How To Know When You’re Healing Emotionally

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The healing process can be humbling but rewarding, leading to deep fulfillment and inner peace. Discomfort in healing can be part of growth and self-integration. Because of that, progress sometimes looks and/or feels like progress… And sometimes it doesn’t. Here’s how to recognize it, though:

Small but important parts of a bigger process

Nine signs indicating you are healing:

  1. Allowing emotions: you acknowledge and process both negative and positive emotions instead of suppressing them.
  2. Improved boundaries: you improve at expressing and maintaining boundaries, overcoming fear of rejection, guilt, and shame.
  3. Acceptance of past: you accept difficult past experiences and their impact, reducing their hold over you.
  4. Less reactivity: you become less reactive and more thoughtful in responses, practicing emotional self-regulation.
  5. Non-linear healing: you understand that healing involves ups and downs and isn’t a straightforward journey.
  6. Stepping out of your comfort zone: you start taking brave steps that previously induced fear or anxiety.
  7. Handling disappointments: you accept setbacks and respond to them healthily, without losing motivation.
  8. Inner peace: you develop a sense of wholeness, and forgiveness for yourself and others, reducing self-sabotage.
  9. Welcoming support: you become more open to seeking and accepting help, moving beyond pride and shame.

In short: healing (especially the very first part: accepting that something needs healing) can be uncomfortable but lead to much better places in life.  It’s okay if healing is slow; everyone’s journey is different, and doing your best is enough.

For more on each of these, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like:

Why You Can’t Just “Get Over” Trauma

Take care!

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  • Your Brain On (And Off) Estrogen

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    This is Dr. Lisa Mosconi. She’s a professor of Neuroscience in Neurology and Radiology, and is one of the 1% most influential scientists of the 21st century. That’s not a random number or an exaggeration; it has to do with citation metrics collated over 20 years:

    A standardized citation metrics author database annotated for scientific field

    What does she want us to know?

    Women’s brains age differently from men’s

    This is largely, of course, due to menopause, and as such is a generalization, but it’s a statistically safe generalization, because:

    • Most women go through menopause—and most women who don’t, avoid it by dying pre-menopause, so the aging also does not occur in those cases
    • Menopause is very rarely treated immediately—not least of all because menopause is diagnosed officially when it has been one year since one’s last period, so there’s almost always a year of “probably” first, and often numerous years, in the case of periods slowing down before stopping
    • Menopausal HRT is great, but doesn’t completely negate that menopause occurred—because of the delay in starting HRT, some damage can be done already and can take years to reverse.

    Medicated and unmedicated menopause proceed very differently from each other, and this fact has historically caused obfuscation of a lot of research into age-related neurodegeneration.

    For example, it is well-established that women get Alzheimer’s at nearly twice the rate than men do, and deteriorate more rapidly after onset, too.

    Superficially, one might conclude “estrogen is to blame” or maybe “the xx-chromosomal karyotype is to blame”.

    The opposite, however, is true with regard to estrogen—estrogen appears to be a protective factor in women’s neurological health, which is why increased neurodegeneration occurs when estrogen levels decline (for example, in menopause).

    For a full rundown on this, see:

    Alzheimer’s Sex Differences May Not Be What They Appear

    It’s not about the extra X

    Dr. Mosconi examines this in detail in her book “The XX Brain”. To summarize and oversimplify a little: the XX karyotype by itself makes no difference, or more accurately, the XY karyotype by itself makes no difference (because biologically speaking, female physiological attributes are more “default” than male ones; it is only 12,000ish* years of culture that has flipped the social script on this).

    *Why 12,000ish years? It’s because patriarchalism largely began with settled agriculture, for reasons that are fascinating but beyond the scope of this article, which is about health science, not archeology.

    The topic of “which is biologically default” is relevant, because the XY karyotype (usually) informs the body “ignore previous instructions about ovaries, and adjust slightly to make them into testes instead”, which in turn (usually) results in a testosterone-driven system instead of an estrogen-driven system. And that is what makes the difference to the brain.

    One way we can see that it’s about the hormones not the chromosomes, is in cases of androgen insensitivity syndrome, in which the natal “congratulations, it’s a girl” pronouncement may later be in conflict with the fact it turns out she had XY chromosomes all along, but the androgenic instructions never got delivered successfully, so she popped out with fairly typical female organs. And, relevantly for Dr. Mosconi, a typically female brain that will age in a typically female fashion, because it’s driven by estrogen, regardless of the Y-chromosome.

    The good news

    The good news from all of this is that while we can’t (with current science, anyway) do much about our chromosomes, we can do plenty about our hormones, and also, the results of changes in same.

    Remember, Dr. Mosconi is not an endocrinologist, nor a gynecologist, but a neurologist. As such, she makes the case for how a true interdisciplinary team for treating menopause should not confined to the narrow fields usually associated with “bikini medicine”, but should take into account that a lot of menopause-related changes are neurological in nature.

    We recently reviewed another book by Dr. Mosconi:

    The Menopause Brain – by Dr. Lisa Mosconi

    …and as we noted there, many sources will mention “brain fog” as a symptom of menopause, Dr. Mosconi can (and will) point to a shadowy patch on a brain scan and say “that’s the brain fog, there”.

    And so on, for other symptoms that are often dismissed as “all in your head”, as though that’s a perfectly acceptable place for problems to be.

    This is critical, because it’s treating real neurological things as the real things they are.

    Dr. Mosconi’s advice, beyond HRT

    Dr. Mosconi notes that brain health tends to dip during perimenopause but often recovers, showing the brain’s resilience to hormonal shifts. As such, all is not lost if for whatever reason, hormone replacement therapy isn’t a viable option for you.

    Estrogen plays a crucial role in brain energy, and women’s declining estrogen levels during menopause increase the need for antioxidants to protect brain health—something not often talked about.

    Specifically, Dr. Mosconi tells us, women need more antioxidants and have different metabolic responses to diets compared to men.*

    *Yes, even though men usually have negligible estrogen, because their body (and thus brain, being also part of their body) is running on testosterone instead, which is something that will only happen if either you are producing normal male amounts of testosterone (requires normal male testes) or you are taking normal male amounts of testosterone (requires big bottles of testosterone; this isn’t the kind of thing you can get from a low dose of testogel as sometimes prescribed as part of menopausal HRT to perk your metabolism up).

    Note: despite women being a slight majority on Earth, and despite an aging population in wealthy nations, meaning “a perimenopausal woman” is thus the statistically average person in, for example, the US, and despite the biological primacy of femaleness… Medicine still mostly looks to men as the “default person”, which in this case can result in seriously low-balled estimates of what antioxidants are needed.

    In terms of supplements, therefore, she recommends:

    • Antioxidants: key for brain health, especially in women. Rich sources include fruits (especially berries) and vegetables. Then there’s the world’s most-consumed antioxidant, which is…
    • Coffee: Italian-style espresso has the highest antioxidant power. Adding a bit of fat (e.g. oat milk) helps release caffeine more slowly, reducing jitters. Taking it alongside l-theanine also “flattens the curve” and thus improves its overall benefits.
    • Flavonoids: important for both men and women but particularly essential for women. Found in many fruits and vegetables.
    • Chocolate: dark chocolate is an excellent source of antioxidants and flavonoids!
    • Turmeric: a natural neuroprotectant with anti-inflammatory properties, best boosted by taking with black pepper, which improves absorption as well as having many great qualities of its own.
    • B Vitamins: B6, B9, and B12 are essential for anti-aging and brain health; deficiency in B6 is rare, while deficiency in B9 (folate) and especially B12 is very common later in life.
    • Vitamins C & E: important antioxidants, but caution is needed with fat-soluble vitamins to avoid toxicity.
    • Omega-3s: important for brain health; can be consumed in the diet, but supplements may be necessary.
    • Caution with zinc: zinc can support immunity and endocrine health (and thus, indirectly, brain health) but may be harmful in excess, particularly for brain health.
    • Probiotics & Prebiotics: beneficial for gut health, and in Dr. Mosconi’s opinion, hard to get sufficient amounts from diet alone.

    For more pointers, you might want to check out the MIND diet, that is to say, the “Mediterranean-DASH Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay” upgrade to make the Mediterranean diet even brain-healthier than it is by default:

    Four Ways To Upgrade The Mediterranean Diet

    Want to know more from Dr. Mosconi?

    Here’s her TED talk:

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    Enjoy!

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  • The Plant Power Doctor

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    A Prescription For GLOVES

    Dr. Genma Newman is a Doctor with expertise in Plant Power.

    This is Dr. Gemma Newman. She’s a GP (General Practitioner, British equivalent to what is called a family doctor in America), and she realized that she was treating a lot of patients while nobody was actually getting better.

    So, she set out to help people actually get better… But how?

    The biggest thing

    The single biggest thing she recommends is a whole foods plant-based diet, as that’s a starting point for a lot of other things.

    Click here for an assortment of short videos by her and other health professionals on this topic!

    Specifically, she advocates to “love foods that love you back”, and make critical choices when deciding between ingredients.

    Click here to see her recipes and tips (this writer is going to try out some of these!)

    What’s this about GLOVES?

    We recently reviewed her book “Get Well, Stay Well: The Six Healing Health Habits You Need To Know”, and now we’re going to talk about those six things in more words than we had room for previously.

    They are six things that she says we should all try to get every day. It’s a lot simpler than a lot of checklists, and very worthwhile:

    Gratitude

    May seem like a wishy-washy one to start with, but there’s a lot of evidence for this making a big difference to health, largely on account of how it lowers stress and anxiety. See also:

    How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

    Love

    This is about social connections, mostly. We are evolved to be a social species, and while some of us want/need more or less social interaction than others, generally speaking we thrive best in a community, with all the social support that comes with that. See also:

    How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

    Outside

    This is about fresh air and it’s about moving and it’s about seeing some green plants (and if available, blue sky), marvelling at the wonder of nature and benefiting in many ways. See also:

    Walking… Better.

    Vegetables

    We spoke earlier about the whole foods plant-based diet for which she advocates, so this is that. While reducing/skipping meat etc is absolutely a thing, the focus here is on diversity of vegetables; it is best to make a game of seeing how many different ones you can include in a week (not just the same three!). See also:

    Three Critical Kitchen Prescriptions

    Exercise

    At least 150 minutes moderate exercise per week, and some kind of resistance work. It can be calisthenics or something; it doesn’t have to be lifting weights if that’s not your thing! See also:

    Resistance Is Useful! (Especially As We Get Older)

    Sleep

    Quality and quantity. Yes, 7–9 hours, yes, regardless of age. Unless you’re a child or a bodybuilder, in which case make it nearer 12. But for most of us, 7–9. See also:

    Why You Probably Need More Sleep

    Want to know more?

    As well as the book we mentioned earlier, you might also like:

    The Plant Power Doctor – by Dr. Gemma Newman

    While the other book we mentioned is available for pre-order for Americans (it’s already released for the rest of the world), this one is available to all right now, so that’s a bonus too.

    If books aren’t your thing (or even if they are), you might like her award-winning podcast:

    The Wellness Edit

    Take care!

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  • Which Sugars Are Healthier, And Which Are Just The Same?

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    From Apples to Bees, and High-Fructose Cs

    We asked you for your (health-related) policy on sugar. The trends were as follows:

    • About half of all respondents voted for “I try to limit sugar intake, but struggle because it’s in everything”
    • About a quarter of all respondents voted for “Refined sugar is terrible; natural sugars (e.g. honey, agave) are fine”
    • About a quarter of all respondents voted for “Sugar is sugar and sugar is bad; I avoid it entirely”
    • One (1) respondent voted for “Sugar is an important source of energy, so I consume plenty”

    Writer’s note: I always forget to vote in these, but I’d have voted for “I try to limit sugar intake, but struggle because it’s in everything”.

    Sometimes I would like to make my own [whatever] to not have the sugar, but it takes so much more time, and often money too.

    So while I make most things from scratch (and typically spend about an hour cooking each day), sometimes store-bought is the regretfully practical timesaver/moneysaver (especially when it comes to condiments).

    So, where does the science stand?

    There has, of course, been a lot of research into the health impact of sugar.

    Unfortunately, a lot of it has been funded by sugar companies, which has not helped. Conversely, there are also studies funded by other institutions with other agendas to push, and some of them will seek to make sugar out to be worse than it is.

    So for today’s mythbusting overview, we’ve done our best to quality-control studies for not having financial conflicts of interest. And of course, the usual considerations of favoring high quality studies where possible Large sample sizes, good method, human subjects, that sort of thing.

    Sugar is sugar and sugar is bad: True or False?

    False and True, respectively.

    • Sucrose is sucrose, and is generally bad.
    • Fructose is fructose, and is worse.

    Both ultimately get converted into glycogen (if not used immediately for energy), but for fructose, this happens mostly* in the liver, which a) taxes it b) goes very unregulated by the pancreas, causing potentially dangerous blood sugar spikes.

    This has several interesting effects:

    • Because fructose doesn’t directly affect insulin levels, it doesn’t cause insulin insensitivity (yay)
    • Because fructose doesn’t directly affect insulin levels, this leaves hyperglycemia untreated (oh dear)
    • Because fructose is metabolized by the liver and converted to glycogen which is stored there, it’s one of the main contributors to non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (at this point, we’re retracting our “yay”)

    Read more: Fructose and sugar: a major mediator of non-alcoholic fatty liver disease

    *”Mostly” in the liver being about 80% in the liver. The remaining 20%ish is processed by the kidneys, where it contributes to kidney stones instead. So, still not fabulous.

    Fructose is very bad, so we shouldn’t eat too much fruit: True or False?

    False! Fruit is really not the bad guy here. Fruit is good for you!

    Fruit does contain fructose yes, but not actually that much in the grand scheme of things, and moreover, fruit contains (unless you have done something unnatural to it) plenty of fiber, which mitigates the impact of the fructose.

    • A medium-sized apple (one of the most sugary fruits there is) might contain around 11g of fructose
    • A tablespoon of high-fructose corn syrup can have about 27g of fructose (plus about 3g glucose)

    Read more about it: Effects of high-fructose (90%) corn syrup on plasma glucose, insulin, and C-peptide in non-insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus and normal subjects

    However! The fiber content (in fruit) mitigates the impact of the fructose almost entirely anyway.

    And if you take fruits that are high in sugar and/but high in polyphenols, like berries, they now have a considerable net positive impact on glycemic health:

    You may be wondering: what was that about “unless you have done something unnatural to it”?

    That’s mostly about juicing. Juicing removes much (or all) of the fiber, and if you do that, you’re basically back to shooting fructose into your veins:

    Natural sugars like honey, agave, and maple syrup, are healthier than refined sugars: True or False?

    TrueSometimes, and sometimes marginally.

    This is partly because of the glycemic index and glycemic load. The glycemic index scores tail off thus:

    • table sugar = 65
    • maple syrup = 54
    • honey = 46
    • agave syrup = 15

    So, that’s a big difference there between agave syrup and maple syrup, for example… But it might not matter if you’re using a very small amount, which means it may have a high glycemic index but a low glycemic load.

    Note, incidentally, that table sugar, sucrose, is a disaccharide, and is 50% glucose and 50% fructose.

    The other more marginal health benefits come from that fact that natural sugars are usually found in foods high in other nutrients. Maple syrup is very high in manganese, for example, and also a fair source of other minerals.

    But… Because of its GI, you really don’t want to be relying on it for your nutrients.

    Wait, why is sugar bad again?

    We’ve been covering mostly the more “mythbusting” aspects of different forms of sugar, rather than the less controversial harms it does, but let’s give at least a cursory nod to the health risks of sugar overall:

    That last one, by the way, was a huge systematic review of 37 large longitudinal cohort studies. Results varied depending on what, specifically, was being examined (e.g. total sugar, fructose content, sugary beverages, etc), and gave up to 200% increased cancer risk in some studies on sugary beverages, but 95% increased risk is a respectable example figure to cite here, pertaining to added sugars in foods.

    And finally…

    The 56 Most Common Names for Sugar (Some Are Tricky)

    How many did you know?

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  • Herring vs Sardines – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing herring to sardine, we picked the sardines.

    Why?

    In terms of macros, they are about equal in protein and fat, but herring has about 2x the saturated fat and about 2x the cholesterol. So, sardines win this category easily.

    When it comes to vitamins, herring has more of vitamins B1, B2, B6, B9, and B12, while sardines have more of vitamins B3, E, and K. That’s a 5:3 win for herring, although it’s worth mentioning that the margins of difference are mostly not huge, except for that sardines have 26x the vitamin K content. Still, by the overall numbers, this one’s a win for herring.

    In the category of minerals, herring is not richer in any minerals*, while sardines are richer in calcium, copper, iron, manganese, phosphorus, and selenium, meaning a clear win for sardines.

    *unless we want to consider mercury to be a mineral, in which case, let’s mention that on average, herring is 6x higher in mercury. However, we consider that also a win for sardines.

    All in all, sardines are better for the heart (much lower in cholesterol), bones (much higher in calcium), and brain (much lower in mercury).

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Farmed Fish vs Wild Caught: Antibiotics, Mercury, & More

    Take care!

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  • Good to Go – by Christie Aschwanden

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    Many of us may more often need to recover from a day of moving furniture than running a marathon, but the science of recovery can still teach us a lot. The author, herself an endurance athlete and much-decorated science journalist, sets out to do just that.

    She explores a lot of recovery methods, and examines whether the science actually backs them up, and if so, to what degree. She also, in true science journalism style, talks to a lot of professionals ranging from fellow athletes to fellow scientists, to get their input too—she is nothing if not thorough, and this is certainly not a book of one person’s opinion with something to sell.

    Indeed, on the contrary, her findings show that some of the best recovery methods are the cheapest, or even free. She also looks at the psychological aspect though, and why many people are likely to continue with things that objectively do not work better than placebo.

    The style is very easy-reading jargon-free pop-science, while nevertheless being backed up with hundreds of studies cited in the bibliography—a perfect balance of readability and reliability.

    Bottom line: for those who wish to be better informed about how to recover quickly and easily, this book is a treasure trove of information well-presented.

    Click here to check out Good To Go, and always be good to go!

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  • Your Future Self – by Dr. Hal Herschfield

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    How do you want to be, one year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now?

    Now, how would you have answered that same question one, five, ten years ago?

    The reality, according to Dr. Hal Herschfield, is that often we go blundering into the future blindly, because we lack empathy with our future self. Our past self, we can have strong feelings about. They could range from compassion to shame, pride to frustration, but we’ll have feelings. Our future self? A mystery.

    What he proposes in this book, therefore, is not merely the obvious “start planning now, little habits that add up”, etc, but also to address the underlying behavioral science of why we don’t.

    Starting with exercises of empathy for our tomorrow-self (literally tomorrow, i.e. the day after this one), and building a mindset of “paying it forward”—to ourself.

    By treating our future self like a loved one, we can find ourselves a lot more motivated to actually do the things that future-us will thank us for.

    The real value of this book is in the progressive exercises, because it’s a “muscle” that most people haven’t exercised much. But when we do? What a superpower it becomes!

    Bottom line: if you know what you “should” do, but somehow just don’t do it, this book will help connect you to your future self and work as a better team to get there… the way you actually want.

    Click here to check out Your Future Self, and start by gifting this book to future-you!

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