How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

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Overcoming Loneliness & Isolation

One of the biggest mental health threats that faces many of us as we get older is growing isolation, and the loneliness that can come with it. Family and friends thin out over the years, and getting out and about isn’t always as easy as it used to be for everyone.

Nor is youth a guaranteed protection against this—in today’s world of urban sprawl and nothing-is-walkable cities, in which access to social spaces such as cafés and the like means paying the rising costs with money that young people often don’t have… And that’s without getting started on how much the pandemic impacted an entire generation’s social environments (or lack thereof).

Why is this a problem?

Humans are, by evolution, social creatures. As individuals we may have something of a spectrum from introvert to extrovert, but as a species, we thrive in community. And we suffer, when we don’t have that.

What can we do about it?

We can start by recognizing our needs, such as they are, and identifying to what extent they are being met (or not).

  • Some of us may be very comfortable with a lot of alone time—but need someone to talk to sometimes.
  • Some of us may need near-constant company to feel at our best—and that’s fine too! We just need to plan accordingly.

In the former case, it’s important to remember that needing someone to talk to is not being a burden to them. Not only will our company probably enrich them too, but also, we are evolved to care for one another, and that itself can bring fulfilment to them as much as to you. But what if you don’t a friend to talk to?

  • You might be surprised at who would be glad of you reaching out. Have a think through whom you know, and give it a go. This can be scary, because what if they reject us, or worse, they don’t reject us but silently resent us instead? Again, they probably won’t. Human connection requires taking risks and being vulnerable sometimes.
  • If that’s not an option, there are services that can fill your need. For some, therapy might serve a dual purpose in this regard. For others, you might want to check out the list of (mostly free) resources at the bottom of this article

In the second case (that we need near-constant company to feel at our best) we probably need to look more at our overall lifestyle, and find ways to be part of a community. That can include:

  • Living in a close-knit community (places with a lot of retirees in one place often have this; or younger folk might look at communal living/working spaces, for example)
  • Getting involved in local groups (you can check out NextDoor.com or MeetUp.com for this)
  • Volunteering for a charity (not only are acts of service generally fulfilling in and of themselves, but also, you will probably be working with other people of a charitable nature, and such people tend to make for good company!)

Need a little help?

There are many, many organizations that will love to help you (or anyone else) overcome loneliness and isolation.

Rather than list them all here and make this email very long by describing how each of them works, here’s a great compilation of resources:

Healthline: How To Deal With Loneliness (Resources)

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  • Will there soon be a cure for HIV?

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    Human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV, is a chronic health condition that can be fatal without treatment. People with HIV can live healthy lives by taking antiretroviral therapy (ART), but this medication must be taken daily in order to work, and treatment can be costly. Fortunately, researchers believe a cure is possible.

     In July, a seventh person was reportedly cured of HIV following a 2015 stem cell transplant for acute myeloid leukemia. The patient stopped taking ART in 2018 and has remained in remission from HIV.

    Read on to learn more about HIV, the promise of stem cell transplants, and what other potential cures are on the horizon.

    What is HIV?

    HIV infects and destroys the immune system’s cells, making people more susceptible to infections. If left untreated, HIV will severely impair the immune system and progress to acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). People living with untreated AIDS typically die within three years.

    People with HIV can take ART to help their immune systems recover and to reduce their viral load to an undetectable level, which slows the progression of the disease and prevents them passing the virus to others.

    How can stem cell transplants cure HIV?

    Several people have been cured of HIV after receiving stem cell transplants to treat leukemia or lymphoma. Stem cells are produced by the spongy tissue located in the center of some bones, and they can turn into new blood cells.

    A mutation on the CCR5 gene prevents HIV from infecting new cells and creates resistance to the virus, which is why some HIV-positive people have received stem cells from donors carrying this mutation. (One person was reportedly cured of HIV after receiving stem cells without the CCR5 mutation, but further research is needed to understand how this occurred.)

    Despite this promising news, experts warn that stem cell transplants can be fatal, so it’s unlikely this treatment will be available to treat people with HIV unless a stem cell transplant is needed to treat cancer. People with HIV are at an increased risk for blood cancers, such as Hodgkin lymphoma and non-Hodgkin lymphoma, which stem cell transplants can treat.

    Additionally, finding compatible donors with the CCR5 mutation who share genetic heritage with patients of color can be challenging, as donors with the mutation are typically white.

    What are other potential cures for HIV?

    In some rare cases, people who started ART shortly after infection and later stopped treatment have maintained undetectable levels of HIV in their bodies. There have also been some people whose bodies have been able to maintain low viral loads without any ART at all.

    Researchers are studying these cases in their search for a cure.

    Other treatment options researchers are exploring include:

    • Gene therapy: In addition to stem cell transplants, gene therapy for HIV involves removing genes from HIV particles in patients’ bodies to prevent the virus from infecting other cells.
    • Immunotherapy: This treatment is typically used in cancer patients to teach their immune systems how to fight off cancer. Research has shown that giving some HIV patients antibodies that target the virus helps them reach undetectable levels of HIV without ART.
    • mRNA technology: mRNA, a type of genetic material that helps produce proteins, has been used in vaccines to teach cells how to fight off viruses. Researchers are seeking a way to send mRNA to immune system cells that contain HIV.

    When will there be a cure for HIV?

    The United Nations and several countries have pledged to end HIV and AIDS by 2030, and a 2023 UNAIDS report affirmed that reaching this goal is possible. However, strategies to meet this goal include HIV prevention and improving access to existing treatment alongside the search for a cure, so we still don’t know when a cure might be available.

    How can I find out if I have HIV?

    You can get tested for HIV from your primary care provider or at your local health center. You can also purchase an at-home HIV test from a drugstore or online. If your at-home test result is positive, follow up with your health care provider to confirm the diagnosis and get treatment.

    For more information, talk to your health care provider.

    This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

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  • Retrain Your Brain – by Dr. Seth Gillihan

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    15-Minute Arabic”, “Sharpen Your Chess Tactics in 24 Hours”, “Change Your Life in 7 Days”, “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 weeks”—all real books from this reviewer’s shelves.

    The thing with books with these sorts of time periods in the titles is that the time period in the title often bears little relation to how long it takes to get through the book. So what’s the case here?

    You’ll probably get through it in more like 7 days, but the pacing is more important than the pace. By that we mean:

    Dr. Gillihan starts by assuming the reader is at best “in a rut”, and needs to first pick a direction to head in (the first “week”) and then start getting one’s life on track (the second “week”).

    He then gives us, one by one, an array of tools and power-ups to do increasingly better. These tools aren’t just CBT, though of course that features prominently. There’s also mindfulness exercises, and holistic / somatic therapy too, for a real “bringing it all together” feel.

    And that’s where this book excels—at no point is the reader left adrift with potential stumbling-blocks left unexamined. It’s a “whole course”.

    Bottom line: whether it takes you 7 hours or 7 months, “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks” is a CBT-and-more course for people who like courses to work through. It’ll get you where you’re going… Wherever you want that to be for you!

    Click here to check out “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks” on Amazon and start learning today!

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  • Undoing The Damage Of Life’s Hard Knocks

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    Sometimes, What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Insecure

    We’ve written before about Complex PTSD, which is much more common than the more popularly understood kind:

    PTSD, But, Well…. Complex.

    Given that C-PTSD affects so many people (around 1 in 5, but really, do read the article above! It explains it better than we have room to repeat today), it seems like a good idea to share tips for managing it.

    (Last time, we took all the space for explaining it, so we just linked to some external resources at the end)

    What happened to you?

    PTSD has (as a necessity, as part of its diagnostic criteria) a clear event that caused it, which makes the above question easy to answer.

    C-PTSD often takes more examination to figure out what tapestry of circumstances (and likely but not necessarily: treatment by other people) caused it.

    Often it will feel like “but it can’t be that; that’s not that bad”, or “everyone has things like that” (in which case, you’re probably one of the one in five).

    The deeper questions

    Start by asking yourself: what are you most afraid of, and why? What are you most ashamed of? What do you fear that other people might say about you?

    Often there is a core pattern of insecurity that can be summed up in a simple, harmful, I-message, e.g:

    • I am a bad person
    • I am unloveable
    • I am a fake
    • I am easy to hurt
    • I cannot keep my loved ones safe

    …and so forth.

    For a bigger list of common insecurities to see what resonates, check out:

    Basic Fears/Insecurities, And Their Corresponding Needs/Desires

    Find where they came from

    You probably learned bad beliefs, and consequently bad coping strategies, because of bad circumstances, and/or bad advice.

    • When a parent exclaimed in anger about how stupid you are
    • When a partner exclaimed in frustration that always mess everything up
    • When an employer told you you weren’t good enough

    …or maybe they told you one thing, and showed you the opposite. Or maybe it was entirely non-verbal circumstances:

    • When you gambled on a good idea and lost everything
    • When you tried so hard at some important endeavour and failed
    • When you thought someone could be trusted, and learned the hard way that you were wrong

    These are “life’s difficult bits”, but when we’ve lived through a whole stack of them, it’s less like a single shattering hammer-blow of PTSD, and more like the consistent non-stop tap tap tap that ends up doing just as much damage in the long run.

    Resolve them

    That may sound a bit like a “and quickly create world peace” level of task, but we have tools:

    Ask yourself: what if…

    …it had been different? Take some time and indulge in a full-blown fantasy of a life that was better. Explore it. How would those different life lessons, different messages, have impacted who you are, your personality, your behaviour?

    This is useful, because the brain is famously bad at telling real memories from false ones. Consciously, you’ll know that one was an exploratory fantasy, but to your brain, it’s still doing the appropriate rewiring. So, little by little, neuroplasticity will do its thing.

    Tell yourself a better lie

    We borrowed this one from the title of a very good book which we’ve reviewed previously.

    This idea is not about self-delusion, but rather that we already express our own experiences as a sort of narrative, and that narrative tends to contain value judgements that are often not useful, e.g. “I am stupid”, “I am useless”, and all the other insecurities we mentioned earlier. Some simple examples might be:

    • “I had a terrible childhood” → “I have come so far”
    • “I should have known better” → “I am wiser now”
    • “I have lost so much” → “I have experienced so much”

    So, replacing that self-talk can go a long way to re-writing how secure we feel, and therefore how much trauma-response (ideally: none!) we have to stimuli that are not really as threatening as we sometimes feel they are (a hallmark of PTSD in general).

    Here’s a guide to more ways:

    How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

    Take care!

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  • All In Your Head (Which Is Where It’s Supposed To Be)

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Today’s news is all about things above the neck, and mostly in the brain. From beating depression to beating cognitive decline, from mindfulness against pain to dentistry nightmares to avoid:

    Transcranial ultrasound stimulation

    Transcranial magnetic stimulation is one of those treatments that sounds like it’s out of a 1950s sci-fi novel, and yet, it actually works (it’s very well-evidenced against treatment-resistant depression, amongst other things). However, a weakness of it is that it’s difficult to target precisely, making modulation of most neurological disorders impossible. Using ultrasound instead of a magnetic field allows for much more finesse, with very promising initial results across a range of neurological disorders

    Read in full: Transcranial ultrasound stimulation: a new frontier in non-invasive brain therapy

    Related: Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!

    This may cause more pain and damage, but at least it’s more expensive too…

    While socialized healthcare systems sometimes run into the problem of not wanting to spend money where it actually is needed, private healthcare systems have the opposite problem: there’s a profit incentive to upsell to more expensive treatments. Here’s how that’s played out in dentistry:

    Read in full: Dentists are pulling healthy and treatable teeth to profit from implants, experts warn

    Related: Tooth Remineralization: How To Heal Your Teeth Naturally

    Mindfulness vs placebo, for pain

    It can be difficult with some “alternative therapies” to test against placebo, for example “and control group B will merely believe that they are being pierced with needles”, etc. However, in this case, mindfulness meditation was tested as an analgesic vs sham meditation (just deep breathing) and also vs placebo analgesic cream, vs distraction (listening to an audiobook). Mindfulness meditation beat all of the other things:

    Read in full: Mindfulness meditation outperforms placebo in reducing pain

    Related: No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness

    Getting personal with AI doctors

    One of the common reasons that people reject AI doctors is the “lack of a human touch”. However, human and AI doctors may be meeting in the middle nowadays, as humans are pressed to see more patients in less time, and AI is trained to be more personal—not just a friendlier affect, but also, such things as remembering the patient’s previous encounters (again, something with which overworked human doctors sometimes struggle). This makes a big difference to patient satisfaction:

    Read in full: Personalization key to patient satisfaction with AI doctors

    Related: AI: The Doctor That Never Tires?

    Combination brain therapy against cognitive decline

    This study found that out of various combinations trialled, the best intervention against cognitive decline was a combination of 1) cognitive remediation (therapeutic interventions designed to improve cognitive functioning, like puzzles and logic problems), and 2) transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS), a form of non-invasive direct brain stimulation, similar to the magnetic or ultrasound methods we mentioned earlier today. Here’s how it worked:

    Read in full: Study reveals effective combination therapy to slow cognitive decline in older adults

    Related: How To Reduce Your Alzheimer’s Risk

    Take care!

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  • How does cancer spread to other parts of the body?

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    All cancers begin in a single organ or tissue, such as the lungs or skin. When these cancers are confined in their original organ or tissue, they are generally more treatable.

    But a cancer that spreads is much more dangerous, as the organs it spreads to may be vital organs. A skin cancer, for example, might spread to the brain.

    This new growth makes the cancer much more challenging to treat, as it can be difficult to find all the new tumours. If a cancer can invade different organs or tissues, it can quickly become lethal.

    When cancer spreads in this way, it’s called metastasis. Metastasis is responsible for the majority (67%) of cancer deaths.

    Cells are supposed to stick to surrounding tissue

    Our bodies are made up of trillions of tiny cells. To keep us healthy, our bodies are constantly replacing old or damaged cells.

    Each cell has a specific job and a set of instructions (DNA) that tells it what to do. However, sometimes DNA can get damaged.

    This damage might change the instructions. A cell might now multiply uncontrollably, or lose a property known as adherence. This refers to how sticky a cell is, and how well it can cling to other surrounding cells and stay where it’s supposed to be.

    If a cancer cell loses its adherence, it can break off from the original tumour and travel through the bloodstream or lymphatic system to almost anywhere. This is how metastasis happens.

    Many of these travelling cancer cells will die, but some will settle in a new location and begin to form new cancers.

    Cancer cells
    Some cells settle in a new location.
    Scipro/Shutterstock

    Particular cancers are more likely to metastasise to particular organs that help support their growth. Breast cancers commonly metastasise to the bones, liver, and lungs, while skin cancers like melanomas are more likely to end up in the brain and heart.

    Unlike cancers which form in solid organs or tissues, blood cancers like leukaemia already move freely through the bloodstream, but can escape to settle in other organs like the liver or brain.

    When do cancers metastasise?

    The longer a cancer grows, the more likely it is to metastasise. If not caught early, a patient’s cancer may have metastasised even before it’s initially diagnosed.

    Metastasis can also occur after cancer treatment. This happens when cancer cells are dormant during treatment – drugs may not “see” those cells. These invisible cells can remain hidden in the body, only to wake up and begin growing into a new cancer months or even years later.

    For patients who already have cancer metastases at diagnosis, identifying the location of the original tumour – called the “primary site” – is important. A cancer that began in the breast but has spread to the liver will probably still behave like a breast cancer, and so will respond best to an anti-breast cancer therapy, and not anti-liver cancer therapy.

    As metastases can sometimes grow faster than the original tumour, it’s not always easy to tell which tumour came first. These cancers are called “cancers of unknown primary” and are the 11th most commonly diagnosed cancers in Australia.

    One way to improve the treatment of metastatic cancer is to improve our ways of detecting and identifying cancers, to ensure patients receive the most effective drugs for their cancer type.

    What increases the chances of metastasis and how can it be prevented?

    If left untreated, most cancers will eventually acquire the ability to metastasise.

    While there are currently no interventions that specifically prevent metastasis, cancer patients who have their tumours surgically removed may also be given chemotherapy (or other drugs) to try and weed out any hidden cancer cells still floating around.

    The best way to prevent metastasis is to diagnose and treat cancers early. Cancer screening initiatives such as Australia’s cervical, bowel, and breast cancer screening programs are excellent ways to detect cancers early and reduce the chances of metastasis.

    Older woman has mammogram
    The best way to prevent cancer spreading is to diagnose and treat them early.
    Peakstock/Shutterstock

    New screening programs to detect cancers early are being researched for many types of cancer. Some of these are simple: CT scans of the body to look for any potential tumours, such as in England’s new lung cancer screening program.

    Using artificial intelligence (AI) to help examine patient scans is also possible, which might identify new patterns that suggest a cancer is present, and improve cancer detection from these programs.

    More advanced screening methods are also in development. The United States government’s Cancer Moonshot program is currently funding research into blood tests that could detect many types of cancer at early stages.

    One day there might even be a RAT-type test for cancer, like there is for COVID.

    Will we be able to prevent metastasis in the future?

    Understanding how metastasis occurs allows us to figure out new ways to prevent it. One idea is to target dormant cancer cells and prevent them from waking up.

    Directly preventing metastasis with drugs is not yet possible. But there is hope that as research efforts continue to improve cancer therapies, they will also be more effective at treating metastatic cancers.

    For now, early detection is the best way to ensure a patient can beat their cancer.The Conversation

    Sarah Diepstraten, Senior Research Officer, Blood Cells and Blood Cancer Division, Walter and Eliza Hall Institute and John (Eddie) La Marca, Senior Resarch Officer, Walter and Eliza Hall Institute

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Neurotransmitter Cheatsheet

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    Which Neurotransmitter?

    There are a lot of neurotransmitters that are important for good mental health (and, by way of knock-on effects, physical health).

    However, when pop-science headlines refer to them as “feel-good chemicals” (yes but which one?!) or “the love molecule” (yes but which one?!) or other such vague names when referring to a specific neurotransmitter, it’s easy to get them mixed up.

    So today we’re going to do a little disambiguation of some of the main mood-related neurotransmitters (there are many more, but we only have so much room), and what things we can do to help manage them.

    Dopamine

    This one predominantly regulates reward responses, though it’s also necessary for critical path analysis (e.g. planning), language faculties, and motor functions. It makes us feel happy, motivated, and awake.

    To have more:

    • eat foods that are rich in dopamine or its precursors such as tyrosine (bananas and almonds are great)
    • do things that you find rewarding

    Downsides: is instrumental in most addictions, and also too much can result in psychosis. For most people, that level of “too much” isn’t obtainable due to the homeostatic system, however.

    See also: Rebalancing Dopamine (Without “Dopamine Fasting”)

    Serotonin

    This one predominantly helps regulate our circadian rhythm. It also makes us feel happy, calm, and awake.

    To have more:

    • get more sunlight, or if the light must be artificial, then (ideally) full-spectrum light, or (if it’s what’s available) blue light
    • spend time in nature; we are hardwired to feel happy in the environments in which we evolved, which for most of human history was large open grassy expanses with occasional trees (however, for modern purposes, a park or appropriate garden will suffice).

    Downsides: this is what keeps us awake at night if we had too much light before bed, and also too much serotonin can result in (potentially fatal) serotonin syndrome. Most people can’t get that much serotonin due to our homeostatic system, but some drugs can force it upon us.

    See also: Seasonal Affective Disorder Strategies

    Oxytocin

    This one predominantly helps us connect to others on an emotional level. It also makes us feel happy, calm, and relaxed.

    To have more:

    • hug a loved one (or even just think about doing so, if they’re not available)
    • look at pictures/videos of cute puppies, kittens, and the like—this triggers a similar response

    Downsides: negligible. Socially speaking, it can cause us to drop our guard, most for most people most of the time, this is not a problem. It can also reduce sexual desire—it’s in large part responsible for the peaceful lulled state post-orgasm. It’s not responsible for the sleepiness in men though; that’s mostly prolactin.

    See also: Only One Kind Of Relationship Promotes Longevity This Much!

    Adrenaline

    This one predominantly affects our sympathetic nervous system; it elevates heart rate, blood pressure, and other similar functions. It makes us feel alert, ready for action, and energized.

    To have more:

    • listen to a “power anthem” piece of music. What it is can depend on your musical tastes; whatever gets you riled up in an empowering way.
    • engage in something competitive that you feel strongly about while doing it—or by the same mechanism, a solitary activity where the stakes feel high even if it’s actually quite safe (e.g. watching a thriller or a horror movie, if that’s your thing).

    Downsides: its effects are not sustainable, and (in cases of chronic stress) the body will try to sustain them anyway, which has a deleterious effect. Because adrenaline and cortisol are closely linked, chronically high adrenal action will tend to mean chronically high cortisol also.

    See also: Lower Your Cortisol! (Here’s Why & How)

    Some final words

    You’ll notice that in none of the “how to have more” did we mention drugs. That’s because:

    • a drug-free approach is generally the best thing to try first, at the very least
    • there are simply a lot of drugs to affect each one (or more), and talking about them would require talking about each drug in some detail.

    However, the following may be of interest for some readers:

    Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!

    Take care!

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