How Love Changes Your Brain

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When we fall in love, have a romantic attachment, or have a sad breakup, there’s a lot going on neurochemically, and also with different parts of the brain taking the wheel. Dr. Shannon Odell explains:

The neurochemistry of love

Of course, not every love will follow this exact pattern, but here’s perhaps the most common one:

Infatuation stage: This early phase is characterized by obsessive thoughts and a strong desire to be with the person. The ventral tegmental area (VTA), the brain’s reward center, becomes highly active, releasing dopamine, one of the feel-good neurotransmitters, which makes love feel intoxicating, similar to addictive substances. Additionally, activity in the prefrontal cortex, responsible for critical thinking and judgment, decreases, causing people to see their partners through “rose-tinted glasses”. However, this intense stage usually lasts only a few months.

Attachment stage: As the relationship progresses, it shifts into a more stable and long-lasting phase. This stage is driven by oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones that promote trust/bonding and arousal, respectively. These same hormones also play a role in family and friendship connections. Oxytocin, in particular, reduces stress hormones, which is why spending time with a loved one can feel so calming.

Heartbreak stage: When a relationship ends, the insular cortex processes emotional and physical pain, making heartbreak feel as painful as a physical injury. Meanwhile, the VTA remains active, leading to intense longing and cravings for the lost partner, similar to withdrawal symptoms. The stress axis also activates, causing distress and restlessness. Over time, higher brain regions help regulate these emotions. Healing strategies such as exercise, socializing, and listening to music can help by triggering dopamine release and easing the pain of heartbreak.

For more on all of this, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like:

Neurotransmitter Cheatsheet

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  • How Aging Changes At 44 And Again At 60 (And What To Do About It)

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    As it turns out, aging is not linear. Or rather: chronological aging may be, but biological aging isn’t, and there are parts of our life where it kicks into a different gear. This study looked at 108 people (65 of whom women) between the ages of 25 and 75, as part of a longitudinal cohort study, tracked for around 2–8 years (imprecise as not all follow-up durations were the same). They took frequent blood and urine samples, and tested them for thousands of different molecules and analyzing changes in gene expression, proteomic, blood biomarkers, and more. All things that are indicators of various kinds of health/disease, and which might seem more simple but it isn’t: aging.

    Here’s what they found:

    Landmark waypoints

    At 44, significant changes occur in the metabolism, including notably the metabolism of carbs, caffeine, and alcohol. A large portion of this may be hormone related, as that’s a time of change not just for those undergoing the menopause, but also the andropause (not entirely analogous to the menopause, but it does usually entail a significant reduction in sex hormone production; in this case, testosterone).

    However, the study authors also hypothesize that lifestyle factors may be relevant, as one’s 40s are often a stressful time, and an increase in alcohol consumption often occurs around the same time as one’s ability to metabolize it drops, resulting in further dysfunctional alcohol metabolism.

    At 60, carb metabolism slows again, with big changes in glucose metabolism specifically, as well as an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, and a decline in kidney function. In case that wasn’t enough: also an increase free radical pathology, meaning a greatly increased risk of cancer. Immune function drops too.

    What to do about this: the recommendation is of course to be proactive, and look after various aspects of your health before it becomes readily apparent that you need to. For example, good advice for anyone approaching 44 might be to quit alcohol, go easy on caffeine, and eat a diet that is conducive to good glucose metabolism. Similarly, good advice for anyone approaching 60 might be to do the same, and also pay close attention to keeping your kidneys healthy. Getting regular tests done is also key, including optional extras that your doctor might not suggest but you should ask for, such as blood urea nitrogen levels (biomarkers of kidney function). The more we look after each part of our body, the more they can look after us in turn, and the fewer/smaller problems we’ll have down the line.

    If you, dear reader, are approaching the age 44 or 60… Be neither despondent nor complacent. We must avoid falling into the dual traps of “Well, that’s it, bad health is around the corner, nothing I can do about it; that’s nature”, vs “I’ll be fine, statistics are for other people, and don’t apply to me”.

    Those are averages, and we do not have to be average. Every population has statistical outliers. But it would be hubris to think none of this will apply to us and we can just carry on regardless. So, for those of us who are approaching one of those two ages… It’s time to saddle up, knuckle down, and do our best!

    For more on all of this, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Also, if you’d like to read the actual paper by Dr. Xiaotao Shen et al., here it is:

    Nonlinear dynamics of multi-omics profiles during human aging ← honestly, it’s a lot clearer and more informative than the video, and also obviously discusses things in a lot more detail than we have room to here

    Take care!

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  • Your Vitamins are Obsolete: The Vitamer Revolution – by Dr. Sheldon Zablow

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    First, what this is not:a book to tell you “throw out your vitamins and just eat these foods”.

    This book focuses mainly on two vitamins in which deficiencies are common especially as we get older: B9 and B12.

    So, what does the title mean? It’s not so much that your vitamins are obsolete—that would imply that they were more useful previously, which is not the case. Rather, the most common forms of vitamins B9 and B12 provided in supplements are folic acid and cyanocobalamin, respectively, which as he demonstrates with extensive research to back up his claims, cannot be easily absorbed or used especially well.

    About those vitamers: a vitamer is simply a form of a vitamin—most vitamins we need can arrive in a variety of forms. In the case of vitamins B9 and B12, he advocates for ditching vitamers folic acid and cyanocobalamin, cheap as they are, and springing for bioactive vitamers L-methylfolate, methylcobalamin, and adenosylcobalamin.

    He also discusses (again, just as well-evidenced as the above things) why we might struggle to get enough from our diet after a certain age. For example, if trying to get these vitamins from meat, 50% of people over 50 cannot manufacture enough stomach acid to break down that protein to release the vitamins.

    And as for methyl-B12 vitamers, you might expect you can get those from meat, and technically you can, but they don’t occur in all animals, just in one kind of animal. Specifically, the kind that has the largest brain-to-body ratio. However, eating the meat of this animal can result in protein folding errors in general and Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease in particular, so the author does not recommend eating humans, however nutritionally convenient that would be.

    All this means that supplementation after a certain age really can be a sensible way to do it—but do it wisely, and pick the right vitamers.

    The style of the book is informationally dense, but very readable even for a layperson provided one starts at the beginning and reads forwards, as otherwise one will find oneself in a mire of terms whose explanations one missed when they were first introduced.

    Bottom line: if you are over 50 and/or have any known or suspected issues with vitamins B9 and/or B12, this book becomes very important reading.

    Click here to check out Your Vitamins Are Obsolete, and get your body what it needs!

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  • How Healers Heal – by Dr. Shilpi Pradhan

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    First note: the listed author here is in fact the compiler, with the authors being a collection of no fewer than 33 board-certified lifestyle medicine physicians. So, we’re not getting just a single person’s opinions/bias here!

    But what is lifestyle medicine? This book holds the six pillars of lifestyle medicine to be:

    1. Nutrition
    2. Physical activity
    3. Stress management
    4. Restorative sleep
    5. Social connections
    6. Avoidance of risky substances

    …and those things are what we read about throughout the book, both in highly educational mini-lecture form, and sometimes highly personal storytelling.

    It’s not just a “do these things” book, though yes, there’s a large part of that. It also covers wide topics, from COVID to alopecia, burnout to grief, immune disorders to mysterious chest pains (and how such mysteries are unravelled, when taken seriously).

    One of the greatest strengths of this book is that it’s very much “medicine, as it should be”, so that the reader knows how to recognize the difference.

    Bottom line: this book doesn’t fit into a very neat category, but it’s a very worthwhile book to read, and one that could help inform a decision that changes the entire path of your life or that of a loved one.

    Click here to check out How Healers Heal, and learn to recognize the healthcare you deserve!

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  • What’s Missing from Medicine – by Dr. Saray Stancic

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    Another from the ranks of “doctors who got a serious illness and it completely changed how they view the treatment of serious illness”, Dr. Stancic was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and wasn’t impressed with the treatments presented.

    Taking an evidence-based lifestyle medicine approach, she was able to not only manage her illness sufficiently to resume her normal activities, but even when so far as to run a marathon, and today boasts a symptom-free, active life.

    The subtitular six lifestyle changes are not too shocking, and include a plants-centric diet, good exercise, good sleep, stress management, avoidance of substance abuses, and a fostering of social connections, but the value here is in what she has to say about each, especially the ones that aren’t so self-explanatory and/or can even cause harm if done incorrectly (such as exercise, for example).

    The style is on the academic end of pop-science, of the kind that has frequent data tables, lots of statistics, and an extensive bibliography, but is still very readable.

    Bottom line: if you are faced with a chronic disease, or even just an increased risk of some chronic disease, or simply like to not take chances, then this is a high-value book for you.

    Click here to check out What’s Missing From Medicine, and enjoy chronic good health!

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  • When “Normal” Health Is Not What You Want

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    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝When going to sleep, I try to breathe through my nose (since everyone says that’s best). But when I wake I often find that I am breathing through my mouth. Is that normal, or should I have my nose checked out?❞

    It is quite normal, but when it comes to health, “normal” does not always mean “optimal”.

    • Good news: it is correctable!
    • Bad news: it is correctable by what may be considered rather an extreme practice that comes with its own inconveniences and health risks.

    Some people correct this by using medical tape to keep their mouth closed at night, ensuring nose-breathing. Advocates of this say that after using it for a while, nose-breathing in sleep will become automatic.

    We know of no hard science to confirm this, and cannot even offer a personal anecdote on this one. Here are some pop-sci articles that do link to the (very few) studies that have been conducted:

    This writer’s personal approach is simply to do breathing exercises when going to sleep and first thing upon awakening, and settle for imperfection in this regard while asleep.

    Meanwhile, take care!

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  • Eat To Beat Cancer

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    Controlling What We Can, To Avoid Cancer

    Every time a cell in our body is replaced, there’s a chance it will be cancerous. Exactly what that chance is depends on very many factors. Some of them we can’t control; others, we can.

    Diet is a critical, modifiable factor

    We can’t choose, for example, our genes. We can, for the most part, choose our diet. Why “for the most part”?

    • Some people live in a food desert (the Arctic Circle is a good example where food choices are limited by supply)
    • Some people have dietary restrictions (whether by health condition e.g. allergy, intolerance, etc or by personal-but-unwavering choice, e.g. vegetarian, vegan, kosher, halal, etc)

    But for most of us, most of the time, we have a good control over our diet, and so that’s an area we can and should focus on.

    Choose your animal protein wisely

    If you are vegan, you can skip this section. If you are not, then the short version is:

    • Fish: almost certainly fine
    • Poultry: the jury is out; data is leaning towards fine, though
    • Red meat: significantly increased cancer risk
    • Processed meat: significantly increased cancer risk

    For more details (and a run-down on the science behind the above super-summarized version):

    Skip The Ultra-Processed Foods

    Ok, so this one’s probably not a shocker in its simplest form:

    ❝Studies are showing us is that not only do the ultraprocessed foods increase the risk of cancer, but that after a cancer diagnosis such foods increase the risk of dying❞

    Source: Is there a connection between ultraprocessed food and cancer?

    There’s an unfortunate implication here! If you took the previous advice to heart and cut out [at least some] meat, and/but then replaced that with ultra-processed synthetic meat, then this was not a great improvement in cancer risk terms.

    Ultra-processed meat is worse than unprocessed, regardless of whether it was from an animal or was synthetic.

    In other words: if you buy textured soy pieces (a common synthetic meat), it pays to look at the ingredients, because there’s a difference between:

    • INGREDIENTS: SOY
    • INGREDIENTS: Rehydrated Textured SOY Protein (52%), Water, Rapeseed Oil, SOY Protein Concentrate, Seasoning (SULPHITES) (Dextrose, Flavourings, Salt, Onion Powder, Food Starch Modified, Yeast Extract, Colour: Red Iron Oxide), SOY Leghemoglobin, Fortified WHEAT Flour (WHEAT Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Bamboo Fibre, Methylcellulose, Tomato Purée, Salt, Raising Agent: Ammonium Carbonates

    Now, most of those original base ingredients are/were harmless per se (as are/were the grapes in wine—before processing into alcohol), but it has clearly been processed to Hell and back to do all that.

    Choose the one that just says “soy”. Or eat soybeans. Or other beans. Or lentils. Really there are a lot of options.

    About soy, by the way…

    There is (mostly in the US, mostly funded by the animal agriculture industry) a lot of fearmongering about soy. Which is ironic, given the amount of soy that is fed to livestock to be fed to humans, but it does bear addressing:

    ❝Soy foods are safe for all cancer patients and are an excellent source of plant protein. Studies show soy may improve survival after breast cancer❞

    Source: Food risks and cancer: What to avoid

    (obviously, if you have a soy allergy then you should not consume soy—for most people, the above advice stands, though)

    Advanced Glycation End-Products

    These (which are Very Bad™ for very many things, including cancer) occur specifically as a result of processing animal proteins and fats.

    Note: not even necessarily ultra-processing, just processing can do it. But ultra-processing is worse. What’s the difference, you wonder?

    The difference between “ultra-processed” and just “processed”:
    • Your average hotdog has been ultra-processed. It’s not only usually been changed with many artificial additives, it’s also been through a series of processes (physical and chemical) and ends up bearing little relation to the creature it came from.
    • Your bacon (that you bought fresh from your local butcher, not a supermarket brand of unknown provenance, and definitely not the kind that might come on the top of frozen supermarket pizza) has been processed. It’s undergone a couple of simple processes on its journey “from farm to table”. Remember also that when you cook it, that too is one more process (and one that results in a lot of AGEs).

    Read more: What’s so bad about AGEs?

    Note if you really don’t want to cut out certain foods, changing the way you cook them (i.e., the last process your food undergoes before you eat it) can also reduce AGES:

    Advanced Glycation End Products in Foods and a Practical Guide to Their Reduction in the Diet

    Get More Fiber

    ❝The American Institute for Cancer Research shows that for every 10-gram increase in fiber in the diet, you improve survival after cancer diagnosis by 13%❞

    Source: Plant-based diet is encouraged for patients with cancer

    Yes, that’s post-diagnosis, but as a general rule of thumb, what is good/bad for cancer when you have it is good/bad for cancer beforehand, too.

    If you’re thinking that increasing your fiber intake means having to add bran to everything, happily there are better ways:

    Level-Up Your Fiber Intake! (Without Difficulty Or Discomfort)

    Enjoy!

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