Mind Gym – by Gary Mack and David Casstevens

10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

While this book seems to be mostly popular amongst young American college athletes and those around them (coaches, parents, etc) its applicability is a lot wider than that.

The thing is, as this book details, we don’t have to settle for less than optimal in our training—whatever “optimal” means for us, at any stage of life.

The style is largely narrative, and conveys a lot of ideas through anecdotes. They are probably true, but whether they occured entirely as-written or have been polished or embellished is not so important, as to to give food for thought, and reflection on how we can hone what we’re doing to work the best for us.

Nor is it just a long pep-talk, though it certainly has a motivational aspect. But rather, it covers also such things as the seven critical areas that we need to excel at if we want to be mentally robust, and—counterintuitively—the value of slowing down sometimes. The authors also talk about the importance of love, labor, and ongoing learning if we want a fulfilled life.

Bottom line: if you are engaged with any sport or sport-like endeavor that you’d like to be better at, this book will sharpen your training and development.

Click here to check out Mind Gym, and optimize yours!

Don’t Forget…

Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

Recommended

  • Stick with It – by Dr. Sean Young
  • Natural Remedies and Foods for Osteoarthritis
    Q&A Thursday: Dive into osteoarthritis solutions, bone health, and anti-inflammatory diets with today’s burning questions at 10almonds.

Learn to Age Gracefully

Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!

    Yesterday, we asked you for your opinions on antidepressants, and got the above-depicted, below-described, set of responses:

    • Just over half of respondents said “They clearly help people, but should not be undertaken lightly”
    • Just over a fifth of respondents said “They may help some people, but the side effects are alarming”
    • Just under a sixth of respondents said “They’re a great way to correct an imbalance of neurochemicals”
    • Four respondents said “They are no better than placebo, and are more likely to harm”
    • Two respondents said “They merely mask the problem, and thus don’t really help”

    So what does the science say?

    ❝They are no better than placebo, and are more likely to harm? True or False?❞

    True or False depending on who you are and what you’re taking. Different antidepressants can work on many different systems with different mechanisms of action. This means if and only if you’re not taking the “right” antidepressant for you, then yes, you will get only placebo benefits:

    Rather than dismissing antidepressants as worthless, therefore, it is a good idea to find out (by examination or trial and error) what kind of antidepressant you need, if you indeed do need such.

    Otherwise it is like getting a flu shot and being surprised when you still catch a cold!

    ❝They merely mask the problem, and thus don’t really help: True or False?❞

    False, categorically.

    The problem in depressed people is the depressed mood. This may be influenced by other factors, and antidepressants indeed won’t help directly with those, but they can enable the person to better tackle them (more on this later).

    ❝They may help some people, but the side-effects are alarming: True or False?❞

    True or False depending on more factors than we can cover here.

    Side-effects vary from drug to drug and person to person, of course. As does tolerability and acceptability, since to some extent these things are subjective.

    One person’s dealbreaker may be another person’s shrugworthy minor inconvenience at most.

    ❝They’re a great way to correct an imbalance of neurochemicals: True or False?❞

    True! Contingently.

    That is to say: they’re a great way to correct an imbalance of neurochemicals if and only if your problem is (at least partly) an imbalance of neurochemicals. If it’s not, then your brain can have all the neurotransmitters it needs, and you will still be depressed, because (for example) the other factors* influencing your depression have not changed.

    *common examples include low self-esteem, poor physical health, socioeconomic adversity, and ostensibly bleak prospects for the future.

    For those for whom the problem is/was partly a neurochemical imbalance and partly other factors, the greatest help the antidepressants give is getting the brain into sufficient working order to be able to tackle those other factors.

    Want to know more about the different kinds?

    Here’s a helpful side-by-side comparison of common antidepressants, what type they are, and other considerations:

    Mind | Comparing Antidepressants

    Want a drug-free approach?

    You might like our previous main feature:

    The Mental Health First-Aid That You’ll Hopefully Never Need

    Take care!

    Share This Post

  • Life Is in the Transitions – by Bruce Feiler

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Change happens. Sometimes, because we choose it. More often, we don’t get a choice.

    Our bodies change; with time, with illness, with accident or incident, or even, sometimes, with effort. People in our lives change; they come, they go, they get sick, they die. Our working lives change; we get a job, we lose a job, we change jobs, our jobs change, we retire.

    Whether we’re undergoing cancer treatment or a religious conversion, whether our families are growing or down to the last few standing, change is inescapable.

    Our author makes the case that on average, we each undergo at least 5 major “lifequakes”; changes that shake our lives to the core. Sometimes one will come along when we’ve barely got back on our feet from the previous—if we have at all.

    What, then, to do about this? We can’t stop change from occurring, and some changes aren’t easy to “roll with”. Feiler isn’t prescriptive about this, but rather, descriptive:

    By looking at the stories of hundreds of people he interviewed for this book, he looks at how people pivoted on the spot (or picked up the pieces!) and made the best of their situation—or didn’t.

    Bottom line: zooming out like this, looking at many people’s lives, can remind us that while we don’t get to choose what winds we get swept by, we at least get to choose how we set the sails. The examples of others, as this book gives, can help us make better decisions.

    Click here to check out Life Is In The Transitions, and get conscious about how you handle yours!

    Share This Post

  • Cheeky diet soft drink getting you through the work day? Here’s what that may mean for your health

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Many people are drinking less sugary soft drink than in the past. This is a great win for public health, given the recognised risks of diets high in sugar-sweetened drinks.

    But over time, intake of diet soft drinks has grown. In fact, it’s so high that these products are now regularly detected in wastewater.

    So what does the research say about how your health is affected in the long term if you drink them often?

    Breakingpic/Pexels

    What makes diet soft drinks sweet?

    The World Health Organization (WHO) advises people “reduce their daily intake of free sugars to less than 10% of their total energy intake. A further reduction to below 5% or roughly 25 grams (six teaspoons) per day would provide additional health benefits.”

    But most regular soft drinks contain a lot of sugar. A regular 335 millilitre can of original Coca-Cola contains at least seven teaspoons of added sugar.

    Diet soft drinks are designed to taste similar to regular soft drinks but without the sugar. Instead of sugar, diet soft drinks contain artificial or natural sweeteners. The artificial sweeteners include aspartame, saccharin and sucralose. The natural sweeteners include stevia and monk fruit extract, which come from plant sources.

    Many artificial sweeteners are much sweeter than sugar so less is needed to provide the same burst of sweetness.

    Diet soft drinks are marketed as healthier alternatives to regular soft drinks, particularly for people who want to reduce their sugar intake or manage their weight.

    But while surveys of Australian adults and adolescents show most people understand the benefits of reducing their sugar intake, they often aren’t as aware about how diet drinks may affect health more broadly.

    A dark bubbly liquid is poured into a cup filled with ice.
    Diet soft drinks contain artificial or natural sweeteners. Vintage Tone/Shutterstock

    What does the research say about aspartame?

    The artificial sweeteners in soft drinks are considered safe for consumption by food authorities, including in the US and Australia. However, some researchers have raised concern about the long-term risks of consumption.

    People who drink diet soft drinks regularly and often are more likely to develop certain metabolic conditions (such as diabetes and heart disease) than those who don’t drink diet soft drinks.

    The link was found even after accounting for other dietary and lifestyle factors (such as physical activity).

    In 2023, the WHO announced reports had found aspartame – the main sweetener used in diet soft drinks – was “possibly carcinogenic to humans” (carcinogenic means cancer-causing).

    Importantly though, the report noted there is not enough current scientific evidence to be truly confident aspartame may increase the risk of cancer and emphasised it’s safe to consume occasionally.

    Will diet soft drinks help manage weight?

    Despite the word “diet” in the name, diet soft drinks are not strongly linked with weight management.

    In 2022, the WHO conducted a systematic review (where researchers look at all available evidence on a topic) on whether the use of artificial sweeteners is beneficial for weight management.

    Overall, the randomised controlled trials they looked at suggested slightly more weight loss in people who used artificial sweeteners.

    But the observational studies (where no intervention occurs and participants are monitored over time) found people who consume high amounts of artificial sweeteners tended to have an increased risk of higher body mass index and a 76% increased likelihood of having obesity.

    In other words, artificial sweeteners may not directly help manage weight over the long term. This resulted in the WHO advising artificial sweeteners should not be used to manage weight.

    Studies in animals have suggested consuming high levels of artificial sweeteners can signal to the brain it is being starved of fuel, which can lead to more eating. However, the evidence for this happening in humans is still unproven.

    You can’t go wrong with water. hurricanehank/Shutterstock

    What about inflammation and dental issues?

    There is some early evidence artificial sweeteners may irritate the lining of the digestive system, causing inflammation and increasing the likelihood of diarrhoea, constipation, bloating and other symptoms often associated with irritable bowel syndrome. However, this study noted more research is needed.

    High amounts of diet soft drinks have also been linked with liver disease, which is based on inflammation.

    The consumption of diet soft drinks is also associated with dental erosion.

    Many soft drinks contain phosphoric and citric acid, which can damage your tooth enamel and contribute to dental erosion.

    Moderation is key

    As with many aspects of nutrition, moderation is key with diet soft drinks.

    Drinking diet soft drinks occasionally is unlikely to harm your health, but frequent or excessive intake may increase health risks in the longer term.

    Plain water, infused water, sparkling water, herbal teas or milks remain the best options for hydration.

    Lauren Ball, Professor of Community Health and Wellbeing, The University of Queensland and Emily Burch, Accredited Practising Dietitian and Lecturer, Southern Cross University

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

    Share This Post

Related Posts

  • Stick with It – by Dr. Sean Young
  • Intermittent Fasting, Intermittently?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small 😎

    ❝Have you come across any research on alternate-day intermittent fasting—specifically switching between one day of 16:8 fasting and the next day of regular eating patterns? I’m curious if there are any benefits or drawbacks to this alternating approach, or if the benefits mainly come from consistent intermittent fasting?❞

    Short and unhelpful answer: no

    Longer and hopefully more helpful answer:

    As you probably know, usually people going for approaches based on the above terms either

    • practise 16:8 fasting (fast for 16 hours each day, eat during an 8-hour window) or
    • practise alternate-day fasting (fast for 24 hours, eat whenever for 24 hours, repeat)

    …which latter scored the best results in this large meta-analysis of studies:

    Effects of different types of intermittent fasting on metabolic outcomes: an umbrella review and network meta-analysis

    There is also the (popular) less extreme version of alternate-day fasting, sometimes called “eat stop eat”, which is not a very helpful description because that describes almost any kind of eating/fasting, but it usually refers to “once per week, take a day off from eating”.

    You can read more about each of these (and some other variants), here:

    Intermittent Fasting: What’s The Truth?

    What you are describing (doing 16:8 fasting on alternate days, eating whenever on the other days) is essentially: intermittent fasting, just with one 16-hour fast per 48 hours instead of per the usual 24 hours.

    See also: International consensus on fasting terminology ← the section on the terms “STF & PF” covers why this gets nudged back under the regular IF umbrella

    Good news: this means there is a lot of literature into the acute (i.e., occurring the same day, not long-term)* benefits of 16:8 IF, and that means that you will be getting those benefits, every second day.

    You remember that meta-analysis we posted above? While it isn’t mentioned in the conclusion (which only praised complete alternate-day fasting producing the best outcomes overall), sifting through the results data discovers that time-restricted eating (which is what you are doing, by these classifications) was the only fasting method to significantly reduce fasting blood glucose levels.

    (However, no significant differences were observed between any IF form and the reference (continuous energy restriction, CER, i.e. calorie-controlled) diets in fasting insulin and HbA1c levels)

    *This is still good news in the long-term though, because getting those benefits every second day is better than getting those benefits on no days, and this will have a long-term impact on your healthy longevity, just like how it is better to exercise every second day than it is to exercise no days, or better to abstain from alcohol every second day than it is to abstain on no days, etc.

    In short, by doing IF every second day, you are still giving your organs a break sometimes, and that’s good.

    All the same, if it would be convenient and practical for you, we would encourage you to consider either the complete alternate-day fasting (which, according to a lot of data, gives the best results overall),or time-restricted eating (TRE) every day (which, according to a lot of data, gives the best fasting blood sugar levels).

    You could also improve the TRE days by shifting to 20:4 (i.e., 20 hours fasting and 4 hours eating), this giving your organs a longer break on those days.

    Want to learn more?

    For a much more comprehensive discussion of the strengths and weaknesses of different approaches to intermitted fasting, check out:

    Complete Guide To Fasting: Heal Your Body Through Intermittent, Alternate-Day, and Extended Fasting – By Dr. Jason Fung

    Enjoy!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • What to Know About Stillbirths

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Series: Stillbirths:When Babies Die Before Taking Their First Breath

    The U.S. has not prioritized stillbirth prevention, and American parents are losing babies even as other countries make larger strides to reduce deaths late in pregnancy.

    Every year, more than 20,000 pregnancies in the U.S. end in a stillbirth, the death of an expected child at 20 weeks or more of pregnancy. Research shows as many as 1 in 4 stillbirths may be preventable. We interviewed dozens of parents of stillborn children who said their health care providers did not tell them about risk factors or explain what to watch for while pregnant. They said they felt blindsided by what followed. They did not have the information needed to make critical decisions about what happened with their baby’s body, about what additional testing could have been done to help determine what caused the stillbirth, or about how to navigate the process of requesting important stillbirth documents.

    This guide is meant to help fill the void of information on stillbirths. It’s based on more than 150 conversations with parents, health care providers, researchers and other medical experts.

    Whether you’re trying to better prepare for a pregnancy or grieving a loss, we hope this will help you and your family. This guide does not provide medical advice. We encourage you to seek out other reliable resources and consult with providers you trust.

    We welcome your thoughts and questions at mailto:stillbirth@propublica.org. You can share your experience with stillbirth with us. If you are a health care provider interested in distributing this guide, let us know if we can help.

    Table of contents:

    What Is Stillbirth?

    Many people told us that the first time they heard the term stillbirth was after they delivered their stillborn baby. In many cases, the lack of information and awareness beforehand contributed to their heartache and guilt afterward.

    Stillbirth is defined in the U.S. as the death of a baby in the womb at 20 weeks or more of pregnancy. Depending on when it happens, stillbirth is considered:

    • Early: 20-27 weeks of pregnancy.
    • Late: 28-36 weeks of pregnancy.
    • Term: 37 or more weeks of pregnancy.

    About half of all stillbirths in the U.S. occur at 28 weeks or later.

    What is the difference between a stillbirth and a miscarriage?

    Both terms describe pregnancy loss. The distinction is when the loss occurs. A miscarriage is typically defined as a loss before the 20th week of pregnancy, while stillbirth is after that point.

    How common is stillbirth?

    Each year, about 1 in 175 deliveries in the U.S. are stillbirths — that’s about 60 stillborn babies every day — making it one of the most common adverse pregnancy outcomes, but it is rarely discussed.

    If you are surprised by that fact, you are not alone. Many people we spoke to did not know how common stillbirths are. Leandria Lee of Texas said she spent her 2021 pregnancy unaware that her daughter, Zuri Armoni, could die in the last phase of her pregnancy.

    “If I was prepared to know that something could happen, I don’t think it would have been as bad. But to not know and then it happens, it affects you,” she said of her stillbirth at 35 weeks.

    Some doctors have told us they don’t introduce the possibility of a stillbirth because they don’t want to create additional anxiety for patients.

    Other doctors say withholding information leaves patients unprepared.

    “We have this idea that we can’t scare the patient, which to me is very paternalistic,” said Dr. Heather Florescue, an OB-GYN near Rochester, New York, who works to inform doctors and patients about stillbirth prevention.

    What causes stillbirths?

    There is a lot we don’t know about stillbirths because there hasn’t been enough research. The cause of the stillbirth is unknown in about 1 in 3 cases.

    What we do know is that a number of factors may cause or increase the risk of a stillbirth, including:

    • The baby not growing as expected.
    • Placental abnormalities or problems with the umbilical cord.
    • Genetic or structural disorders that cause developmental issues.
    • High blood pressure before pregnancy or preeclampsia, a potentially fatal complication that usually appears late in pregnancy and causes high blood pressure.
    • Diabetes before or during pregnancy.
    • An infection in the fetus, the placenta or the pregnant person.
    • Smoking.
    • Being 35 or older.
    • Obesity.
    • Being pregnant with more than one baby.

    But not all doctors, hospitals or health departments perform tests to identify the potential cause of a stillbirth or determine if it could have been prevented. Even when a cause is identified, fetal death records are rarely updated. This means data is sometimes inaccurate. Researchers strongly encourage doctors to perform a stillbirth evaluation, which includes an examination of the placenta and umbilical cord, a fetal autopsy and genetic testing.

    If your hospital or doctor does not proactively offer one or more of these exams, you can ask them to conduct the tests. Research shows that placental exams may help establish a cause of death or exclude a suspected one in about 65% of stillbirths, while autopsies were similarly useful in more than 40% of cases.

    Are Stillbirths Preventable?

    Not all stillbirths are preventable, but some are. For pregnancies that last 37 weeks or more, one study found that nearly half of stillbirths are potentially preventable.

    Dr. Joanne Stone, who last year was president of the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine, leads the country’s first Rainbow Clinic at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. The clinic is modeled on similar facilities in the United Kingdom that care for people who want to conceive again after a stillbirth. She said many doctors used to think there was nothing they could do to prevent stillbirth.

    “People just looked at it like, ‘Oh, it was an accident, couldn’t have been prevented,’” said Stone, who also is the system chair of the obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive science department at the Icahn School of Medicine. “But we know now there are things that we can do to try to prevent that from happening.”

    She said doctors can:

    • More closely monitor patients with certain risk factors, like high blood pressure, diabetes or obesity.
    • Ask about prior infant loss or other obstetrical trauma.
    • Carefully assess whether a baby’s growth is normal.
    • Work to diagnose genetic anomalies.
    • Teach patients how to track their baby’s movements and encourage them to speak up if they notice activity has slowed or stopped.
    • Deliver at or before 39 weeks if there are concerns.

    What are the risks of stillbirth over the course of a pregnancy?

    The risk of a stillbirth increases significantly toward the end of pregnancy, especially after 39 weeks. The risk is higher for people who get pregnant at 35 or older. The risk begins to climb even earlier, around 36 weeks, for people pregnant with twins.

    What you and your doctor can do to reduce the risk of stillbirth.

    While federal agencies in the U.S. have yet to come up with a checklist that may help reduce the risk of stillbirth, the Stillbirth Centre of Research Excellence in Australia has adopted a Safer Baby Bundle that lists five recommendations:

    1. Stop smoking.
    2. Regularly monitor growth to reduce the risk of fetal growth restriction, when the fetus is not growing as expected.
    3. Understand the importance of acting quickly if fetal movement decreases.
    4. Sleep on your side after 28 weeks.
    5. Talk to your doctor about when to deliver. Depending on your situation, it may be before your due date.

    The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has compiled a list of tests and techniques doctors can use to try to reduce the risk of a stillbirth. They include:

    • A risk assessment to identify prenatal needs.
    • A nonstresstest, which checks the fetus’s heart rate and how it changes as the fetus moves.
    • A biophysical profile, which is done with an ultrasound to measure body movement, muscle tone and breathing, along with amniotic fluid volume.

    The group stressed that there is no test that can guarantee a stillbirth won’t happen and that individual circumstances should determine what tests are run.

    Are some people at higher risk for stillbirth?

    Black women are more than twice as likely to have a stillbirth as white women. There are a number of possible explanations for that disparity, including institutional bias and structural racism, and a patient’s pre-pregnancy health, socioeconomic status and access to health care. In addition, research shows that Black women are more likely than white women to experience multiple stressful life events while pregnant and have their concerns ignored by their health care provider. Similar racial disparities drive the country’s high rate of maternal mortality.

    How to find a provider you trust.

    Finding a doctor to care for you during your pregnancy can be a daunting process. Medical experts and parents suggest interviewing prospective providers before you decide on the right one.

    Here is a short list of questions you might want to ask a potential OB-GYN:

    • What is the best way to contact you if I have questions or concerns?
    • How do you manage inquiries after hours and on weekends? Do you see walk-ins?
    • How do you manage prenatal risk assessments?
    • What should I know about the risks of a miscarriage or stillbirth?
    • How do you decide when a patient should be induced?

