Codependency Isn’t What Most People Think It Is
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Codependency isn’t what most people think it is
In popular parlance, people are often described as “codependent” when they rely on each other to function normally. That’s interdependent mutualism, and while it too can become a problem if a person is deprived of their “other half” and has no idea how to do laundry and does not remember to take their meds, it’s not codependency.
Codependency finds its origins in the treatment and management of alcoholism, and has been expanded to encompass other forms of relationships with dependence on substances and/or self-destructive behaviors—which can be many things, including the non-physical, for example a pattern of irresponsible impulse-spending, or sabotaging one’s own relationship(s).
We’ll use the simplest example, though:
- Person A is (for example) an alcoholic. They have a dependency.
- Person B, married to A, is not an alcoholic. However, their spouse’s dependency affects them greatly, and they do what they can to manage that, and experience tension between wanting to “save” their spouse, and wanting their spouse to be ok, which latter, superficially, often means them having their alcohol.
Person B is thus said to be “codependent”.
The problem with codependency
The problems of codependency are mainly twofold:
- The dependent partner’s dependency is enabled and thus perpetuated by the codependent partner—they might actually have to address their dependency, if it weren’t for their partner keeping them from too great a harm (be it financially, socially, psychologically, medically, whatever)
- The codependent partner is not having a good time of it either. They have the stress of two lives with the resources (e.g. time) of one. They are stressing about something they cannot control, understandably worrying about their loved one, and, worse: every action they might take to “save” their loved one by reducing the substance use, is an action that makes their partner unhappy, and causes conflict too.
Note: codependency is often a thing in romantic relationships, but it can appear in other relationships too, e.g. parent-child, or even between friends.
See also: Development and validation of a revised measure of codependency
How to deal with this
If you find yourself in a codependent position, or are advising someone who is, there are some key things that can help:
- Be a nurturer, not a rescuer. It is natural to want to “rescue” someone we care about, but there are some things we cannot do for them. Instead, we must look for ways to build their strength so that they can take the steps that only they can take to fix the problem.
- Establish boundaries. Practise saying “no”, and also be clear over what things you can and cannot control—and let go of the latter. Communicate this, though. An “I’m not the boss of you” angle can prompt a lot of people to take more personal responsibility.
- Schedule time for yourself. You might take some ideas from our previous tangentially-related article:
How To Avoid Carer Burnout (Without Dropping Care)
Want to read more?
That’s all we have space for today, but here’s a very useful page with a lot of great resources (including questionnaires and checklist and things, in case you’re thinking “is it, or…?”)
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Pine Nuts vs Peanuts – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing pine nuts to peanuts, we picked the pine nuts.
Why?
An argument could be made for either, honestly, as it depends on what we prioritize the most. These are both very high-calorie foods, and/but are far from empty calories, as they both contain main nutrients. Obviously, if you are allergic to nuts, this one is just not a comparison for you, sorry.
Looking at the macros first, peanuts are higher in protein, carbs, and fiber, while pine nuts are higher in fats—though the fats are healthy, being mostly polyunsaturated, with about a third of the total fats monounsaturated, and a low amount of saturated fat (peanuts have nearly 2x the saturated fat). On balance, we’ll call the macros category a moderate win for peanuts, though.
In terms of vitamins, peanuts have more of vitamins B1, B3, B5, B6, and B9, while pine nuts have more of vitamins A, B2, C, E, K, and choline. All in all, a marginal win for pine nuts.
In the category of minerals, peanuts have more calcium and selenium, while pine nuts have more copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, and zinc. An easy win for pine nuts, even before we take into account that peanuts have nearly 10x as much sodium. And yes, we are talking about the raw nuts, not nuts that have been roasted and salted.
Adding up the categories gives a win for pine nuts—but if you have certain particular priorities, you might still prefer peanuts for the areas in which peanuts are stronger.
Of course, the best solution is to enjoy both!
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!
Take care!
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Garlic vs Ginger – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing garlic to ginger, we picked the ginger.
Why?
Both are great, and it is close!
