can smell.

    You can get some great tips here:

    AbScent | Useful Insights Into Smell Training

    Hack your training

    An extra trick was researched deeply in a recent study which found that multisensory integration helped a) initially regain the ability to smell things and b) maintain that ability later without the cross-sensory input.

    What that means: you will more likely be able to smell lemon while viewing the color yellow, and most likely of all to be able to smell lemon while actually holding and looking at a slice of lemon. Having done this, you’re more likely to be able to smell (and distinguish) the odor of lemon later in a blind smell test.

    In other words: with this method, you may be able to cut out many months of frustration of trying and failing to smell something, and skip straight to the “re-adding specific smells to my brain’s olfactory database” bit.

    Read the study: Olfactory training: effects of multisensory integration, attention towards odors and physical activity

    Or if you prefer, here’s a pop-science article based on that:

    One in twenty people has no sense of smell—here’s how they might get it back

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • If You’re Not Flexible, These Are The Only 3 Stretches You Need, To Fix That

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    If you can’t put your leg behind your head while standing, try doing the splits against a wall first, and progress from there! ← text version of an item from a “if you can’t do this yet, try this first” picture set this writer saw on Instagram once upon a time

    So, what if you’re more at the point of not quite being able to touch your toes yet?

    From zero to…

    Liv, of LivInLeggings fame, has these three starter-stretches that are actually starter-stretches:

    Stretch 1: Reverse Tabletop with Foot Tuck Variation

    1. Sit on the floor, feet slightly wider than your hips, lean back onto your hands (fingertips pointing outward).
    2. Lift your hips towards a reverse tabletop, engage your glutes, and flatten the front of your hips.
    3. Add a foot tuck variation by stepping one foot back and pressing your weight forward.

    Benefits:

    • Stretches multiple muscles, including the soles of the feet.
    • Improves foot arches, balance, and stability.
    • Loosens fascia, enhancing flexibility in subsequent stretches.

    Stretch 2: Squat to Forward Fold

    1. Start in a low squat (feet wider than your hips, toes mostly forward).
    2. Alternate between a low squat and a forward fold, keeping your hands on the floor or your toes.

    Benefits:

    • Stretches hamstrings, glutes, and lower back.
    • Maintains good form and avoids overstraining.

    Stretch 3: Side Lunge with Side Body Reach

    1. Begin in a tall kneeling position, step one foot out to the side (toes pointing outward).
    2. Lunge your hips towards your front ankle, keeping your tailbone tucked.
    3. Add a side body reach by resting your forearm on your thigh and reaching the other arm overhead.
    4. For a deeper stretch, cradle the back of your head with your hand, pressing lightly for a tricep stretch.

    Benefits:

    • Stretches inner thighs, lats, and triceps.
    • Improves posture, shoulder mobility, and low squat ability.

    For more on each of these plus visual demonstrations, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Test For Whether You Will Be Able To Achieve The Splits

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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  • Undo It! – by Dr. Dean Ornish & Anne Ornish

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    Of course, no lifestyle changes will magically undo Type 1 Diabetes or Cerebral Palsy.But for many chronic diseases, a lot can be done. The question is,how does one book cover them all?

    As authors Dr. Dean Ornish and Anne Ornish explain, very many chronic diseases are exacerbated, or outright caused, by the same factors:

    • Gene expression
    • Inflammation
    • Oxidative stress

    This goes for chronic disease from heart disease to type 2 diabetes to cancer and many autoimmune diseases.

    We cannot change our genes, but we can change our gene expression (the authors explain how). And certainly, we can control inflammation and oxidative stress.

    Then first part of the book is given over to dietary considerations. If you’re a regular 10almonds reader, you won’t be too surprised at their recommendations, but you may enjoy the 70 recipes offered.

    Attention is also given to exercising in ways optimized to beat chronic disease, and to other lifestyle factors.

    Limiting stress is important, but the authors go further when it comes to psychological and sociological factors. Specifically, what matters most to health, when it comes to intimacy and community.

    Bottom line: this is a very good guide to a comprehensive lifestyle overhaul, especially if something recently has given you cause to think “oh wow, I should really do more to avoid xyz disease”.

    Click here to check out Undo It, and better yet, prevent it in advance!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: