Human Connection In An All-Too-Busy World
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Many of us, in many ways, have more discretionary time than ever… On paper.
But rather than the 8-hour block of work of yesteryear, nowadays the things that take our time often come in a series of short bursts that punctuate our day.
This means that while in theory, we have n hours of “free” time per day, we actually have 9 minutes here, 23 minutes there, 1 hour 6 minutes somewhere else, and so on.
Social commitments, meanwhile, tend to require not only that we have time in a block, but also, that the time around that block also be sufficiently free, for travelling, preparation, etc.
The result? “We must do this again, and not leave it so long next time!” we say, sincerely, to the friend whom we will next see again in approximately 17 months’ time.
The problem is how our many theoretically-small obligations reduce the rest of our time to “time confetti”, and that happens on the large scale like we saw above, as well as on the small scale of “Ah, I have an hour to relax between these two things” and then suddenly the time is gone, once again reduced to time confetti:
Time Confetti and the Broken Promise of Leisure
So, how to maintain human connection with people beyond those with whom we live?
Some is infinitely better than none
Let’s say you want to call a friend or relative. There may be generational differences in how much one is expected to arrange this by text first, vs just calling, but either way, you don’t have to have an open-ended block of time, and sometimes, it’s better if you don’t.
Establish, at the start of the call, “Before we get into catching up, how are we for time, by the way? For my part, I’ll have to go by such-and-such a time”, and then work with that.
The benefit of doing this is that you’ll both know enough about the time constraints to use the time appropriately; you won’t run out the clock on smalltalk before getting to something big, and you’ll both come away feeling satisfied that you shared and were shared-with in a meaningful fashion.
In contrast, guessing at time constraints can leave big things clipped off, or else result in someone “looking for a way to politely end this conversation that stopped being interesting a while ago but it’ll seem rude if I say I have to go now”, of the kind that results in someone not being so open to a call next time.
Don’t rush to dismiss texts as a medium for meaningful connection
When text messages were first a thing, you’ll remember how we were all working within a very short character limit and a cost-per-message. It was telegrams for the modern age, basically.
Nowadays, that isn’t so; we can write as much or as little as we like, and this has two benefits:
- We can have longer, meaningful conversations around the other stuff in our life. We can reply in seconds, or after making a cup of tea and thinking about it, or after our grocery-chopping trip, or whenever suits us. Suddenly, time confetti isn’t such a barrier to human connection. Writer’s example: my prime social time in this manner is when I’m cooking dinner (which is often about an hour). There’s no way I could have a phonecall while doing that; my bad hearing notwithstanding, I just have my hands full too often with much else going on. But texting? I can do that in the several-minute gaps between assorted culinary tasks, while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or the onions to brown or whatever.
- Sometimes, the brevity makes it easier. A quick text saying “Hey, just to let you know I’m thinking of you, and hope your day is going well!”, or “Unrelated to anything: I was just thinking about how I’m glad to have you in my life; you’re a good friend, and I appreciate that more than I often remember to say. Anyway, that’s all; it was just on my mind. I hope your day is going well!”
(The cheery closing words in those last two text message examples help signify: “don’t worry, I’m fine and am not looking for anything from you”, which will help the recipient to relax, and counterintuitively, more likely to reply with some kind words of their own, knowing that they’re not signing up for a potentially deep talk when they also have time confetti issues going on)
Seize the moment (and also let it go)
You probably have many small interactions with strangers, most days. In the store, walking the dog, at the doctor’s office, etc. So, two things:
- Make smalltalk. And if you’re not one for traditional smalltalk topics (weather etc), or even if you are, a level-up is:
- Compliment sincerely. Straight out of “How To Win Friends And Influence People”, of course, but it creates a moment of genuine connection; you say a thing, their day is improved, they smile, you complete your business with a smile of your own and go about your day.
(of course, do steer clear of anything that could be interpreted as flirting, if that is not your intent, and really it should never be your intent when it comes to the captive audience of someone who will get fired if they’re not nice to you)
But, with a little practice, these little moments add up to a lot more human connection than if we treat the strangers with whom we interact as though they were merely part of the scenery.
Want more than that?
Check out:
How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation
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Tahini vs Hummus – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing tahini to hummus, we picked the tahini.
Why?
Both are great! But tahini is so nutritionally dense, that it makes even the wonder food that is hummus look bad next to it.