Notwithstanding that (almost?) nobody eats garlic or ginger for the macros, let’s do a moment’s due diligence on that first: garlic has more than 3x the protein and about 2x the fiber (and slightly higher carbs). But, given the small quantities in which people usually consume these foods, these numbers aren’t too meaningful.
In the category of micronutrients, garlic has a lot more vitamins and minerals. We’ll not do a full breakdown for this though, because again, unless you’re eating it by the cupful, this won’t make a huge difference.
Which means that so far, we have two nominal wins for garlic.
Both plants have many medicinal properties. They are both cardioprotective and anticancer, and both full of antioxidants. The benefits of both are comparable in these regards.
Both have antidiabetic action also, but ginger’s effects are stronger when compared head-to head.
So that’s an actual practical win for ginger.
Each plant’s respective effects on the gastrointestinal tract sets them further apart—ginger has antiemetic effects and can be used for treating nausea and vomiting from a variety of causes. Garlic, meanwhile, can cause adverse gastrointestinal effects in some people—but it’s usually neutral for most people in this regard.
Another win for ginger in practical terms.
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
Take care!
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No, vitamin A does not prevent measles
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As measles spreads in Texas, New Mexico, and other states, a Texas child died from measles for the first time in the United States since 2015. In a March 2 Fox News editorial, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. hinted at the importance of vaccination and stated that good nutrition, including vitamin A, is a “best defense against most chronic and infectious illnesses.”
However, doctors and public health professionals say that vitamin A is not a replacement for the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine. Vitamin A is sometimes used to treat measles in the hospital—particularly in developing countries where people with poor nutrition tend to be vitamin A deficient. Experts also say that taking vitamin A when your body does not need it can be dangerous.
“It’s really important to distinguish prevention and treatment, and measles can be prevented, and it can be prevented one way: through vaccination,” Dr. Preeti Malani, infectious disease physician and professor at the University of Michigan, tells PGN. “The best treatment is to not get measles in the first place.”
Read on to learn the facts about vitamin A, what it’s used for, its risks, and what you should do to prevent measles.
What is vitamin A, and what does it have to do with measles?
Vitamin A is a fat-soluble vitamin, which means that it’s stored in the body’s fatty tissue and in the liver, and it’s absorbed with the fat in a person’s diet. Vitamin A helps with our vision, reproduction, growth, and immunity.
Vitamin A deficiency can increase the risk of death from measles, among other infections. The World Health Organization recommends it as a supplement along with vaccination for children at risk of vitamin A deficiency in developing countries.
However, vitamin A deficiency is rare in the U.S. because most people get enough of it through their diet. (Malani says that’s why research about the use of vitamin A to treat measles is limited in countries like the United States.)
“Vitamin A deficiency is a major problem in developing nations, particularly those that don’t have access to staple foods that have vitamin A,” says Andrea Love, PhD, a biomedical scientist and founder of the health communication organization Immunologic, to PGN. “The problem is that that’s been kind of extrapolated to high-income countries [like the United States], where vitamin A deficiency is really not a concern.”
Under Kennedy’s direction, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently updated its guidance to recommend the use of vitamin A to treat severe measles in young children, but specifically in a hospital setting and under a doctor’s supervision.
Does vitamin A prevent measles?
No. Vitamin A does not prevent measles. The MMR vaccine is the best way to prevent a measles infection.
“Vitamin A is not an alternative to vaccination,” Malani adds. “We have a safe and highly effective vaccine that’s been available for decades—it will protect individuals [and] communities from an outbreak.”
Are there any risks to taking vitamin A?
Yes. If your body doesn’t need extra vitamin A, there are risks.
According to the National Institutes of Health, taking too much vitamin A (specifically, the type found in supplements and some medications) can cause nausea, severe headaches, blurred vision, muscle aches, and problems with coordination. In severe cases, it can also lead to coma and death. Taking too much vitamin A while pregnant can cause birth defects.
“If you’re already getting sufficient vitamin A from your diet, then when you consume more than what you need, those levels are going to build up in your body, in your fat stores, in your tissues, and you’re going to be at risk of both acute and chronic toxicity,” adds Love.
Water-soluble vitamins like vitamin C “get filtered out by your kidneys and you would pee it out, but fat-soluble vitamins [like vitamin A], don’t get processed and excreted as quickly; they start to build up in the body,” she says.
What can I do to protect myself from measles?
The MMR vaccine is the best way to protect yourself from measles. The CDC recommends children get two doses of the MMR vaccine: the first dose between 12 and 15 months and the second one between 4 and 6 years old.
Experts recommend that adults who are not sure about their vaccination or immunity status against measles get at least one dose of the MMR vaccine. Additionally, adults who are at high risk for measles (like health care workers and people who travel internationally) may need two additional doses.
According to the CDC, you can also get an MMR vaccine within 72 hours of initial exposure to measles, which can give you some protection or make your illness less severe. Additionally, there’s an antibody (a protective protein called immunoglobulin) that a doctor may recommend for high-risk people within six days of being exposed to measles.
For more information, talk to your health care provider.
This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Balanced Energy Cake Bars
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Unlike a lot of commercially available products, these bars won’t spike your blood sugars in the same way. There’s technically plenty of sugar in them, mostly from the chopped dates, but they’re also full of fiber, protein, and healthy fats. This means they can give you an energy boost (along with lots of gut-healthy, heart-healthy, and brain-healthy ingredients) without any crash later. They’re also delicious, and make for a great afternoon snack!
You will need
- 1 cup oats
- 15 Medjool dates, pitted and soaked in hot water for 15 minutes
- 3 carrots, grated
- 4oz almond butter
- 2 tbsp tahini
- 2 tbsp flaxseeds, milled
- 1 tbsp sesame seeds, toasted
- Optional: your choice of dried fruit and/or chopped nuts (mix it up; diversity is good!)
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Steam the grated carrots for 3–4 minutes; pat dry and allow to cool
2) Drain and pat dry the dates, roughly chop them and add them to a bowl with the carrots. Because we chopped the dates rather than blended them (as many recipes do), they keep their fiber, which is important.
3) Add the oats, seeds, almond butter, and tahini. Also add in any additional dried fruit and/or chopped nuts you selected for the optional part. Mix well; the mixture should be quite firm. If it isn’t, add more oats.
4) Press the mixture into a 10″ square baking tin lined with baking paper. Refrigerate for a few hours, before cutting into bar shapes (or squares if you prefer). These can now be eaten immediately or stored for up to a week.
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:
Take care!
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Heavy Metal Detox In A Pill?
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We have previous discussed assorted approaches to “detoxing”:
Detox: What’s Real, What’s Not, What’s Useful, What’s Dangerous?
Today we’re going to be looking at one we didn’t cover there, which is zeolite.
What is zeolite?
Zeolite is a mineral that occurs naturally and can also be synthesized, and it’s famous for absorbing other stuff from around it. Because of this property, it’s used in many things, including:
- Petrochemical catalysis
- Water treatment
- Nuclear waste reprocessing
- Cat litter
- Supplements (for detox purposes)
That’s, uh… An interesting list, isn’t it? So, we were curious as to whether this mineral that’s also used in fish tank filters is, in fact, overpriced gravel being sold to the gullible as a health supplement.
We had to do some digging on this one
Our journey didn’t start well, with this very dubious-looking paper being cited by a company selling zeolite supplements:
This immediately prompted two questions:
- Who is eating graphene?!* That stuff does not occur in nature (or at least; it hasn’t ever been found; the universe is a big place so it might exist elsewhere), has only relatively recently been synthesized, is very difficult to produce, is two-dimensional while being hard as diamonds, and exists only in truly tiny lab-made quantities worldwide. It would be orders of magnitude easier to find and eat uranium.
- Is this a reputable journal? Which question was easier to answer than the former one, and the answer is “no”; we hadn’t heard of this journal (ACTA Scientific), and neither it seems had most of the Internet, but we did find it on a list of predatory journals, here.
*The citation given in the above paper should by rights answer the question of who is eating graphene, since by rights they must have demonstrated it somehow, but it just doesn’t. Instead, it links to what it claims is a paper titled “Oxygenated Zeolite (Clinoptilite) Efficiently Removes Aluminum & Graphene Oxide”, but is in reality just someone’s blog post with a screenshot of an actual paper entitled “Novel, oxygenated clinoptilolite material efficiently removes aluminium from aluminium chloride-intoxicated rats in vivo”). Looking up this real paper in its real journal, it does not mention graphene.
All this to say: sometimes, unscrupulous people will just plain lie to you, which is why peer review is important, as is sourcing data from reputable journals. Which is what we do for you so that you don’t have to 🙂
It does, actually, work though (for heavy metal detox)
Notwithstanding the aforementioned bunk, we found this from a more reputable publisher:
❝In this study, we have presented clinical evidence supporting the use of an activated clinoptilolite (zeolite) suspension to safely and effectively increase the urinary excretion of potentially toxic heavy metals in healthy volunteers without negatively impacting the electrolyte profiles of the participants.
Significant increases in the urinary excretion of aluminum, antimony, arsenic, bismuth, cadmium, lead, mercury, nickel and tin were observed in the subjects participating in the two study groups as compared to placebo controls.❞
Also good for the gut and against inflammation
Specifically, it’s good for gut barrier integrity, i.e., against “leaky gut syndrome”:
❝Twelve weeks of zeolite supplementation exerted beneficial effects on intestinal wall integrity as indicated via decreased concentrations of the tight junction modulator zonulin.
This was accompanied by mild anti-inflammatory effects in this cohort of aerobically trained subjects.❞
May also be good against neurodegenerative diseases
If it is (which is plausible), it’ll probably because of removing heavy metals and improving gut barrier integrity—in other words, the things we just looked at in the two reputable peer-reviewed studies we examined above.
But the science is young for this one; here’s the current state of things:
Zeolite and Neurodegenerative Diseases
Is it safe?
Safety reviews have found it to be safe, for example:
Critical Review on Zeolite Clinoptilolite Safety and Medical Applications in vivo
However, if you are taking regular medications, we recommend checking with your pharmacist or doctor to ensure that zeolite will not also remove those medications from your system!
Want to try some?
We don’t sell it, but here for your convenience is an example product on Amazon 😎
Enjoy!
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Healthy Harissa Falafel Patties
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You can make these as regular falafel balls if you prefer, but patties are quicker and easier to cook, and are great for popping in a pitta.
You will need
For the falafels:
- 1 can chickpeas, drained, keep the chickpea water (aquafaba)
- 1 red onion, roughly chopped
- 2 tbsp chickpea flour (also called gram flour or garbanzo bean flour)
- 1 bunch parsley
- 1 tbsp harissa paste
- Extra virgin olive oil for frying
For the harissa sauce:
- ½ cup crème fraîche or plant-based equivalent (you can use our Plant-Based Healthy Cream Cheese recipe and add the juice of 1 lemon)*
- 1 tbsp harissa paste (or adjust this quantity per your heat preference)
*if doing this, rather than waste the zest of the lemon, you can add the zest to the falafels if you like, but it’s by no means necessary, just an option
For serving:
- Wholegrain pitta or other flatbread (you can use our Healthy Homemade Flatbreads recipe)
- Salad (your preference; we recommend some salad leaves, sliced tomato, sliced cucumber, maybe some sliced onion, that sort of thing)
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Blend the chickpeas, 1 oz of the aquafaba, the onion, the parsley, and the harissa paste, until smooth. Then add in the chickpea flour until you get a thick batter. If you overdo it with the chickpea flour, add a little more of the aquafaba to equalize. Refrigerate the mixture for at least 30 minutes.
2) Heat some oil in a skillet, and spoon the falafel mixture into the pan to make the patties, cooking on both sides (you can use a spatula to gently turn them), and set them aside.
3) Mix the harissa sauce ingredients in a small bowl.
4) Assemble; best served warm, but enjoy it however you like!
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in more of what we have going on today:
- Why You’re Probably Not Getting Enough Fiber (And How To Fix It)
- Capsaicin For Weight Loss And Against Inflammation
- Hero Homemade Hummus ← another great option
Take care!
Don’t Forget…
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