How To Keep On Keeping On?
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How To Keep On Keeping On… Long Term!
For many when it comes to health-related goals and practices, it’s easy to find ourselves in a bit of a motivational dip around this time of year. The enthusiasm of new year’s resolutions has been and gone, and there’s not yet much of a drive to “get a beach body” or “be summer-ready”.
A word to the wise on those before moving on, though:
- How to get a beach body: take your body to a beach. Voilà. Beach body.
- Remember: the beach is there for your pleasure and entertainment, not the other way around!
- How to be summer-ready: the real question is, will summer be ready for you?
But what is this, demotivational rhetoric to discourage you from getting fit and healthy?
Not at all, but rather, to be sure that you’re pursuing your own goals and not just what you feel might be expected of you.
All that in mind, let’s get to the tips…
Focus on adding health
It can be tempting (and even, good) to cut down on unhealthy things. But when it comes to motivation, it’s harder to stay motivated for deprivation, than it is for some healthy addition to life.
So for example, this philosophy would advocate for:
- Instead of counting calories, count steps! Or even…
- Instead of counting calories, count colors! Eat the rainbow and all that. No, skittles do not count, but eating a variety of naturally different-colored foods will tend to result in adding different nutrients to your diet.
- Instead of cutting out sugar, add fruit! How many per day will you go for? If you don’t eat much fruit as it is, consider making it a goal to have even just one piece of fruit a day, then build up from there. Find fruit you like! If you pick the fruit you want instead of the fruit you think you “should” have, it’s basically a dessert snack.
We’ve recommended it before, and we’ll recommend it again, but if you’re interested in “adding health”, you should definitely check out:
Dr. Greger’s Daily Dozen (checklist, plus app if you want it)
More details: it’s a checklist of 12 things you should try to include in your diet, with a free streak-tracking app, if you want it, all based on the same scientific research as the best-selling book “How Not To Die”.
“Minimum effort!”
Did you see the movie “Deadpool”? The protagonist has a catch-phrase as he goes into battle, saying to himself “Maximum effort!”.
And, that’s all very well and good if your superpower is immediate recovery from pretty much anything, but for the rest of us, sometimes it’s good to hold ourselves to “minimum effort!”.
Sometimes, something worth doing is worth doing just a little a bit. It’s always better than nothing! Even if feels like you gained nothing from it, it’s the foundation of a habit, and the habit will grow and add up. Sometimes it may even take you by surprise…
Don’t feel like doing 20 bodyweight squats? Do literally just one. Make a deal with yourself: do just one, then you can stop if you like. Then after you’ve done one, you might think to yourself “huh, that wasn’t so bad”, and you try out a few more. Maybe after 5 you can feel your blood pumping a bit and you think “you know what, that’s enough for now”, and great, you did 5x as much exercise as you planned! Wonder what you’ll do tomorrow!
(personal note from your writer here: I’ve managed to “just extend this exercise a little bit more than last time” my way into hour-long exercise sessions before now; I started with “just 10 squats” or “just one sun salutation” etc, to get myself out of a no-exercise period that I’d slipped into, and it’s amazing how quickly adding just a little bit to the previous day’s “minimum effort!” adds up to a very respectable daily exercise session)
Wondering what a good, easy, respectable short term goal could be?
Check Out, For Example: The Seven-Minute Workout
(You might have heard of this one before; it’s an incredibly efficient well-optimized short complete workout that requires no special equipment, just a bit of floorspace and a wall—the above app allows for customizations of it per your preferences, but the basic routine is an excellent starting point for most people)
Commit to yourself (and do any self-negotiation up-front)
Really commit, though. No “or I will look silly because I told people I’d do it”, no “or I will donate x amount to charity” etc, just “I will do it and that’s that”. If you find yourself second-guessing yourself or renegotiating with yourself, just shut that down immediately and refuse to consider it.
Note: you should have break-clauses in this contract with yourself, though. For example, “unless I am ill or injured” is a sensible rule to have in advance for most exercise regimes that weren’t undertaken with your illness or injury in mind.
Make a “To-Don’t” list
Much like how addicts are often advised to not try to quit more than one thing at once, we must also be mindful of not taking on too much at once. It can be very tempting to think:
“I will turn my life around, now! I’ll quit alcohol and animal products and sugar and refined grains, and I’ll go for a run each morning, and I’ll do this and that and there, I’ve got it, here is the blueprint for my healthy perfect life from this day forth!”