    If a provider doesn’t answer your questions to your satisfaction, don’t be reluctant to move on. Dr. Ashanda Saint Jean, chair of the obstetrics and gynecology department at HealthAlliance Hospitals of the Hudson Valley in New York, said she encourages her patients to find the provider that meets their needs.

    “Seek out someone that is like-minded,” said Saint Jean “It doesn’t have to be that they’re the same ethnicity or the same race, but like-minded in terms of the goals of what that patient desires for their own health and prosperity.”

    What to know in the last trimester.

    The last trimester can be an uncomfortable and challenging time as the fetus grows and you get increasingly tired. During this critical time, your provider should talk to you about the following topics:

    • Whether you need a nonstress test to determine if the fetus is getting enough oxygen.
    • The best way to track fetal movements.
    • What to do if your baby stops moving.
    • Whether you are at risk for preeclampsia or gestational diabetes.

    Rachel Foran’s child, Eoin Francis, was stillborn at 41 weeks and two days. Foran, who lives in New York, said she believes that if her doctor had tracked her placenta, and if she had understood the importance of fetal movement, she and her husband might have decided to deliver sooner.

    She remembers that her son was “very active” until the day before he was stillborn.

    “I would have gone in earlier if someone had told me, ‘You’re doing this because the baby could die,’” she said of tracking fetal movement. “That would have been really helpful to know.”

    Researchers are looking at the best way to measure the health, blood flow and size of the placenta, but studies are still in their early stages.

    “If someone had been doing that with my son’s,” Foran said, “my son would be alive.”

    A placental exam and an autopsy showed that a small placenta contributed to Foran’s stillbirth.

    How often should you feel movement?

    Every baby and each pregnancy are different, so it is important to get to know what levels of activity are normal for you. You might feel movement around 20 weeks. You’re more likely to feel movement when you’re sitting or lying down. Paying attention to movement during the third trimester is particularly important because research shows that changes, including decreased movement or bursts of excessive activity, are associated with an increased risk of stillbirth. Most of the time, it’s nothing. But sometimes it can be a sign that your baby is in distress. If you’re worried, don’t rely on a home fetal doppler to reassure you. Reach out to your doctor.

    Saint Jean offers a tip to track movement: “I still tell patients each day to lay on their left side after dinner and record how many times their baby moves, because then that will give you an idea of what’s normal for your baby,” she said.

    Other groups recommend using the Count the Kicks app as a way of tracking fetal movements and establishing what is normal for that pregnancy. Although there is no scientific consensus that counting kicks can prevent stillbirths, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and other groups recommend that patients be aware of fetal movement patterns.

    Dr. Karen Gibbins is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Oregon Health & Science University who in 2018 had stillborn son named Sebastian. She said the idea that babies don’t move as much at the end of pregnancy is a dangerous myth.

    “You might hear that babies slow down at the end,” she said. “They don’t slow down. They just have a little less space. So their movements are a little different, but they should be as strong and as frequent.”

    What to Expect After a Stillbirth

    What might happen at the hospital?

    Parents are often asked to make several important decisions while they are still reeling from the shock and devastation of their loss. It’s completely understandable if you need to take some time to consider them.

    Some other things you can ask for (if medical personnel don’t offer them) are:

    • Blood work, a placental exam, an autopsy and genetic testing.
    • A social worker or counselor, bereavement resources and religious or chaplain support.
    • The option to be isolated from the labor rooms.
    • Someone to take photos of you and your baby, typically either a nurse or an outside group.
    • A small cooling cot that allows parents to spend more time with their babies after a stillbirth. If one is not available, you can ask for ice packs to put in the swaddle or the bassinet.
    • A mold of your baby’s hands and feet.
    • Information about burial or cremation services.
    • Guidance on what to do if your milk comes in.

    Getting an autopsy after a stillbirth.

    Whether to have an autopsy is a personal decision. It may not reveal a cause of death, but it might provide important information about your stillbirth and contribute to broader stillbirth research. Autopsies can be useful if you are considering another pregnancy in the future. Families also told us that an autopsy can help parents feel they did everything they could to try to understand why their baby died.

    But several families told us their health care providers didn’t provide them with the right information to help with that decision. Some aren’t trained in the advantages of conducting an autopsy after a stillbirth, or in when and how to sensitively communicate with parents about it. Some, for example, don’t explain that patients can still have an open-casket funeral or other service after an autopsy because the incisions can easily be covered by clothing. Others may not encourage an autopsy because they think they already know what caused the stillbirth or don’t believe anything could have been done to prevent it. In addition, not all hospitals have the capacity to do an autopsy, but there may be private autopsy providers that can perform one at an additional cost.

    You can read more about autopsies in our reporting.

    Paying for an autopsy after a stillbirth.

    If you decide you want an autopsy, you may wonder whether you need to pay out-of-pocket for it. Several families told us their providers gave them incomplete or incorrect information. Many larger or academic hospitals offer autopsies at no cost to patients. Some insurance companies also cover the cost of an autopsy after a stillbirth.

    When hospitals don’t provide an autopsy, they may give you names of private providers. That was the case for Rachel Foran. The hospital gave her and her husband a list of numbers to call if they wanted to pay for an autopsy themselves. The process, she said, shocked her.

    “I had just delivered and we had to figure out what to do with his body,” Foran said. “It felt totally insane that that was what we had to do and that we had to figure it out on our own.”

    An independent autopsy, records show, cost them $5,000.

    What is a certificate of stillbirth and how do I get one?

    A fetal death certificate is the official legal document that records the death. This is the document used to gather data on and track the number of stillbirths in the country. Many states also issue a certificate of stillbirth or a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth, which acknowledge the baby’s birth. Families told us they appreciated having that document, since typical birth certificates are not issued for stillbirths. You can usually request a certificate from the vital records office.

    Grieving After a Stillbirth

    What are the effects of stillbirths on parents and families?

    Over and over, families told us the effects of losing a baby can reverberate for a lifetime.

    Bereavement support groups may help provide a space to share experiences and resources. Hospitals and birth centers may suggest a local grief group.

    We talked with Anna Calix, a maternal health expert who became active in perinatal loss prevention after her son Liam was stillborn on his due date in 2016. Calix leads grief support groups for people of color in English and Spanish.

    She suggested rededicating the time you would have spent taking care of a new baby to the grief process.

    “You can do that by addressing your own thoughts and feelings and really experiencing those feelings,” Calix said. “We like to push those feelings away or try to do something to distract and avoid, but no matter what we do, the feelings are there.”

    It’s important, she said, to give yourself permission to grow your connection with your child and work through thoughts of guilt or blame.

    What You Might Say and Do After a Loved One Experiences a Stillbirth

    Finding the right words can be difficult. The following are a few suggestions from parents who went through a stillbirth.

    Helpful:

    • Acknowledge the loss and offer condolences.
    • Ask if the baby was named and use the name.
    • Allow space for the family to talk about their baby.

    Unhelpful:

    • Avoid talking about the baby.
    • Minimize the loss or compare experiences.
    • Start statements with “at least.”

    Suggested phrases to avoid:

    • “You’re young. You can have more kids.”
    • “At least you have other children.”
    • “These things just happen.”
    • “Your baby is in a better place now.”

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • The Age-Proof Brain – by Dr. Marc Milstein

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Biological aging is not truly just one thing, but rather the amalgam of many things intersecting—and most of them are modifiable. The cells of your body neither know nor care how many times you have flown around the sun; they just respond to the stimuli they’re given.

    Which is what fuels this book. The idea is to have a brain that is less-assailed by the things that would make it age, and more rejuvenated by the things that can make it biologically younger.

    Dr. Milstein doesn’t neglect the rest of the body, and indeed notes the brain’s connections with the immune system, the heart, the gut, and more. But everything in this book is done with the brain in mind and its good health as the top priority outcome of all the things he advises.

    On which note, yes, there is plenty of practical, implementable advice here. For a book that is consistently full of study paper citations, he does take care to make everything useful to the reader, and makes everything as easy as possible for the layperson along the way.

    Bottom line: if you would like your brain to age less, this is an excellent, very evidence-based, guidebook.

    Click here to check out The Age-Proof Brain, and age-proof your brain!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: