The Five Invitations – by Frank Ostaseski

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This book covers exactly what its subtitle promises, and encourages the reader to truly live life fully, something that Ostaseski believes cannot be done in ignorance of death.

Instead, he argues from his experience of decades working at a hospice, we must be mindful of death not only to appreciate life, but also to make the right decisions in life—which means responding well to what he calls, as per the title of this book, “the five invitations”.

We will not keep them a mystery; they are:

  1. Don’t wait; do the important things now
  2. Welcome everything; push away nothing
  3. Bring your whole self to the experience
  4. Find a place in the middle of things
  5. Cultivate a “don’t know” mind

Note, for example, that “do the important things now” requires knowing what is important. For example, ensuring a loved one knows how you feel about them, might be more important than scratching some item off a bucket list. And “push away nothing” does mean bad things too; rather, of course try to make life better rather than worse, but accept the lessons and learnings of the bad too, and see the beauty that can be found in contrast to it. Enjoying the fullness of life without getting lost in it; carrying consciousness through the highs and lows. And yes, approaching the unknown (which means not only death, but also the large majority of life) with open-minded curiosity and wonder.

The style of the book is narrative and personal, without feeling like a collection of anecdotes, but rather, taking the reader on a journey, prompting reflection and introspection along the way.

Bottom line: if you’d like to minimize the regrets you have in life, this book is a fine choice.

Click here to check out The Five Invitations, and answer with a “yes” to the call of life!

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Recommended

  • On This Bright Day – by Dr. Susan Thompson
  • Thinner Leaner Stronger – by Michael Matthews
    “Thinner Leaner Stronger” delivers sensible dietary and specific exercise advice for lasting lifestyle changes—not quick fixes—aimed at achieving a leaner, stronger body.

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  • The Minerals That Neutralize Viruses (While Being Harmless To Humans)

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    Researchers in Estonia and Sweden (it was a joint project, with five researchers from each country) have found a way to use titanium dioxide nanoparticles to neutralize viruses, including COVID & flu.

    Titanium dioxide, yes, the common additive to foods, cosmetics, and more (in most cases, added as a non-bleaching whitening agent—simply, titanium dioxide is body-safe, white in color, and very reflective, making it a brilliant, shiny white). Also used in sunscreens, for its excellent safety profile and again, its full-spectrum reflectiveness.

    See also: Who Screens The Sunscreens?

    How it works

    Some viruses, including coronaviruses and influenza viruses, have an outer layer that’s a lipid membrane. The researchers found (by testing against multiple viruses, and by using a control of silicotungstate polyoxymethalate nanoparticles), that the ability of titanium dioxide to bind to phospholipids (and ability that the silicotungstate polyoxymethalate doesn’t have) means that the nanoparticles bind to the virus’s outer case, thus preventing it from effectively entering human cells (which it needs to do in order to infect the host, as this is how viruses replicate themselves).

    What this means, in practical terms

    While more research will be needed to know whether this can be used in the medicinal sense, it already means that a nanoparticle spray can be used to create virus-neutralizing layers on surfaces and in air filters. This alone could greatly reduce transmission in enclosed spaces such as public transport (ranging from taxis to airplanes), as well as other places where people get packed into a small space.

    If you have an air purifier at home, keep an eye out for when improved filters arrive on the market!

    See also: What’s Lurking In Your Household Air?

    Wait, you said “minerals”; are there more?

    It seems so, but we can’t truly say for sure until they’ve been tested. However, the researchers see no reason why other small metal oxides that bind strongly to phospholipids shouldn’t work exactly the same way—which would include iron oxide (yes, as in rust) and aluminum oxide (the coating that automatically forms immediately when aluminum is exposed to oxygen (aluminum is so reactive to oxygen, that it’s almost impossible to get aluminum without an oxidized surface, unless you use something else to coat it, or cut it in an oxygen-free atmosphere and keep it there).

