How Healthy People Regulate Their Emotions
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Some people seem quite unflappable, while others are consistently on the edge of a breakdown or outburst. So, how does a person regulate emotions, without suppressing them?
Eight things mentally healthy people do
Doing these things is hardest when one is actually in a disrupted emotional state, so they are all good things to get in the habit of doing at all times:
- Recognize and label emotions: identify specific emotions like anxiety, excitement, frustration, and so forth. You can track them for better emotional management, but it suffices even to recognize in the moment such things as “ok, I’m feeling anxious” etc.
- Embrace self-awareness: acknowledge emotions without judgment, using mindfulness and meditation to enhance emotional awareness and reduce reactivity—view your emotions neutrally, with a detached curiosity.
- Reframe negative thoughts: use cognitive reappraisal to change your perspective on situations, viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth.
- Express emotions constructively: use outlets like writing, or talking to someone to process emotions, preventing emotional build-up. Creating expressive art can also help many.
- Seek social support: cultivate strong relationships that provide emotional support and perspective, helping to manage stress and emotions.
- Maintain physical health: exercise, sleep, and a balanced diet support emotional resilience by improving overall well-being and brain function. It’s harder to be in the best mental health if your body is collapsing from exhaustion.
- Use stress management techniques: practice deep breathing, meditation, or other (non-chemical) relaxation methods to reduce stress and calm the mind and body.
- Seek professional help when needed: when emotions become overwhelming, consider therapy to develop personalized coping mechanisms and emotional regulation strategies.
For more details on all of these, enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
- How Are You, Really? (Alexithymia & Emotional Regulation)
- How To Manage Chronic Stress
- How To Set Anxiety Aside
- A Selection Of CBT & DBT Tools For Emotional Regulation
Take care!
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Why Fibromyalgia Is Not An Acceptable Diagnosis
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Dr. Efrat Lamandre makes the case that fibromyalgia is less of a useful diagnosis and more of a rubber stamp, much like the role historically often fulfilled by “heart failure” as an official cause of death (because certainly, that heart sure did stop beating). It’s a way of answering the question without answering the question.
…and what to look for instead
Fibromyalgia is characterized by chronic pain, tenderness, sleep disturbances, fatigue, and other symptoms. It’s often considered an “invisible” illness, because it’s the kind that’s easy to dismiss if you’re not the one carrying it. A broken leg, one can point at and see it’s broken; a respiratory infection, one can see its effects and even test for presence of the pathogen and/or its antigens. But fibromyalgia? “It hurts and I’m tired” doesn’t quite cut it.
Much like “heart failure” as a cause of death when nothing else is indicated, fibromyalgia is a diagnosis that gets applied when known causes of chronic pain have been ruled out.
Dr. Lamandre advocates for functional medicine and seeking the underlying causes of the symptoms, rather than the industry standard approach, which is to just manage the symptoms themselves with medications (of course, managing the symptoms with medications has its place; there is no need to suffer needlessly if pain relief can be used; it’s just not a sufficient response).
She notes that potential triggers for fibromyalgia include microbiome imbalances, food sensitivities, thyroid issues, nutrient deficiencies, adrenal fatigue, mitochondrial dysfunction, mold toxicity, Lyme disease, and more. Is this really just one illness? Maybe, but quite possibly not.
In short… If you are given a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, she advises that you insist doctors keep on looking, because that’s not an answer.
For more on all of this, enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
- Managing Chronic Pain (Realistically!)
- How To Eat To Beat Chronic Fatigue ← yes, including how to do so when you are chronically fatigued. In other words, this isn’t just dietary advice, but rather practical advice too
- When Painkillers Aren’t Helping, These Things Might
Take care!
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Live Life in Crescendo – by Stephen Covey and Cynthia Covey-Haller
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Stephen Covey is of course best known for his “7 Habits of Highly Effective People“, while the dozen books he wrote afterwards, not including this one, did not get the same acclaim.
Not including this one, because this one was published posthumously and, notwithstanding the order of the names on the cover, in all likelihood his daughter wrote most of.
And yet! The very spirit of this book is in defiance of 7 Habits being his “early career” magnum opus. We say “early career”, because he was 57 already when that was published, but it was one of his earlier books.
In this work the authors lay out the case for how “your most important work is always ahead of you“, and that it is perfectly possible to “live life in crescendo“, and keep on giving whatever it is that we want to give to the world.
We also learn, mostly through storytelling, of how people are infinitely more important than things, and that it is there that we should put our investments. And that while adversity may not make us stronger, it just means we may need to change our approach, to continue to be productive in whatever way is meaningful to us.
Bottom line: if ever you wonder how your future could live up to your past (in a good way), this is the book to get you thinking.
Click here to check out Live Life in Crescendo, and figure out what your next great work will be!
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Using the”Task Zero” approach
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“Jonathan Frakes Asks You Things” Voice:
- Do you ever find yourself in a room and wonder what you’re doing there?
- Or set about a to-do list, but get quickly distracted by side-quests?
- Finally get through to a person in a call center, they ask how they can help, and your mind goes blank?
- Go to the supermarket and come out with six things, none of which were the one you came for?
This is a “working memory” thing and you’re not alone. There’s a trick that can help keep you on track more often than not:
Don’t try to overburden your working memory. It is very limited (this goes for everyone to a greater or lesser degree). Instead, hold only two tasks at once:
- Task zero (what you are doing right now)
- Task one (your next task)
When you’ve completed task zero, task one becomes the new task zero, and you can populate a new task one from your to-do list.
This way, you will always know what you’re doing right now, and what you’re doing next, and your focus will be so intent on task zero, that you will not get sidetracked by task seventeen!
Happy focusing
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How To Out-Cheat “Cheat Days”
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Out-Cheating “Cheat Days” (Or Even Just “Cheat Meals”)
If you are in the habit of eating healthily, the idea of a “cheat day” probably isn’t appealing—because you simply don’t crave junk food; it’s not what your gut is used to.
Nevertheless, sometimes cheat days, or at least cheat meals, choose us rather than the other way around. If your social group is having a pizza night or meeting up at the burger bar, probably you’re going to be having a meal that’s not ideal.
So, what to do about it?
Well, first of all, relax. If it really is an exception and not a regular occurrence, it’s not going to have a big health impact. Assuming that your basic dietary requirements are taken care of (e.g. free from allergens as necessary, vegan/vegetarian if that’s appropriate for you, adhering to any religious restrictions that are important to you, etc), then you’re going to have a good time, which is what scientists call a “pro-social activity” and is not a terrible thing.
See also: Is Fast Food Really All That Bad? ← answer: yes it is, but the harm is cumulative and won’t all happen the instant you take a bite of a chicken nugget
Think positive
No, not in the “think positive thoughts” sense (though feel free, if that’s your thing), but rather: focus on adding things rather than subtracting things.
It’s said:
❝It’s not the calories in your food that make the biggest impact on your health; it’s the food in your calories❞e
…and that’s generally true. The same goes for “bad things” in the food, e.g. added sugar, salt, seed oils, etc. They really are bad! But, in this case you’re going to be eating them and they’re going to be nearly impossible to avoid in the social scenarios we described. So, forget that sunk treasure, and instead, add nutrients.
10almonds tip: added nutrients remain added nutrients, even if the sources were not glowing with health-appeal and/or you ate them alongside something unhealthy:
- Those breaded garlic mushrooms are still full of magnesium and fiber and ergothioneine.
- The chili-and-mint peas that came as an overpriced optional side-dish with your burger are still full of protein, fiber, and a stack of polyphenols.
…and so on. And, the more time you spend eating those things, the less time you spend eating the real empty-calorie foods.
Fix the flaw
We set out to offer this guide without arguing for abstemiousness or making healthy substitutions, because we assume you knew already that you can not eat things, and as for substitutions, often they are not practical, especially if dining out or ordering in.
Also, sometimes even when home-cooking something unhealthy, taking the bad ingredient out takes some of the joy out with it.
Writers example: I once incorrectly tried to solve the fat conundrum of my favorite shchi (recipe here) by trying purely steaming the vegetables instead of my usual frying/sautéing them, and let’s just say, that errant-and-swiftly-abandoned version got recorded in my nutrition-tracker app as “sad shchi”.
