5 Things You Can Change About Your Personality (But: Should You?)

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There are many personality-typing systems that, with varying degrees of validity*, aim to describe a person’s personality.

*and often pseudoscience:

  • sometimes obviously so like astrology
  • sometimes dressed up in clinical words like the Meyers-Briggs
  • sometimes openly, per “this is not science but you may find it useful to frame things this way”, like the Enneagram

There is currently one kind of personality-typing system (with some minor variations) that is used in the actual field of clinical psychology, specifically under the umbrella of “trait theory”, and that is…

The “Big Five” personality traits

Also called the OCEAN or CANOE model, based on its 5 components:

  • openness to experience: inventive/curious rather than consistent/cautious
  • conscientiousness: efficient/organized rather than extravagant/careless
  • extroversion: outgoing/energetic rather than solitary/reserved
  • agreeableness: friendly/compassionate rather than critical/judgmental
  • neuroticism: sensitive/nervous rather than resilient/confident

The latter (neuroticism) is not to be confused with neurosis, which is very different and beyond the scope of today’s article.

Note that some of these seem more positive/negative than others at a glance, but really, any of these could be a virtue or a vice depending on specifics or extremity.

For scientific reference, here’s an example paper:

The Big Five Personality Factors and Personal Values

Quick self-assessment

There are of course many lengthy questionnaires for this, but in the interests of expediency:

Take a moment to rate yourself as honestly as you can, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

For example, this writer gives herself: O7, C6, E3, A8, N2 (in other words I’d say I’m fairly open, moderately conscientious, on the reserved side, quite agreeable, and quite resilient)

Now, put your rating aside (in your phone’s notes app is fine, if you hadn’t written it down already) and forget about it for the moment, because we want you to do the next exercise from scratch.

Who would you be, at your best?

Now imagine your perfect idealized self, the best you could ever be, with no constraints.

Take a moment to rate your idealized self’s personality, on a scale of 1–10, for each of those components, with 10 being highest for the named trait.

For example, this writer picks: O9, C10, E5, A8, N1.

Maybe this, or maybe your own idealized self’s personality, will surprise you. That some traits might already be perfect for you already; others might just be nudged a little here or there; maybe there’s some big change you’d like. Chances are you didn’t go for a string of 10s or 1s (though if you did, you do you; there are no wrong answers here as this one is about your preferences).

We become who we practice being

There are some aspects of personality that can naturally change with age. For example:

  • confidence/resilience will usually gradually increase with age due to life experience (politely overlook teenagers’ bravado; they are usually a bundle of nerves inside, resulting in the overcompensatory displays of confidence)
  • openness to experience may decrease with age, as we can get into a rut of thinking/acting a certain way, and/or simply consciously decide that our position on something is already complete and does not need revision.

But, we can decide for ourselves how to nudge our “Big Five” traits, for example:

  1. We can make a point of seeking out new experiences, and considering new ideas, or develop strategies for reining ourselves in
  2. We can use systems to improve our organization, or go out of our way to introduce a little well-placed chaos
  3. We can “put ourselves out there” socially, or make the decision to decline more social invitations because we simply don’t want to
  4. We can make a habit of thinking kindly of others and ourselves, or we can consciously detach ourselves and look on the cynical side more
  5. We can build on our strengths and eliminate our weaknesses, or lean into uncomfortable emotions

Some of those may provoke a “why would anyone want to…?” response, but the truth is we are all different. An artist and a police officer may have very different goals for who they want to be as a person, for example.

Interventions to change personality can and do work:

A systematic review of personality trait change through intervention

There are many ways to go about “being the change we want to see” in ourselves, and yes there can be a degree of “fake it until you make it” if that works for you, but it doesn’t have to be so. It can also simply be a matter of setting yourself reminders about the things that are most important to you.

Writer’s example: pinned above my digital workspace I have a note from my late beloved, written just under a week before death. The final line reads, “keep being the good person that you are” (on a human level, the whole note is uplifting and soothing to me and makes me smile and remember the love we shared; or to put it in clinical terms, it promotes high agreeableness, low neuroticism).

Other examples could be a daily practice of gratitude (promotes lower neuroticism), or going out of your way to speak to your neighbors (promotes higher extraversion), signing up for a new educational course (promotes higher openness) or downloading a budgeting app (promotes higher conscientiousness).

In short: be the person you want to be, and be that person deliberately, because you can.

Some resources that may help for each of the 5 traits:

  1. Curiosity Kills The Neurodegeneration
  2. How (And Why) To Train Your Pre-Frontal Cortex
  3. How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation
  4. Optimism Seriously Increases Longevity!
  5. Building Psychological Resilience (Without Undue Hardship)

Take care!