    You can read the paper itself here:

    Molecular mechanisms behind the anti corona virus activity of small metal oxide nanoparticles

    And on a related note (different scientists, different science, similar principle, though, using mineral nanotechnology to kill microbes):

    ❝Researchers report that laboratory tests of their nanoflower-coated dressings demonstrate antibiotic, anti-inflammatory and biocompatible properties. They say these results show these tannic acid and copper(II) phosphate sprouted nanoflower bandages are promising candidates for treating infections and inflammatory conditions.❞

    Read in full: This delicate nanoflower is downright deadly to bacteria

    Want to learn more?

    Check out:

    Move over, COVID and Flu! We Have “Hybrid Viruses” To Contend With Now

    Take care!

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  • Savoy Cabbage vs Pak Choi – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing savoy cabbage to pak choi, we picked the savoy.

    Why?

    Looking at the macros first, the savoy has a little more protein, just under 3x the carbs, and just over 3x the fiber. A modest yet respectable win for savoy.

    In terms of vitamins, savoy has more of vitamins B1, B5, B9, E, K, and choline, while pak choi has more of vitamins A, B2, B3, and C. Thus, a 6:4 win for savoy.

    When it comes to minerals, savoy has more copper, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while pak choi has more calcium, iron, and potassium. So this time, a 7:3 win for savoy.

    On the other hand, pak choi scores higher on the polyphenols side, especially in the categories of kaempferol and quercetin.

    Still, adding up the sections, we conclude this one’s an overall win for savoy cabbage. Of course, enjoy either or both, though!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Fight Inflammation & Protect Your Brain, With Quercetin

    Take care!

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  • Bacopa Monnieri: A Well-Evidenced Cognitive Enhancer

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    Bacopa monnieri: a powerful nootropic

    Bacopa monnieri is one of those “from traditional use” herbs that has made its way into science.

    It’s been used for at least 1,400 years in Ayurvedic medicine, for cognitive enhancement, against anxiety, and some disease-specific treatments.

    See: Pharmacological attributes of Bacopa monnieri extract: current updates and clinical manifestation

    What are its claimed health benefits?

    Bacopa monnieri is these days mostly sold and bought as a nootropic, and that’s what the science supports best.

    Nootropic benefits claimed:

    • Improves attention, learning, and memory
    • Reduces depression, anxiety, and stress
    • Reduces restlessness and impulsivity

    Other benefits claimed:

    • Antioxidant properties
    • Anti-inflammatory properties
    • Anticancer properties

    What does the science say?

    Those last three, the antioxidant / anti-inflammatory / anticancer properties, when something has one of those qualities it often has all three, because there are overlapping systems at hand when it comes to oxidative stress, inflammation, and cellular damage.

    Bacopa monnieri is no exception to this “rule of thumb”, and/but studies to support these benefits have mostly been animal studies and/or in vitro studies (i.e., cell cultures in a petri dish in lab conditions).

    For example:

    In the category of antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effects in the brain, sometimes results differ depending on the test population, for example:

    Anything more promising than that?

    Yes! The nootropic effects have been much better-studied in humans, and with much better results.

    For example, in this 12-week study in healthy adults, taking 300mg/day significantly improved visual information processing, learning, and memory (tested against placebo):

    The chronic effects of an extract of Bacopa monnieri on cognitive function in healthy human subjects

    Another 12-week study showed older adults enjoyed the same cognitive enhancement benefits as their younger peers:

    Effects of 12-week Bacopa monnieri consumption on attention, cognitive processing, working memory, and functions of both cholinergic and monoaminergic systems in healthy elderly volunteers

    Children taking 225mg/day, meanwhile, saw a significant reduction in ADHD symptoms, such as restlessness and impulsivity:

    The effects of standardized Bacopa monnieri extract in the management of symptoms of ADHD in children

    And as for the mood benefits, 300mg/day significantly reduced anxiety and depression in elderly adults:

    Effects of a standardized Bacopa monnieri extract on cognitive performance, anxiety, and depression in the elderly: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial

    In summary

    Bacopa monnieri, taken at 300mg/day (studies ranged from 225mg/day to 600mg/day, but 300mg is most common) has well-evidenced cognitive benefits, including:

    • Improved attention, learning, and memory
    • Reduced depression, anxiety, and stress
    • Reduced restlessness and impulsivity

    It may also have other benefits, including against oxidative stress, inflammation, and cancer, but the research is thinner and/or not as conclusive for those.

    Where to get it

    As ever, we don’t sell it (or anything else), but for your convenience, here is an example product on Amazon.

    Enjoy!

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Related Posts

  • On This Bright Day – by Dr. Susan Thompson
  • Never Too Old?

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    Age Limits On Exercise?

    In Tuesday’s newsletter, we asked you your opinion on whether we should exercise less as we get older, and got the above-depicted, below-described, set of responses:

    • About 42% said “No, we must keep pushing ourselves, to keep our youth“
    • About 29% said “Only to the extent necessary due to chronic conditions etc”
    • About 29% said “Yes, we should keep gently moving but otherwise take it easier”

    One subscriber who voted for “No, we must keep pushing ourselves, to keep our youth“ wrote to add:

    ❝I’m 71 and I push myself. I’m not as fast or strong as I used to be but, I feel great when I push myself instead of going through the motions. I listen to my body!❞

    ~ 10almonds subscriber

    One subscriber who voted for “Only to the extent necessary due to chronic conditions etc” wrote to add:

    ❝It’s never too late to get stronger. Important to keep your strength and balance. I am a Silver Sneakers instructor and I see first hand how helpful regular exercise is for seniors.❞

    ~ 10almonds subscriber

    One subscriber who voted to say “Yes, we should keep gently moving but otherwise take it easier” wrote to add:

    ❝Keep moving but be considerate and respectful of your aging body. It’s a time to find balance in life and not put yourself into a positon to damage youself by competing with decades younger folks (unless you want to) – it will take much longer to bounce back.❞

    ~ 10almonds subscriber

    These will be important, because we’ll come back to them at the end.

    So what does the science say?

    Endurance exercise is for young people only: True or False?

    False! With proper training, age is no barrier to serious endurance exercise.

    Here’s a study that looked at marathon-runners of various ages, and found that…

    • the majority of middle-aged and elderly athletes have training histories of less than seven years of running
    • there are virtually no relevant running time differences (p<0.01) per age in marathon finishers from 20 to 55 years
    • after 55 years, running times did increase on average, but not consistently (i.e. there were still older runners with comparable times to the younger age bracket)

    See: Performance, training and lifestyle parameters of marathon runners aged 20–80 years: results of the PACE-study

    The researchers took this as evidence of aging being indeed a biological process that can be sped up or slowed down by various lifestyle factors.

    See also:

    Age & Aging: What Can (And Can’t) We Do About It?

    this covers the many aspects of biological aging (it’s not one number, but many!) and how our various different biological ages are often not in sync with each other, and how we can optimize each of them that can be optimized

    Resistance training is for young people only: True or False?

    False! In fact, it’s not only possible for older people, but is also associated with a reduction in all-cause mortality.

    Specifically, those who reported strength-training at least once per week enjoyed longer lives than those who did not.

    You may be thinking “is this just the horse-riding thing again, where correlation is not causation and it’s just that healthier people (for other reasons) were able to do strength-training more, rather than the other way around?“

    …which is a good think to think of, so well-spotted if you were thinking that!

    But in this case no; the benefits remained when other things were controlled for:

    ❝Adjusted for demographic variables, health behaviors and health conditions, a statistically significant effect on mortality remained.

    Although the effects on cardiac and cancer mortality were no longer statistically significant, the data still pointed to a benefit.

    Importantly, after the physical activity level was controlled for, people who reported strength exercises appeared to see a greater mortality benefit than those who reported physical activity alone.❞

    ~ Dr. Jennifer Kraschnewski

    See the study: Is strength training associated with mortality benefits? A 15 year cohort study of US older adults

    And a pop-sci article about it: Strength training helps older adults live longer

    Closing thoughts

    As it happens… All three of the subscribers we quoted all had excellent points!