And, it’s great to have any and all of that as your end goal if you want, but please, pick one or two things at most to start with, focus on those, and when those have become second nature to you and just a normal part of your life, then choose the next thing to work on.
(You can plan out the whole thing in advance if you want! i.e., I’ll do this, then this, then this, but just… make sure that you’ve really got each one down to a matter of comfort and ease before you take up the next one)
In summary:
- Focus on adding health, whatever that looks like to you
- Figure out what “minimum effort!” is for you, and let that be your baseline
- Commit to yourself (and do any self-negotiation up-front, not later)
- Decide what you’re not going to do yet, and stick to that, too.
Don’t Forget…
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Currants vs Grapes – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing currants to grapes, we picked the currants.
Why?
First, a note on nomenclature: when we say “currants”, we are talking about actual currants, of the Ribes genus, and in this case (as per the image) red ones. We are not talking about “currants” that are secretly tiny grapes that also get called currants in the US. So, there are important botanical differences here, beyond how they have been cultivated; they are literally entirely different plants.
So, about those differences…
In terms of macros, currants have nearly 5x the fiber, while grapes are slightly higher in carbs. So there’s an easy choice here in terms of fiber and on the glycemic index front; currants win easily.
In the category of vitamins, currants have more of vitamins B5, B9, C, and choline, while grapes have more of vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6, E, and K. So, a win for grapes in this round.
When it comes to minerals, currants have more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while grapes have more manganese. A win, therefore, for currants again this time.
In terms of polyphenols, currants have a lot more in terms of total polyphenols, including (as a matter of interest) approximately 5x the resveratrol content compared to grapes—and that’s compared to black grapes, which are the “best” kind of grapes for such. Grapes really aren’t a very good source of resveratrol; people just really like the idea of red wine being a health food, so it has been talked up a lot and got a popular reputation despite its extreme paucity of nutritional value.
In any case, adding up the sections makes for a clear overall win for currants, but by all means enjoy either or both; diversity is good!
Want to learn more?
You might like:
21 Most Beneficial Polyphenols & What Foods Have Them
Enjoy!
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An Underrated Tool Against Alzheimer’s
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Dementia in general, and Alzheimer’s in particular, affects a lot of people, and probably even more than the stats show, because some (estimated to be: about half) will go undiagnosed and thus unreported:
Alzheimer’s: The Bad News And The Good
At 10almonds, we often talk about brain health, whether from a nutrition standpoint or other lifestyle factors. For nutrition, by the way, check out:
Today we’ll be looking at some new science for an underrated tool:
Bilingualism as protective factor
It’s well-known that bilingualism offers brain benefits, but most people would be hard-pressed to name what, specifically, those brain benefits are.
As doctors Kristina Coulter and Natalie Phillips found in a recent study, one of the measurable benefits may be a defense against generalized (i.e. not necessarily language-related) memory loss Alzheimer’s disease.
Specifically,
❝We used surface-based morphometry methods to measure cortical thickness and volume of language-related and AD-related brain regions. We did not observe evidence of brain reserve in language-related regions.
However, reduced hippocampal volume was observed for monolingual, but not bilingual, older adults with AD. Thus, bilingualism is hypothesized to contribute to reserve in the form of brain maintenance in the context of AD.❞
Read in full: Bilinguals show evidence of brain maintenance in Alzheimer’s disease
This is important, because while language is processed in various parts of the brain beyond the scope of this article, the hippocampi* are where memory is stored.
*usually mentioned in the singular as “hippocampus”, but you have one on each side, unless some terrible accident or incident befell you.
What this means in practical terms: these results suggest that being bilingual means we will retain more of our capacity for memory, even if we get Alzheimer’s disease, than people who are monolingual.
Furthermore, while we’re talking practicality:
❝…our subsample may be characterized as mostly late bilinguals (i.e., learning an L2 after age 5), having moderate self-reported L2 ability, and relatively few participants reporting daily L2 use (33 out of 119)❞
(L2 = second language)
This is important, because it means you don’t have to have grown up speaking multiple languages, you don’t even have to speak it well, and you don’t have to be using your second language(s) on a daily basis, to enjoy benefits. Merely having them in your head appears to be sufficient to trigger the brain to go “oh, we need to boost and maintain the hippocampal volume”.
