How to Find Happiness In Yourself – by Michelle Mann
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A lot of books about happiness tell you what to pursue, generally. What things to focus on, and that’s good, but incomplete. This book does cover those things too (complete with academic sources to back up what really works), but also goes further:
Michelle Mann gives 25 key habits that will cumulatively build happiness, which is what it’s really about. After all:
- If you watch your favourite movie, you’ll be happy for 90 minutes (or 9 hours if it’s The Lord of the Rings).
- If you build daily habits that add happiness to you, your surroundings, and those around you, you’ll be happy for life.
They do also cover happiness while going through difficult times, such as divorce, job loss, illness, or bereavement.
Sometimes, knowing what we “should” do in theory is the easy part. Where Mann excels here is in providing explanations of each habit. This means that rather than it being some platitude, the principles underlying it are truly understood… and thus motivate us to actually apply the advice and build the habits into our life.
While the explanations are therefore the greatest value of the book, we do recommend copying out the 25 habits (which are effectively subchapter headings) and putting them somewhere to read often.
Bottom line: we recommend getting yourself (and/or your loved ones!) a copy of this book. You (and/or they) will be happy you did!
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Cooling Bulgarian Tarator
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The “Bulgarian” qualifier is important here because the name “tarator” is used to refer to several different dishes from nearby-ish countries, and they aren’t the same. Today’s dish (a very healthy and deliciously cooling cucumber soup) isn’t well-known outside of Bulgaria, but it should be, and with your help we can share it around the world. It’s super-easy and takes only about 10 minutes to prepare:
You will need
- 1 large cucumber, cut into small (¼” x ¼”) cubes or small (1″ x ⅛”) batons (the size is important; any smaller and we lose texture; any larger and we lose the balance of the soup, and also make it very different to eat with a spoon)
- 2 cups plain unsweetened yogurt (your preference what kind; live-cultured of some kind is best, and yes, vegan is fine too)
- 1½ cup water, chilled but not icy (fridge-temperature is great)
- ½ cup chopped walnuts (substitutions are not advised; omit if allergic)
- ½ bulb garlic, minced
- 3 tbsp fresh dill, chopped
- 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
- 1 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
- ½ tsp MSG* or 1 tsp low-sodium salt
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Mix the cucumber, garlic, 2 tbsp of the dill, oil, MSG-or-salt and pepper in a big bowl
2) Add the yogurt and mix it in too
3) Add the cold water slowly and stir thoroughly; it may take a minute to achieve smooth consistency of the liquid—it should be creamy but thin, and definitely shouldn’t stand up by itself
4) Top with the chopped nuts, and the other tbsp of dill as a garnish
5) Serve immediately, or chill in the fridge until ready to serve. It’s perfect as a breakfast or a light lunch, by the way.
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:
- How To Really Look After Your Joints ← this is about how cucumber has phytochemicals that outperform glucosamine and chondroitin by 200%, at 1/135th of the dose
- Making Friends With Your Gut (You Can Thank Us Later)
- Is Dairy Scary? ← short answer in terms of human health is “not if it’s fermented”
- Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!
- The Many Health Benefits Of Garlic
- Is “Extra Virgin” Worth It?
- Black Pepper’s Impressive Anti-Cancer Arsenal (And More)
- Monosodium Glutamate: Sinless Flavor-Enhancer Or Terrible Health Risk? ← *for those who are worried about the health aspects of MSG; it is healthier and safer than table salt
Take care!
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Ending Aging – by Dr. Aubrey de Grey
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We know about how to slow aging. We know about diet, exercise, sleep, intermittent fasting, and other lifestyle tweaks to make. But how much can we turn back the clock, according to science?
Dr. Aubrey de Grey’s foundational principle is simple: the body is a biological machine, and aging is fundamentally an engineering problem.
He then outlines the key parts to that problem: the princple ways in which cells (and DNA) get damaged, and what we need to do about that in each case. Car tires get damaged over time; our approach is to replace them within a certain period of time so that they don’t blow out. In the body, it’s a bit similar with cells so that we don’t get cancer, for example.
The book goes into detail regards each of the seven main ways we accumulate this damage, and highlights avenues of research looking to prevent it, and in at least some cases, the measures already available to so.
Bottom line: if you want a hard science overview of actual rejuvenation research in biogerontology, this is a book that presents that comprehensively, without assuming prior knowledge.
Click here to check out Ending Aging and never stop learning!
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Staying Sane In A Hyper-Connected World
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Staying Sane In A Hyper-Connected World
There’s a war over there, a genocide in progress somewhere else, and another disease is ravaging the population of somewhere most Americans would struggle to point out on the map. Not only that, but that one politician is at it again, and sweeping wildfires are not doing climate change any favors.
To borrow an expression from Gen-Z…
“Oof”.
A Very Modern Mental Health Menace
For thousands of years, we have had wars and genocides and plagues and corrupt politicians and assorted major disasters. Dire circumstances are not new to us as a species. So what is new?
As some reactionary said during the dot-com boom, “the Internet doesn’t make people stupid; it just makes their stupidity more accessible”.
The same is true now of The Horrors™.
The Internet doesn’t, by and large, make the world worse. But what it does do is make the bad things much, much more accessible.
Understanding and empathy are not bad things, but watch out…
- When soldiers came home from the First World War, those who hadn’t been there had no conception of the horrors that had been endured. That made it harder for the survivors to get support. That was bad.
- Nowadays, while mass media covering horrors certainly doesn’t convey the half of it, even the half it does convey can be overwhelming. This is also bad.
The insidious part is: while people are subjectively reporting good physical/mental health, the reports of the symptoms of poor physical/mental health from the same population do not agree:
Stress in America 2023: A nation grappling with psychological impacts of collective trauma
Should we just not watch the news?
In principle that’s an option, but it’s difficult to avoid, unless you truly live under a rock, and also do not frequent any social media at all. And besides, isn’t it our duty as citizens of this world to stay informed? How else can we make informed choices?
Staying informed, mindfully
There are steps that can be taken to keep ourselves informed, while protecting our mental health:
- Choose your sources wisely. Primary sources (e.g. tweets and videos from people who are there) will usually be most authentic, but also most traumatizing. Dispassionate broadsheets may gloss over or misrepresent things more (something that can be countered a bit by reading an opposing view from a publication you hate on principle), but will offer more of an emotional buffer.
- Boundary your consumption of the news. Set a timer and avoid doomscrolling. Your phone (or other device) may help with this if you set a screentime limit per app where you consume that kind of media.
- Take (again, boundaried) time to reflect. If you don’t, your brain will keep grinding at it “like a fork in the garbage disposal”. Talking about your feelings on the topic with a trusted person is great; journaling is also a top-tier more private option.
- If you feel helpless, help. Taking even small actions to help in the face of suffering somewhere else (e.g. donating to relief funds, engaging in advocacy / hounding your government about it), can help alleviate feelings of anguish and helplessness. And of course, as a bonus, it actually helps in the real world too.
- When you relax, relax fully. Even critical care doctors need downtime, nobody can be “always on” without burning out. So whatever distracts and relaxes you completely, make sure to make time for that too.
Want to know more?
That’s all we have room for today, but you might like to check out:
- Distressing images and videos can take a toll on our mental health. How can we stay informed without being traumatised?
- PTSD expert on how to protect yourself and your kids from overexposure to war images from the Mideast
You also might like our previous main features:
- C-PTSD, And What To Do When Life Genuinely Sucks
- A Surprisingly Powerful Tool: Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing
Take care!
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Walnut, Apricot, & Sage Nut Roast
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It’s important to have at least one good nut roast recipe in your repertoire. It’s something that’s very good for making a good dish out of odds and ends that are in your house, and done well, it’s not only filling and nutritious, but a tasty treat too. Done badly, everyone knows the results can be unfortunate… Making this the perfect way to show off your skills!
You will need
- 1 cup walnuts
- ½ cup almonds
- ¼ cup whole mixed seeds (chia, pumpkin, & poppy are great)
- ¼ cup ground flax (also called flax meal)
- 1 medium onion, finely chopped
- 1 large carrot, grated
- 4 oz dried apricots, chopped
- 3 oz mushrooms, chopped
- 1 oz dried goji berries
- ½ bulb garlic, crushed
- 2 tbsp fresh sage, chopped
- 1 tbsp nutritional yeast
- 2 tsp dried rosemary
- 2 tsp dried thyme
- 2 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
- 1 tsp yeast extract (even if you don’t like it; trust us; it will work) dissolved in ¼ cup hot water
- ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt
- Extra virgin olive oil
Method
(we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)
1) Preheat the oven to 350℉ / 180℃, and line a 2 lb loaf tin with baking paper.
2) Heat some oil in a skillet over a moderate heat, and fry the onion for a few minutes until translucent. Add the garlic, carrot, and mushrooms, cooking for another 5 minutes, stirring well. Set aside to cool a little once done.
3) Process the nuts in a food processor, pulsing until they are well-chopped but not so much that they turn into flour.
4) Combine the nuts, vegetables, and all the other ingredients in a big bowl, and mix thoroughly. If it doesn’t have enough structural integrity to be thick and sticky and somewhat standing up by itself if you shape it, add more ground flax. If it is too dry, add a little water but be sparing.
5) Spoon the mixture into the loaf tin, press down well (or else it will break upon removal), cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil, and bake for a further 15 minutes, until firm and golden. When done, allow it to rest in the tin for a further 15 minutes, before turning it out.
6) Serve, as part of a roast dinner (roast potatoes, vegetables, gravy, etc).
Enjoy!
Want to learn more?
For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:
- Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!
- Chia Seeds vs Pumpkin Seeds – Which is Healthier?
- Apricots vs Peaches – Which is Healthier?
- Goji Berries: Which Benefits Do They Really Have?
- Ergothioneine: “The Longevity Vitamin” (That’s Not A Vitamin)
Take care!
Don’t Forget…
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Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
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Cross That Bridge – by Samuel J. Lucas
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Books of this genre usually have several chapters of fluff before getting to the point. You know the sort:
- Let me tell you about some cherry-picked celebrity stories that overlook survivorship bias
- Let me tell you my life story, the bad parts
- My life story continued, the good parts now
- What this book can do for you, an imaginative pep talk that keeps circling back to me
…then there will be two or three chapters of the actual advertised content, and then a closing chapter that’s another pep talk.
This book, in contrast, throws that out of the window. Instead, Lucas provides a ground-up structure… within which, he makes a point of giving value in each section:
- exercises
- summaries
- actionable advice
For those who like outlines, lists, and overviews (as we do!), this is perfect. There are also plenty of exercises to do, so for those who like exercises, this book will be great too!
Caveat: occasionally, the book’s actionable advices are direct but unclear, for example:
- Use the potential and power of tea, to solve problems
Context: there was no context. This was a bullet-pointed item, with no explanation. It was not a callback to anything earlier; this is the first (and only) reference to tea.
However! The book as a whole is a treasure trove of genuine tips, tools, and voice-of-experience wisdom. Occasional comments may leave you scratching your head, but if you take value from the rest, then the book was already more than worth its while.
Don’t Forget…
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Who Initiates Sex & Why It Matters
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In an ideal world, it wouldn’t matter any more than who first says “let’s get something to eat” when hungry. But in reality, it can cause serious problems on both sides:
Fear and loathing?
The person who initiates gets the special prize of an n% chance of experiencing rejection, and then what? Try again, and again, and risk seeming pushy? Or leave the ball in the other person’s court, where it may then go untouched for the next few months, because (in the most positive scenario) they were waiting for you to initiate at a better time for them?
The person who does not initiate, and/but does not want sex at that time, gets the special prize of either making their partner feel unwanted, insecure, and perhaps unloved, or else grudgingly consenting to sex that’s going to be no fun while your heart’s not in it, and thus create the same end result plus you had an extra bad experience?
So, that sucks all around:
- Initiating touch (sex or cuddling) can feel like a test of being wanted, whereupon a lack of initiation or response may be misinterpreted as a lack of love or appreciation.
- Meanwhile, non-reciprocation might stem from exhaustion or unrelated issues. For many, it’s a physiological lottery.
10almonds note: not discussed in this video, but for many couples, problems can also arise because one partner or another just isn’t showing up with the expected physical signs of physiological arousal, so even if they say (and mean!) an enthusiastic “yes”, their body’s signs get misread as a “not really, though”, resulting in one partner feeling rejected, and both feeling inadequate—on account of something that was completely unrelated to how the person actually felt about the prospect of sex*.
*Sometimes, physiological arousal will simply not accompany psychological arousal, no matter how sincere the latter. And on the flipside, sometimes the signs of physiological arousal will just show up without psychological arousal. The human body is just like that sometimes. We all must listen to our partners’ words, not their genitals!
The solution to this problem is thus the same as the solution to the rest of the problem that is discussed in the video, and it’s: good communication.
That can be easier said than done, of course—not everyone is at their most eloquent in such situations! Which is why it can be important to have those conversations first outside of the bedroom when the stakes are low/non-existent.
Even with the best communication, a more general, overarching non-reciprocity (real or perceived) of sexual desire can cause bitterness, resentment, and can ultimately be relationship-ending if a resolution that’s acceptable to everyone involved is not found.
Ultimately, the work as a couple must begin from within as individuals—addressing self-worth issues to better navigate love and intimacy.
For more on all of this, enjoy:
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!
Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
Relationships: When To Stick It Out & When To Call It Quits
Take care!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
