Own Your Past Change Your Future – by Dr. John Delony

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This one is exactly what it says on the cover. It’s reminiscent in its premise of the more clinically-presented Tell Yourself A Better Lie (an excellent book, which we reviewed previously) but this time presented in a much more casual fashion.

Dr. Delony favors focusing on telling stories, and indeed this book contains many anecdotes. But also he bids the reader to examine our own stories—those we tell ourselves about ourselves, our past, people around us, and so forth.

To call those things “stories” may create a knee-jerk response of feeling like it is an accusation of dishonesty, but rather, it is acknowledging that experiences are subjective, and our framing of narratives can vary.

As for reframing things and taking control, his five-step-plan for doing such is:

  1. Acknowledge reality
  2. Get connected
  3. Change your thoughts
  4. Change your actions
  5. Seek redemption

…which each get a chapter devoted to them in the book.

You may notice that these are very similar to some of the steps in 12-step programs, and also some religious groups and/or self-improvement groups. In other words, this may not be the most original approach, but it is a tried-and-tested one.

Bottom line: if you feel like your life needs an overhaul, but don’t want to wade through a bunch of psychology to do it, then this book could be it for you.

Click here to check out Own Your Past To Change Your Future, and do just that!

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Recommended

  • The Science and Technology of Growing Young – by Sergey Young
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    Kidney beans triumph with higher protein and fiber levels, and outpace fava beans in key vitamins and minerals—enjoy the nutritious win!

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  • For tennis star Destanee Aiava, borderline personality disorder felt like ‘a death sentence’ – and a relief. What is it?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Last week, Australian Open player Destanee Aiava revealed she had struggled with borderline personality disorder.

    The tennis player said a formal diagnosis, after suicidal behaviour and severe panic attacks, “was a relief”. But “it also felt like a death sentence because it’s something that I have to live with my whole life”.

    A diagnosis is often associated with therapeutic nihilism. This means it’s viewed as impossible to treat, and can leave clinicians and people with the condition in despair.

    In fact, people with this disorder can and do recover with adequate support. Understanding it is caused by trauma is fundamental to effectively treat this complex and poorly understood mental illness.

    A stigmatising diagnosis

    The name “borderline personality disorder” is confusing and adds greatly to the stigma around it.

    Doctors first used “borderline” to describe a condition they believed was in-between two others: neurosis and psychosis.

    But this implies the condition is not real in itself, and can invalidate the suffering and distress the person and their loved ones experience.

    “Personality disorder” is a judgemental term that describes the very essence of a person – their personality – as flawed.

    What is borderline personality disorder?

    People with the disorder can express a range of symptoms, but high levels of anxiety – including panic attacks – are usually constant.

    Symptoms cluster around four main areas:

    • high impulsivity (leading to suicidal thoughts and behaviour, self-harm and other risky behaviours)
    • unstable or poor sense of self (including low self-esteem)
    • mood disturbances (including intense, inappropriate anger, episodic depression or mania)
    • problems in relationships.

    People with the disorder greatly fear being abandoned and as a result, commonly have distressing difficulties in interpersonal relationships.

    This creates a “push-pull” dynamic with loved ones, as people with borderline personality disorder seek closeness, but push away those they love to test the strength of the relationship.

    For example, they may escalate a small issue into a major disagreement to see if the loved one will “stick with them” and reinforce their love.

    Conversely, if a loved one appears distant or fed up – for example, is thinking about ending the relationship – the person with borderline personality disorder will make major efforts to “pull” them back. This might look like a flurry of messages, expressions of despair, or even suicidal behaviours.

    An annoyed woman looks at her sad girlfriend sitting next to her.
    People with borderline personality disorder greatly fear being abandoned, making relationship issues common. Drazen Zigic/Shutterstock

    Who does it affect?

    The disorder affects one in 100 Australians, although this is likely a conservative estimate, as diagnosis is based on the most severe symptoms.

    Women are much more likely to be diagnosed with it than men – but why this is so remains a major debate, with political and sociological factors playing a role in making psychiatric diagnoses. Symptoms usually begin in the mid to late teens.

    While an initial response to receiving a diagnosis can be comforting for some, it is commonly seen as a chronic, relapsing condition, meaning symptoms can return after a period of improvement.

    Borderline personality disorder can fluctuate in intensity and mimic other conditions such as major depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and psychosis.

    Estimates suggest 26% of presentations at emergency departments for mental health issues are by people diagnosed with personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder.

    What causes it?

    The main cause for borderline personality disorder appears to be trauma in early life, compounded by repeated traumas later.

    Early life trauma can lead to biological changes in the brain that cause behavioural, emotional or cognitive shifts, leading to social and relationship issues. This is known as complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

    Aiava has acknowledged the disorder is “mainly from childhood trauma”, although she has not given details about her specific experiences.

    People with borderline personality disorder usually have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. But complex post-traumatic stress disorder doesn’t always result in a borderline personality disorder diagnosis.

    Although the two disorders are not identical, they share many similarities, in particular that they are both caused by complex and repeated trauma.

    However those with borderline personality disorder tend to experience more rage, emotional disturbances and have a greater fear of abandonment.

    They also face greater stigma, whereas the term “complex post-traumatic stress disorder” doesn’t carry the same negative connotations and focuses on the cause of the condition – trauma – rather than “personality”, leading to better treatment options.

    The recognition of the major role of trauma in borderline personality disorder is an important step forward in treating the disorder. But because of the stigma associated with it, using the diagnosis of complex post-traumatic stress disorder maybe a better step forward in the future.

    Can it be treated?

    There are many effective psychological therapies and other treatments for people with borderline personality disorder or complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

    For example, dialectical behavioural therapy is a type of cognitive therapy that helps people learn skills such as tolerating distress, managing relationships, regulating emotions and practising mindfulness.

    The treatment of people with post-traumatic stress disorder, including victims of war and rape, has taught us a lot about how to treat complex, underlying trauma. For example, with trauma-focused psychological therapies.

    Other new treatments, such as eye movement desensitisation and reprogramming, have also shown to be effective.

    Many people with borderline personality disorder who receive treatment and have supportive relationships are able to “outgrow” the condition. Others may need to continue to manage symptoms while pursuing a good quality of life.

    Treating trauma, not personality

    Rethinking borderline personality disorder as a trauma disorder enables a more effective and understanding approach for those with it.

    Understanding what trauma does to the brain means newer, targeted medications can also be used.

    For example, our research has shown how the brain’s glutamate system – the chemicals responsible for learning and making sense of one’s environment – is overactive in people with complex post-traumtic stress disorder. Medications that work on the glutumate system may therefore help alleviate borderline personality disorder symptoms.

    Educating partners and families about borderline personality disorder, providing them support and co-designing crisis strategies are also important parts of total care. Preventing early life trauma is also critical.

    If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

    Jayashri Kulkarni, Professor of Psychiatry, Monash University and Eveline Mu, Research Fellow in Women’s Mental Health, Monash University

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Red Lentils vs Oats – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing red lentils to oats, we picked the oats.

    Why?

    In terms of macros, oats have more protein, carbs, fiber, and even a little fat—mostly healthy mono- and polyunsaturated fats, thus making them the more nutritionally dense. That said, red lentils have the lower glycemic index, (low GI compared to oats’ medium GI) which offsets that, so we’ll call this category a tie.

    In the category of vitamins, red lentils have more of vitamins B6, B9, and choline, while oats have more of vitamins B1, B2, and B5. Another tie!

    When it comes to minerals, however, we have a tiebreaker category: red lentils have more selenium, while oats have more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, and zinc. An easy win for oats this time!

    So, thanks to the minerals, oats are the clear winner in total. But by all means, enjoy either or both; diversity is good!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    The Best Kind Of Fiber For Overall Health? ← it’s β-glucan, the kind find in oats!

    Enjoy!

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  • Which Vitamin Brands Are Effective?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝As far as specific brands of vitamin…some are good some not. I don’t like being told what buy but I guess I want to know which are effective. Could there be some brands recognized as good given to us?❞

    The most reliable brands are generally those with the most transparency:

    • They tell you what is in the supplement; not just the active ingredient(s), with doses, but also any buffers etc.
    • They tell you, in the case of ingredients that can have various different sources, what the source is.
    • They are, ideally, well-certified and independently tested.

    Our previous sponsor Ora is a good example of a company that does this.

    Additionally, in terms of bioavailability, generally speaking the order of preference goes liquid > capsule/softgel > tablet, so that’s something to look out for, too.

    Note: “liquid” includes powders that are ingested when dissolved/suspended in water, and also includes tablets that become a liquid when dissolved/dispersed in water and ingested that way.

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Related Posts

  • The Science and Technology of Growing Young – by Sergey Young
  • Scarcity Brain – by Michael Easter

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    After a brief overview of theevolutionary psychology underpinnings of the scarcity brain, the author grounds the rest of this book firmly in the present. He explains how the scarcity loop hooks us and why we crave more, and what factors can increase or lessen its hold over us.

    As for what things we are wired to consider “potentially scarce any time now” no matter how saturated we are in them, he looks at an array of categories, each with their nuances. From the obvious such as “food” and “stuff“, to understandable “information” and “happiness“, to abstractions like “influence“, he goes to many sources—experts of various kinds from around the world—to explore how we can know “how much is enough”, and—which can be harder—act accordingly.

    The key, he argues, is not in simply wanting less, but in understanding why we crave more in the first place, get rid of our worst habits, and use what we already have, better.

    Bottom line: if you feel a gnawing sense of needing more “to be on the safe side”, this book can help you to be a little more strategic (and at the same time, less stressed!) about that.

    Click here to check out Scarcity Brain, and manage yours more mindfully!

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  • Peach vs Passion Fruit – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing peach to passion fruit, we picked the passion fruit.

    Why?

    It wasn’t close!

    In terms of macros, passion fruit has more than 2x the protein, 2x the carbs, and 7x the fiber. That’s a big difference!

    In the category of vitamins, peach has more of vitamins B1, B5, E, and K, while passion fruit has more of vitamins A, B2, B3, B6, B7, B9, C, and choline. Again, not close.

    When it comes to minerals, peach has more manganese and zinc, while passion fruit has more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, and selenium—and most of those margins are “by multiples”, not just a fraction more. Again, a clear winner here.

    Adding up these three overwhelming wins for passion fruit makes for an obvious total win for passion fruit.

    As ever, enjoy both, but if you’re going to pick one, then one of these fruits is extra passionate about bringing you nutrients.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Top 8 Fruits That Prevent & Kill Cancer ← peaches are on this list!

    Take care!

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  • Sunflower Oil vs Canola Oil – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing sunflower oil to canola oil, we picked the sunflower oil.

    Why?

    They’re both terrible! But canola oil is worse. Sunflower oil is marketed as being higher in polyunsaturated fats, which it is, albeit not by much.

    Canola oil is very bad for the heart, and sunflower oil is only moderately bad for the heart, to the point that it can be heart-neutral if used sparingly.

    As seed oils, they are both sources of vitamin E, but you’d need to drink a cup of oil to get your daily dose, so please just eat some seeds (or nuts, or fruit, or something) instead. It can even be sunflower seeds if you like! Rapeseed* itself (the seed that canola oil is made from) isn’t really sold as a foodstuff, so that one’s less of an option.

    *Fun fact: if you’re N. American and wondering what this “rapeseed” is, know that most of the rest of the Anglosphere calls canola oil “rapeseed oil”, as it’s made from rapeseed, which comes from a plant called rape, whose name is unrelated to the crime of the same name, and comes from rāpa, the Latin word for turnip. Anyway, “canola” is a portmanteau of “Canadian” and “Ola” meaning oil, and is a trademark that has made its way into generic use throughout N. America, as a less alarming name.

    Back to health matters: while sunflower seeds are healthy in moderation, the ultraprocessed and refined sunflower and canola oils are not.

    Canola oil has also been found to be implicated in age-related cognitive decline, whereas sunflower oil has had mixed results in that regard.

    In summary

    Sunflower oil is relatively, and we stress relatively, healthier than canola oil. Please use a healthier oil than either if you can. Olive oil is good for most things, and if you need something with a higher smoke point (and/or less distinctive flavor), consider avocado oil, which is also very healthy and whose smoke point is even higher than the seed oils we’ve been discussing today.

    Want to know more?

    Check out:

    Avocado Oil vs Olive Oil – Which is Healthier?

    Enjoy!

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