Undoing The Damage Of Life’s Hard Knocks

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Sometimes, What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Insecure

We’ve written before about Complex PTSD, which is much more common than the more popularly understood kind:

PTSD, But, Well…. Complex.

Given that C-PTSD affects so many people (around 1 in 5, but really, do read the article above! It explains it better than we have room to repeat today), it seems like a good idea to share tips for managing it.

(Last time, we took all the space for explaining it, so we just linked to some external resources at the end)

What happened to you?

PTSD has (as a necessity, as part of its diagnostic criteria) a clear event that caused it, which makes the above question easy to answer.

C-PTSD often takes more examination to figure out what tapestry of circumstances (and likely but not necessarily: treatment by other people) caused it.

Often it will feel like “but it can’t be that; that’s not that bad”, or “everyone has things like that” (in which case, you’re probably one of the one in five).

The deeper questions

Start by asking yourself: what are you most afraid of, and why? What are you most ashamed of? What do you fear that other people might say about you?

Often there is a core pattern of insecurity that can be summed up in a simple, harmful, I-message, e.g:

  • I am a bad person
  • I am unloveable
  • I am a fake
  • I am easy to hurt
  • I cannot keep my loved ones safe

…and so forth.

For a bigger list of common insecurities to see what resonates, check out:

Basic Fears/Insecurities, And Their Corresponding Needs/Desires

Find where they came from

You probably learned bad beliefs, and consequently bad coping strategies, because of bad circumstances, and/or bad advice.

  • When a parent exclaimed in anger about how stupid you are
  • When a partner exclaimed in frustration that always mess everything up
  • When an employer told you you weren’t good enough

…or maybe they told you one thing, and showed you the opposite. Or maybe it was entirely non-verbal circumstances:

  • When you gambled on a good idea and lost everything
  • When you tried so hard at some important endeavour and failed
  • When you thought someone could be trusted, and learned the hard way that you were wrong

These are “life’s difficult bits”, but when we’ve lived through a whole stack of them, it’s less like a single shattering hammer-blow of PTSD, and more like the consistent non-stop tap tap tap that ends up doing just as much damage in the long run.

Resolve them

That may sound a bit like a “and quickly create world peace” level of task, but we have tools:

Ask yourself: what if…

…it had been different? Take some time and indulge in a full-blown fantasy of a life that was better. Explore it. How would those different life lessons, different messages, have impacted who you are, your personality, your behaviour?

This is useful, because the brain is famously bad at telling real memories from false ones. Consciously, you’ll know that one was an exploratory fantasy, but to your brain, it’s still doing the appropriate rewiring. So, little by little, neuroplasticity will do its thing.

Tell yourself a better lie

We borrowed this one from the title of a very good book which we’ve reviewed previously.

This idea is not about self-delusion, but rather that we already express our own experiences as a sort of narrative, and that narrative tends to contain value judgements that are often not useful, e.g. “I am stupid”, “I am useless”, and all the other insecurities we mentioned earlier. Some simple examples might be:

  • “I had a terrible childhood” → “I have come so far”
  • “I should have known better” → “I am wiser now”
  • “I have lost so much” → “I have experienced so much”

So, replacing that self-talk can go a long way to re-writing how secure we feel, and therefore how much trauma-response (ideally: none!) we have to stimuli that are not really as threatening as we sometimes feel they are (a hallmark of PTSD in general).

Here’s a guide to more ways:

How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

Take care!

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  • Osteoporosis & Exercises: Which To Do (And Which To Avoid)

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝Any idea about the latest research on the most effective exercises for osteoporosis?❞

    While there isn’t much new of late in this regard, there is plenty of research!

    First, what you might want to avoid:

    • Sit-ups, and other exercises with a lot of repeated spinal flexion
    • Running, and other high-impact exercises
    • Skiing, horse-riding, and other activities with a high risk of falling
    • Golf and tennis (both disproportionately likely to result in injuries to wrists, elbows, and knees)

    Next, what you might want to bear in mind:

    While in principle resistance training is good for building strong bones, good form becomes all the more important if you have osteoporosis, so consider working with a trainer if you’re not 100% certain you know what you’re doing:

    Strong, steady and straight: UK consensus statement on physical activity and exercise for osteoporosis

    Some of the best exercises for osteoporosis are isometric exercises:

    5 Isometric Exercises for Osteoporosis (with textual explanations and illustrative GIFs)

    You might also like this bone-strengthening exercise routine from corrective exercise specialist Kendra Fitzgerald:

    Enjoy!

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  • This Is When Your Muscles Are Strongest

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Dr. Karyn Esser is a professor in the Department of Physiology and Aging at the University of Florida, where she’s also the co-director of the University of Florida Older Americans Independence Center, and she has insights to share on when it’s best to exercise:

    It’s 4–5pm

    Surprise, no clickbait or burying the lede!

    This goes regardless of age or sex, but as we get older, it’s common for our circadian rhythm to weaken, which may result in a tendency to fluctuate a bit more.

    However, since it’s healthy to keep one’s circadian rhythm as stable as reasonably possible, this is a good reason to try to keep our main exercise focused around that time of day, as it provides a sort of “anchor point” for the rest of our day to attach to, so that our body can know what time it is relative to that.

    It’s also the most useful time of day to exercise, because most exercises give benefits proportional to progressive overloading, so training at our peak efficiency time will give the most efficient results. So much for those 5am runs!

    On which note: while the title says “strongest” and the thumbnail has dumbbells, this does go for all different types of exercises that have been tested.

    For more details on all of the above, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    The Circadian Rhythm: Far More Than Most People Know

    Take care!

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  • Overcoming Gravity – by Steven Low

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    The author, a professional gymnast and coach with a background in the sciences, knows his stuff here. This is what it says on the tin: it’s rigorously systematic. It’s also the most science-based calisthenics book this reviewer has read to date.

    If you just wanted to know how to do some exercises, then this book would be very much overkill, but if you want to be able to go from no knowledge to expert knowledge, then the nearly 600 pages of this weighty tome will do that for you.

    This is a textbook, it’s a “the bible of…” style book, it’s the one that if you’re serious, will engage you thoroughly and enable you to craft the calisthenics-forged body you want, head to toe.

    As if it weren’t already overdelivering, it also has plenty of information on injury avoidance (or injury/condition management if you have some existing injury or chronic condition), and building routines in a dynamic fashion that avoids becoming a grind, because it’s going from strength to strength while cycling through different body parts.

    Bottom line: if you’d like to get serious about calisthenics, then this is the book for you.

    Click here to check out Overcoming Gravity, and do just that!

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  • How To Regrow Receding Gums

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    One of the problems with the human form is that our teeth evolved to last us for the whole of our life, with plenty of room to spare before our eventual death at the ripe old age of about 35 on average. Dr. Ellie Phillips advises those of us who might be a bit older than that, on how we can avoid becoming “too long in the tooth”—in other words, how to keep our gums, and thus our teeth, in place and healthy.

    Getting to the root of the problem

    The single biggest cause of gum recession is an acidic environment in the mouth, which harms teeth and gums alike. This acidic environment is produced not merely by consuming acid foods or drinks, but also (and much more often, and more problematically) by sugary foods and drinks, which are not necessarily themselves acidic, but they feed bacteria that release acids as a by-product of their metabolism. If we consume an acidic food or drink, it’s there for a moment, but if we then salivate and/or take a drink of water, it’s pretty much gone in a few seconds. But those bacteria when we feed them sugar? They are there to stay unless we do something more about them than just drink some water.

    Other contributing factors to gum recession include teeth grinding, and (ironically) certain oral care products, especially many artificial teeth whiteners.

    In case you were wondering: no, brushing will not* generally cause or even worsen gum recession, but flossing can exacerbate it if it’s already underway.

    *unless, of course, you are using one of the whiteners we mentioned above

    What to do about it: Dr. Phillips recommends:

    • use a moderately firm toothbrush to massage gums and promote blood flow
    • avoid acidic oral products and homemade remedies even if they’re not acidic but can be caustic, such as baking soda
    • rebuild your gums’ and teeth’s protective biofilm (yes, there are “good bacteria” that are supposed to be there) with proper brushing
    • avoid cleanings that are more intensive than brushing—skip flossing until your gums have recovered, too
    • adjust your diet to avoid acids and (especially) sugars

    10almonds note: she also recommends the use of xylitol to promote a healthy oral environment; we don’t recommend that, as while it may be great for the teeth, studies have found it to be bad for the heart.

    For more on all of her advices and a bit more of the science of it, enjoy:

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    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Take care!

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  • We looked at over 166,000 psychiatric records. Over half showed people were admitted against their will

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    Picture two people, both suffering from a serious mental illness requiring hospital admission. One was born in Australia, the other in Asia.

    Hopefully, both could be treated on a voluntary basis, taking into account their individual needs, preferences and capacity to consent. If not, you might imagine they should be equally likely to receive treatment against their will (known colloquially as being “sectioned” or “scheduled”).

    However, our research published in British Journal of Psychiatry Open suggests this is not the case.

    In the largest study globally of its kind, we found Australians are more likely to be treated in hospital for their acute mental illness against their will if they are born overseas, speak a language other than English or are unemployed.

    What we did and what we found

    We examined more than 166,000 episodes of voluntary and involuntary psychiatric care in New South Wales public hospitals between 2016 and 2021. Most admissions (54%) included at least one day of involuntary care.

    Being brought to hospital via legal means, such as by police or via a court order, was strongly linked to involuntary treatment.

    While our study does not show why this is the case, it may be due to mental health laws. In NSW, which has similar laws to most jurisdictions in Australia, doctors may treat a person on an involuntary basis if they present with certain symptoms indicating serious mental illness (such as hallucinations and delusions) which cause them to require protection from serious harm, and there is no other less-restrictive care available. Someone who has been brought to hospital by police or the courts may be more likely to meet the legal requirement of requiring protection from serious harm.

    The likelihood of involuntary care was also linked to someone’s diagnosis. A person with psychosis or organic brain diseases, such as dementia and delirium, were about four times as likely to be admitted involuntarily compared to someone with anxiety or adjustment disorders (conditions involving a severe reaction to stressors).

    However, our data suggest non-clinical factors contribute to the decision to impose involuntary care.

    Compared with people born in Australia, we found people born in Asia were 42% more likely to be treated involuntarily.

    People born in Africa or the Middle East were 32% more likely to be treated this way.

    Overall, people who spoke a language other than English were 11% more likely to receive involuntary treatment compared to those who spoke English as their first language.

    Some international researchers have suggested higher rates of involuntary treatment seen in people born overseas might be due to higher rates of psychotic illness. But our research found a link between higher rates of involuntary care in people born overseas or who don’t speak English regardless of their diagnosis.

    We don’t know why this is happening. It is likely to reflect a complex interplay of factors about both the people receiving treatment and the way services are provided to them.

    People less likely to be treated involuntarily included those who hold private health insurance, and those referred through a community health centre or outpatients unit.

    Our findings are in line with international studies. These show higher rates of involuntary treatment among people from Black and ethnic minority groups, and people living in areas of higher socioeconomic disadvantage.

    A last resort? Or should we ban it?

    Both the NSW and Australian mental health commissions have called involuntary psychiatric care an avoidable harm that should only be used as a last resort.

    Despite this, one study found Australia’s rate of involuntary admissions has increased by 3.4% per year and it has one of the highest rates of involuntary admissions in the world.

    Involuntary psychiatric treatment is also under increasing scrutiny globally.

    When Australia signed up to the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities, it added a declaration noting it would allow for involuntary treatment of people with mental illness where such treatments are “necessary, as a last resort and subject to safeguards”.

    However, the UN has rejected this, saying it is a fundamental human right “to be free from involuntary detention in a mental health facility and not to be forced to undergo mental health treatment”.

    Others question if involuntary treatment could ever be removed entirely.

    Where to from here?

    Our research not only highlights concerns regarding how involuntary psychiatric treatment is implemented, it’s a first step towards decreasing its use. Without understanding how and when it is used it will be difficult to create effective interventions to reduce it.

    But Australia is still a long way from significantly reducing involuntary treatment.

    We need to provide more care options outside hospital, ones accessible to all Australians, including those born overseas, who don’t speak English, or who come from disadvantaged communities. This includes intervening early enough that people are supported to not become so unwell they end up being referred for treatment via police or the criminal justice system.

    More broadly, we need to do more to reduce stigma surrounding mental illness and to ensure poverty and discrimination are tackled to help prevent more people becoming unwell in the first place.

    Our study also shows we need to do more to respect the autonomy of someone with serious mental illness to choose if they are treated. That’s whether they are in NSW or other jurisdictions.

    And legal reform is required to ensure more states and territories more fully reflect the principal that people who have the capacity to make such decisions should have the right to decline mental health treatment in the same way they would any other health care.

    If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

    Amy Corderoy, Medical doctor and PhD candidate studying involuntary psychiatric treatment, School of Psychiatry, UNSW Sydney

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • How to Fall Asleep Faster: CBT-Insomnia Treatment

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Insomnia affects a lot of people, and is even more common as we get older. Happily, therapist Emma McAdam is here with a drug-free solution that will work for most people most of the time.

    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI)

    While people think of causes of insomnia as being things such as stress, anxiety, overthinking, disturbances, and so forth, these things affect sleep in the short term, but don’t directly cause chronic insomnia.

    We say “directly”, because chronic insomnia is usually the result of the brain becoming accustomed to the above, and thus accidentally training itself to not sleep.

    The remedy: cut the bad habit of staying in bed while awake. Lying in bed awake trains the brain to associate lying in bed with wakefulness (and any associated worrying, etc). In essence, we lie down, and the brain thinks “Aha, we know this one; this is the time and place for worrying, ok, let’s get to work”.

    So instead: if you’re in bed and not asleep within 15 minutes, get up and do something non-stimulating until you feel sleepy, then return to bed. This may cause some short term tiredness, but it will usually correct the chronic insomnia within a week.

    For more details, tips, and troubleshooting with regard to the above, enjoy:

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    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

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    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

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