We would hypothesize that using second language(s) regularly and/or speaking second language(s) well offers additional protection, and the data would support this if it weren’t for the fact that the sample sizes for daily and high-level speakers are a bit small to draw conclusions.
But the important part is: simply knowing another language, including if you literally just learned it later in life, is already protective of hippocampal volume in the context of Alzheimer’s disease.
Here’s a pop-science article about the study, that goes into it in more detail than we have room to here:
Bilingualism linked to greater brain resilience in older adults
Want to learn a new language?
Here are some options where you can get going right away:
If you are thinking “sounds good, but learning a language is too much work”, then that is why we included that third option there. It’s specifically for one language, and that language is Esperanto, arguably the world’s easiest language and specifically designed to be super quick and easy to get good at. Also, it’s free!
Do, kial ne lerni novan lingvon rapide kaj facile? 😉
Want to know more?
For ways to reduce your overall Alzheimer’s risk according to science, check out:
Take care!
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Health & Happiness From Outside & In
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
A friend in need…
In a recent large (n=3,486) poll across the US:
- 90% of people aged 50 and older say they have at least one close friend
- 75% say they have enough close friends
- 70% of those with a close friend say they can definitely count on them to provide health-related support
However, those numbers shrink by half when it comes to people whose physical and/or mental health is not so great, resulting in a negative feedback loop of fewer close friends whom one sees less often, and progressively worse physical and/or mental health. In other words, the healthier you are, the more likely you are to have a friend who’ll support you in your health:
Read in full: Friendships promote healthier living in older adults, says new survey
Related: How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation
Kindness makes a difference to healthcare outcomes
Defining kindness as action-oriented, positively focused, and purposeful in nature, this sets kindness apart from compassion and empathy, when it’s otherwise often been conflated with those, and thus overlooked. This also means that kindness can still be effected when clinicians are too burned-out to be compassionate, and/or when patients are not in a state of mind where empathy is useful.
Furthermore, unkindness (again, as defined by this review) was found in large studies to be the root cause of ¾ of patient harm events in hospital settings. This means that far from being a wishy-washy abstraction, kindness/unkindness can be a very serious factor when it comes to healthcare outcomes:
Read in full: Review suggests kindness could make for better health care
Related: The Human Touch vs AI, The Doctor That Never Tires
The gift of health?
🎵 Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
Which turned out to be a silly idea
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll just get you a Fitbit or something🎵Health & happiness go hand in hand, so does that make health stuff a good gift? It can do! But there are also plenty of opportunities for misfires.
For example, getting someone a gym membership when they don’t have time for that may not help them at all, and sports equipment that they’ll use once and then leave to gather dust might not be great either. In contrast, the American Heart Association recommends to first consider what they enjoy doing, and work with that, and ideally make it something versatile and/or portable. Wearable gadgets are a fine option for many, but a gift doesn’t have to be fancy to be good—with a blood pressure monitoring cuff being a suggestion from Dr. Sperling (a professor of preventative cardiology):
Read in full: Oh, there’s no gift like health for the holidays
Related: Here’s Where Activity Trackers Help (And Also Where They Don’t)
How you use social media matters more than how much
A study commissioned by the European Commission’s Joint Research Centre found that while the quantity of time one spends on social media is not associated (positively or negatively) with loneliness, they did find a correlation between passive (as opposed to engaged) use of social media, and loneliness. In other words, people who were chatting with friends less, were more lonely! Shocking news.
While the findings may seem obvious, it does present a call-to-action for anyone who is feeling lonely: to use social media not just to see what everyone else is up to, but also, to reach out to people.
Read in full: Unpacking the link between social media and loneliness
Related: Make Social Media Work For Your Mental Health Rather Than Against It
Gut-only antidepressants
Many antidepressants work by increasing serotonin levels in the brain; a new study suggests that targeting antidepressants to work only in the gut (which is where serotonin is made, not the brain) could not only be an effective treatment for mood disorders, but also cause fewer adverse side-effects:
Read in full: Antidepressants may act in gut to reduce depression and anxiety
Related: Antidepressants: Personalization Is Key!
Take care!
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What to Know About Stillbirths
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Series: Stillbirths:When Babies Die Before Taking Their First Breath
The U.S. has not prioritized stillbirth prevention, and American parents are losing babies even as other countries make larger strides to reduce deaths late in pregnancy.