    Because in this case it’s less a matter of “should”, and more a selection of options:

    • We (most of us, at least) can gain/regain/maintain the kind of strength and fitness associated with much younger people, and we need not be afraid of exercising accordingly (assuming having worked up to such, not just going straight from couch to marathon, say).
    • We must nevertheless be mindful of chronic conditions or even passing illnesses/injuries, but that goes for people of any age
    • We also can’t argue against a “safety first” cautious approach to exercise. After all, sure, maybe we can run marathons at any age, but that doesn’t mean we have to. And sure, maybe we can train to lift heavy weights, but if we’re content to be able to carry the groceries or perhaps take our partner’s weight in the dance hall (or the bedroom!), then (if we’re also at least maintaining our bones and muscles at a healthy level) that’s good enough already.

    Which prompts the question, what do you want to be able to do, now and years from now? What’s important to you?

    For inspiration, check out: Train For The Event Of Your Life!

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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  • Vit D + Calcium: Too Much Of A Good Thing?

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    Vit D + Calcium: Too Much Of A Good Thing?

    • Myth: you can’t get too much calcium!
    • Myth: you must get as much vitamin D as possible!

    Let’s tackle calcium first:

    ❝Calcium is good for you! You need more calcium for your bones! Be careful you don’t get calcium-deficient!❞

    Contingently, those comments seem reasonable. Contingently on you not already having the right amount of calcium. Most people know what happens in the case of too little calcium: brittle bones, osteoporosis, and so forth.

    But what about too much?

    Hypercalcemia

    Having too much calcium—or “hypercalcemia”— can lead to problems with…

    • Groans: gastrointestinal pain, nausea, and vomiting. Peptic ulcer disease and pancreatitis.
    • Bones: bone-related pains. Osteoporosis, osteomalacia, arthritis and pathological fractures.
    • Stones: kidney stones causing pain.
    • Moans: refers to fatigue and malaise.
    • Thrones: polyuria, polydipsia, and constipation
    • Psychic overtones: lethargy, confusion, depression, and memory loss.

    (mnemonic courtesy of Sadiq et al, 2022)

    What causes this, and how do we avoid it? Is it just dietary?

    It’s mostly not dietary!

    Overconsumption of calcium is certainly possible, but not common unless one has an extreme diet and/or over-supplementation. However…

    Too much vitamin D

    Again with “too much of a good thing”! While keeping good levels of vitamin D is, obviously, good, overdoing it (including commonly prescribed super-therapeutic doses of vitamin D) can lead to hypercalcemia.

    This happens because vitamin D triggers calcium absorption into the gut, and acts as gatekeeper to the bloodstream.

    Normally, the body only absorbs 10–20% of the calcium we consume, and that’s all well and good. But with overly high vitamin D levels, the other 80–90% can be waved on through, and that is very much Not Good™.

    See for yourself:

    How much is too much?

    The United States’ Office of Dietary Supplements defines 4000 IU (100μg) as a high daily dose of vitamin D, and recommends 600 IU (15μg) as a daily dose, or 800 IU (20μg) if aged over 70.

    See for yourself: Vitamin D Fact Sheet for Health Professionals ← there’s quite a bit of extra info there too

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • Seriously Useful Communication Skills!

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    What Are Communication Skills, Really?

    Superficially, communication is “conveying an idea to someone else”. But then again…

    Superficially, painting is “covering some kind of surface in paint”, and yet, for some reason, the ceiling you painted at home is not regarded as equally “good painting skills” as Michaelangelo’s, with regard to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

    All kinds of “Dark Psychology” enthusiasts on YouTube, authors of “Office Machiavelli” handbooks, etc, tell us that good communication skills are really a matter of persuasive speaking (or writing). And let’s not even get started on “pick-up artist” guides. Bleugh.

    Not to get too philosophical, but here at 10almonds, we think that having good communication skills means being able to communicate ideas simply and clearly, and in a way that will benefit as many people as possible.

    The implications of this for education are obvious, but what of other situations?

    Conflict Resolution

    Whether at work or at home or amongst friends or out in public, conflict will happen at some point. Even the most well-intentioned and conscientious partners, family, friends, colleagues, will eventually tread on our toes—or we, on theirs. Often because of misunderstandings, so much precious time will be lost needlessly. It’s good for neither schedule nor soul.

    So, how to fix those situations?

    I’m OK; You’re OK

    In the category of “bestselling books that should have been an article at most”, a top-tier candidate is Thomas Harris’s “I’m OK; You’re OK”.

