Healthy sex drive In Our Fifties

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It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!

In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

So, no question/request too big or small

Q: What’s a healthy sex drive for someone in their 50s?

A: If you’re happy with it, it’s healthy! If you’re not, it’s not.

This means… If you’re not (happy) and thus it’s not (healthy), you have two main options:

  1. Find a way to be happier without changing it (i.e., change your perspective)
  2. Find a way to change your sex drive (presumably: “increase it”, but we don’t like to assume)

There are hormonal and pharmaceutical remedies that may help (whatever your sex), so do speak with your doctor/pharmacist.

Additionally, if a boost to sex drive is what’s wanted, then almost anything that is good for your heart will help.

We wrote about heart health yesterday:

What Matters Most For Your Heart?

That was specifically about dietary considerations, so you might also want to check out:

The Knowledge That Harvard Medical School’s Clinical Instructor Dr. Monique Tello Thinks Everyone Should Have About Heart Health

Take care!

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Recommended

  • Fitness In Our Fifties
  • How to Eat (And Still Lose Weight) – by Dr. Andrew Jenkinson
    No diet recommendations here. Instead, this book delves into the science of hunger, metabolism, and weight regulation. It’s like a cheat code for eating and losing weight.

Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • AC: The Power of Appetite Correction – by Dr. Bert Herring

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    “Appetite Correction” is an intriguing concept, and so it intrigued us sufficiently to read this book. So what’s it about?

    It’s about modifying our response to hunger, and treating it as a messenger to whom we may say “thank you for your opinion” and then do as we already planned to do. And what is that?

    Simply, this book is about intermittent fasting, specifically, 19:5 fasting, i.e., fast for 19 hours and eat during a 5hr window each day (the author proposes 5pm–10pm, but honestly, go with what works for you).

    During the fasting period, drinking water, or consuming other non insulin-signalling things (e.g. black coffee, black tea, herbal tea, etc) is fine, but not so much as a bite of anything else (nor calorific drinks, e.g. with milk/cream or sugar in, and certainly not sodas, juices, etc).

    During the eating period, the idea is to eat at will without restriction (even unhealthy things, if such is your desire) during those 5 hours, with the exception that one should start with something healthy. In other words, you can line up that take-out if you want, but eat a carrot first to break the fast. Or some nuts. Or whatever, but healthy.

    The “appetite correction” part of it comes in with how, after a short adjustment period, you will get used to not suffering from hunger during the fasting period, and during the eating period, you will—paradoxically—be more able to practise moderation in your portions.

    Most of the book is given over the dealing with psychological difficulties/objections, as well as some social objections, but he does also explain some of the science at hand too (i.e. how intermittent fasting works, on a physiological level). On which note…

    The style is on the very light end of pop-science, and unusually, he doesn’t cite any sources for his claims at all. Now, no science that he claimed struck this reviewer as out of the ordinary, but it would have been nice to see a good few pages of bibliography at the back.

    Bottom line: this is a super quick-and-easy read that makes a strong (albeit unsourced) case for intermittent fasting. It’s probably best for someone who would like the benefits and needs some persuading, but who is not very interested in delving into the science beyond being content to understand what is explained and put it into practice.

    Click here to check out AC: The Power of Appetite Correction, and get yours where you want it!

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  • How To Make Drinking Less Harmful

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Making Drinking Less Harmful

    We often talk of the many ways alcohol harms our health, and we advocate for reducing (or eliminating) its consumption. However, it’s not necessarily as easy as all that, and it might not even be a goal that everyone has. So, if you’re going to imbibe, what can you do to mitigate the harmful effects of alcohol?

    There is no magical solution

    Sadly. If you drink alcohol, there will be some harmful effects, and nothing will completely undo that. But there are some things that can at least help—read on to learn more!

    Coffee

    It’s not the magical sober-upperer that some would like it to be, but it is good against the symptoms of alcohol intoxication, and slightly reduces the harm to your body, because it is:

    • Hydrating (whereas alcohol is dehydrating)
    • A source of antioxidants (whereas alcohol causes oxidative stress, which has nothing to do with psychological stress, and is a kind of cellular damage)
    • A stimulant, assuming it is not decaffeinated (it’s worth noting that its stimulant effects work partly by triggering vasoconstriction, which is the opposite of the vasodilation caused by alcohol)

    To this end, the best coffee for anti-alcohol effects should be:

    • Caffeinated, and strong
    • Long (we love espresso, but we need hydration here and that comes from volume!)
    • Without sugar (you don’t want to create an adverse osmotic gradient to leech water from your body)

    As for milk/cream/whatever, have it or don’t, per your usual preference. It won’t make any difference to the alcohol in your system.

    Antioxidants, polyphenols, flavonoids, and things with similar mechanisms

    We mentioned that coffee contains antioxidants, but if you want to really bring out the heavy guns, taking more powerful antioxidants can help a lot. If you don’t have the luxury of enjoying berries and cacao nibs by the handful, supplements that have some similar benefits are a perfectly respectable choice.

    For example, you might want to consider green tea extract:

    L-theanine 200mg (available on Amazon)

    Specialist anti-alcohol drugs

    These are somewhat new and the research is still ongoing, but for example:

    Dihydromyricetin (DHM) as a novel anti-alcohol intoxication medication

    In short, DHM is a flavonoid (protects against the oxidative stress caused by alcohol, and has been found to reduce liver damage—see the above link) and also works on GABA-receptors (reduces alcohol withdrawal symptoms after cessation of drinking, and thus also reduces hangovers).

    Once again: the marketing claims of such drugs may be bold, but there’s a lot that’s not known and they’re not a magic pill. They do NOT mean you can take them alongside drinking and drink what you like with impunity. However, they may help mitigate some of the harmful effects of alcohol. If you wish to try them, these can be purchased at pharmacies or online, for example:

    Alcohol Defense Capsules (available on Amazon)

    Bottom line

    Alcohol is bad for your health and none of the above will eliminate the health risks. But, if you’re going to have alcohol, then having the above things as well may at least somewhat reduce the harm done.

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  • How To Stay Alive (When You Really Don’t Want To)

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    How To Stay Alive (When You Really Don’t Want To)

    A subscriber recently requested:

    ❝Request: more people need to be aware of suicidal tendencies and what they can do to ward them off❞

    …and we said we’d do that one of these Psychology Sundays, so here we are, doing it!

    First of all, we’ll mention that we did previously do a main feature on managing depression (in oneself or a loved one); here it is:

    The Mental Health First Aid That You’ll Hopefully Never Need

    Now, not all depression leads to suicidality, and not all suicide is pre-empted by depression, but there’s a large enough crossover that it seems sensible to put that article here, for anyone who might find it of use, or even just of interest.

    Now, onwards, to the specific, and very important, topic of suicide.

    This should go without saying, but some of today’s content may be a little heavy.

    We invite you to read it anyway if you’re able, because it’s important stuff that we all should know, and not talking about it is part of what allows it to kill people.

    So, let’s take a deep breath, and read on…

    The risk factors

    Top risk factors for suicide include:

    • Not talking about it
    • Having access to a firearm
    • Having a plan of specifically how to commit suicide
    • A lack of social support
    • Being male
    • Being over 40

    Now, some of these are interesting sociologically, but aren’t very useful practically; what a convenient world it’d be if we could all simply choose to be under 40, for instance.

    Some serve as alarm bells, such as “having a plan of specifically how to commit suicide”.

    If someone has a plan, that plan’s never going to disappear entirely, even if it’s set aside!

    (this writer is deeply aware of the specifics of how she has wanted to end things before, and has used the advice she gives in this article herself numerous times. So far so good, still alive to write about it!)

    Specific advices, therefore, include:

    Talk about it / Listen

    Depending on whether it’s you or someone else at risk:

    • Talk about it, if it’s you
    • Listen attentively, if it’s someone else

    There are two main objections that you might have at this point, so let’s look at those:

    “I have nobody to talk to”—it can certainly feel that way, sometimes, but you may be surprised who would listen if you gave them the chance. If you really can’t trust anyone around you, there are of course suicide hotlines (usually per area, so we’ll not try to list them here; a quick Internet search will get you what you need).

    If you’re worried it’ll result in bad legal/social consequences, check their confidentiality policy first:

    • Some hotlines can and will call the police, for instance.
    • Others deliberately have a set-up whereby they couldn’t even trace the call if they wanted to.
      • On the one hand, that means they can’t intervene
      • On the other hand, that means they’re a resource for anyone who will only trust a listener who can’t intervene.

    “But it is just a cry for help”—then that person deserves help. What some may call “attention-seeking” is, in effect, care-seeking. Listen, without judgement.

    Remove access to firearms, if applicable and possible

    Ideally, get rid of them (safely and responsibly, please).

    If you can’t bring yourself to do that, make them as inconvenient to get at as possible. Stored securely at your local gun club is better than at home, for example.

    If your/their plan isn’t firearm-related, but the thing in question can be similarly removed, remove it. You/they do not need that stockpile of pills, for instance.

    And of course you/they could get more, but the point is to make it less frictionless. The more necessary stopping points between thinking “I should just kill myself” and being able to actually do it, the better.

    Have/give social support

    What do the following people have in common?

    • A bullied teenager
    • A divorced 40-something who just lost a job
    • A lonely 70-something with no surviving family, and friends that are hard to visit

    Often, at least, the answer is: the absence of a good social support network

    So, it’s good to get one, and be part of some sort of community that’s meaningful to us. That could look different to a lot of people, for example:

    • A church, or other religious community, if we be religious
    • The LGBT+ community, or even just a part of it, if that fits for us
    • Any mutual-support oriented, we-have-this-shared-experience community, could be anything from AA to the VA.

    Some bonus ideas…

    If you can’t live for love, living for spite might suffice. Outlive your enemies; don’t give them the satisfaction.

    If you’re going to do it anyway, you might as well take the time to do some “bucket list” items first. After all, what do you have to lose? Feel free to add further bucket list items as they occur to you, of course. Because, why not? Before you know it, you’ve postponed your way into a rich and fulfilling life.

    Finally, some gems from Matt Haig’s “The Comfort Book”:
    • “The hardest question I have been asked is: “How do I stay alive for other people if I have no one?” The answer is that you stay alive for other versions of you. For the people you will meet, yes, but also the people you will be.”
    • “Stay for the person you will become”
    • “You are more than a bad day, or week, or month, or year, or even decade”
    • “It is better to let people down than to blow yourself up”
    • “Nothing is stronger than a small hope that doesn’t give up”
    • “You are here. And that is enough.”

    You can find Matt Haig’s excellent “The Comfort Book” on Amazon, as well as his more well-known book more specifically on the topic we’ve covered today, “Reasons To Stay Alive“.

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Related Posts

  • Fitness In Our Fifties
  • Margarine vs Butter – Which is Healthier

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing margarine to butter, we picked the butter.

    Why?

    Once upon a time, when margarines were filled with now-banned trans fats, this would have been an easy win for butter.

    Nowadays, the macronutrient/lipid profiles are generally more similar (although margarine often has a little less saturated fat), except one thing that butter has in its favor:

    More micronutrients. What exactly they are (and how much) depends on the diet and general health of the cows from whom the milk to make the butter came, but they’re not something found in plant-based butter alternatives at this time.

    Nevertheless, because of the saturated fat content, it’s not advisable to use more than a very small amount of either (two tablespoons of butter would put one at the daily limit already, without eating any other saturated fat that day).

    Read more: Butter vs Margarine

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • “Skinny Fat” Explained (& How To Fix It)

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    “Skinny fat” is a term you may have seen floating around social media. It describes people who have a low body weight but a high body fat percentage, often resulting in flabby appearance despite being within a weight range considered healthy. Many try dieting and exercising, only to find that neither work.

    This video explains what’s going wrong, and how to fix it:

    Diet & exercise won’t work if it’s not right

    This problem occurs because common weight-loss approaches, such as restrictive dieting and excessive cardio, fail to improve body composition:

    • Restrictive dieting reduces both fat and lean mass, keeping the body fat percentage unchanged
    • Cardio burns some calories but the underlying metabolic issue hasn’t meaningfully changed, so any loss will be temporary (and most of any immediate loss will be water weight, anyway)

    The key to overcoming skinny fat is resistance training. Lifting weights or doing bodyweight exercises helps build muscle, which not only lowers body fat percentage (by simple mathematics; add more muscle and the percentages of other things must go down even if the total amount is the same) and improves overall definition, which is something most people consider nice. However, the real value here is that it actually addresses the underlying metabolic issue—because muscle costs calories to maintain, one’s basal metabolic rate will now be faster, even when you’re sleeping.

    This then becomes… Not quite a self-sustaining system, because you do have to still eat well and continue to do resistance training, but your body will be doing most of the work for you, and you’ll find it’s a lot easier to maintain a healthy body composition than to get one in the first place, for exactly the metabolic reason we described.

    For more on all of this, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like:

    Visceral Belly Fat & How To Lose It ← this is a different, but adjacent issue (and very important for avoiding metabolic disease risks)

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

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  • On This Bright Day – by Dr. Susan Thompson

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    This book is principally aimed at those who have struggled with emotional/comfort eating, over-eating, and/or compulsive eating of some kind.

    However, its advices go for the “little compulsions” too, the many small unhealthy choices that add up. Thus, this book has value for most if not all of us.

    The format is: each day has a little quotation, followed by a short discussion of that, which is then underlined by an affirmation for the day.

    The main thrust of the book is to promote mindful eating, and it does this well with daily reminders that are helpful without being preachy.

    Bottom line: if you enjoy “daily reader” type books and would like a daily reminder to practice mindful eating, then this book is for you!

    Click here to check out On This Bright Day, and enjoy your food mindfully, every day!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

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