Every year, more than 20,000 pregnancies in the U.S. end in a stillbirth, the death of an expected child at 20 weeks or more of pregnancy. Research shows as many as 1 in 4 stillbirths may be preventable. We interviewed dozens of parents of stillborn children who said their health care providers did not tell them about risk factors or explain what to watch for while pregnant. They said they felt blindsided by what followed. They did not have the information needed to make critical decisions about what happened with their baby’s body, about what additional testing could have been done to help determine what caused the stillbirth, or about how to navigate the process of requesting important stillbirth documents.
This guide is meant to help fill the void of information on stillbirths. It’s based on more than 150 conversations with parents, health care providers, researchers and other medical experts.
Whether you’re trying to better prepare for a pregnancy or grieving a loss, we hope this will help you and your family. This guide does not provide medical advice. We encourage you to seek out other reliable resources and consult with providers you trust.
We welcome your thoughts and questions at mailto:[email protected]. You can share your experience with stillbirth with us. If you are a health care provider interested in distributing this guide, let us know if we can help.
Table of contents:
- What Is Stillbirth?
- Are Stillbirths Preventable?
- What to Expect After a Stillbirth.
- Grieving After a Stillbirth.
- What You Might Say and Do After a Loved One Experiences a Stillbirth.
What Is Stillbirth?
Many people told us that the first time they heard the term stillbirth was after they delivered their stillborn baby. In many cases, the lack of information and awareness beforehand contributed to their heartache and guilt afterward.
Stillbirth is defined in the U.S. as the death of a baby in the womb at 20 weeks or more of pregnancy. Depending on when it happens, stillbirth is considered:
- Early: 20-27 weeks of pregnancy.
- Late: 28-36 weeks of pregnancy.
- Term: 37 or more weeks of pregnancy.
About half of all stillbirths in the U.S. occur at 28 weeks or later.
What is the difference between a stillbirth and a miscarriage?
Both terms describe pregnancy loss. The distinction is when the loss occurs. A miscarriage is typically defined as a loss before the 20th week of pregnancy, while stillbirth is after that point.
How common is stillbirth?
Each year, about 1 in 175 deliveries in the U.S. are stillbirths — that’s about 60 stillborn babies every day — making it one of the most common adverse pregnancy outcomes, but it is rarely discussed.
If you are surprised by that fact, you are not alone. Many people we spoke to did not know how common stillbirths are. Leandria Lee of Texas said she spent her 2021 pregnancy unaware that her daughter, Zuri Armoni, could die in the last phase of her pregnancy.
“If I was prepared to know that something could happen, I don’t think it would have been as bad. But to not know and then it happens, it affects you,” she said of her stillbirth at 35 weeks.
Some doctors have told us they don’t introduce the possibility of a stillbirth because they don’t want to create additional anxiety for patients.
Other doctors say withholding information leaves patients unprepared.
“We have this idea that we can’t scare the patient, which to me is very paternalistic,” said Dr. Heather Florescue, an OB-GYN near Rochester, New York, who works to inform doctors and patients about stillbirth prevention.
What causes stillbirths?
There is a lot we don’t know about stillbirths because there hasn’t been enough research. The cause of the stillbirth is unknown in about 1 in 3 cases.
What we do know is that a number of factors may cause or increase the risk of a stillbirth, including:
- The baby not growing as expected.
- Placental abnormalities or problems with the umbilical cord.
- Genetic or structural disorders that cause developmental issues.
- High blood pressure before pregnancy or preeclampsia, a potentially fatal complication that usually appears late in pregnancy and causes high blood pressure.
- Diabetes before or during pregnancy.
- An infection in the fetus, the placenta or the pregnant person.
- Smoking.
- Being 35 or older.
- Obesity.
- Being pregnant with more than one baby.
But not all doctors, hospitals or health departments perform tests to identify the potential cause of a stillbirth or determine if it could have been prevented. Even when a cause is identified, fetal death records are rarely updated. This means data is sometimes inaccurate. Researchers strongly encourage doctors to perform a stillbirth evaluation, which includes an examination of the placenta and umbilical cord, a fetal autopsy and genetic testing.
If your hospital or doctor does not proactively offer one or more of these exams, you can ask them to conduct the tests. Research shows that placental exams may help establish a cause of death or exclude a suspected one in about 65% of stillbirths, while autopsies were similarly useful in more than 40% of cases.
Are Stillbirths Preventable?
Not all stillbirths are preventable, but some are. For pregnancies that last 37 weeks or more, one study found that nearly half of stillbirths are potentially preventable.
Dr. Joanne Stone, who last year was president of the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine, leads the country’s first Rainbow Clinic at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. The clinic is modeled on similar facilities in the United Kingdom that care for people who want to conceive again after a stillbirth. She said many doctors used to think there was nothing they could do to prevent stillbirth.
“People just looked at it like, ‘Oh, it was an accident, couldn’t have been prevented,’” said Stone, who also is the system chair of the obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive science department at the Icahn School of Medicine. “But we know now there are things that we can do to try to prevent that from happening.”
She said doctors can:
- More closely monitor patients with certain risk factors, like high blood pressure, diabetes or obesity.
- Ask about prior infant loss or other obstetrical trauma.
- Carefully assess whether a baby’s growth is normal.
- Work to diagnose genetic anomalies.
- Teach patients how to track their baby’s movements and encourage them to speak up if they notice activity has slowed or stopped.
- Deliver at or before 39 weeks if there are concerns.
What are the risks of stillbirth over the course of a pregnancy?
The risk of a stillbirth increases significantly toward the end of pregnancy, especially after 39 weeks. The risk is higher for people who get pregnant at 35 or older. The risk begins to climb even earlier, around 36 weeks, for people pregnant with twins.
What you and your doctor can do to reduce the risk of stillbirth.
While federal agencies in the U.S. have yet to come up with a checklist that may help reduce the risk of stillbirth, the Stillbirth Centre of Research Excellence in Australia has adopted a Safer Baby Bundle that lists five recommendations:
- Stop smoking.
- Regularly monitor growth to reduce the risk of fetal growth restriction, when the fetus is not growing as expected.
- Understand the importance of acting quickly if fetal movement decreases.
- Sleep on your side after 28 weeks.
- Talk to your doctor about when to deliver. Depending on your situation, it may be before your due date.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has compiled a list of tests and techniques doctors can use to try to reduce the risk of a stillbirth. They include:
- A risk assessment to identify prenatal needs.
- A nonstresstest, which checks the fetus’s heart rate and how it changes as the fetus moves.
- A biophysical profile, which is done with an ultrasound to measure body movement, muscle tone and breathing, along with amniotic fluid volume.
The group stressed that there is no test that can guarantee a stillbirth won’t happen and that individual circumstances should determine what tests are run.
Are some people at higher risk for stillbirth?
Black women are more than twice as likely to have a stillbirth as white women. There are a number of possible explanations for that disparity, including institutional bias and structural racism, and a patient’s pre-pregnancy health, socioeconomic status and access to health care. In addition, research shows that Black women are more likely than white women to experience multiple stressful life events while pregnant and have their concerns ignored by their health care provider. Similar racial disparities drive the country’s high rate of maternal mortality.
How to find a provider you trust.
Finding a doctor to care for you during your pregnancy can be a daunting process. Medical experts and parents suggest interviewing prospective providers before you decide on the right one.
Here is a short list of questions you might want to ask a potential OB-GYN:
- What is the best way to contact you if I have questions or concerns?
- How do you manage inquiries after hours and on weekends? Do you see walk-ins?
- How do you manage prenatal risk assessments?
- What should I know about the risks of a miscarriage or stillbirth?
- How do you decide when a patient should be induced?
If a provider doesn’t answer your questions to your satisfaction, don’t be reluctant to move on. Dr. Ashanda Saint Jean, chair of the obstetrics and gynecology department at HealthAlliance Hospitals of the Hudson Valley in New York, said she encourages her patients to find the provider that meets their needs.
“Seek out someone that is like-minded,” said Saint Jean “It doesn’t have to be that they’re the same ethnicity or the same race, but like-minded in terms of the goals of what that patient desires for their own health and prosperity.”
What to know in the last trimester.
The last trimester can be an uncomfortable and challenging time as the fetus grows and you get increasingly tired. During this critical time, your provider should talk to you about the following topics:
- Whether you need a nonstress test to determine if the fetus is getting enough oxygen.
- The best way to track fetal movements.
- What to do if your baby stops moving.
- Whether you are at risk for preeclampsia or gestational diabetes.
Rachel Foran’s child, Eoin Francis, was stillborn at 41 weeks and two days. Foran, who lives in New York, said she believes that if her doctor had tracked her placenta, and if she had understood the importance of fetal movement, she and her husband might have decided to deliver sooner.
She remembers that her son was “very active” until the day before he was stillborn.
“I would have gone in earlier if someone had told me, ‘You’re doing this because the baby could die,’” she said of tracking fetal movement. “That would have been really helpful to know.”
Researchers are looking at the best way to measure the health, blood flow and size of the placenta, but studies are still in their early stages.
“If someone had been doing that with my son’s,” Foran said, “my son would be alive.”
A placental exam and an autopsy showed that a small placenta contributed to Foran’s stillbirth.
How often should you feel movement?
Every baby and each pregnancy are different, so it is important to get to know what levels of activity are normal for you. You might feel movement around 20 weeks. You’re more likely to feel movement when you’re sitting or lying down. Paying attention to movement during the third trimester is particularly important because research shows that changes, including decreased movement or bursts of excessive activity, are associated with an increased risk of stillbirth. Most of the time, it’s nothing. But sometimes it can be a sign that your baby is in distress. If you’re worried, don’t rely on a home fetal doppler to reassure you. Reach out to your doctor.
Saint Jean offers a tip to track movement: “I still tell patients each day to lay on their left side after dinner and record how many times their baby moves, because then that will give you an idea of what’s normal for your baby,” she said.
Other groups recommend using the Count the Kicks app as a way of tracking fetal movements and establishing what is normal for that pregnancy. Although there is no scientific consensus that counting kicks can prevent stillbirths, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and other groups recommend that patients be aware of fetal movement patterns.
Dr. Karen Gibbins is a maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Oregon Health & Science University who in 2018 had stillborn son named Sebastian. She said the idea that babies don’t move as much at the end of pregnancy is a dangerous myth.
“You might hear that babies slow down at the end,” she said. “They don’t slow down. They just have a little less space. So their movements are a little different, but they should be as strong and as frequent.”
What to Expect After a Stillbirth
What might happen at the hospital?
Parents are often asked to make several important decisions while they are still reeling from the shock and devastation of their loss. It’s completely understandable if you need to take some time to consider them.
Some other things you can ask for (if medical personnel don’t offer them) are:
- Blood work, a placental exam, an autopsy and genetic testing.
- A social worker or counselor, bereavement resources and religious or chaplain support.
- The option to be isolated from the labor rooms.
- Someone to take photos of you and your baby, typically either a nurse or an outside group.
- A small cooling cot that allows parents to spend more time with their babies after a stillbirth. If one is not available, you can ask for ice packs to put in the swaddle or the bassinet.
- A mold of your baby’s hands and feet.
- Information about burial or cremation services.
- Guidance on what to do if your milk comes in.
Getting an autopsy after a stillbirth.
Whether to have an autopsy is a personal decision. It may not reveal a cause of death, but it might provide important information about your stillbirth and contribute to broader stillbirth research. Autopsies can be useful if you are considering another pregnancy in the future. Families also told us that an autopsy can help parents feel they did everything they could to try to understand why their baby died.
But several families told us their health care providers didn’t provide them with the right information to help with that decision. Some aren’t trained in the advantages of conducting an autopsy after a stillbirth, or in when and how to sensitively communicate with parents about it. Some, for example, don’t explain that patients can still have an open-casket funeral or other service after an autopsy because the incisions can easily be covered by clothing. Others may not encourage an autopsy because they think they already know what caused the stillbirth or don’t believe anything could have been done to prevent it. In addition, not all hospitals have the capacity to do an autopsy, but there may be private autopsy providers that can perform one at an additional cost.
You can read more about autopsies in our reporting.
Paying for an autopsy after a stillbirth.
If you decide you want an autopsy, you may wonder whether you need to pay out-of-pocket for it. Several families told us their providers gave them incomplete or incorrect information. Many larger or academic hospitals offer autopsies at no cost to patients. Some insurance companies also cover the cost of an autopsy after a stillbirth.
When hospitals don’t provide an autopsy, they may give you names of private providers. That was the case for Rachel Foran. The hospital gave her and her husband a list of numbers to call if they wanted to pay for an autopsy themselves. The process, she said, shocked her.
“I had just delivered and we had to figure out what to do with his body,” Foran said. “It felt totally insane that that was what we had to do and that we had to figure it out on our own.”
An independent autopsy, records show, cost them $5,000.
What is a certificate of stillbirth and how do I get one?
A fetal death certificate is the official legal document that records the death. This is the document used to gather data on and track the number of stillbirths in the country. Many states also issue a certificate of stillbirth or a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth, which acknowledge the baby’s birth. Families told us they appreciated having that document, since typical birth certificates are not issued for stillbirths. You can usually request a certificate from the vital records office.
Grieving After a Stillbirth
What are the effects of stillbirths on parents and families?
Over and over, families told us the effects of losing a baby can reverberate for a lifetime.
Bereavement support groups may help provide a space to share experiences and resources. Hospitals and birth centers may suggest a local grief group.
We talked with Anna Calix, a maternal health expert who became active in perinatal loss prevention after her son Liam was stillborn on his due date in 2016. Calix leads grief support groups for people of color in English and Spanish.
She suggested rededicating the time you would have spent taking care of a new baby to the grief process.
“You can do that by addressing your own thoughts and feelings and really experiencing those feelings,” Calix said. “We like to push those feelings away or try to do something to distract and avoid, but no matter what we do, the feelings are there.”
It’s important, she said, to give yourself permission to grow your connection with your child and work through thoughts of guilt or blame.
What You Might Say and Do After a Loved One Experiences a Stillbirth
Finding the right words can be difficult. The following are a few suggestions from parents who went through a stillbirth.
Helpful:
- Acknowledge the loss and offer condolences.
- Ask if the baby was named and use the name.
- Allow space for the family to talk about their baby.
Unhelpful:
- Avoid talking about the baby.
- Minimize the loss or compare experiences.
- Start statements with “at least.”
Suggested phrases to avoid:
- “You’re young. You can have more kids.”
- “At least you have other children.”
- “These things just happen.”
- “Your baby is in a better place now.”
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Stop Tinnitus, & Improve Your Hearing By 130%
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Caveat: this will depend on the cause of your tinnitus, but there’s a quick diagnostic test first, and it’s for the most common kind 🙂
Step by step
To address noise in the ears (tinnitus) and improve hearing, start by identifying whether the issue is treatable. The diagnostic tests are:
- First, turn your head to the side, tilt it forward and backward, and observe changes in the noise. If the intensity changes, then the noise can be managed.
- Additionally, open and close your mouth, clenching and unclenching your teeth, and note any variations; this is about muscular tension affecting hearing.
- Finally, tilt your head downward—if the noise increases, it may mean it is a venous outflow disorder—there’s a fix for this, too.
Effective exercises focus on releasing tension and improving blood flow:
- Begin with the neck’s scalene muscles, located behind the sternocleidomastoid muscle.
- Massage these areas by moving your hands up and down and varying head positions slightly forward and backward.
- Repeat on both sides to enhance blood circulation and reduce auditory interference. Next, target the chewing muscles.
- Massage painful areas of the jaw and temporalis muscle in circular motions, working along and across the muscle fibers.
- Divide the temporalis muscle into sections and address each thoroughly to relieve tension and improve hearing.
- Mobilize the outer auditory passage by gently pulling the ear in all directions—starting with the earlobe, middle part, and upper ear.
- Focus on the cartilage above the lobe, moving it up and down to restore mobility and improve blood flow.
These exercises should fix the most common kind of tinnitus, and improve hearing—you’ll know quickly whether it works for you or not. Regular practice is required for sustained results, though.
For more on all this, plus visual demonstrations (e.g. how to find that temporalis muscle, etc), enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
Tinnitus: Quieting The Unwanted Orchestra In Your Ears ← our main feature on this topic, with more things to try if this didn’t help!
Take care!
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The Book of Lymph – by Lisa Levitt Gainsely
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The book starts with an overview of what lymph is and why it matters, before getting into the main meat of the book, which is lymphatic massage techniques to improve lymphatic flow/drainage throughout different parts of the body, and in the context of an assortment of common maladies that may merit particular attention.
There’s an element of aesthetic medicine here, and improving beauty, but there’s also a whole section devoted to such things as breast care and the like (bearing in mind, the lymphatic system is one of our main defenses against cancer). There’s also a lot about managing lymph in the context of chronic health conditions.
The style is light pop-science; the science is explained clearly throughout, but without academic citations every few lines as some books might have. The author is, after all, a practitioner (CLT) and/but not an academic.
Bottom line: if you’d like to improve your lymphatic health, whether for beauty or health maintenance or recovery, this book will walk you through it.
Click here to check out The Book of Lymph, and give yours some love!
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