The Joy Of Missing Out

What this is not going to be: a sour grapes thing.

What this is going to be: an exploration of how the grass is greener on the other side of the fence wherever you water it

It’s easy to feel lonely and isolated, even in today’s increasingly-connected world. We’ve tackled that topic before:

How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

One of the more passive (but still reasonable) ways of reducing isolation is to simply say “yes” more, which we discussed (along with other more active strategies) here:

When The World Moves Without Us… Can We Side-Step Age-Related Alienation?

But, is there any benefit to be gained from not being in the thick of things?

Sometimes some things associated with isolation are not, in reality, necessarily isolating. See for example:

Singledom & Healthy Longevity

But, the implications of embracing the “joy of missing out” are much more wide-reaching:

Wherever you are, there you are

You’ve probably read before the phrase “wherever you go, there you are”, but this phrasing brings attention to the fact that you already are where you are.

There are quite possibly aspects of your current life/situation that are not ideal, but take a moment to appreciate where you are in life. At the very least, you are probably in a safe warm dry house with plenty of food available; chances are you have plenty of luxuries too.

See also: How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

And yet, it’s easy to have a fear of missing out. Even billionaires fear they do not have enough and must acquire more in order to be truly secure and fulfilled.

As it goes for material wealth, so it also goes for social wealth—in other words, we may worry about such questions as: on whom can we rely, and who will be there for us if we need them? Do we, ultimately, have enough social capital to be secure?

• For social media influencers, it’ll be follower counts and engagement.
• For the family-oriented, it might be the question of whose house a given holiday gets celebrated at, and who attends, and who does it best.
• In more somber matters, think about funerals, and those where “there was such a huge turnout” vs “almost nobody attended”.

It sure sounds a lot like a dog-eat-dog world in which missing out sucks! But it doesn’t have to.

So let’s recap: your current situation is probably, all things considered, not bad. There is probably much in life to enjoy. If people do not come to your holiday event, then those are not people who would have improved things for you. If people do not attend your funeral even, then well, you yourself will be late, so hey.

Right now though, you are alive, so…

Enjoy the moment; enjoy your life for you.

Invest in yourself. Better yourself. Improve your environment for yourself little by little.

We spend a lot of time in life living up to everyone’s expectations, often without stopping to question whether it is what we want, or sometimes putting aside what we want in favor of what is wanted of us.

• Sometimes, such ostensible altruism is laudable and good (the point of today’s article is not “be a selfish jerk”; sometimes we should indeed shelve our self-interest in favour of doing something for the common good)
• Sometimes, it’s just pointless sacrifice that benefits nobody (the point of today’s article is “there is no point in playing stressful, stacked games when you could have a better time not doing that”)

If you are about to embark on an endeavor that you don’t really want to, take a moment to seriously consider which of the above two situations this is, and then act accordingly.

For a deeper dive into that, you might like this book that we reviewed a while back:

The Joy of Saying No – by Natalie Lue

Enjoy!