Perfectionism, And How To Make Yours Work For You

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Harness The Power Of Your Perfectionism

A lot of people see perfectionism as a problem—and it can be that!

We can use perfectionism as a would-be shield against our fear of failure, by putting things off until we’re better prepared (repeat forever, or at least until the deadliniest deadline that ever deadlined), or do things but really struggle to draw a line under them and check them off as “done” because we keep tweaking and improving and improving… With diminishing returns (forever). So, that’s not helpful.

But, if we’re mindful, we can also leverage our perfectionism to our benefit.

Great! How?

First we need to be able to discern the ways in which perfectionism can be bad or good for us. Or as it’s called in psychology, ways in which our perfectionism can be maladaptive or adaptive.

  • Maladaptive: describing a behavioral adaptation to our environment—specifically, a reactive behavioral adaptation that is unhealthy and really is not a solution to the problem at hand
  • Adaptive: describing a behavioral adaptation to our environment—specifically, a responsive behavioral adaptation that is healthy and helps us to thrive

So in the case of perfectionism, one example for each might be:

  • Maladaptive: never taking up that new hobby, because you’re just going to suck at it anyway, and what’s the point if you’re not going to excel? You’re a perfectionist, and you don’t settle for anything less than excellence.
  • Adaptive: researching the new hobby, learning the basics, and recognizing that even if the results are not immediately perfect, the learning process can be… Yes, even with mistakes along the way, for they too are part of learning! You’re a perfectionist, and you’re going to be the best possible student of your new hobby.

Did you catch the key there?

When it comes to approaching things we do in life—either because we want to or because we must—there are two kinds of mindset: goal-oriented, and task-oriented.

Broadly speaking, each has their merits, and as a general topic, it’s beyond the scope of today’s main feature. Here we’re looking at it in the context of perfectionism, and in that frame, there’s a clear qualitative difference:

  • The goal-oriented perfectionist will be frustrated to the point of torment, at not immediately attaining the goal. Everything short of that will be a means to an end, at best. Not fun.
  • The task-oriented perfectionist will take joy in going about the task in the best way possible, and optimizing their process as they go. The journey itself will be rewarding and a tangible product of their consistent perfectionism.

The good news is: you get to choose! You’re not stuck in a box.

If you’re thinking “I’m a perfectionist and I’m generally a goal-oriented person”, that’s fine. You’re just going to need to reframe your goals.

  • Instead of: my goal is to be fluent in Arabic
    • …so you never speak it, because to err is human, all too human, and you’re a perfectionist, so you don’t want that!
  • Let’s try: my goal is to study Arabic for at least 15 minutes per day, every day, without fail, covering at least some new material each time, no matter how small the increase
    • …and then you go and throw yourself into conversation way out of your depth, make mistakes, and get corrections, because that’s how you learn, and you’re a perfectionist, so you want that!

This goes for any field of expertise, of course.

  • If you want to play the violin solo in Carnegie Hall, you have to pick up your violin and practice each day.
  • If you want to be a world-renowned pastry chef, you have to make a consistent habit of baking.
  • If you want to write a bestselling book, you have to show up at your keyboard.

Be perfect all you want, but be the perfect student.

And as your skills grow, maybe you’ll upgrade that to also being the perfect practitioner, and perhaps later still, the perfect teacher.

But just remember:

Perfection comes not from the end goal (that would be backwards thinking!) but from the process (which includes mistakes; they’re an important part of learning; embrace them and grow!), so perfect that first.

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  • Healthy Kids, Happy Kids – by Dr. Elisa Song

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    If you have young children or perhaps grandchildren, you probably care deeply about those children and their wellbeing, but there can often be a lot more guesswork than would be ideal, when it comes to ensuring they be and remain healthy.

    Nevertheless, a lot of common treatments for children are based (whether parents know it or not—and often they dont) on what is most convenient for the parent, not necessarily what is best for the child. Dr. Song looks to correct that.

    Rather than dosing kids with acetaminophen or even antibiotics, assuming eczema can be best fixed with a topical cream (treating the symptom rather than the cause, much?), and that some things like asthma “just are”, and “that’s unfortunate”, Dr. Song takes us on a tour of pediatric health, centered around the gut.

    Why the gut? Well, it’s pretty central to us as adults, and it’s the same for kids, except one difference: their gut microbiome is changing even more quickly than ours (along with the rest of their body), and as such, is even more susceptible to little nudges for better or for worse, having a big impact in either direction. So, might as well make it a good one!

    After an explanatory overview, most of the book is given over to recognizing and correcting what things can go wrong, including the top 25 acute childhood conditions, and the most critical chronic ones, and how to keep things on-track as a team (the child is part of the team! An important part!).

    The style of the book is very direct and instructional; easy to understand throughout. It’s a lot like being in a room with a very competent pediatrician who knows her stuff and explains it well, thus neither patronizing nor mystifying.

    Bottom line: if there are kids in your life, be they yours or your grandkids or someone else, this is a fine book for giving them the best foundational health.

    Click here to check out Healthy Kids, Happy Kids, and take care of yours!

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  • Sauerkraut vs Pickled Cucumber – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing sauerkraut to pickled cucumber, we picked the sauerkraut.

    Why?

    Both of these fermented foods can give a gut-healthy microbiome boost, but how do they stack up otherwise?

    In terms of macros, sauerkraut has more protein, carbs, and fiber. They are both low glycemic index foods, so we’ll go with the one that has more fiber out of the two, and that’s the ‘kraut.

    In the category of vitamins, sauerkraut has more of vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9, C, E, and choline, while pickled cucumbers have more of vitamins A and K. An easy win for sauerkraut.

    When it comes to minerals, sauerkraut has more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while pickled cucumbers are not higher in any mineral, except sodium (on average, pickled cucumbers have about 2x the sodium of sauerkraut). Another clear win for sauerkraut.

    In short, enjoy either or both in moderation, but it’s clear which boasts the most nutritional benefits, and that’s the sauerkraut!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Make Friends With Your Gut (You Can Thank Us Later)

    Take care!

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  • Dyslexia Test

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    (and it’s mostly not about reading/writing!)

    More than just shuffled letters

    This video provides a self-test based on the Bangor Dyslexia Test (BDT). The BDT is 94% accurate in identifying dyslexia, and it includes 9 parts, with a mix of questions and tasks. Answering “yes” or struggling with tasks indicates possible dyslexia. Collecting 4+ indicators suggests dyslexia, but of course is not a replacement for official diagnosis.

    It’s best to watch the video if you can, but here’s what to expect:

    1. Left-Right confusion: point your left hand to your right/left shoulder.
    2. Family history: any family members with dyslexia or struggles with reading/writing?
    3. Repeating numbers (order): repeat a given sequence of numbers in order.
    4. Letter confusion (e.g. b/d): do you confuse letters like “b” and “d” beyond age 8?
    5. Times tables: recite the 6, 7, and 8 times tables.
    6. Word manipulation: replace the letters in a word to create a new word, e.g. change “slide” (s ⇾ g) to “glide.”
    7. Repeating numbers (reversed): repeat a given sequence of numbers in reverse order.
    8. Months in reverse: recite the months of the year in reverse order.
    9. Subtraction: do you struggle with subtraction, e.g. 44-9 or 55-12?

    Writer’s anecdote: I am not dyslexic, and/but I have an impressive level of dyscalculia (the purely numerical equivalent), to the point I’ll sometimes use a calculator to do single-digit calculations, and I am so bad at calculating ages or other differences between dates (I will have to count on my fingers or else run the severe risk of out-by-one errors). I have also been known to make mistakes counting down from 10, which really ruins dramatic tension.

    In contrast, the left-right thing is interesting, because when I was first learning Arabic, I had no trouble reading/writing right-to-left, but I initially struggled so much to remember which way the “backspace” key would take me (in Arabic the backspace key backspaces to the right, despite still pointing to the left).

    Anyway, for the test itself, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Reading, Better (Reading As A Cognitive Exercise)

    Take care!

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  • Cashew & Chickpea Balti

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    When it comes to curries, the humble balti is perhaps the best when you don’t have all day to let something simmer. Filled with healthful spices, this one also comes complete with lots of fiber as well as healthy proteins and fats, with most of its calories coming from the nuts themselves, and the haricot paste base makes for a deliciously creamy curry without having to add anything unhealthy.

    You will need

    • 1 cup cashews, soaked in warm water for at least 5 minutes, and drained (if allergic, omit)
    • 1 can chickpeas (keep the water)
    • 1 can haricot beans (keep the water)
    • 1 can crushed tomatoes
    • 2 medium (or 3 small) red onions, sliced
    • red or green chilis, quantity per your preference re heat, chopped
    • ½ bulb garlic, crushed
    • ½ oz fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped
    • 1 tbsp tomato paste
    • 1 tbsp garam masala
    • 1 tbsp ground coriander
    • 1 tbsp black pepper, coarse ground
    • 2 tsp turmeric
    • 1 tsp mustard seeds (if allergic, omit)
    • 1 tsp sweet cinnamon
    • 1 tsp coriander seeds
    • ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt
    • Avocado oil, for frying (extra virgin olive-oil, or cold-pressed coconut oil, are fine alternatives)
    • Garnish: handful fresh cilantro, chopped (or parsley, if you have the “cilantro tastes like soap” gene)

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Heat a little oil in a large sauté pan (we’re going to need space to work; a large wok is traditional but a sauté pan is convenient), and add the garlic, ginger, mustard seeds, and coriander seeds, stirring for about 2 minutes, then add the onions and chilis, stirring for another 3 minutes. The onions and chilis won’t be fully cooked yet, but that’s fine, we just needed to get them started.

    2) Add the crushed tomatoes, stirring them in, and when they get to temperature, turn the heat down to a simmer.

    3) Add the chickpeas to the pan, but separately put the chickpea water into a high-speed blender.

    4) Add the haricot beans, including the water they came in, to the high-speed blender, as well as the tomato paste and the remaining spices (including the MSG or salt), and blend on high until smooth. Add the curry paste (that’s what you’ve just made in the blender) to the pan, and stir in well.

    5) Add the cashews, stirring in well. Taste, and adjust any spices if necessary for your liking. If the onions still aren’t fully cooked, let them simmer until they are, but it shouldn’t take long.

    10almonds tip: if perchance you made it too spicy, you can add a little lime juice and the acidity will counteract the heat. Adding lemon juice, lime juice, or some kind of vinegar (depending on what works with the flavor profile of your recipe) is a good last resort to have up your sleeve for fixing a dish that got too spicy.

    6) Add the garnish, and serve—we recommend serving it with our Tasty Versatile Rice, but any carb is fine.

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • How To Reduce Your Alzheimer’s Risk

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Reduce Your Alzheimer’s Risk

    Alzheimer’s is just one cause of dementia, but it’s a very notable one, not least of all because it’s

    • a) the most common cause of dementia, and
    • b) a measurably terminal disease.

    For that reason we’re focusing on Alzheimer’s today, although most of the advice will go for avoiding dementia in general.

    First, some things not everyone knows about Alzheimer’s:

    • Alzheimer’s is a terminal disease.
    • People who get a diagnosis at age 60 are typically given 4–8 years to live.
      • Some soldier on for as many as 20, but those are rare outliers.
    • Alzheimer’s begins 20 years or more before other symptoms start to develop.
      • This makes this information very relevant for younger people approaching 40, for example.
    • Alzheimer’s accounts for 60–80% of dementia, and affects around 6% of people over 60.
      • By the age of 65, that figure is 10%. By the age of 70, however, the percentage is still about the same—this is because of the mortality rate preventing the accumulation of Alzheimer’s patients over time.