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  • Sesame & Peanut Tofu

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Yesterday we learned how to elevate tofu from “nutrition” to “nutritious tasty snack” with our Basic Baked Tofu recipe; today we’re expanding on that, to take it from “nutritious tasty snack” to “very respectable meal”.

    You will need

    For the tofu:

    • The Basic Baked Tofu that we made yesterday (consider making this to be “step zero” of today’s recipe if you don’t already have a portion in the fridge)

    For the sauce:

    • ⅓ cup peanut butter, ideally with no added sugar or salt (if allergic to peanuts specifically, use almond butter; if allergic to nuts generally, use tahini)
    • ¼ bulb garlic, grated or crushed
    • 1 tbsp tamarind paste
    • 1½ tbsp tamari sauce (or low-sodium soy sauce, if a substitution is necessary)
    • 1 tbsp sambal oelek (or sriracha sauce, if a substitution is necessary)
    • 1 tsp ground coriander
    • 1 tsp ground black pepper
    • ½ tsp ground sweet cinnamon
    • ½ tsp MSG (or else omit; do not substitute with salt in this case unless you have a particular craving)
    • zest of 1 lime

    For the vegetables:

    • 14 oz broccolini / tenderstem broccoli, thick ends trimmed (failing that, any broccoli)
    • 6 oz shelled edamame
    • 1½ tsp toasted sesame oil

    For serving:

    • 4 cups cooked rice (we recommend our Tasty Versatile Rice recipe)
    • ½ cup raw cashews, soaked in hot water for at least 5 minutes and then drained (if allergic, substitute cooked chickpeas, rinsed and drained)
    • 1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds
    • 1 handful chopped cilantro, unless you have the “this tastes like soap” gene, in which case substitute chopped parsley

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Combine the sauce ingredients in a bowl and whisk well (or use a blender if you have one that’s comfortable with this relatively small quantity of ingredients). Taste it, and adjust the ingredient ratios if you’d like more saltiness, sweetness, sourness, spiciness, umami.

    2) Prepare a bowl with cold water and some ice. Steam the broccolini and edamame for about 3 minutes; as soon as they become tender, dump them into the ice bathe to halt the cooking process. Let them chill for a few minutes, then drain, dry, and toss in the sesame oil.

    3) Reheat the tofu if necessary (an air fryer is great for this), and then combine with half of the sauce in a bowl, tossing gently to coat well.

    4) Add a little extra water to the remaining sauce, enough to make it pourable, whisking to an even consistency.

    5) Assemble; do it per your preference, but we recommend the order: rice, vegetables, tofu, cashews, sauce, sesame seeds, herbs.

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • Using the”Task Zero” approach

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Jonathan Frakes Asks You Things” Voice:

    • Do you ever find yourself in a room and wonder what you’re doing there?
    • Or set about a to-do list, but get quickly distracted by side-quests?
    • Finally get through to a person in a call center, they ask how they can help, and your mind goes blank?
    • Go to the supermarket and come out with six things, none of which were the one you came for?

    This is a “working memory” thing and you’re not alone. There’s a trick that can help keep you on track more often than not:

    Don’t try to overburden your working memory. It is very limited (this goes for everyone to a greater or lesser degree). Instead, hold only two tasks at once:

    • Task zero (what you are doing right now)
    • Task one (your next task)

    When you’ve completed task zero, task one becomes the new task zero, and you can populate a new task one from your to-do list.

    This way, you will always know what you’re doing right now, and what you’re doing next, and your focus will be so intent on task zero, that you will not get sidetracked by task seventeen!

    Happy focusing

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  • Happy Mind, Happy Life – by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

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    Let’s start with a “why”. If happiness doesn’t strike you as a worthwhile goal in and of itself, Dr. Chatterjee discusses the health implications of happiness/unhappiness.

    And, yes, including in studies where other factors were controlled for, so he shows how happiness/unhappiness does really have a causal role in health—it’s not just a matter of “breaking news: sick people are less happy”.

    The author, a British GP (General Practitioner, the equivalent of what the US calls a “family doctor”) with decades of experience, has found a lot of value in the practice of holistic medicine. For this reason, it’s what he recommends to his patients at work, in his books, his blog, and his regular spot on a popular BBC breakfast show.

    The writing style is relaxed and personable, without skimping on information density. Indeed, Dr. Chatterjee offers many pieces of holistic health advice, and dozens of practical exercises to boost your happiness and proof you against adversity.

    Because, whatever motivational speakers may say, we can’t purely “think ourselves happy”; sometimes we have real external threats and bad things in life. But, we can still improve our experience of even these things, not to mention suffer less, and get through it in better shape with a smile at the end of it.

    Bottom line: if you’d like to be happier and healthier (who wouldn’t?), then this book is a sure-fire way to set you on that path.

    Click here to check out Happy Mind, Happy Life and upgrade yours!

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  • What immunocompromised people want you to know

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    While many people in the U.S. have abandoned COVID-19 mitigations like vaccines and masking, the virus remains dangerous for everyone, and some groups face higher risks than others. Immunocompromised people—whose immune systems don’t work as well as they should due to health conditions or medications—are more vulnerable to infection and severe symptoms from the virus. 

    Public Good News spoke with three immunocompromised people about the steps they take to protect themselves and what they want others to know about caring for each other.

    [Editor’s note: The contents of these interviews have been condensed for length.]

    PGN: What measures have you been taking to protect yourself since the COVID-19 pandemic began?

    Tatum Spears, Virginia

    From less than a year old, I had serious, chronic infections and have missed huge chunks of my life. In 2020, I quit my public job, and I have not worked publicly since. 

    I have a degree in vocal performance and have been singing my whole life, but I haven’t performed publicly since 2019. I feel like a bird without wings. I had to stop traveling. Since no one wears a mask anymore, I can’t go to the movies or social outings or any party.

    All my friends live in my phone now. It’s a community of people—a lot of them are immunocompromised or disabled in some way. 

    There are a good portion of them who just take COVID-19 seriously and want to protect their health, who feel the existential abandonment and the burden of all of this. It’s really isolating having to step back from any sort of social life. I have to assess my risk every single time I leave the house.

    Gwendolyn Alyse Bishop, Washington 

    I was hit by a car when I was very young. I woke up from surgery, and doctors told me I had lost almost all of my spleen. So, I was always the sickest kid in my school.

    When COVID-19 hit, I started working from home. At first, I wore cloth masks. I didn’t really learn about KN95 masks until right around the time that COVID-19 disabled me. [Editor’s note: N95 and KN95 masks have been shown to be significantly more effective at preventing the transmission of viral particles than cloth masks.]

    I actually don’t get out much anymore because I am disabled by long COVID now, but when I do leave, I wear a respirator in all shared air spaces. My roommate and I have HEPA filters going in every room.

    And then we test. I have a Pluslife testing dock, and so we keep a weekly testing schedule with that and then test if there are any symptoms. I got reinfected [with COVID-19] last winter, and a Pluslife test helped me catch it early and get Paxlovid. [Editor’s note: Pluslife is a brand of an at-home COVID-19 nucleic acid amplification test, which has been shown to be significantly more effective at detecting COVID-19 than at-home antigen rapid tests.]

    Abby Mahler, California

    I have lupus, and in 2016, I started taking the drug hydroxychloroquine, which is an immunomodulator. I’m not as immunocompromised as some people, but I certainly don’t have a normal immune system, which has resulted in long-term infections like C. diff.

    I started masking early. My roommates and I prioritize going outside. We don’t remove our masks inside in public places. 

    We are in a pod with one other household, and the pod has agreements on the way that we interact with public space. So, we will only unmask with people who have tested ahead of time. We use Metrix, an at-home nucleic acid amplification test.

    While it’s not easy and it’s not the life that we had prior to COVID-19’s existence, it is a life that has provided us quite a lot of freedom, in the sense that we are not sick all the time. We are conscientiously making decisions that allow us to have a nice time without a monkey on our backs, which is freeing.

    PGN: What do you want people who are not immunocompromised to know?

    T.S.: Don’t be afraid to be the only person in a room wearing a mask. Your own health is worth it. And you have to realize how callous [people who don’t wear a mask are] by existing in spaces and breathing [their] air [on immunocompromised people].

    People think that vaccines are magic, but vaccines alone are not enough. I would encourage people to look at the Swiss cheese model of risk assessment. 

    Each slice of Swiss cheese has holes in it in different places, and each layer represents a layer of virus mitigation. One layer is vaccines. Another layer is masks. Then there’s staying home when you’re sick and testing.

    G.A.B.: I wish people were masking. I wish people understood how likely it is that they are also now immunocompromised and vulnerable because of the widespread immune dysregulation that COVID-19 is causing. [Editor’s note: Research shows that COVID-19 infections may cause long-term harm to the immune system in some people.]

    I want people to be invested in being good community members, and part of that is understanding that COVID-19 hits the poorest the hardest—gig workers, underpaid employees, frontline service workers, people who were already disabled or immunocompromised. 

    If people want to be good community members, they not only need to protect immunocompromised and disabled people by wearing a mask when they leave their homes, but they also need to actually start taking care of their community members and participating in mutual aid. [Editor’s note: Mutual aid is the exchange of resources and services within a community, such as people sharing extra N95 masks.]

    I spend pretty much all of my time working on LongCOVIDAidBot, which promotes mutual aid for people who have been harmed by COVID-19.