In terms of macros, tahini is higher in everything except water. So, higher in protein, carbs, fats, and fiber. In terms of those fats, the fat breakdown is similar for both, being mostly polyunsaturated and monounsaturated, with a small percentage of saturated. Tahini has the lower glycemic index, but both are so low that it makes no practical difference.
In terms of vitamins, tahini has more of vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B9, E, and choline, while hummus is higher in vitamin B6.
This is a good reason to embellish hummus with some red pepper (vitamin A), a dash of lemon (vitamin C), etc, but we’re judging these foods in their most simple states, for fairness.
When it comes to minerals, tahini has more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc. Meanwhile, hummus is higher in sodium.
Note: hummus is a good source of all those minerals too! Tahini just has more.
In short… Enjoy both, but tahini is the more nutritionally dense by far. On the other hand, if for whatever reason you’re looking for something lower in carbs, fats, and calories, then hummus is where it’s at.
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
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Beetroot vs Red Cabbage – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing beetroot to red cabbage, we picked the red cabbage.
Why?
Both are great, and both have their strengths!
In terms of macros, beetroot has very slightly more protein, carbs, and fiber, but the margins of difference are very small in each case. However, in terms of glycemic index, red cabbage has the considerably lower glycemic index, of 32 (low) as opposed to beetroot’s GI of 64 (medium). On the strength of this GI difference, we call this category a win for red cabbage.
In the category of vitamins, beetroot has more of vitamin B9, while red cabbage has a lot more of vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6, C, E, K, and choline. By strength of numbers and also by having very large margins of difference on most of those, red cabbage is the clear winner here.
When it comes to minerals, beetroot has more copper, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, and potassium, while red cabbage has more calcium (and about ⅓ of the sodium). By the numbers, this is a win for beetroot, though it’s worth noting that the margins of difference were small, i.e. red cabbage was right behind beetroot on each of those.
Adding up the sections makes for an overall red cabbage win, but as we say, beetroot is great too, especially when it comes to minerals!
As ever, enjoy either or both; diversity is good.
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
No, beetroot isn’t vegetable Viagra. But here’s what it can do!
Enjoy!
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Childhood Vaccination Rates, a Rare Health Bright Spot in Struggling States, Are Slipping
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Jen Fisher can do only so much to keep her son safe from the types of infections that children can encounter at school. The rest, she said, is up to other students and parents in their hometown of Franklin, Tennessee.
Fisher’s son Raleigh, 12, lives with a congenital heart condition, which has left him with a weakened immune system. For his protection, Raleigh has received all the recommended vaccines for a child his age. But even with his vaccinations, a virus that might only sideline another child could sicken him and land him in the emergency room, Fisher said.
“We want everyone to be vaccinated so that illnesses like measles and things that have basically been eradicated don’t come back,” Fisher said. “Those can certainly have a very adverse effect on Raleigh.”
For much of Raleigh’s life, Fisher could take comfort in the high childhood vaccination rate in Tennessee — a public health bright spot in a conservative state with poor health outcomes and one of the shortest life expectancies in the nation.
Mississippi and West Virginia, two similarly conservative states with poor health outcomes and short life expectancies, also have some of the highest vaccination rates for kindergartners in the nation — a seeming contradiction that stems from the fact that childhood vaccination requirements don’t always align with states’ other characteristics, said James Colgrove, a Columbia University professor who studies factors that influence public health.
“The kinds of policies that states have don’t map neatly on to ‘red’ versus ‘blue’ or one region or another,” Colgrove said.
Advocates, doctors, public health officials, and researchers worry such public health bright spots in some states are fading: Many states have recently reported an increase in people opting out of vaccines for their kids as Americans’ views shift.
During the 2023-24 school year, the percentage of kindergartners exempted from one or more vaccinations rose to 3.3%, the highest ever reported, with increases in 40 states and Washington, D.C., according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data. Tennessee and Mississippi were among those with increases. Nearly all exemptions nationally were for nonmedical reasons.
Vaccine proponents worry anti-vaccine messaging could accelerate a growing “health freedom” movement that has been pushed by leaders in states such as Florida. Momentum against vaccines is likely to continue to grow with the election of Donald Trump as president and his proposed nomination of anti-vaccine activist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services.
Pediatricians in states with high exemption rates, such as Florida and Georgia, say they’re concerned by what they see — declining immunization levels for kindergartners, which could lead to a resurgence in vaccine-preventable diseases such as measles. The Florida Department of Health reported nonmedical exemption rates as high as 50% for children in some areas.
