Hold Me Tight – by Dr. Sue Johnson

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A lot of relationship books are quite wishy-washy. This one isn’t.

This one is evidenced-based (and heavily referenced!), and yet at the same time as being deeply rooted in science, it doesn’t lose the human touch.

Dr. Johnson has spent her career as a clinical psychologist and researcher; she’s the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 35 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. In other words, it works.

EFT—and thus also this book—finds roots in Attachment Theory. As such, topics this book covers include:

  • Recognizing and recovering from attachment injury
  • How fights in a relationship come up, and how they can be avoided
  • How lot of times relationships end, it’s not because of fights, but a loss of emotional connection
  • Building a lifetime of love instead, falling in love again each day

This book lays the groundwork for ensuring a strong, secure, ongoing emotional bond, of the kind that makes/keeps a relationship joyful and fulfilling.

Dr. Johnson has been recognized in her field with a Lifetime Achievement Award, and the Order of Canada.

Get your copy of Hold Me Tight from Amazon today!

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Recommended

  • Purpose – by Gina Bianchini
  • Boundary-Setting Beyond “No”
    Redefining Boundaries: More than Demands, It’s Informational Clarity and Enforceable Consequences.

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  • How To Survive A Heart Attack When You’re Alone

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    Dr. Alan Mandel emphasizes the importance of staying calm and following these steps to improve survival chances:

    Simple is best

    Here’s how you will survive a heart attack alone: briefly.

    So, you will need to get help as quickly as possible. 90% of people who make it to a hospital alive, go on to survive their heart attack, so that’s your top priority.

    Call emergency services as soon as you suspect you are having a heart attack. Stay on the line, and stay calm.

    While having a heart attack is not an experience that’s very conducive to relaxation, heightened emotions will exacerbate things, so focus on breathing calmly. One of the commonly reported symptoms of heart attack that doesn’t often make it to official lists is “a strong sense of impending doom”, and that is actually helpful as it helps separate it from “is this indigestion?” or such, but once you have acknowledged “yes, this is probably a heart attack”, you need to put those feelings aside for later.

    If you have aspirin available, Dr. Mandel says that the time to take it is once you have called an ambulance. However, if aspirin is not readily available, do not exert yourself trying to find some; indeed, don’t move more than necessary.

    Do not drive yourself to hospital; it will increase the risk of fainting, and you may crash.

    While you are waiting, your main job is to remain calm; he recommends deep breathing, and lying with knees elevated or feet on a chair; this latter is to minimize the strain on your heart.

    For more on all this, plus the key symptoms and risk factors, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Heart Attack: His & Hers (Be Prepared!)

    Take care!

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  • Ozempic vs Five Natural Supplements

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Semaglutide (GLP-1 agonist) drugs Ozempic and Wegovy really do work for losing weight, provided one then remains on these expensive drugs for life. Dr. Jin Sung recommends a supplements-based approach, instead.

    Natural Alternatives

    Dr. Sung recommends:

    • Berberine, which increases production and secretion of GLP-1.
    • Probiotics, which increase GLP-1 secretion. In particular he recommends Akkermansia municiphila which secretes P9, and this protein stimulates GLP-1 production and secretion.
    • Psyllium, a soluble dietary fiber which will increase short-chain fatty acids which then help with increasing GLP-1.
    • Curcumin, which enhances L-cell numbers, in turn promoting and increasing GLP-1 secretion. Also, curcumin may prolong gastric emptying, and increase insulin sensitivity.
    • Ginseng, of which the bioactive compound stimulates secretion of GLP-1, and also has anti-diabetic effects.

    Dr. Sung explains more about each of these in his video:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to know more?

    You might enjoy our previous main feature looking at some of the pros and cons:

    Semaglutide For Weight Loss?

    Take care!

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  • Antihistamines’ Generation Gap

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    Are You Ready For Allergy Season?

    For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, fall will be upon us soon, and we have a few weeks to be ready for it. A common seasonal ailment is of course seasonal allergies—it’s not serious for most of us, but it can be very annoying, and can disrupt a lot of our normal activities.

    Suddenly, a thing that notionally does us no real harm, is making driving dangerous, cooking take three times as long, sex laughable if not off-the-table (so to speak), and the lightest tasks exhausting.

    So, what to do about it?

    Antihistamines: first generation

    Ye olde antihistamines such as diphenhydramine and chlorpheniramine are probably not what to do about it.

    They are small molecules that cross the blood-brain barrier and affect histamine receptors in the central nervous system. This will generally get the job done, but there’s a fair bit of neurological friendly-fire going on, and while they will produce drowsiness, the sleep will usually be of poor quality. They also tax the liver rather.

    If you are using them and not experiencing unwanted side effects, then don’t let us stop you, but do be aware of the risks.

    See also: Long-term use of diphenhydramine ← this is the active ingredient in Benadryl in the US and Canada, but safety regulations in many other countries mean that Benadryl has different, safer active ingredients elsewhere.

    Antihistamines: later generations

    We’re going to aggregate 2nd gen, 3rd gen, and 4th gen antihistamines here, because otherwise we’ll be writing a history article and we don’t have room for that. But suffice it to say, later generations of antihistamines do not come with the same problems.

    Instead of going in all-guns-blazing to the CNS like first-gens, they are more specific in their receptor-targetting, resulting in negligible collateral damage:

    CSACI position statement: Newer generation H1-antihistamines are safer than first-generation H1-antihistamines and should be the first-line antihistamines for the treatment of allergic rhinitis and urticaria

    Special shout-out to cetirizine and loratadine, which are the drugs behind half the brand names you’ll see on pharmacy shelves around most of the world these days (including many in the US and Canada).

    Note that these two are very often discussed in the same sentence, sit next to each other on the shelf, and often have identical price and near-identical packaging. Their effectiveness (usually: moderate) and side effects (usually: low) are similar and comparable, but they are genuinely different drugs that just happen to do more or less the same thing.

    This is relevant because if one of them isn’t working for you (and/or is creating an unwanted side effect), you might want to try the other one.

    Another honorable mention goes to fexofenadine, for which pretty much all the same as the above goes, though it gets talked about less (and when it does get mentioned, it’s usually by its most popular brand name, Allegra).

    Finally, one that’s a little different and also deserving of a special mention is azelastine. It was recently (ish, 2021) moved from being prescription-only to being non-prescription (OTC), and it’s a nasal spray.

    It can cause drowsiness, but it’s considered safe and effective for most people. Its main benefit is not really the difference in drug, so much as the difference in the route of administration (nasal rather than oral). Because the drug is in liquid spray form, it can be absorbed through the mucus lining of the nose and get straight to work on blocking the symptoms—in contrast, oral antihistamines usually have to go into your stomach and take their chances there (we say “usually”, because there are some sublingual antihistamines that dissolve under the tongue, but they are less common.)

    Better than antihistamines?

    Writer’s note: at this point, I was given to wonder: “wait, what was I squirting up my nose last time anyway?”—because, dear readers, at the time I got it I just bought one of every different drug on the shelf, desperate to find something that worked. What worked for me, like magic, when nothing else had, was beclometasone dipropionate, which a) smelled delightfully of flowers, which might just be the brand I got, b) needs replacing now because I got it in March 2023 and it expired July 2024, and c) is not an antihistamine at all.

    But, that brings us to the final chapter for today: systemic corticosteroids

    They’re not ok for everyone (check with your doctor if unsure), and definitely should not be taken if immunocompromised and/or currently suffering from an infection (including colds, flu, COVID, etc) unless your doctor tells you otherwise (and even then, honestly, double-check).

    But! They can work like magic when other things don’t. Unlike antihistamines, which only block the symptoms, systemic corticosteroids tackle the underlying inflammation, which can stop the whole thing in its tracks.

    Here’s how they measure up against antihistamines:

    ❝The results of this systematic review, together with data on safety and cost effectiveness, support the use of intranasal corticosteroids over oral antihistamines as first line treatment for allergic rhinitis.❞

    ~ Dr. Robert Puy et al.

    Read in full: Intranasal corticosteroids versus oral H1 receptor antagonists in allergic rhinitis: systematic review of randomised controlled trials

    Take care!

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Related Posts

  • Purpose – by Gina Bianchini
  • How To Do HIIT (Without Wrecking Your Body)

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    How To Do HIIT (Without Wrecking Your Body)

    High-Intensity Interval Training, henceforth “HIIT”, is a well-researched and well-evidenced approach to exercise that gives powerful health benefits.

    Specifically, health benefits that we don’t get from moderate exercise (as important as that is too) or endurance training.

    Super-quick overview of the benefits first:

    *remember that most forms of exercise aren’t very good for fat loss, because our metabolism will slow afterwards to compensate. So HIIT flipping this one is quite a big deal.

    What actually is it?

    HIIT means exercise sessions in which one alternates between high intensity “maximum effort” bursts, and short recovery periods during which more moderate exercise is performed.

    An example for runners could be switching between sprinting or jogging, changing mode each time one passes a street light.

    ❝A total of only two minutes of sprint interval exercise was sufficient to elicit similar responses as 30 minutes of continuous moderate intensity aerobic exercise❞

    ~ Trewin et al. (2018)

    Read more: Acute HIIT elicits similar changes in human skeletal muscle mitochondrial H₂O₂ release, respiration, and cell signaling as endurance exercise even with less work

    What did you mean about not wrecking your body? Is that… Likely?

    Hopefully not, but it’s a barrier to some! We are not all twenty-something college athletes, after all, and our bodies aren’t always as durable as they used to be.

    HIIT relies on intense exercise and short recovery periods, but what if our bodies are not accustomed to intense exercise, and need longer recovery periods? Can we still get the same benefits?

    The trick is not to change the intensity or the recovery periods, but the exercise itself.

    For HIIT to work the “intense” part has to be best-effort or approaching such. That part’s not negotiable. The recovery periods can be stretched a bit if you need to, but with the right tweaks, you ideally won’t have to do that.

    Great! How?

    First, note that you can do resistance interval training without impact. For example, if you crank up the resistance on an exercise bike or similar machine, you will be doing resistance training along with your cardio, and you’ll be doing it without the impact on your joints that you would if out pounding the pavement on foot.

    (Running is fine if your body is used to it, but please don’t make HIIT your first running exercise in a decade)

    Second, consider your environment. That exercise bike? You can get off it any time and you’re already at home (or perhaps your gym, with your car outside). Not so if you took up mountain biking or road racing.

    Third, go for what is gentle in motion, even if it’s not resistance work per se. Swimming is a fabulous option for most people, and can absolutely be done with HIIT principles. Since vision is often obscured while swimming, counting strokes can be a good way to do HIIT. For example, ten strokes max effort, ten strokes normal, repeat. Do make sure you are aware of where the end of the pool is, though!

    Fourth, make it fun! Ok, this one’s not about the safety quite so much, but it is about sustainability, and that’s critical for practical purposes too. You will only continue an exercise routine that you enjoy, after all.

    • Could you curate a musical playlist that shifts tempo to cue your exercise mode intervals?
    • Could you train with an exercise partner? Extra fun if this has a “relay race” feel to it, i.e. when one person completes a high intensity interval, the other person must now begin theirs.

    Need some pointers getting started?

    There are a lot of HIIT apps out there, so you can just search for that on your device of choice.

    But!

    We at 10almonds have recommended 7-Minute Workout before, which is available for iOS and for Android, and we stand by that as a great starting choice.

    Enjoy!

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  • Coach’s Plan – by Mike Kavanagh

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    A sports coach’s job is to prepare a plan, give it to the player(s), and hold them accountable to it. Change the strategy if needs be, call the shots. The job of the player(s) is then to follow those instructions.

    If you have trouble keeping yourself accountable, Kavanagh argues that it can be good to separate how you approach things.

    Not just “coach yourself”, but put yourself entirely in the coach’s shoes, as though you were a separate person, then switch back, and follow those instructions, trusting in your coach’s guidance.

    The book also provides illustrative examples and guides the reader through some potential pitfalls—for example, what happens when morning you doesn’t want to do the things that evening you decided would be best?

    The absolute backbone of this method is that it takes away the paralysing self-doubt that can occur when we second-guess ourselves mid-task.

    In short, this book will fire up your enthusiasm and give you a reliable fall-back for when your motivation’s flagging.

    Grab Your Copy of “Coach’s Plan” on Amazon!

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  • The voice in your head may help you recall and process words. But what if you don’t have one?

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    Can you imagine hearing yourself speak? A voice inside your head – perhaps reciting a shopping list or a phone number? What would life be like if you couldn’t?

    Some people, including me, cannot have imagined visual experiences. We cannot close our eyes and conjure an experience of seeing a loved one’s face, or imagine our lounge room layout – to consider if a new piece of furniture might fit in it. This is called “aphantasia”, from a Greek phrase where the “a” means without, and “phantasia” refers to an image. Colloquially, people like myself are often referred to as having a “blind mind”.

    While most attention has been given to the inability to have imagined visual sensations, aphantasics can lack other imagined experiences. We might be unable to experience imagined tastes or smells. Some people cannot imagine hearing themselves speak.

    A recent study has advanced our understanding of people who cannot imagine hearing their own internal monologue. Importantly, the authors have identified some tasks that such people are more likely to find challenging.

    fizkes/Shutterstock

    What the study found

    Researchers at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark and at the University of Wisconsin-Madison in the United States recruited 93 volunteers. They included 46 adults who reported low levels of inner speech and 47 who reported high levels.

    Both groups were given challenging tasks: judging if the names of objects they had seen would rhyme and recalling words. The group without an inner monologue performed worse. But differences disappeared when everyone could say words aloud.

    Importantly, people who reported less inner speech were not worse at all tasks. They could recall similar numbers of words when the words had a different appearance to one another. This negates any suggestion that aphants (people with aphantasia) simply weren’t trying or were less capable.

    image of boy sitting with diagram of gold brain superimposed over image
    Hearing our own imagined voice may play an important role in word processing. sutadimages/Shutterstock

    A welcome validation

    The study provides some welcome evidence for the lived experiences of some aphants, who are still often told their experiences are not different, but rather that they cannot describe their imagined experiences. Some people feel anxiety when they realise other people can have imagined experiences that they cannot. These feelings may be deepened when others assert they are merely confused or inarticulate.

    In my own aphantasia research I have often quizzed crowds of people on their capacity to have imagined experiences.

    Questions about the capacity to have imagined visual or audio sensations tend to be excitedly endorsed by a vast majority, but questions about imagined experiences of taste or smell seem to cause more confusion. Some people are adamant they can do this, including a colleague who says he can imagine what combinations of ingredients will taste like when cooked together. But other responses suggest subtypes of aphantasia may prove to be more common than we realise.

    The authors of the recent study suggest the inability to imagine hearing yourself speak should be referred to as “anendophasia”, meaning without inner speech. Other authors had suggested anauralia (meaning without auditory imagery). Still other researchers have referred to all types of imagined sensation as being different types of “imagery”.

    Having consistent names is important. It can help scientists “talk” to one another to compare findings. If different authors use different names, important evidence can be missed.

    bare foot on mossy green grass
    We’re starting to broaden our understanding of the senses and how we imagine them. Napat Chaichanasiri/Shutterstock

    We have more than 5 senses

    Debate continues about how many senses humans have, but some scientists reasonably argue for a number greater than 20.

    In addition to the five senses of sight, smell, taste, touch and hearing, lesser known senses include thermoception (our sense of heat) and proprioception (awareness of the positions of our body parts). Thanks to proprioception, most of us can close our eyes and touch the tip of our index finger to our nose. Thanks to our vestibular sense, we typically have a good idea of which way is up and can maintain balance.

    It may be tempting to give a new name to each inability to have a given type of imagined sensation. But this could lead to confusion. Another approach would be to adapt phrases that are already widely used. People who are unable to have imagined sensations commonly refer to ourselves as “aphants”. This could be adapted with a prefix, such as “audio aphant”. Time will tell which approach is adopted by most researchers.

    Why we should keep investigating

    Regardless of the names we use, the study of multiple types of inability to have an imagined sensation is important. These investigations could reveal the essential processes in human brains that bring about a conscious experience of an imagined sensation.

    In time, this will not only lead to a better understanding of the diversity of humans, but may help uncover how human brains can create any conscious sensation. This question – how and where our conscious feelings are generated – remains one of the great mysteries of science.

    Derek Arnold, Professor, School of Psychology, The University of Queensland

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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