    A.M.: An important thing to think about when you’re not disabled is that it becomes a state of being for all people, if they’re lucky. You will become disabled, or you will die. 

    It is a privilege, in my opinion, to become disabled because I can learn different ways of living my life. And being able to see yourself as a body that changes over time, I hope, opens up a way of looking at your body as the porous reality that it is. 

    Some people think of themselves as being willing to make concessions or change their behavior when immunocompromised people are around, but you don’t always know when someone is immunocompromised. 

    So, if you’re not willing to change the way that you think about yourself as a person who is susceptible [to illness], then you should change the way that you consider other people around you. Wearing a mask—at the very least in public indoor spaces—means considering the unknown realities of all the people who are interacting with that space.

    This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

    Don’t Forget…

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  • The Bare-Bones Truth About Osteoporosis

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    In yesterday’s issue of 10almonds, we asked you “at what age do you think it’s important to start worrying about osteoporosis?”, and here’s the spread of answers you gave us:

    The Bare-bones Truth About Osteoporosis

    In yesterday’s issue of 10almonds, we asked you “at what age do you think it’s important to start worrying about osteoporosis?”, and here’s the spread of answers you gave us:

    At first glance it may seem shocking that a majority of respondents to a poll in a health-focused newsletter think it’ll never be an issue worth worrying about, but in fact this is partly a statistical quirk, because the vote of the strongest “early prevention” crowd was divided between “as a child” and “as a young adult”.

    This poll also gave you the option to add a comment with your vote. Many subscribers chose to do so, explaining your choices… But, interestingly, not one single person who voted for “never” had any additional thoughts to add.

    We loved reading your replies, by the way, and wish we had room to include them here, because they were very interesting and thought-provoking.

    Let’s get to the myths and facts:

    Top myth: “you will never need to worry about it; drink a glass of milk and you’ll be fine!”

    The body is constantly repairing itself. Its ability to do that declines with age. Until about 35 on average, we can replace bone mineral as quickly as it is lost. After that, we lose it by up to 1% per year, and that rate climbs after 50, and climbs even more steeply for those who go through (untreated) menopause.

    Losing 1% per year might not seem like a lot, but if you want to live to 100, there are some unfortunate implications!

    About that menopause, by the way… Because declining estrogen levels late in life contribute significantly to osteoporosis, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be of value to many for the sake of bone health, never mind the more obvious and commonly-sought benefits.

    Learn more: Management of osteoporosis in postmenopausal women: the 2021 position statement of The North American Menopause Society

    On the topic of that glass of milk…

    • Milk is a great source of calcium, which is useless to the body if you don’t also have good levels of vitamin D and magnesium.
    • People’s vitamin D levels tend to directly correlate to the level of sun where they live, if supplementation isn’t undertaken.
    • Plant-based milks are usually fortified with vitamin D (and calcium), by the way.
    • Most people are deficient in magnesium, because green leafy things don’t form as big a part of most people’s diets as they should.

    See also: An update on magnesium and bone health

    Next most common myth: “bone health is all about calcium”

    We spoke a little above about the importance of vitamin D and magnesium for being able to properly use that. But potassium is also critical:

    Read more: The effects of potassium on bone health

    While we’re on the topic…

    People think of collagen as being for skin health. And it is important for that, but collagen’s benefits (and the negative effects of its absence) go much deeper, to include bone health. We’ve written about this before, so rather than take more space today, we’ll just drop the link:

    We Are Such Stuff As Fish Are Made Of

    Want to really maximize your bone health?

    You might want to check out this well-sourced LiveStrong article:

    Bone Health: Best and Worst Foods

    (Teaser: leafy greens are in 2nd place, topped by sardines at #1—where do you think milk ranks?)

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  • The Better Brain – by Dr. Bonnie Kaplan and Dr. Julia Rucklidge

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    We’ve reviewed books about eating for brain health before, but this is the first time we’ve reviewed one written by clinical psychologists.

    What does that change? Well, it means it less focus on, say, reducing beta amyloid plaques, and more on mental health—which often has a more immediate impact in our life.

    In the category of criticisms, the authors do seem to have a bit of a double-standard. For example, they criticise psychiatrists prescribing drugs that have only undergone 12-week clinical trials, but they cite a single case-study of a 10-year-old boy as evidence for a multivitamin treating his psychosis when antipsychotics didn’t work.

    However, the authors’ actual dietary advice is nonetheless very respectable. Whole foods, nutrients taken in synergistic stacks, cut the sugar, etc.

    Bottom line: if you’d like to learn about the impact good nutrition can have on the brain’s health, ranging from diet itself to dietary supplements, this book presents many avenues to explore.

    Click here to check out “The Better Brain”, and eat for the good health of yours!

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