So instead, fix the flaw by countering it if possible:
- The meal is devoid of fiber? Preload with some dried figs (you can never have too many dried figs in your pantry)
- The meal is high in saturated fat? Enjoy fiber before/during/after, per what’s convenient for you. Fiber helps clear out excess cholesterol, which is usually the main issue with saturated fat.
- The meal is salty? Double down on your hydration before, during, and after. If that sounds like a chore, then remember, it’s more fun than getting bloated (which results, counterintuitively, from dehydration—because your body detects the salt, and panics and tries to retain as much water as possible to restore homeostasis, resulting in bloating) and hypertensive (which results from the combination of the blood having too much salt and too little water, and cells retaining too much water and pressing inwards because it is the cells themselves that are bloated). So, tending to your hydration can help mitigate all of the above.
- The meal is full of high-GI carbs? Preload with fiber, enjoy the carbs together with fats, and have something acidic (e.g. some kind of vinegar, or citrus fruit) with it if that’s a reasonable option. Yes, this does mean that a Whiskey Sour is better for your blood sugars than an Old Fashioned, by the way, and/but no, it doesn’t make either of them healthy.
- The meal is inflammatory? Doing all of the above things will help, as will eating it slowly/mindfully, which latter makes it less of a shock to your system.
See also: How To Get More Nutrition From The Same Food
Enjoy!
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Vibration Plate, Review After 6 Months: Is It Worth It?
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Is it push-button exercise, or an expensive fad, or something else entirely? Robin, from “The Science of Self-Care”, has insights:
Science & Experience
According to the science (studies cited in the video and linked-to in the video description, underneath it on YouTube), vibration therapy does have some clear benefits, namely:
- Bone health (helps with bone density, particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women)
- Muscle recovery (reduces lactate levels, aiding faster recovery)
- Joint health (reduces pain and improves function in osteoarthritis patients)
- Muscle stimulation (helps older adults maintain muscle mass)
- Cognitive function (due to increased blood flow to the brain)
And from her personal experience, the benefits included:
- Improved recovery after exercise, reducing muscle soreness and stiffness
- Reduced back pain and improved posture (not surprising, given the need for stabilizing muscles when using one of these)
- Better circulation and (likely resulting from same) skin clarity
She did not, however, notice:
- Any reduction in cellulite
- Any change in body composition (fat loss or muscle gain)
For a deeper look into these things and more, plus a demonstration of how the machine actually operates, enjoy:
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You might also like to read:
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Why Diets Make Us Fat – by Dr. Sandra Aamodt
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It’s well-known that crash-dieting doesn’t work. Restrictive diets will achieve short-term weight loss, but it’ll come back later. In the long term, weight creeps slowly upwards. Why?
Dr. Sandra Aamodt explores the science and sociology behind this phenomenon, and offers an evidence-based alternative.
A lot of the book is given over to explanations of what is typically going wrong—that is the title of the book, after all. From metabolic starvation responses to genetics to the negative feedback loop of poor body image, there’s a lot to address.
However, what alternative does she propose?
The book takes us on a shift away from focusing on the numbers on the scale, and more on building consistent healthy habits. It might not feel like it if you desperately want to lose weight, but it’s better to have healthy habits at any weight, than to have a wreck of physical and mental health for the sake of a lower body mass.
Dr. Aamodt lays out a plan for shifting perspectives, building health, and letting weight loss come by itself—as a side effect, not a goal.
In fact, as she argues (in agreement with the best current science, science that we’ve covered before at 10almonds, for that matter), that over a certain age, people in the “overweight” category of BMI have a reduced mortality risk compared to those in the “healthy weight” category. It really underlines how there’s no point in making oneself miserably unhealthy with the end goal of having a lighter coffin—and getting it sooner.
Bottom line: will this book make you hit those glossy-magazine weight goals by your next vacation? Quite possibly not, but it will set you up for actually healthier living, for life, at any weight.
Click here to check out Why Diets Make Us Fat, and live healthier and better!
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