    Want to know more? Read: 2023 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts And Figures Special Report ← this is a very comprehensive downloadablereference, by the way, including a lot of information about diagnosis, treatmentpathways, and earlyinterventions.

    Speaking of diagnosis…

    Know what the symptoms are… and aren’t!

    Forgetting your car keys can be frustrating. Forgetting them frequently can be worrying.

    But: there’s a difference between forgetting your car keys, and forgetting what car keys are used for. The latter is the kind of memory loss that’s more of a red flag for Alzheimer’s.

    Similarly: forgetting someone’s name can be embarrassing. Forgetting someone’s name, asking them, forgetting asking them, asking them again, forgetting again (lather rinse repeat) is more of a red flag for Alzheimer’s.

    There are other symptoms too, some of them less commonly known:

    ❝Difficulty remembering recent conversations, names or events; apathy; and depression are often early symptoms. Communication problems, confusion, poor judgment and behavioral changes may occur next. Difficulty walking, speaking, and swallowing are common in the late stages of the disease❞

    ~ Alzheimer’s Association

    If you or a loved one are experiencing worrying symptoms: when it comes to diagnosis and intervention, sooner is a lot better than later, so do talk to your doctor.

    As for reducing your risk? First, the obvious stuff:

    The usual 5 things that go for almost everything:

    How much do lifestyle changes alone make a difference?

    They make a big difference. This 2022 population-based cohort study (so: huge sample size) looked at people who had 4–5 of the healthy lifestyle factors being studied, vs people who had 0–1 of them. They found:

    ❝A healthy lifestyle was associated with a longer life expectancy among men and women, and they lived a larger proportion of their remaining years without Alzheimer’s dementia.❞

    The numbers of years involved by the way ranged between 3 and 20 years, in terms of life expectancy and years without or with Alzheimer’s, with the average increase of healthy life years being approximately the same as the average increase in years. This is important, because:

    A lot of people think “well if I’m going to go senile, I might as well [unhealthy choice that shortens lifespan]”, but they misunderstand a critical factor:

    The unhealthy choices will reduce their healthy life years, and simply bring the unhealthy ones (and subsequent death) sooner. If you’re going to spend your last few years in ill-health, it’s better to do so at 90 than 50.

    The other thing you may already know… And a thing about it that not everyone considers:

    Keeping cognitively active is important. This much is broadly known by the general public, and to clinicians, this was the fourth “healthy factor” in the list of five (instead of the sleep that we put there, because we were listing the 5 things that go for most preventable health issues).

    Everyone leaps to mention sudoku at this point, so if that’s your thing, great, enjoy it! (This writer personally enjoys chess, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea; if it yours though, you can come join her on Chess.com and we’ll keep sharp together)

    But the more parts of your mental faculties you keep active, the better. Remember, brainpower (as with many things in health and life) is a matter of “use it or lose it” and this is on a “per skill” basis!

    What this means: doing sudoku (a number-based puzzle game) or chess (great as it may be) won’t help as much for keeping your language skills intact, for example. Given that language skills are one of the most impactful and key faculties to get lost to Alzheimer’s disease, neglecting such would be quite an oversight!

    Some good ways to keep your language skills tip-top:

    • Read—but read something challenging, if possible. It doesn’t have to be Thomas Scanlon’s What We Owe To Each Other, but it should be more challenging than a tabloid, for example. In fact, on the topic of examples:
      • This newsletter is written to be easy to read, while not shying away from complex ideas or hard science. Our mission is literally to “make [well-sourced, science-based] health and productivity crazy simple”.
      • But the academic papers that we link? Those aren’t written to be easy to read. Go read them, or at least the abstracts (in academia, an abstract is essentially an up-front summary, and is usually the first thing you’ll see when you click a link to a study or such). Challenge yourself!
    • Write—compared to reading/listening, producing language is a (related, but) somewhat separate skill. Just ask any foreign language learner which is more challenging: reading or writing!
      • Journaling is great, but writing for others is better (as then you’ll be forced to think more about it)
    • Learn a foreign language—in this case, what matters it that you’re practicing and learning, so in the scale of easy to hard, or doesn’t matter if it’s Esperanto or Arabic. Duolingo is a great free resource that we recommend for this, and they have a wide range of extensive courses these days.

