The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – by Mark Manson

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You may wonder from the title: is this book arguing that we should all be callous heartless monsters? And no, it is not.

Instead, author Mark Manson advocates for cynicism, but less in the manner of Scrooge, and more in the manner of Diogenes:

  • That life will involve struggle, so we might as well at least choose our struggles.
  • That we will make mistakes, so we might as well accept them as learning experiences.
  • That we will love and we will lose, so we might as well do it right while we can.

In short, the book is less about not caring… And more about caring about the right things only.

So, what are “the right things”? Manson bids us decide for ourselves, but certainly has ideas and pointers, with regard to what may or may not be healthy values to pursue.

The style throughout is casual and almost conversational, without being overly padded. It makes for very easy reading.

If the book has a weak point, it’s that when it briefly makes a suprisingly prescriptive turn into recommending we take up Buddhism, it may feel a bit like our friend who wants us to join in the latest MLM scheme. But, he’s soon back on track.

Bottom line: if you ever find yourself stressed with living up to unwanted expectations—your own, other people’s, and society’s—this book can really help streamline things.

Click here to check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and put your attention where it makes more of a positive difference!

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Recommended

  • Nonverbal Epiphany – by Dr. Stephen Furlich
  • Encyclopedia Of Herbal Medicine – by Andrew Chevallier
    This beautifully illustrated book bridges the gap between traditional use and scientific knowledge of herbal medicine. A must-have for anyone interested in natural remedies.

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  • Resistance Is Useful! (Especially As We Get Older)

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    Resistance Is Useful!

    At 10almonds we talk a lot about the importance of regular moderate exercise (e.g. walking, gardening, housework, etc), and with good reason: getting in those minutes (at least 150 minutes per week, so, a little over 20 minutes per day, or 25 minutes per day with one day off) is the exericise most consistently linked to better general health outcomes and reduced mortality risk.

    We also often come back to mobility, because at the end of the day, being able to reach for something from a kitchen cabinet without doing oneself an injury is generally more important in life than being able to leg-press a car.

    Today though, we’re going to talk about resistance training.

    What is resistance training?

    It can be weight-lifting, or it can be bodyweight exercises. In those cases, what you’re resisting is gravity. It can also be exercises with resistance bands or machines. In all cases, it’s about building and/or maintaining strength.

    Why does it matter?

    Let’s say you’re not an athlete, soldier, or laborer, and the heaviest thing you have to pick up is a bag of groceries. Strength still matters, for two main reasons:

    • Muscle strength correlates to bone strength. You can’t build (or maintain) strong muscles on weak bones, so if you take care of your muscles, then your body will keep your bones strong too.
      • That’s assuming you have a good diet as well—but today’s not about that. If you’d like to know more about eating for bone health though, do check out this previous article about that!
    • Muscle strength correlates to balance and stability. You can’t keep yourself from falling over if you are physically frail.

    Both of those things matter, because falls and fractures often have terrible health outcomes (e.g., slower recovery and more complications) the older we get. So, we want to:

    • Ideally, not fall in the first place
    • If we do fall, have robust bones

    See also: Effects of Resistance Exercise on Bone Health

    How much should we do?

    Let’s go to the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research on this one:

    ❝There is strong evidence to support the benefits of resistance exercise for countering many age-related processes of sarcopenia, muscle weakness, mobility loss, chronic disease, disability, and even premature mortality.

    In addition, this Position Statement provides specific evidence-based practice recommendations to aid in the implementation of resistance exercise programs for healthy older adults and those with special considerations.

    While there are instances where low-intensity, low-volume programs are appropriate (i.e., beginning programs for individuals with frailty or CVDs), the greatest benefits are possible with progression to moderate to higher intensity programs.❞

    ~ Fragala et al

    Read the statement in full:

    Resistance Training for Older Adults: Position Statement From the National Strength and Conditioning Association

    There’s a lot of science there and it’s well worth reading if you have the time. It’s particularly good at delineating how much is not enough vs how much is too much, and the extent to which we should (or shouldn’t) train to exhaustion.

    If you don’t fancy that, though, and/or just want to start with something accessible and work your way up, the below is a very good (and also evidence-based) start-up plan:

    Healthline’s Exercise Plan For Seniors—For Strength, Balance, & Flexibility

    (it has a weekly planner, step-by-step guides to the exercises, and very clear illustrative animations of each)

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  • It’s Not You, It’s Your Hormones – by Nicki Williams, DipION, mBANT, CNHC

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    So, first a quick note: this book is very similar to the popular bestseller “The Galveston Diet”, not just in content, but all the way down to its formatting. Some Amazon reviewers have even gone so far as to suggest that “It’s Not You, It’s Your Hormones” (2017) brazenly plagiarized “The Galveston Diet” (2023). However, after carefully examining the publication dates, we feel quite confident that this book is not a copy of the one that came out six years after it. As such, we’ve opted for reviewing the original book.

    Nicki Williams’ basic principle is that we can manage our hormonal fluctuations, by managing our diet. Specifically, in three main ways:

    • Intermittent fasting
    • Anti-inflammatory diet
    • Eating more protein and healthy fats

    Why should these things matter to our hormones? The answer is to remember that our hormones aren’t just the sex hormones. We have hormones for hunger and satedness, hormones for stress and relaxation, hormones for blood sugar regulation, hormones for sleep and wakefulness, and more. These many hormones make up our endocrine system, and affecting one part of it will affect the others.

    Will these things magically undo the effects of the menopause? Well, some things yes, other things no. No diet can do the job of HRT. But by tweaking endocrine system inputs, we can tweak endocrine system outputs, and that’s what this book is for.

    The style is very accessible and clear, and Williams walks us through the changes we may want to make, to avoid the changes we don’t want.

    In the category of criticism, there is some extra support that’s paywalled, in the sense that she wants the reader to buy her personally-branded online plan, and it can feel a bit like she’s holding back in order to upsell to that.

    Bottom line: this book is aimed at peri-menopausal and post-menopausal women. It could also definitely help a lot of people with PCOS too, and, when it comes down to it, pretty much anyone with an endocrine system. It’s a well-evidenced, well-established, healthy way of eating regardless of age, sex, or (most) physical conditions.

    Click here to check out It’s Not You, It’s Your Hormones, and take control of yours!

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  • Solitary Fitness – by Charles Bronson

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    Sometimes it can seem that every new diet and/or exercise regime you want to try will change your life, if just you first max out your credit card on restocking your kitchen and refurbishing your home gym, not to mention buying all the best supplements, enjoying the latest medical gadgets, and so on and so forth.

    And often… Most of those things genuinely are good! And it’s great that such things are becoming more accessible and available.

    But… Wouldn’t it be nice to know how to have excellent strength and fitness without any of that, even if just as a “bare bones” protocol to fall back on? That’s what Manson provides in this book.

    The writing style is casual and friendly; Manson is not exactly an academic, but he knows his stuff when it comes to what works. And a good general rule of thumb is: if it’s something that he can do in his jail cell, we can surely do it in the comfort of our homes.

    Bottom line: if you want functional strength and fitness with zero gimmicks, this is the book for you (as an aside, it’s also simply an interesting and recommendable read, sociologically speaking, but that’s another matter entirely).

    Click here to check out Solitary Fitness, and get good functional strength and fitness with nothing fancy!

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Related Posts

  • Nonverbal Epiphany – by Dr. Stephen Furlich
  • Protein-Stuffed Bell Peppers

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Hot, tasty, meaty, and vegan! You can have it all. And with this recipe, you’ll want to err on the side of overcatering, because everyone will want some. As for healthiness, we’ve got lycopene, lutein and a stack of other carotenoids, a plethora of other polyphenols, and a veritable garden party of miscellaneous phytochemicals otherwise categorized. It’s full of protein, fiber, vitamins, and minerals, relatively low-fat but the fats present are healthy. It’s antidiabetic, anti-CVD, anticancer, antineurodegeneration, and basically does everything short of making you sing well too.

    You will need

    • 4 large bell peppers, tops sliced open and innards removed (keep the tops; we will put them back on later)
    • 1 cup quinoa, rinsed
    • 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
    • 1 small zucchini (diced)
    • 1 small eggplant (diced)
    • 1 small red onion (finely chopped)
    • ½ bulb garlic, minced*
    • 1 tbsp tomato paste
    • 1 tbsp chia seeds
    • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
    • 2 tsp dried basil
    • 2 tsp dried thyme
    • 2 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
    • 2 tsp ground cumin
    • 1 tsp smoked paprika
    • ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt

    *we always try to give general guidelines with regard to garlic, but the reality is it depends on the size and strength of your local garlic, which we cannot account for, as well as your personal taste. Same situation with hot peppers of various kinds. This writer (it’s me, hi) would generally use about 2x the garlic and pepper advised in our recipes. All we can say is: follow your heart!

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Combine the quinoa with the chia seeds, and cook as per normal cooking of quinoa (i.e. bring to a boil and then simmer for about 15 minutes until cooked and fluffy). Drain and rinse (carefully, without losing the chia seeds; use a sieve).

    2) Heat your grill to a high heat. Combine the zucchini, eggplant, onion, garlic, and olive oil in a big bowl and mix well, ensuring an even distribution of the oil. Now also add the herbs and spices (including the MSG or salt) and mix well again. Put them all to grill for about 5 minutes, turning as necessary.

    3) Heat your oven to a high heat. Take the grilled vegetables and combine them in a bowl with the quinoa-and-chia, and the black beans, as well as the tomato paste. Mix everything well. Spoon the mixture generously into the bell peppers, replacing the tops (it can be loosely), and bake for about 5–10 minutes, keeping an eye on them; you want them to be lightly charred, but not a burnt offering.

    4) Serve! This dish works well as a light lunch or as part of a larger spread.

    (before going in the oven with lids replaced to keep moisture in)

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • General Tso’s Chickpeas

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    A fiber-rich, heart-healthy take on a classic:

    You will need

    • 1 can chickpeas, drained
    • ¾ cup vegetable stock; ideally you made this yourself from vegetable cuttings that you kept in the freezer for this purpose, but failing that, you should be able to get low-sodium stock cubes at your local supermarket.
    • ¼ cup arrowroot starch (cornstarch will do at a pinch, but arrowroot is better and has no flavor of its own)
    • 3 tbsp coconut oil
    • 2 tbsp grated fresh ginger
    • ¼ bulb garlic, minced
    • 2 tbsp honey (or maple syrup if you prefer, and if you don’t like sweetness, reduce this to 1 tbsp or even omit entirely, though it won’t be quite so “General Tso” if you do, but it’s your meal!)
    • 2 tbsp tomato paste
    • 2 tsp hot sauce
    • 1 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
    • 3 green onions, sliced

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Coat the chickpeas in the arrowroot starch by tossing them together in a bowl

    2) Heat the coconut oil in a skillet on a medium-high heat, and when hot, add the chickpeas, stirring for 3 minutes

    3) Add the remaining ingredients in the order we gave (except the vegetable stock, which goes in last), stirring for 5 more minutes, or until the sauce thickens

    4) Serve with the carb of your choice; we recommend our Tasty Versatile Rice Recipe

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • For Seniors With Hoarding Disorder, a Support Group Helps Confront Stigma and Isolation

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    A dozen people seated around folding tables clap heartily for a beaming woman: She’s donated two 13-gallon garbage bags full of clothes, including several Christmas sweaters and a couple of pantsuits, to a Presbyterian church.

    A closet cleanout might not seem a significant accomplishment. But as the people in this Sunday-night class can attest, getting rid of stuff is agonizing for those with hoarding disorder.

    People with the diagnosis accumulate an excessive volume of things such as household goods, craft supplies, even pets. In extreme cases, their homes become so crammed that moving between rooms is possible only via narrow pathways.

    These unsafe conditions can also lead to strained relationships.

    “I’ve had a few relatives and friends that have condemned me, and it doesn’t help,” said Bernadette, a Pennsylvania woman in her early 70s who has struggled with hoarding since retiring and no longer allows guests in her home.

    People who hoard are often stigmatized as lazy or dirty. NPR, Spotlight PA, and KFF Health News agreed to use only the first names of people with hoarding disorder interviewed for this article because they fear personal and professional repercussions if their condition is made public.

    As baby boomers age into the group most affected by hoarding disorder, the psychiatric condition is a growing public health concern. Effective treatments are scarce. And because hoarding can require expensive interventions that drain municipal resources, more funding and expertise is needed to support those with the diagnosis before the issue grows into a crisis.

    For Bernadette, the 16-week course is helping her turn over a new leaf.

    The program doubles as a support group and is provided through Fight the Blight. The Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, organization started offering the course at a local Masonic temple after founder Matt Williams realized the area lacked hoarding-specific mental health services.

    Fight the Blight uses a curriculum based on cognitive behavioral therapy to help participants build awareness of what fuels their hoarding. People learn to be more thoughtful about what they purchase and save, and they create strategies so that decluttering doesn’t become overwhelming.

    Perhaps more importantly, attendees say they’ve formed a community knitted together through the shared experience of a psychiatric illness that comes with high rates of social isolation and depression.

    “You get friendship,” said Sanford, a classmate of Bernadette’s.

    After a lifetime of judgment, these friendships have become an integral part of the changes that might help participants eventually clear out the clutter.

    Clutter Catches Up to Baby Boomers

    Studies have estimated that hoarding disorder affects around 2.5% of the general population — a higher rate than schizophrenia.

    The mental illness was previously considered a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but in 2013 it was given its own diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the DSM-5.

    The biological and environmental factors that may drive hoarding are not well understood. Symptoms usually appear during the teenage years and tend to be more severe among older adults with the disorder. That’s partly because they have had more time to acquire things, said Kiara Timpano, a University of Miami psychology professor.

    “All of a sudden you have to downsize this huge home with all the stuff and so it puts pressures on individuals,” she said. In Bernadette’s case, her clutter includes a collection of VHS tapes, and spices in her kitchen that she said date back to the Clinton administration.

    But it’s more than just having decades to stockpile possessions; the urge to accumulate strengthens with age, according to Catherine Ayers, a psychiatry professor at the University of California-San Diego.

    Researchers are working to discern why. Ayers and Timpano theorize that age-related cognitive changes — particularly in the frontal lobe, which regulates impulsivity and problem-solving — might exacerbate the disorder.

    “It is the only mental health disorder, besides dementia, that increases in prevalence and severity with age,” Ayers said.

    As the U.S. population ages, hoarding presents a growing public health concern: Some 1 in 5 U.S. residents are baby boomers, all of whom will be 65 or older by 2030.

    This population shift will require the federal government to address hoarding disorder, among other age-related issues that it has not previously prioritized, according to a July report by the Democratic staff of the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, chaired then by former Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.).

    Health Hazards of Hoarding

    Clutter creates physical risks. A cramped and disorderly home is especially dangerous for older adults because the risk of falling and breaking a bone increases with age. And having too many things in one space can be a fire hazard.

    Last year, the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation wrote to the Senate committee’s leadership that “hoarding conditions are among the most dangerous conditions the fire service can encounter.” The group also said that cluttered homes delay emergency care and increase the likelihood of a first responder being injured on a call.

    The Bucks County Board of Commissioners in Pennsylvania told Casey that hoarding-related mold and insects can spread to adjacent households, endangering the health of neighbors.

    Due to these safety concerns, it might be tempting for a family member or public health agency to quickly empty someone’s home in one fell swoop.

    That can backfire, Timpano said, as it fails to address people’s underlying issues and can be traumatic.

    “It can really disrupt the trust and make it even less likely that the individual is willing to seek help in the future,” she said.

    It’s more effective, Timpano said, to help people build internal motivation to change and help them identify goals to manage their hoarding.

    For example, at the Fight the Blight class, a woman named Diane told the group she wanted a cleaner home so she could invite people over and not feel embarrassed.

    Sanford said he is learning to keep his documents and record collection more organized.

    Bernadette wants to declutter her bedroom so she can start sleeping in it again. Also, she’s glad she cleared enough space on the first floor for her cat to play.

    “Because now he’s got all this room,” she said, “he goes after his tail like a crazy person.”

    Ultimately, the home of someone with hoarding disorder might always be a bit cluttered, and that’s OK. The goal of treatment is to make the space healthy and safe, Timpano said, not to earn Marie Kondo’s approval.

    Lack of Treatment Leaves Few Options

    A 2020 study found that hoarding correlates with homelessness, and those with the disorder are more likely to be evicted.

    Housing advocates argue that under the Fair Housing Act, tenants with the diagnosis are entitled to reasonable accommodation. This might include allowing someone time to declutter a home and seek therapy before forcing them to leave their home.

    But as outlined in the Senate aging committee’s report, a lack of resources limits efforts to carry out these accommodations.

    Hoarding is difficult to treat. In a 2018 study led by Ayers, the UCSD psychiatrist, researchers found that people coping with hoarding need to be highly motivated and often require substantial support to remain engaged with their therapy.

    The challenge of sticking with a treatment plan is exacerbated by a shortage of clinicians with necessary expertise, said Janet Spinelli, the co-chair of Rhode Island’s hoarding task force.

    Could Changes to Federal Policy Help?

    Casey, the former Pennsylvania senator, advocated for more education and technical assistance for hoarding disorder.

    In September, he called for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration to develop training, assistance, and guidance for communities and clinicians. He also said the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services should explore ways to cover evidence-based treatments and services for hoarding.

    This might include increased Medicare funding for mobile crisis services to go to people’s homes, which is one way to connect someone to therapy, Spinelli said.

    Another strategy would involve allowing Medicaid and Medicare to reimburse community health workers who assist patients with light cleaning and organizing; research has found that many who hoard struggle with categorization tasks.

    Williams, of Fight the Blight, agrees that in addition to more mental health support, taxpayer-funded services are needed to help people address their clutter.

    When someone in the group reaches a point of wanting to declutter their home, Fight the Blight helps them start the process of cleaning, removing, and organizing.

    The service is free to those earning less than 150% of the federal poverty level. People making above that threshold can pay for assistance on a sliding scale; the cost varies also depending on the size of a property and severity of the hoarding.

    Also, Spinelli thinks Medicaid and Medicare should fund more peer-support specialists for hoarding disorder. These mental health workers draw on their own life experiences to help people with similar diagnoses. For example, peer counselors could lead classes like Fight the Blight’s.

    Bernadette and Sanford say courses like the one they enrolled in should be available all over the U.S.

    To those just starting to address their own hoarding, Sanford advises patience and persistence.

    “Even if it’s a little job here, a little job there,” he said, “that all adds up.”

    This article is from a partnership that includes Spotlight PA, NPR, and KFF Health News.

    Spotlight PA is an independent, nonpartisan, and nonprofit newsroom producing investigative and public-service journalism that holds power to account and drives positive change in Pennsylvania. Sign up for its free newsletters.

    KFF Health News is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues and is one of the core operating programs at KFF—an independent source of health policy research, polling, and journalism. Learn more about KFF.

    Subscribe to KFF Health News’ free Morning Briefing.

    This article first appeared on KFF Health News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

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