“The religious exemption is huge,” said Brandon Chatani, a pediatric infectious disease doctor in Orlando. “That has allowed for an easy way for these kids to enter schools without vaccines.”
In many states, it’s easier to get a religious exemption than a medical one, which often requires signoff from a doctor.
Over the past decade, California, Connecticut, Maine, and New York have removed religious and philosophical exemptions from school vaccination requirements. West Virginia has not had them.
Idaho, Alaska, and Utah had the highest exemption rates for the 2023-24 school year, according to the CDC. Those states allow parents or legal guardians to exempt their children for religious reasons by submitting a notarized form or a signed statement.
Florida and Georgia, with some of the lowest reported minimum vaccination rates for kindergartners, allow parents to exempt their children by submitting a form with the child’s school or day care.
Both states have reported declines in uptake of the measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine, which is one of the most common childhood shots. In Georgia, MMR coverage for kindergartners dropped to 88.4% in the 2023-24 school year from 93.1% in 2019-20, according to the CDC. Florida dropped to 88.1% from 93.5% during the same period.
Andi Shane, a pediatric infectious disease specialist in Atlanta, traces Georgia’s declining rates to families who lack access to a pediatrician. State policies on exemptions are also key, she said.
“There’s lots of data to support the fact that when personal belief exemptions are not permitted, that vaccination rates are higher,” she said.
In December, Georgia public health officials put out an advisory saying the state had recorded significantly more whooping cough cases than in the prior year. According to CDC data, Georgia reported 280 cases in 2024 compared with 96 the year before.
Until 2023, Mississippi was one of the few states that allowed parents to opt out of vaccinating their kids only for medical reasons — and only with the approval of a doctor. That gave it among the highest vaccination rates in the nation as of the 2023-24 school year.
“It’s one of the few things Mississippi has done well,” said Anita Henderson, a pediatrician who has practiced in the southern part of the state for nearly 30 years. In terms of health, she said, childhood vaccination rates were the state’s one “shining star.”
But that changed in April 2023 when a federal judge ordered state officials to start allowing religious exemptions. The ruling has emboldened many families, Henderson said.
“We are seeing more and more skepticism, more and more vaccine hesitancy, and a lack of confidence because of this ruling,” she said.
State officials have granted more than 5,000 religious exemptions since the court order allowing them, according to the state health department. Daniel Edney, the state health officer, said most of the requests have come from “more affluent” residents in “pockets” of the state.
“Most people listen to the expert opinions of their pediatricians and family medicine doctors to stay on the vaccine schedule, because it’s what is best to protect their children,” he said.
West Virginia’s vaccine law — which hasn’t allowed nonmedical exemptions — also could soon change, Matthew Christiansen said in December before he resigned as the state’s health officer.
A bill that would have broadened exemptions made it through the legislature last year but was vetoed by outgoing Republican Gov. Jim Justice. The new governor, Republican Pat Morrisey, has been a vocal critic of vaccine mandates. And just a day after being inaugurated, he issued an executive order to propose provisions by Feb. 1 that could allow religious and conscientious exemptions.
“I want to send a message that if you have a religious belief, then we’re going to have an exception,” he said at a Jan. 14 press conference. “We’re not going to be the outlier.”
People asserting their personal freedoms to decline vaccines for their kids can ultimately curtail the ability of others to live full lives, Christiansen said. “Kids getting measles and mumps and polio and being paralyzed for their whole life is an impediment on personal freedom and autonomy for those kids,” he said.
Since the covid pandemic, anti-vaccine sentiment has been growing in Tennessee. One organization, Stand for Health Freedom, drafted a letter for constituents to send to their state lawmakers calling for the resignation of the medical director of Tennessee’s Vaccine-Preventable Diseases and Immunization Program. The group said she demonstrated a “lack of respect for the informed consent rights” of the people.
“They feel emboldened by the idea that this presidential administration seems to feel very strongly that a lot of these issues should be taken back to the states,” said Emily Delikat, director of Tennessee Families for Vaccines, a pro-vaccine group.
Ultimately, like many effective public health interventions, vaccines are a victim of their own success, said Henderson, the Mississippi pediatrician. Most people haven’t seen outbreaks of measles or polio, so they forget how dangerous the diseases are, she said.
“It may unfortunately take a resurgence of those diseases to raise awareness to the fact that these are dangerous, these are deadly, these are preventable,” she said. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.