    Now for the least obvious things…

    Social contact is important.

    Especially in older age, it’s easy to find oneself with fewer remaining friends and family, and getting out and about can be harder for everyone. Whatever our personal inclinations (some people being more introverted or less social than others), we are fundamentally a social species, and hundreds of thousands of years of evolution have built us around the idea that we will live our lives alongside others of our kind. And when we don’t, we don’t do as well.

    See for example: Associations of Social Isolation and Loneliness With Later Dementia

    If you can’t get out and about easily:

    • Online socialising is still socializing.
    • Online community is still community.
    • Online conversations between friends are still conversations between friends.

    If you don’t have much (or anyone) in the category of friends and family, join Facebook groups related to your interests, for example.

    Berries are surprisingly good

    ^This may read like a headline from 200,000 BCE, but it’s relevant here!

    Particularly recommended are:

    • blueberries
    • blackberries
    • raspberries
    • strawberries
    • cranberries

    We know that many of these berries seem to have a shelf-life of something like 30 minutes from time of purchase, but… Frozen and dried are perfectly good nutritionally, and in many cases, even better nutritionally than fresh.

    Read: Effect of berry-based supplements and foods on cognitive function: a systematic review

    Turmeric’s health benefits appear to include protecting against Alzheimer’s

    Again, this is about risk reduction, and turmeric (also called curcumin, which is not the same as cumin) significantly reduces the build-up of amyloid plaques in the brain. Amyloid plaques are part of the progression of Alzheimer’s.

    See for yourself: Protective Effects of Indian Spice Curcumin Against Amyloid Beta in Alzheimer’s Disease

    If you don’t like it as a spice (and even if you do, you probably don’t want to put it in your food every day), you can easily get it as a supplement in capsule form.

    Lower your homocysteine levels

    Lower our what now? Homocysteine is an amino acid used for making certain proteins, and it’s a risk factor for Alzheimer’s.

    Foods high in folate (and possible other B-vitamins) seem to lower homocysteine levels. Top choices include:

    • Leafy greens
    • Cruciferous vegetables
    • Tomatoes

    Get plenty of lutein

    We did a main feature about specifically this a little while ago, so we’ll not repeat our work here, but lutein is found in, well, the same things we just listed above, and lower levels of lutein are associated with Alzheimer’s disease. It’s not a proven causative factor—we don’t know entirely what causes Alzheimer’s, just a lot of factors that have a high enough correlation that it’d be remiss to ignore them.

    Catch up on our previous article: Brain Food? The Eyes Have It

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  • Honey vs Maple Syrup – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing honey to maple syrup, we picked the honey.

    Why?

    It was very close, as both have small advantages:
    •⁠ ⁠Honey has some medicinal properties (and depending on type, may contain an antihistamine)
    •⁠ ⁠Maple syrup is a good source of manganese, as well as low-but-present amounts of other minerals

    However, you wouldn’t want to eat enough maple syrup to rely on it as a source of those minerals, and honey has the lower GI (average 46 vs 54; for comparison, refined sugar is 65), which works well as a tie-breaker.

    (If GI’s very important to you, though, the easy winner here would be agave syrup if we let it compete, with its GI of 15)

    Read more:
    •⁠ ⁠Can Honey Relieve Allergies?
    •⁠ ⁠From Apples to Bees, and High-Fructose C’s

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

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