The Midlife Mindset Blocking Your Health Goals

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How much compromise is best? Dr. Ruth Machin advises:

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good

All-or-nothing thinking, also called black-and-white or dichotomous thinking, is a cognitive distortion where people think in extremes, ignoring the grey areas in between. It can derail health goals by fostering guilt, shame, burnout, perfectionism, and often as not, completely abandoning goals when setbacks occur.

It’s particularly common in diet culture, because food is unavoidable and often tied to generational messages about thinness and restriction. Restrictive diets invariably fail long-term because the brain rebels against deprivation and has a negativity bias, focusing on perceived failures and amplifying them.

Dr. Machin points out that perfectionism tied to black-and-white thinking has been linked to depression, anxiety, emotional eating, and can worsen mood changes, including those that are common in menopause.

Her advice: notice when it happens, challenge whether your thoughts are truly black or white, and reframe them with kinder, more realistic alternatives. Focus on balance rather than perfection; for example, walking 4 days per week is better than none, 7,000 steps per day is frankly as good as 10,000, and an “80%” rule when it comes to eating rarely goes far wrong.

For more on all of this, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like:

What Flexible Dieting Really Means

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  • Play reduces stress and lifts wellbeing – and adults benefit as much as children do

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    Somewhere along the way to adulthood, time to play fades away. We tend to trade silliness and imagination for seriousness and busyness.

    Yet there is clear evidence that adults benefit from playfulness just as children do.

    Research shows that adults who engage in playful activities tend to cope better with stress, experience more positive emotions, show greater resilience when facing challenges, and report higher levels of life satisfaction.

    Our research with New Zealand families highlights how supporting unstructured play can help adults feel less stressed and more connected, while also normalising playfulness in everyday family life.

    In a world that demands constant busyness, play offers essential qualities we are at risk of losing: spontaneity, togetherness and the freedom to have fun.

    Play in adulthood can look different from play in childhood. It is less about toys or games and more about how we approach everyday experiences.

    Adult play can be physical, social, creative or imaginative. It might involve movement, music, humour, storytelling, problem-solving or simply doing something for the pleasure of it.

    What makes an activity playful is not its form, but the mindset behind it: curiosity, openness and a willingness to engage without a fixed outcome. For adults, play is often woven into hobbies and moments of exploration that sit outside work and obligation.

    Getty Images

    The benefits of play in adult life

    A recent study suggests a potential neurobiological pathway between playfulness and cognitive health in older adults.

    At its core, play provides a space to reset, allowing us to step outside pressure and performance. In doing so, it supports not only stress regulation, but sustains emotional balance and quality of life across adulthood.

    The value of playfulness also goes beyond the individual. Playful engagement in social contexts helps build shared emotional resources, shaping how people interact and cope together over time.

    Playfulness in adults is also associated with higher emotional intelligence, including stronger ability to perceive and manage emotions in social situations. Observational studies further show that adults who engage playfully are more empathetic, reciprocal and positive in their interactions with others, reinforcing social connection and belonging.

    Importantly, play has a unique ability to cut across age boundaries. When adults and children play together, even if unrelated, differences in age, role and status tend to fade, replaced by shared enjoyment and interaction.

    Research suggests these inter-generational play experiences can strengthen relationships, support wellbeing and reduce age-based stereotypes. Play becomes a shared language, bridging age divides that are often reinforced by modern living.

    As our work highlights, unstructured play remains both possible and meaningful in contemporary life, with families reporting benefits for children’s development as well as family cohesion and shared wellbeing. These findings suggest play can function as an ordinary, rather than exceptional, feature of family and community life.

    Making room for play in everyday life

    If play matters across the lifespan, the spaces we inhabit need to support it.

    Yet most public environments continue to treat play as something designed primarily for children. Research in urban design suggests the most effective playful environments for adults are those that don’t announce themselves as playgrounds, but instead embed playful possibilities into everyday settings.

    Features such as oversized steps, stepping stones, interactive seating or winding paths can invite exploration, balance and movement. In some cities, this extends to adult-sized play elements integrated into public space, such as musical swings that turn routine movement into playful interaction.

    Despite these examples, play-oriented design remains the exception rather than the norm, with most public play infrastructure still concentrated in children’s spaces. Designing cities that invite adult play as part of everyday life could be a valuable investment in inclusion, social connection and population wellbeing.

    Environments that support play are not just physical, but social. Just as urban design can invite or discourage playful movement, social norms shape whether play feels acceptable in adult life.

    When play is treated as embarrassing, indulgent or something to apologise for, it quickly disappears. But when playful behaviour is visible and unremarkable, it becomes easier for others to participate.

    Play has long been treated as something separate from adult life, confined to childhood or reserved for rare moments of leisure. Yet the evidence suggests playfulness continues to matter well beyond early development.

    Reframing play as a legitimate part of adult life opens up new ways of thinking about wellbeing across the lifespan.

    Scott Duncan, Professor of Population Health, Auckland University of Technology and Melody Smith, Professor of Health Science, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Healthy Choco-Banoffee Ice Cream

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Chocolate, banana, and coffee—quite a threesome, whether for breakfast or dessert, and this is healthy enough for breakfast while being decadent enough for dessert! With no dairy or added sugar, and lots of antioxidants, this is a healthy way to start or end your day.