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KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.
Subscribe to KFF Health News’ free Morning Briefing.
This article first appeared on KFF Health News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Put Your Feet Up! (Against A Wall, For 20 Minutes)
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Feel free to browse our articles while you do
Here are 10 good reasons to give it a try; there are another 10 in the short (3:18) video:
- Improves blood circulation
- Improves blood pressure
- Relaxes the body as a whole
- Alleviates lower back tension
- Eases headaches and migraines
- Reduces knee pain
- Relieves swelling in feet and ankles
- Improves lymphatic flow
- Stretches the hamstrings (and hip flexors, if you do it wide)
- Helps quiet the mind
As for the rest…
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically
PS: about that circulation… As a general rule of thumb, anything that slightly confuses the heart (anatomically, not romantically) will tend to have a beneficial effect, in moderation. This goes for being upside-down (as is partly the case here), and also for high-intensity interval training (HIIT):
How To Do HIIT (Without Wrecking Your Body)
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Macadamias vs Hazelnuts – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing macadamias to hazelnuts, we picked the hazelnuts.
Why?
In terms of macros first, hazelnuts have 2x the protein, and slightly more carbs and fiber. We call this a win for hazelnuts.
When it comes to vitamins, macadamias have more of vitamins B1, B2, and B3, while hazelnuts have more of vitamins A, B5, B6, B7, B9, C, and E. Notably, 28x more vitamin E, so that’s not inconsiderable. Also 10x the vitamin B9, and 5x the vitamin C, and the rest, more modest wins. In any case, clearly a strong win for hazelnuts here.
In the category of minerals, macadamias have more selenium, while hazelnuts have more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, and zinc. Another clear win for hazelnuts.
In short, hazelnuts win in all categories. However, by all means enjoy either or both (unless you have a nut allergy, in which case, obviously don’t).
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts
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Behavioral Activation Against Depression & Anxiety
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Behavioral Activation Against Depression & Anxiety
Psychologists do love making fancy new names for things.
You thought you were merely “eating your breakfast”, but now it’s “Happiness-Oriented Basic Behavioral Intervention Therapy (HOBBIT)” or something.
This one’s quite simple, so we’ll keep it short for today, but it is one more tool for your toolbox:
What is Behavioral Activation?
Behavioral Activation is about improving our mood (something we can’t directly choose) by changing our behavior (something we usually can directly choose).
An oversimplified (and insufficient, as we will explain, but we’ll use this one to get us started) example would be “whistle a happy tune and you will be happy”.
Behavioral Activation is not a silver bullet
Or if it is, then it’s the kind you have to keep shooting, because one shot is not enough. However, this becomes easier than you might think, because Behavioral Activation works by…
Creating a Positive Feedback Loop
A lot of internal problems in depression and anxiety are created by the fact that necessary and otherwise desirable activities are being written off by the brain as:
- Pointless (depression)
- Dangerous (anxiety)
The inaction that results from these aversions creates a negative feedback loop as one’s life gradually declines (as does one’s energy, and interest in life), or as the outside world seems more and more unwelcoming/scary.
Instead, Behavioral Activation plans activities (usually with the help of a therapist, as depressed/anxious people are not the most inclined to plan activities) that will be:
- attainable
- rewarding
The first part is important, because the maximum of what is “attainable” to a depressed/anxious person can often be quite a small thing. So, small goals are ideal at first.
The second part is important, because there needs to be some way of jump-starting a healthier dopamine cycle. It also has to feel rewarding during/after doing it, not next year, so short term plans are ideal at first.
So, what behavior should we do?
That depends on you. Behavioral Activation calls for keeping track of our activities (bullet-journaling is fine, and there are apps* that can help you, too) and corresponding moods.
*This writer uses the pragmatic Daylio for its nice statistical analyses of bullet-journaling data-points, and the very cute Finch for more keyword-oriented insights and suggestions. Whatever works for you, works for you, though! It could even be paper and pen.
Sometimes the very thought of an activity fills us with dread, but the actual execution of it brings us relief. Bullet-journaling can track that sort of thing, and inform decisions about “what we should do” going forwards.
Want a ready-made brainstorm to jump-start your creativity?
Here’s list of activities suggested by TherapistAid (a resource hub for therapists)
Want to know more?
You might like:
- How To Use Behavioral Activation (guide for end users)
- Treatment Guide: Behavioral Activation (guide for clinicians)
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