Parent Effectiveness Training – by Dr. Thomas Gordon
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Do you want your home (or workplace, for that matter) to be a place of peace? This book literally got the author nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Can’t really get much higher praise than that.
The title is “Parent Effectiveness Training”, but in reality, the advice in the book is applicable to all manner of relationships, including:
- romantic relationships
- friends
- colleagues
- …and really any human interaction.
It covers some of the same topics we did today (and more) in much more detail than we ever could in a newsletter. It lays out formulae to use, gives plenty of examples, and/but is free from undue padding.
- Pros: this isn’t one of those “should have been an article” books. It has so much valuable content.
- Cons: It is from the 1970s* so examples may feel “dated” now.
In addition to going into much more detail on some of the topics covered in today’s issue of 10almonds, Dr. Gordon also talks in-depth about the concept of “problem-ownership”.
In a nutshell, that means: whose problem is a given thing? Who “has” what problem? Everyone needs to be on the same page about everyone else’s problems in the situation… as well as their own, which is not always a given!
Dr. Gordon presents, in short, tools not just to resolve conflict, but also to pre-empt it entirely. With these techniques, we can identify and deal with problems (together!) well before they arise.
Everybody wins.
Get your copy of “Parent Effectiveness Training” from Amazon today!
*Note: There is an updated edition on the market, and that’s what you’ll find upon following the above link. This reviewer (hi!) has a battered old paperback from the 1970s and cannot speak for what was changed in the new edition. However: if the 70s one is worth more than its weight in gold (and it is), the new edition is surely just as good, if not better!
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Cashew & Chickpea Balti
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When it comes to curries, the humble balti is perhaps the best when you don’t have all day to let something simmer. Filled with healthful spices, this one also comes complete with lots of fiber as well as healthy proteins and fats, with most of its calories coming from the nuts themselves, and the haricot paste base makes for a deliciously creamy curry without having to add anything unhealthy.
You will need
- 1 cup cashews, soaked in warm water for at least 5 minutes, and drained (if allergic, omit)
- 1 can chickpeas (keep the water)
- 1 can haricot beans (keep the water)
- 1 can crushed tomatoes
- 2 medium (or 3 small) red onions, sliced
- red or green chilis, quantity per your preference re heat, chopped
- ½ bulb garlic, crushed
- ½ oz fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped
- 1 tbsp tomato paste
- 1 tbsp garam masala
- 1 tbsp ground coriander
- 1 tbsp black pepper, coarse ground
- 2 tsp turmeric
- 1 tsp mustard seeds (if allergic, omit)
- 1 tsp sweet cinnamon
- 1 tsp coriander seeds
- ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt
- Avocado oil, for frying (extra virgin olive-oil, or cold-pressed coconut oil, are fine alternatives)
- Garnish: handful fresh cilantro, chopped (or parsley, if you have the “cilantro tastes like soap” gene)
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Heat a little oil in a large sauté pan (we’re going to need space to work; a large wok is traditional but a sauté pan is convenient), and add the garlic, ginger, mustard seeds, and coriander seeds, stirring for about 2 minutes, then add the onions and chilis, stirring for another 3 minutes. The onions and chilis won’t be fully cooked yet, but that’s fine, we just needed to get them started.
2) Add the crushed tomatoes, stirring them in, and when they get to temperature, turn the heat down to a simmer.
3) Add the chickpeas to the pan, but separately put the chickpea water into a high-speed blender.
4) Add the haricot beans, including the water they came in, to the high-speed blender, as well as the tomato paste and the remaining spices (including the MSG or salt), and blend on high until smooth. Add the curry paste (that’s what you’ve just made in the blender) to the pan, and stir in well.
5) Add the cashews, stirring in well. Taste, and adjust any spices if necessary for your liking. If the onions still aren’t fully cooked, let them simmer until they are, but it shouldn’t take long.
10almonds tip: if perchance you made it too spicy, you can add a little lime juice and the acidity will counteract the heat. Adding lemon juice, lime juice, or some kind of vinegar (depending on what works with the flavor profile of your recipe) is a good last resort to have up your sleeve for fixing a dish that got too spicy.
6) Add the garnish, and serve—we recommend serving it with our Tasty Versatile Rice, but any carb is fine.
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:
- Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!
- Three Daily Servings of Beans?
- Cashew Nuts vs Coconut – Which is Healthier?
- What Matters Most For Your Heart?
- Our Top 5 Spices: How Much Is Enough For Benefits? ← we hit 5/5 again today!
Take care!
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Whole – by Dr. T. Colin Campbell
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Most of us have at least a broad idea of what we’re supposed to be eating, what nutrients we should be getting. Many of us look at labels, and try to get our daily dose of this and that and the other.
And what we don’t get from food? There are supplements.
Dr. Campbell thinks we can do better:
Perhaps most critical in this book, where it stands out from others (we may already know, for example, that we should try to eat diverse plants and whole foods) is its treatment of why many supplements aren’t helpful.
We tend to hear “supplements are a waste of money” and sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t. How to know the difference?
Key: things directly made from whole food sources will tend to be better. Seems reasonable, but… why? The answer lies in what else those foods contain. An apple may contain a small amount of vitamin C, less than a vitamin C tablet, but also contains a whole host of other things—tiny phytonutrients, whose machinations are mostly still mysteries to us—that go with that vitamin C and help it work much better. Lab-made supplements won’t have those.
There’s a lot more to the book… A chunk of which is a damning critique of the US healthcare system (the author argues it would be better named a sicknesscare system). We also learn about getting a good balance of macro- and micronutrients from our diet rather than having to supplement so much.
The style is conversational, while not skimping on the science. The author has had more than 150 papers published in peer-reviewed journals, and is no stranger to the relevant academia. Here, however, he focuses on making things easily comprehensible to the lay reader.
In short: if you’ve ever wondered how you’re doing at getting a good nutritional profile, and how you could do better, this is definitely the book for you.
Click here to check out “Whole” on Amazon today, and level up your daily diet!
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Treat Your Own Hip – by Robin McKenzie
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We previously reviewed another book by this author in this series, “Treat Your Own Knee”, and today it’s the same deal, but for the hip.
A quick note about the author first: a physiotherapist and not a doctor, but with over 40 years of practice to his name and 33 letters after his name (CNZM OBE FCSP (Hon) FNZSP (Hon) Dip MDT Dip MT), he seems to know his stuff.
He takes the reader through first diagnosing the nature of the pain (and how to rule out, for example, a back problem manifesting as hip pain, rather than a hip problem per se—and points to his own “Treat Your Own Back” manual if it turns out that that’s your problem instead), and then treating it. A bold claim, the kind that many people’s lawyers don’t let them make, but once again, this guy is pretty much the expert when it comes to this. Ask any other physiotherapist, and they probably have several of his books on their shelf.
The treatments recommend are tailored to the results of various diagnostic flowcharts; essentially troubleshooting your hip. However, they mainly consist of exercises (perhaps the greatest value of the book), and lifestyle adjustments (these ones, 10almonds readers probably know already, but a reminder never hurts).
The explanations are thorough while still being comprehensible, and there is zero sensationalization or fluff. It is straight to the point, and clearly illustrated too with diagrams and photographs.
Bottom line: if you’re looking for a “one-stop shop” for diagnosing and treating your bad hip, then this is it.
Click here to check out Treat Your Own Hip, and indeed Treat Your Own Hip!
PS: if you have musculoskeletal problems elsewhere in your body, you might want to check out the rest of his body parts series (neck, back, shoulder, wrist, knee, ankle) for the one that’s tailored to your specific problem.
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How & Why Non-Sleep Deep Rest Works (And What Activities Trigger The Same State)
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Stress is a natural response that evolved over thousands of years to help humans meet challenges by priming the body and mind for action. However, chronic stress is harmful, as it diverts energy away from essential processes like cell maintenance and repair, leading to deterioration of health (physical and mental).
Counteracting this requires intentional periods of deep rest… But how?
Parasympathetic Response
Practices as diverse as mindfulness meditation, yoga, prayer, tai chi, qigong, knitting, painting, gardening, and sound baths can help induce states of deep rest—these days often called “Non-Sleep Deep Rest” (NSDR), to differentiate it from deep sleep.
How it works: these activities send signals to the brain that the body is safe, initiating biological changes that…
- protect chromosomes from DNA damage
- promote cellular repair, and
- enhance mitochondrial function.
If we then (reasonably!) conclude from this: “so, we must embrace moments of stillness and mindfulness, and allow ourselves to experience the ease and safety of the present”, that may sound a little wishy-washy, but the neurology of it is clear, the consequences of that neurological response on every living cell in the body are also clear, so by doing NSDR (whether by yoga nidra or knitting or something else) we can significantly improve our overall well-being.
Note: the list of activities above is far from exhaustive, but do be aware that this doesn‘t mean any activity you enjoy and do to unwind will trigger NSDR. On the contrary, many activities you enjoy and do to unwind may trigger the opposite, a sympathetic nervous system response—watching television is a common example of this “wrong choice for NSDR”. Sure, it can be absorbing and a distraction from your daily stressors, but it also can be exciting (both cognitively and neurologically and thus also physiologically), which is the opposite of what we want.
For more on all of this, enjoy:
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!
Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
Non-Sleep Deep Rest: A Neurobiologist’s Take
Take care!
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How the stress of playing chess can be fatal
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The death of a chess player in the middle of a match at the world’s most prestigious competition may have shocked those who view the game as a relaxing pastime. Kurt Meier, 67, collapsed during his final match in the tournament and died in hospital later that day. But chess, like any other game or sport, can lead to an immense amount of stress, which can be bad for a competitor’s physical health too.
We tend to associate playing sport or games with good health and well-being. And there are a countless number of studies showing playing games has an association with feeling happier. While this argument is true for recreational players, the story can be different for the elite, where success and failure are won and lost by the finest margins and where winning can mean funding and a future, and losing can mean poverty and unemployment. If this is the case, can being successful at a sport or game actually be bad for you?
Competitive anxiety
Elite competition can be stressful because the outcome is so important to the competitors. We can measure stress using a whole range of physiological indicators such as heart rate and temperature, and responses such as changes in the intensity of our emotions.
Emotions provide a warning of threat. So if you feel that achieving your goal is going to be difficult, then expect to feel intense emotions. The leading candidate that signals we are experiencing stress is anxiety, characterised by thoughts of worry, fears of dread about performance, along with accompanying physiological responses such as increased heart rate and sweaty palms. If these symptoms are experienced regularly or chronically, then this is clearly detrimental to health.
This stress response is probably not restricted to elite athletes. Intense emotions are linked to trying to achieve important goals and while it isn’t the only situation where it occurs, it is just very noticeable in sport.
The causes of stress
It makes more sense to focus on what the causes of stress are rather than where we experience it. The principle is that the more important the goal is to achieve, then the greater the propensity for the situation to intensify emotions.
Emotions intensify also by the degree of uncertainty and competing, at whatever level of a sport, is uncertain when the opposition is trying its hardest to win the contest and also has a motivation to succeed. The key point is that almost all athletes at any level can suffer bouts of stress, partly due to high levels of motivation.
A stress response is also linked to how performance is judged and reported. Potentially stressful tasks tend to be ones where performance is public and feedback is immediate. In chess – as with most sporting contests – we see who the winner is and can start celebrating success or commiserating failure as soon as the game is over.
There are many tasks which have similar features. Giving a speech in public, taking an academic examination, or taking your driving test are all examples of tasks that can illicit stress. Stress is not restricted to formal tasks but can also include social tasks. Asking a potential partner for a date, hand in marriage, and meeting the in-laws for the first time can be equally stressful.
Winning a contest or going on a date relate to higher-order goals about how we see ourselves. If we define ourselves as “being a good player” or “being attractive or likeable” then contrasting information is likely to associate with unpleasant emotions. You will feel devastated if you are turned down when asking someone out on a date, for instance, and if this was repeated, it could lead to reduced self-esteem and depression.
The key message here is to recognise what your goals are and think about how important they are. If you want to achieve them with a passion and if the act of achieving them leads to intense and sometimes unwanted emotions, then it’s worth thinking about doing some work to manage these emotions.
Andrew Lane, Professor in Sport and Learning, University of Wolverhampton
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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If you’re worried about inflammation, stop stressing about seed oils and focus on the basics
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You’ve probably seen recent claims online seed oils are “toxic” and cause inflammation, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. But what does the research say?
Overall, if you’re worried about inflammation, cancer, diabetes and heart disease there are probably more important things to worry about than seed oils.
They may or may not play a role in inflammation (the research picture is mixed). What we do know, however, is that a high-quality diet rich in unprocessed whole foods (fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains and lean meats) is the number one thing you can to do reduce inflammation and your risk of developing diseases.
Rather than focusing on seed oils specifically, reduce your intake of processed foods more broadly and focus on eating fresh foods. So don’t stress out too much about using a bit of seed oils in your cooking if you are generally focused on all the right things.
What are seed oils?
Seed oils are made from whole seeds, such as sunflower seeds, flax seeds, chia seeds and sesame seeds. These seeds are processed to extract oil.
The most common seed oils found at grocery stores include sesame oil, canola oil, sunflower oil, flaxseed oil, corn oil, grapeseed oil and soybean oil.
Seed oils are generally affordable, easy to find and suitable for many dishes and cuisines as they often have a high smoke point.
However, most people consume seed oils in larger amounts through processed foods such as biscuits, cakes, chips, muesli bars, muffins, dipping sauces, deep-fried foods, salad dressings and margarines.
These processed foods are “discretionary”, meaning they’re OK to have occasionally. But they are not considered necessary for a healthy diet, nor recommended in our national dietary guidelines, the Australian Guide for Healthy Eating.
Seed oils often have a high smoke point.
Gleb Usovich/ShutterstockI’ve heard people say seed oils ‘promote inflammation’. Is that true?
There are two essential types of omega fatty acids: omega-3 and omega-6. These are crucial for bodily functions, and we must get them through our diet since our bodies cannot produce them.
While all oils contain varying levels of fatty acids, some argue an excessive intake of a specific omega-6 fatty acid in seed oils called “linoleic acid” may contribute to inflammation in the body.
There is some evidence linoleic acid can be converted to arachidonic acid in the body and this may play a role in inflammation. However, other research doesn’t support the idea reducing dietary linoleic acid affects the amount of arachidonic acid in your body. The research picture is not clear cut.
But if you’re keen to reduce inflammation, the best thing you can do is aim for a healthy diet that is:
- high in antioxidants (found in fruits and vegetables)
- high in “healthy”, unsaturated fatty acids (found in fatty fish, some nuts and olive oil, for example)
high in fibre (found in carrots, cauliflower, broccoli and leafy greens) and prebiotics (found in onions, leeks, asparagus, garlic and legumes)
low in processed foods.
If reducing inflammation is your goal, it’s probably more meaningful to focus on these basics than on occasional use of seed oils.
Choose foods high in fibre (like many vegetables) and prebiotics (like legumes).
Kiian Oksana/ShutterstockWhat about seed oils and heart disease, cancer or diabetes risk?
Some popular arguments against seed oils come from data from single studies on this topic. Often these are observational studies where researchers do not make changes to people’s diet or lifestyle.
To get a clearer picture, we should look at meta-analyses, where scientists combine all the data available on a topic. This helps us get a better overall view of what’s going on.
A 2022 meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials investigated the relationship between supplementation with omega-6 fatty acid (often found in seed oils) and cardiovascular disease risk (meaning disease relating to the heart and blood vessels).
The researchers found omega-6 intake did not affect the risk for cardiovascular disease or death but that further research is needed for firm conclusions. Similar findings were observed in a 2019 review on this topic.
The World Health Organization published a review and meta-analysis in 2022 of observational studies (considered lower quality evidence compared to randomised controlled trials) on this topic.
They looked at omega-6 intake and risk of death, cardiovascular disease, breast cancer, mental health conditions and type 2 diabetes. The findings show both advantages and disadvantages of consuming omega-6.
The findings reported that, overall, higher intakes of omega-6 were associated with a 9% reduced risk of dying (data from nine studies) but a 31% increased risk of postmenopausal breast cancer (data from six studies).
One of the key findings from this review was about the ratio of omega-3 fatty acids to omega-6 fatty acids. A higher omega 6:3 ratio was associated with a greater risk of cognitive decline and ulcerative colitis (an inflammatory bowel condition).
A higher omega 3:6 ratio was linked to a 26% reduced risk of depression. These mixed outcomes may be a cause of confusion among health-conscious consumers about the health impact of seed oils.
Overall, the evidence suggests that a high intake of omega-6 fatty acids from seed oils is unlikely to increase your risk of death and disease.
However, more high-quality intervention research is needed.
The importance of increasing your omega-3 fatty acids
On top of the mixed outcomes, there is clear evidence increasing the intake of omega-3 fatty acids (often found in foods such as fatty fish and walnuts) is beneficial for health.
While some seed oils contain small amounts of omega-3s, they are not typically considered rich sources.
Flaxseed oil is an exception and is one of the few seed oils that is notably high in alpha-linolenic acid (sometimes shortened to ALA), an omega-3 fatty acid.
If you are looking to increase your omega-3 intake, it’s better to focus on other sources such as fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, sardines), chia seeds, hemp seeds, walnuts, and algae-based supplements. These foods are known for their higher omega-3 content compared to seed oils.
The bottom line
At the end of the day, it’s probably OK to include small quantities of seed oils in your diet, as long as you are mostly focused on eating fresh, unprocessed foods.
The best way to reduce your risk of inflammation, heart disease, cancer or diabetes is not to focus so much on seed oils but rather on doing your best to follow the Australian Guide for Healthy Eating.
Lauren Ball, Professor of Community Health and Wellbeing, The University of Queensland and Emily Burch, Lecturer, Southern Cross University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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