    You will need

    • 3 bananas
    • 2 tbsp cocoa powder, no additives
    • 2 shots espresso, chilled
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • On standby: milk of your choice—we recommend almond or hazelnut

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Peel, slice, and freeze the bananas (let them freeze for at least 2–3 hours)

    2) Blend the ingredients, except the milk. Add milk as necessary if the mixture is too thick to blend. Be careful not to add too much at once though, or it will become less of an ice cream and more of a milkshake!

    3) Scoop into a sundae glass to serve:

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • Cherries vs Raspberries – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing cherries to raspberries, we picked the raspberries.

    Why?

    Both are great! But…

    In terms of macros, raspberries have more than 4x the fiber, for similar carbs and similar (minimal) protein, winning this round easily.

    In the category of vitamins, cherries have more vitamin A, while raspberries have more of vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B7, B9, C, E, and K, for another overwhelming win.

    Looking at minerals, cherries have (very slightly) more copper and potassium, while raspberries have rather more calcium, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, selenium, and zinc, winning a third round just as easily as the previous two.

    In other considerations, cherries have some special phytochemical benefits of their own (see the “learn more” below), while raspberries have a lot more polyphenols, so we’ll call this round a tie.

    Adding up the sections makes for a clear overall win for raspberries but by all means enjoy either or both, as diversity is good!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like:

    Cherries’ Very Healthy Wealth Of Benefits!

    Enjoy!

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  • Psychedelics and Psychotherapy – Edited by Dr. Tim Read & Maria Papaspyrou

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    A quick note on authorship, first: this book is edited by the psychiatrist and psychotherapist credited above, but after the introductory section, the rest of the chapters are written by experts on the individual topics.As such, the style will vary somewhat, from chapter to chapter.

    What this book isn’t: “try drugs and feel better!”

    Rather, the book explores the various ways in which assorted drugs can help people to—even if just briefly—shed things they didn’t know they were carrying, or otherwise couldn’t put down, and access parts of themselves they otherwise couldn’t.

    We also get to read a lot about the different roles the facilitator can play in guiding the therapeutic process, and what can be expected out of each kind of experience. This varies a lot from one drug to another, so it makes for very worthwhile reading, if that’s something you might consider pursuing. Knowledge makes for much more informed choices!

    Bottom line: if you’re curious about the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, and want a reference that’s more personal than dry clinical studies, but still more “safe and removed” than diving in by yourself, this is the book for you.

    Click here to check out Psychedelics and Psychotherapy, and expand your understanding!

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  • Eat Better, Feel Better – by Giada de Laurentis

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    In yesterday’s edition of 10almonds, we reviewed Dr. Aujla’s “The Doctor’s Kitchen“; today we’re reviewing a different book about healing through food—in this case, with a special focus on maintaining energy and good health as we get older.

    De Laurentis may not be a medical doctor, but she is a TV chef, and not only holds a lot of influence, but also has access to a lot of celebrity doctors and such; that’s reflected a lot in her style and approach here.

    The recipes are clear and easy to follow; well-illustrated and nicely laid-out.

    This cookbook’s style is less “enjoy this hearty dish of rice and beans with these herbs and spices” and more “you can serve your steak salad with white beans and sweet shallot dressing on a bed of organic quinoa if you haven’t already had your day’s serving of grains, of course”.

    It’s a little fancier, in short, and more focused on what to cut out, than what to include. On account of that, this could make it a good contrast to yesterday’s book, which had the opposite focus.

    She also recommends assorted adjuvant practices; some that are evidence-based, like intermittent fasting and meditation, and some that are not, like extreme detox-dieting, and acupuncture (which has no bearing on gut health).

    Bottom line: if you like the idea of eating for good health, and prefer a touch of celebrity lifestyle to your meals, this one’s a good book for you.

    Click here to check out “Eat Better, Feel Better”, and enjoy her unique blend of quality and minimalism!

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  • Do This Before Walking To Suffer Less (It Takes 30 Seconds)

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    This one’s for if you:

    • find walking feels more tiring than it used to
    • have difficulty keeping up with younger people
    • experience back, hip, or knee pain while walking
    • soon shuffle or feel weak when walking

    Addressing the seat of the problem

    One of the main causes of this is an age-related loss of mind-muscle connection, especially in the glutes.

    That may sound a little mystical, but what it means is: when your brain tells your nerves to tell your muscles to do a certain thing, sometimes that signal gets lost along the way.

    That’s a problem in this case because the gluteal muscles are needed for pelvic and leg alignment, so when they’re inactive, walking becomes slower and harder.

    The solution: a 30-second “glute activation” exercise before walking can “wake up” the muscles and make walking easier and less tiring.

    Three ways to do it:

    • basic version (no equipment): stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, bend your knees slightly, stick your butt out, and walk sideways 4–5 steps in each direction in a mini squat position; do this for 30 seconds.
    • band-resisted version (long band): attach a resistance band to a sturdy object; hold both ends, enter a mini squat, and take 2 slow sideways steps out and back, maintaining tension; repeat on both sides.
    • loop band version: wrap a resistance loop just above your knees, get into a mini squat, and do the above-described slow crab walk to resist the band’s pull.

    For more on each of these plus visual demonstrations, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like:

    How To Make Downhill Walking Easier On The Knees

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: