Better Sex = Longer Life (Here’s How)
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This is Dr. Candice Hargons. She’s a professor of psychology, and has served on the Kentucky Psychological Association Board, the Society of Counseling Psychology Executive Board, and the American Psychological Association (APA)’s Council of Representatives. She also served on the APA Board of Directors, after receiving the APA’s Presidential Citation award for her research and leadership.
She leads the Study of Mental And Sexual Health Equity in Relationships (SMASHER Lab), with a predominant focus on promoting good sex, sexual wellness, and liberation among couples and communities.
In her own words:
❝Sex is one of the most common and normal human behaviors, and yet it remains relatively taboo as a topic. Many people worry about being judged, either for being perceived as too sexual or not sexual enough, and a major focus of my work is to normalize talking and learning about sex to improve sexual functioning across the adult lifespan.❞
~ Dr. Candice Hargons
So, let’s do that!
What does good sex do for health?
We’ve written previously about the health aspects of orgasms specifically:
“Early To Bed…” (Mythbusting Orgasms) ← including resources pertaining to anorgasmia, the inability to orgasm
…but orgasms are not the be-all-and-end-all of sex; see for example:
A Urologist Explains Edging: What, Why, & Is It Safe? ← when the journey is genuinely more of a focus than the destination
And certainly, good sex is simply a very good way to relax and de-stress, which is important, given how important stress management is to general health in very many ways (affecting things ranging from inflammation to heart health and more).
Plus, while the level of athleticism deployed may vary, sex is a physical activity, and physical activity is, as a rule, good.
There’s more to it than that though! It also can help us bind closely to our loved ones, in a positive way, which—critically—has a very positive impact on healthy longevity:
Only One Kind Of Relationship Promotes Longevity This Much! ← this is about the seriousness of the relationship, not the sex, but for most people, a strong and fulfilling relationship will include having good sex.
The scientific relationship between sex and longevity also got a whole chapter in this excellent book that we reviewed all so recently:
Age Proof: The New Science of Living a Longer and Healthier Life – by Dr. Rose Anne Kenny
What makes it “good”?
Dr. Hargons considers (and her opinion is backed by extensive research in the SMASHER Lab, if you’ll pardon the mental image that that might conjure) that first and foremost… It has to feel good to all parties involved.
In contrast, oftentimes, one partner’s pleasure is prioritized over another’s, and that becomes a problem.*
*assuming that’s not part of an established kink dynamic with enthusiastic affirmative consent, such as if the partner whose pleasure is being deprioritized is enthusiastically requesting to be denied orgasms, for example. Yes, that’s a real kink and even a popular one, but it’s not what’s happening in most sexually uneven relationships.
This kind of unplanned disparity often goes undiscussed by the couple in question—especially in heterosexual couples if the man is getting what he wants/needs and the woman isn’t, because there’s a rather lop-sided societal expectation in that regard. And even a loving, well-intentioned man can simply not know how to do better and be afraid to ask. And for that matter, it’s also entirely possible for his partner to not know either.
Dr. Hargons lists the four main keys as:
- Communication
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Pleasure
And communication indeed comes first, so to speak. For example, she advises:
❝Begin by identifying what you like and don’t like sexually. An easy way to do this is to create a “Yes, No, Maybe So” list. You can use paper or a Notes app on your phone.
Create three columns: one for Yes, No, and Maybe So sections. In the Yes section, write all the things you enjoy and want to keep doing sexually, as well as things you have not tried yet that you want to try. In the No section, write all the things you don’t enjoy and do not want to do anymore. It can also include things you haven’t tried that you’re uninterested in trying. Finally, in your Maybe So list, write all the things you’re curious about and/or are only willing to try in specific settings or circumstances.
You can share this list with your partner, but even if you are not ready to do that, you will already have enhanced your sexual self-awareness and be better positioned to talk with your sexual partner about what you want.❞
This represents an important shift from “whatever” to taking an active role in your sex life at your own pace.
And from there, it’s just a matter of exploring, together, and learning as you go. Could anything be more exciting than that?
“What if I’m single?”
We talked about this a little previously, more relationally than sexually specifically, though:
Now, a single person can of course still have an active sex life if you so choose, in which case, the above advice still applies, just, it’ll be conversations with your partner-of-the-moment rather than with a life partner. And that’s important too! Just because something is casual, doesn’t mean it need not be entered into mindfully and with a sense of what you want out of it, and communicating that effectively (while encouraging the same from others, and of course actually listening to, and caring about, what they say too).
And if you are, perchance, single and decided on a life of celibacy now, you can and (if you are sexual at all) should still figure out what you like and don’t like sexually, because even if it’s going to be you-on-you action, it will be good for you to love yourself enough to do it right.
Seriously, treat yourself at least as well as you would any other lover.
On which note, corded wand-style vibrators like the famous “Magic Wand” kind are much more powerful than the battery kind, and you will feel the difference, in a good way.
And if you really want to invest in your sexual wellness and you like the idea, saddle-style vibrators like this one will rock your socks off in ways handheld vibrators couldn’t dream of.
Want to know more?
You might want to check out Dr. Hargons’ book:
Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation – by Dr. Candice Hargons ← this covers so many important areas, more than we have room to here. Just check out the table of contents, and you’ll see what we mean.
…which we haven’t reviewed yet, but here are some excellent related books that we have:
- Come Together: The Science (and Art) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections – by Dr. Emily Nagoski
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire – by Dr. Lori Brotto
Enjoy!
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Beyond Burger vs Beef Burger – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing the Beyond Burger to a grass-fed beef burger, we picked the Beyond Burger—but it was very close.
Why?
The macronutrient profiles of the two are almost identical, including the amount of protein, the amount of fat, and the amount of that fat that’s saturated.
Where they stand apart is in two ways:
1) Red meat is classed as a group 2A carcinogen
2) The Beyond Burger contains more sodium (about 1/5 of the daily allowance according to the AHA, or 1/4 of the daily allowance according to the WHO)Neither of those things are great, so how to decide which is worse?
• Cancer and heart disease are both killers, with heart disease claiming more victims.
• However, we do need some sodium to live, whereas we don’t need carcinogens to live.Tie-breaker: the sodium content in the Beyond Burger is likely to be offset by the fact that it’s a fully seasoned burger and will be eaten as-is, whereas the beef burger will doubtlessly have seasonings added before it’s eaten—which may cause it to equal or even exceed the salt content of the Beyond Burger.
The cancer risk for the beef burger, meanwhile, stays one-sided.
One thing’s for sure though: neither of them are exactly a cornerstone of a healthy diet, and either are best enjoyed as an occasional indulgence.
Some further reading:
• Lesser-Known Salt Risks
• Food Choices And Cancer Risk
• Hypertension: Factors Far More Relevant Than SaltShare This Post
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Better Sex Through Mindfulness – by Dr. Lori Brotto
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Female sexuality is such a taboo topic that, if one searches for (ob/gyn professor, women’s health research director, and psychologist) Dr. Brotto’s book on Google or Amazon, it suggests only “lori brotto mindfulness book”. So, for those brave enough to read a book that would have shocked Victorians, what does this one contain?
The focus is on, as the title suggests, better sex, by and for women. That said, it’s mostly because typically women are more likely to experience the problems described in the book; it’s nothing actually intrinsic to womanhood. A man with the same problems could read this book and benefit just the same.
While the book covers many possible problems between the sheets, the overarching theme is problems of the mind, such as:
- Not getting into the mood in the first place
- Losing the mood quickly and easily, such as by becoming distracted
- Difficulty achieving orgasm even when mechanically everything’s delightful
- Physical discomfort creating a barrier to enjoyment
…and yes, that last one is in part mind-stuff too! Though Dr. Brotto isn’t arguing that mindfulness is a panacea, just an incredibly useful tool. And, it’s one she not only explains very well, but also explains from the position of a wealth of scientific evidence… Enough so, that we see a one-star Amazon reviewer from Canada complained that it was too well-referenced! For us, though, it’s what we like to see.
Good science, presented clearly and usefully, giving practical tips that improve people’s lives.
Bottom line: if you’ve ever lost the mood because you got distracted into thinking about taxes or that meeting on Tuesday, this is the book for you.
Click here to check out Better Sex Through Mindfulness—you can thank us later!
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The Hormone Therapy That Reduces Breast Cancer Risk & More
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The Hormone Balancing Act
We’ve written before about menopausal HRT:
What You Should Have Been Told About Menopause Beforehand
…and even specifically about the considerations when it comes to breast cancer risk:
Menopausal Hormone Replacement Therapy
this really does bear reading, by the way—scroll down to the bit about breast cancer risk, because it’s not a simple increased/decreased risk; it can go either way, and which way it goes will depend on various factors including your medical history and what HRT, if any, you are taking.
Hormone Modulating Therapy
Hormone modulating therapy, henceforth HMT, is something a little different.
Instead of replacing hormones, as hormone replacement therapy does, guess what hormone modulating therapy does instead? That’s right…
MHT can modulate hormones by various means, but the one we’re going to talk about today does it by blocking estrogen receptors,
Isn’t that the opposite of what we want?
You would think so, but since for many people with an increased breast cancer risk, the presence of estrogen increases that risk, which leaves menopausal (peri- or post) people in an unfortunate situation, having to choose between increased breast cancer risk (with estrogen), or osteoporosis and increased dementia risk, amongst other problems (without).
However, the key here (in fact, that’s a very good analogy) is in how the blocker works. Hormones and their receptors are like keys and locks, meaning that the wrong-shaped hormone won’t accidentally trigger it. And when the right-shaped hormone comes along, it gets activated and the message (in this case, “do estrogenic stuff here!” gets conveyed). A blocker is sufficiently similar to fit into the receptor, without being so similar as to otherwise act as the hormone.
In this case, it has been found that HMT blocking estrogen receptors was sufficient to alleviate the breast cancer risk, while also being associated with a 7% lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias, with that risk reduction being even greater for some demographics depending on race and age. Black women in the 65–74 age bracket enjoyed a 24% relative risk reduction, with white women of the same age getting an 11% relative risk reduction. Black women enjoyed the same benefits after that age, whereas white women starting it at that age did not get the same benefits. The conclusion drawn from this is that it’s good to start this at 65 if relevant and practicable, especially if white, because the protective effect is strongest when gained aged 65–69.
Here’s a pop-science article that goes into the details more deeply than we have room for here:
Hormone therapy for breast cancer linked with lower dementia risk
And here’s the paper itself; we highly recommend reading at least the abstract, because it goes into the numbers in much more detail than we reasonably can here. It’s a huge cohort study of 18,808 women aged 65 years or older, so this is highly relevant data:
Want to learn more?
If you’d like a much deeper understanding of breast cancer risk management, including in the context of hormone therapy, you might like this excellent book that we reviewed recently:
The Smart Woman’s Guide to Breast Cancer – by Dr. Jenn Simmons
Take care!
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What’s the difference between ‘strep throat’ and a sore throat? We’re developing a vaccine for one of them
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What’s the difference? is a new editorial product that explains the similarities and differences between commonly confused health and medical terms, and why they matter.
It’s the time of the year for coughs, colds and sore throats. So you might have heard people talk about having a “strep throat”.
But what is that? Is it just a bad sore throat that goes away by itself in a day or two? Should you be worried?
Here’s what we know about the similarities and differences between strep throat and a sore throat, and why they matter.
Prostock-studio/Shutterstock How are they similar?
It’s difficult to tell the difference between a sore throat and strep throat as they look and feel similar.
People usually have a fever, a bright red throat and sometimes painful lumps in the neck (swollen lymph nodes). A throat swab can help diagnose strep throat, but the results can take a few days.
Thankfully, both types of sore throat usually get better by themselves.
How are they different?
Most sore throats are caused by viruses such as common cold viruses, the flu (influenza virus), or the virus that causes glandular fever (Epstein-Barr virus).
These viral sore throats can occur at any age. Antibiotics don’t work against viruses so if you have a viral sore throat, you won’t get better faster if you take antibiotics. You might even have some unwanted antibiotic side-effects.
But strep throat is caused by Streptococcus pyogenes bacteria, also known as strep A. Strep throat is most common in school-aged children, but can affect other age groups. In some cases, you may need antibiotics to avoid some rare but serious complications.
In fact, the potential for complications is one key difference between a viral sore throat and strep throat.
Generally, a viral sore throat is very unlikely to cause complications (one exception is those caused by Epstein-Barr virus which has been associated with illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome, multiple sclerosis and certain cancers).
But strep A can cause invasive disease, a rare but serious complication. This is when bacteria living somewhere on the body (usually the skin or throat) get into another part of the body where there shouldn’t be bacteria, such as the bloodstream. This can make people extremely sick.
Invasive strep A infections and deaths have been rising in recent years around the world, especially in young children and older adults. This may be due to a number of factors such as increased social mixing at this stage of the COVID pandemic and an increase in circulating common cold viruses. But overall the reasons behind the increase in invasive strep A infections are not clear.
Another rare but serious side effect of strep A is autoimmune disease. This is when the body’s immune system makes antibodies that react against its own cells.
The most common example is rheumatic heart disease. This is when the body’s immune system damages the heart valves a few weeks or months after a strep throat or skin infection.
Around the world more than 40 million people live with rheumatic heart disease and more than 300,000 die from its complications every year, mostly in developing countries.
However, parts of Australia have some of the highest rates of rheumatic heart disease in the world. More than 5,300 Indigenous Australians live with it.
Strep throat is caused by Streptococcus bacteria and can be treated with antibiotics if needed. Kateryna Kon/Shutterstock Why do some people get sicker than others?
We know strep A infections and rheumatic heart disease are more common in low socioeconomic communities where poverty and overcrowding lead to increased strep A transmission and disease.
However, we don’t fully understand why some people only get a mild infection with strep throat while others get very sick with invasive disease.
We also don’t understand why some people get rheumatic heart disease after strep A infections when most others don’t. Our research team is trying to find out.
How about a vaccine for strep A?
There is no strep A vaccine but many groups in Australia, New Zealand and worldwide are working towards one.
For instance, Murdoch Children’s Research Institute and Telethon Kids Institute have formed the Australian Strep A Vaccine Initiative to develop strep A vaccines. There’s also a global consortium working towards the same goal.
Companies such as Vaxcyte and GlaxoSmithKline have also been developing strep A vaccines.
What if I have a sore throat?
Most sore throats will get better by themselves. But if yours doesn’t get better in a few days or you have ongoing fever, see your GP.
Your GP can examine you, consider running some tests and help you decide if you need antibiotics.
Kim Davis, General paediatrician and paediatric infectious diseases specialist, Murdoch Children’s Research Institute; Alma Fulurija, Immunologist and the Australian Strep A Vaccine Initiative project lead, Telethon Kids Institute, and Myra Hardy, Postdoctoral Researcher, Infection, Immunity and Global Health, Murdoch Children’s Research Institute
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – by Mark Manson
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You may wonder from the title: is this book arguing that we should all be callous heartless monsters? And no, it is not.
Instead, author Mark Manson advocates for cynicism, but less in the manner of Scrooge, and more in the manner of Diogenes:
- That life will involve struggle, so we might as well at least choose our struggles.
- That we will make mistakes, so we might as well accept them as learning experiences.
- That we will love and we will lose, so we might as well do it right while we can.
In short, the book is less about not caring… And more about caring about the right things only.
So, what are “the right things”? Manson bids us decide for ourselves, but certainly has ideas and pointers, with regard to what may or may not be healthy values to pursue.
The style throughout is casual and almost conversational, without being overly padded. It makes for very easy reading.
If the book has a weak point, it’s that when it briefly makes a suprisingly prescriptive turn into recommending we take up Buddhism, it may feel a bit like our friend who wants us to join in the latest MLM scheme. But, he’s soon back on track.
Bottom line: if you ever find yourself stressed with living up to unwanted expectations—your own, other people’s, and society’s—this book can really help streamline things.
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Forever Strong – by Dr. Gabrielle Lyon
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Obesity kills a lot of people (as does medical neglect and malpractice when it comes to obese patients, but that is another matter), but often the biggest problem is not “too much fat” but rather “too little muscle”. This gets disguised a bit, because these factors often appear in the same people, but it’s a distinction that’s worthy of note.
Dr. Lyon lays out a lot of good hard science in this work, generally in the field of protein metabolism, but also with a keen eye on all manner of blood metrics (triglycerides, LDL/HDL, fasting blood sugars, assorted other biomarkers of metabolic health).
The style of this book is two books in one. It’s a very accessible pop-science book in its primary tone, with an extra layer of precise science and lots of references, for those who wish to dive into that.
In the category of criticism, the diet plan section of the book is rather meat-centric, but the goal of this is protein content, not meat per se, so substitutions can easily be made. That’s just one small section of the book, though, and it’s little enough a downside that even Dr. Mark Hyman (a popular proponent of plant-based nutrition) highly recommends the book.
Bottom line: if you’d like to be less merely fighting decline and more actually becoming healthier as you age, then this book will help you do just that.
Click here to check out Forever Strong, and level up your wellness as you age!
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