    The (very good) premise of this (rather padded) book is that when seeking to resolve a conflict or potential conflict, we should look for a win-win:

    • I’m not OK; you’re not OK ❌
      • For example: “Yes, I screwed up and did this bad thing, but you too do bad things all the time”
    • I’m OK; you’re not OK ❌
      • For example: “It is not I who screwed up; this is actually all your fault”
    • I’m not OK; you’re OK ❌
      • For example: “I screwed up and am utterly beyond redemption; you should immediately divorce/disown/dismiss/defenestrate me”
    • I’m OK; you’re OK ✅
      • For example: “I did do this thing which turned out to be incorrect; in my defence it was because you said xyz, but I can understand why you said that, because…” and generally finding a win-win outcome.

    So far, so simple.

    “I”-Messages

    In a conflict, it’s easy to get caught up in “you did this, you did that”, often rushing to assumptions about intent or meaning. And, the closer we are to the person in question, the more emotionally charged, and the more likely we are to do this as a knee-jerk response.

    “How could you treat me this way?!” if we are talking to our spouse in a heated moment, perhaps, or “How can you treat a customer this way?!” if it’s a worker at Home Depot.

    But the reality is that almost certainly neither our spouse nor the worker wanted to upset us.

    Going on the attack will merely put them on the defensive, and they may even launch their own counterattack. It’s not good for anyone.

    Instead, what really happened? Express it starting with the word “I”, rather than immediately putting it on the other person. Often our emotions require a little interrogation before they’ll tell us the truth, but it may be something like:

    “I expected x, so when you did/said y instead, I was confused and hurt/frustrated/angry/etc”

    Bonus: if your partner also understands this kind of communication situation, so much the better! Dark psychology be damned, everything is best when everyone knows the playbook and everyone is seeking the best outcome for all sides.

    The Most Powerful “I”-Message Of All

    Statements that start with “I” will, unless you are rules-lawyering in bad faith, tend to be less aggressive and thus prompt less defensiveness. An important tool for the toolbox, is:

    “I need…”

    Softly spoken, firmly if necessary, but gentle. If you do not express your needs, how can you expect anyone to fulfil them? Be that person a partner or a retail worker or anyone else. Probably they want to end the conflict too, so throw them a life-ring and they will (if they can, and are at least halfway sensible) grab it.

    • “I need an apology”
    • “I need a moment to cool down”
    • “I need a refund”
    • “I need some reassurance about…” (and detail)

    Help the other person to help you!

    Everything’s best when it’s you (plural) vs the problem, rather than you (plural) vs each other.

    Apology Checklist

    Does anyone else remember being forced to write an insincere letter of apology as a child, and the literary disaster that probably followed? As adults, we (hopefully) apologize when and if we mean it, and we want our apology to convey that.

    What follows will seem very formal, but honestly, we recommend it in personal life as much as professional. It’s a ten-step apology, and you will forget these steps, so we recommend to copy and paste them into a Notes app or something, because this is of immeasurable value.

    It’s good not just for when you want to apologize, but also, for when it’s you who needs an apology and needs to feel it’s sincere. Give your partner (if applicable) a copy of the checklist too!

    1. Statement of apology—say “I’m sorry”
    2. Name the offense—say what you did wrong
    3. Take responsibility for the offense—understand your part in the problem
    4. Attempt to explain the offense (not to excuse it)—how did it happen and why
    5. Convey emotions; show remorse
    6. Address the emotions/damage to the other person—show that you understand or even ask them how it affected them
    7. Admit fault—understand that you got it wrong and like other human beings you make mistakes
    8. Promise to be better—let them realize you’re trying to change
    9. Tell them how you will try to do it different next time and finally
    10. Request acceptance of the apology

    Note: just because you request acceptance of the apology doesn’t mean they must give it. Maybe they won’t, or maybe they need time first. If they’re playing from this same playbook, they might say “I need some time to process this first” or such.

    Want to really superpower your relationship? Read this together with your partner:

    Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, and, as a bonus:

    The Hold Me Tight Workbook: A Couple’s Guide for a Lifetime of Love

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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