The Myth of Normal – by Dr. Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté
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A lot of popular beliefs (and books!) start with the assumption that everyone is, broadly speaking, “normal”. That major diversions from “normal” happen only to other people… And that minor diversions from “normal” are just something to suck up and get over—magically effecting a return to “normalcy”.
Dr. Maté, however, will have none of these unhelpful brush-offs, and observes that in fact most if not all of us have been battered by the fates one way or another. We just:
- note that we have more similarities than differences, and
- tend to hide our own differences (to be accepted) or overlook other people’s (to make them more acceptable).
How is this more helpful? Well, the above approach isn’t always, but Mate has an improvement to offer:
We must see flawed humans (including ourselves) as the product of our environments… and/but see this a reason to look at improving those environments!
Beyond that…
The final nine chapters of the books he devotes to “pathways to wholeness” and, in a nutshell, recovery. Recovery from whatever it was for you. And if you’ve had a life free from anything that needs recovering from, then congratulations! You doubtlessly have at least one loved one who wasn’t so lucky, though, so this book still makes for excellent reading.
Dr. Maté was awarded the Order of Canada for his medical work and writing. His work has mostly been about addiction, trauma, stress, and childhood development. He co-wrote this book with his son, Daniel.
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I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. How do I tell my children?
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With around one in 50 adults diagnosed with cancer each year, many people are faced with the difficult task of sharing the news of their diagnosis with their loved ones. Parents with cancer may be most worried about telling their children.
It’s best to give children factual and age-appropriate information, so children don’t create their own explanations or blame themselves. Over time, supportive family relationships and open communication help children adjust to their parent’s diagnosis and treatment.
It’s natural to feel you don’t have the skills or knowledge to talk with your children about cancer. But preparing for the conversation can improve your confidence.
Benjamin Manley/Unsplash Preparing for the conversation
Choose a suitable time and location in a place where your children feel comfortable. Turn off distractions such as screens and phones.
For teenagers, who can find face-to-face conversations confronting, think about talking while you are going for a walk.
Consider if you will tell all children at once or separately. Will you be the only adult present, or will having another adult close to your child be helpful? Another adult might give your children a person they can talk to later, especially to answer questions they might be worried about asking you.
Choose the time and location when your children feel comfortable. Craig Adderley/Pexels Finally, plan what to do after the conversation, like doing an activity with them that they enjoy. Older children and teenagers might want some time alone to digest the news, but you can suggest things you know they like to do to relax.
Also consider what you might need to support yourself.
Preparing the words
Parents might be worried about the best words or language to use to make sure the explanations are at a level their child understands. Make a plan for what you will say and take notes to stay on track.
The toughest part is likely to be saying to your children that you have cancer. It can help to practise saying those words out aloud.
Ask family and friends for their feedback on what you want to say. Make use of guides by the Cancer Council, which provide age-appropriate wording for explaining medical terms like “cancer”, “chemotherapy” and “tumour”.
Having the conversation
Being open, honest and factual is important. Consider the balance between being too vague, and providing too much information. The amount and type of information you give will be based on their age and previous experiences with illness.
Remember, if things don’t go as planned, you can always try again later.
Start by telling your children the news in a few short sentences, describing what you know about the diagnosis in language suitable for their age. Generally, this information will include the name of the cancer, the area of the body affected and what will be involved in treatment.
Let them know what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Balance hope with reality. For example:
The doctors will do everything they can to help me get well. But, it is going to be a long road and the treatments will make me quite sick.
Check what your child knows about cancer. Young children may not know much about cancer, while primary school-aged children are starting to understand that it is a serious illness. Young children may worry about becoming unwell themselves, or other loved ones becoming sick.
Young children might worry about other loved ones becoming sick. Pixabay/Pexels Older children and teenagers may have experiences with cancer through other family members, friends at school or social media.
This process allows you to correct any misconceptions and provides opportunities for them to ask questions. Regardless of their level of knowledge, it is important to reassure them that the cancer is not their fault.
Ask them if there is anything they want to know or say. Talk to them about what will stay the same as well as what may change. For example:
You can still do gymnastics, but sometimes Kate’s mum will have to pick you up if I am having treatment.
If you can’t answer their questions, be OK with saying “I’m not sure”, or “I will try to find out”.
Finally, tell children you love them and offer them comfort.
How might they respond?
Be prepared for a range of different responses. Some might be distressed and cry, others might be angry, and some might not seem upset at all. This might be due to shock, or a sign they need time to process the news. It also might mean they are trying to be brave because they don’t want to upset you.
Children’s reactions will change over time as they come to terms with the news and process the information. They might seem like they are happy and coping well, then be teary and clingy, or angry and irritable.
Older children and teenagers may ask if they can tell their friends and family about what is happening. It may be useful to come together as a family to discuss how to inform friends and family.
What’s next?
Consider the conversation the first of many ongoing discussions. Let children know they can talk to you and ask questions.
Resources might also help; for example, The Cancer Council’s app for children and teenagers and Redkite’s library of free books for families affected by cancer.
If you or other adults involved in the children’s lives are concerned about how they are coping, speak to your GP or treating specialist about options for psychological support.
Cassy Dittman, Senior Lecturer/Head of Course (Undergraduate Psychology), Research Fellow, Manna Institute, CQUniversity Australia; Govind Krishnamoorthy, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology and Wellbeing, Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, University of Southern Queensland, and Marg Rogers, Senior Lecturer, Early Childhood Education; Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, University of New England
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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How a Michigan community center supports young people’s mental health
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Even before the COVID-19 pandemic made mental health problems worse for people of all ages, young people already struggled with a lack of support and treatment for issues like depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
Like many states, Michigan doesn’t have enough health care providers, and youth mental health professionals are in high demand.
Some local groups step in to support kids when they aren’t getting the help they need or experience long wait times for services.
To learn more about how one community-based organization tackles these challenges, Public Good News spoke with Avion Williams, Youth Coordinator at Community Family Life Center.
Here’s what she said.
[Editor’s note: The contents of this interview have been edited for length and clarity.]
Public Good News: Can you tell us more about your organization and where you’re located?
A.W.: Community Family Life Center is a community outreach center. We offer a multitude of after-school programs and services to Ypsilanti-Ann Arbor and even the Belleville community.
Ypsilanti is a small community. It was originally a farmer’s town. You will still see a lot of older families here.
A lot of our restaurants are like mom-and-pop shops. We have our downtown area, which is now being modernized a little bit, but again, a lot of shops are family-owned businesses that have been around for decades.
We have a lot of colleges. We have Eastern Michigan, which is the college I actually attend, and that’s in Ypsilanti. But we also have colleges right next door that are 10 minutes away, like University of Michigan and Concordia.
So it’s a college town, very family-oriented, but also a very small town with not too many resources.
PGN: Can you share some of your experiences as a youth coordinator trying to help young people access your organization’s services and programs?
A.W.: So we offer a ton of different programs, but our main focus is for kids to have something to do. There’s definitely a lot of young people in Ypsilanti.
I’m 25, and when I was in high school, a lot of people in my grade were having children. And they weren’t just having one baby, they were having multiple babies. You know, maybe one in tenth grade, another when we graduated our senior year, another right after. So a lot of people my age have a lot of children. And now I work with a lot of their children.
Many of those children come to after-school programs, and they’re in need of not just school things like math and reading, but they’re in need of, you know, love and care. Maybe mom can’t do everything because she has to work two or three jobs, or she doesn’t have the best financial help, and so she doesn’t know what to do.
And these young children get stuck with teachers that may not necessarily know how to give the best support, because maybe they’re stressed.
We have after-school programs and community centers like ours, where we get all of that.
Not only do we have to deal with mental health, we have to deal with these babies being hungry. We have to teach what mental health is.
PGN: What about therapy? How does that fit into the picture?
A.W.: Sometimes in society, people just throw therapy out there, like, ‘Go to therapy, go to therapy, go to therapy,’ but they don’t talk about the process of what it’s like getting a therapist.
I love the idea of therapy. Don’t get me wrong. Having somebody to talk to is very real. Having the right person to talk to is very real, right?
But I think sometimes we don’t talk about how everybody is not able to get therapy.
And a lot of times when people are ready for therapy, it’s after everything has happened.
You know, ‘Mom is gone, dad is gone. I’m doing terribly in school now. I’m acting out. Now I’m lashing out. I’m super hungry. I don’t have money for this. I don’t have money for that. I don’t know what to do about this…’ and then it’s like, ‘okay, I think I need therapy.’
Instead of us approaching it as, ‘Hey, this person’s mom is a young mom, maybe we should see if we can get therapy for both of them.’ Or when that child is being born, or when we see this young mom at the hospital and we see that she’s pregnant. Let’s offer some help before things start to hit the fan, right?
And maybe this mom doesn’t even have the proper health care to receive therapy, or let alone, doesn’t have the money to pay for it.
PGN: How does your organization respond to this need?
A.W.: We have a lot of ways to access our therapists. We started maybe two years ago, and at first a lot of people weren’t going. And now there’s so many people going that yes, we have this wait list.
So we also all do daily check-ins with our kids. We really do get to know our kids and their families and have consistent conversations with parents.
I always tell my kids this is a safe space to talk. I’m open to hear anything my students have to say.
This article first appeared on Public Good News and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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The Paleo Diet
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What’s The Real Deal With The Paleo Diet?
The Paleo diet is popular, and has some compelling arguments for it.
Detractors, meanwhile, have derided Paleo’s inclusion of modern innovations, and have also claimed it’s bad for the heart.
But where does the science stand?
First: what is it?
The Paleo diet looks to recreate the diet of the Paleolithic era—in terms of nutrients, anyway. So for example, you’re perfectly welcome to use modern cooking techniques and enjoy foods that aren’t from your immediate locale. Just, not foods that weren’t a thing yet. To give a general idea:
Paleo includes:
- Meat and animal fats
- Eggs
- Fruits and vegetables
- Nuts and seeds
- Herbs and spices
Paleo excludes:
- Processed foods
- Dairy products
- Refined sugar
- Grains of any kind
- Legumes, including any beans or peas
Enjoyers of the Mediterranean Diet or the DASH heart-healthy diet, or those with a keen interest in nutritional science in general, may notice they went off a bit with those last couple of items at the end there, by excluding things that scientific consensus holds should be making up a substantial portion of our daily diet.
But let’s break it down…
First thing: is it accurate?
Well, aside from the modern cooking techniques, the global market of goods, and the fact it does include food that didn’t exist yet (most fruits and vegetables in their modern form are the result of agricultural engineering a mere few thousand years ago, especially in the Americas)…
…no, no it isn’t. Best current scientific consensus is that in the Paleolithic we ate mostly plants, with about 3% of our diet coming from animal-based foods. Much like most modern apes.
Ok, so it’s not historically accurate. No biggie, we’re pragmatists. Is it healthy, though?
Well, health involves a lot of factors, so that depends on what you have in mind. But for example, it can be good for weight loss, almost certainly because of cutting out refined sugar and, by virtue of cutting out all grains, that means having cut out refined flour products, too:
Diet Review: Paleo Diet for Weight Loss
Measured head-to-head with the Mediterranean diet for all-cause mortality and specific mortality, it performed better than the control (Standard American Diet, or “SAD”), probably for the same reasons we just mentioned. However, it was outperformed by the Mediterranean Diet:
So in lay terms: the Paleo is definitely better than just eating lots of refined foods and sugar and stuff, but it’s still not as good as the Mediterranean Diet.
What about some of the health risk claims? Are they true or false?
A common knee-jerk criticism of the paleo-diet is that it’s heart-unhealthy. So much red meat, saturated fat, and no grains and legumes.
The science agrees.
For example, a recent study on long-term adherence to the Paleo diet concluded:
❝Results indicate long-term adherence is associated with different gut microbiota and increased serum trimethylamine-N-oxide (TMAO), a gut-derived metabolite associated with cardiovascular disease. A variety of fiber components, including whole grain sources may be required to maintain gut and cardiovascular health.❞
Bottom line:
The Paleo Diet is an interesting concept, and certainly can be good for short-term weight loss. In the long-term, however (and: especially for our heart health) we need less meat and more grains and legumes.
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Goji Berries vs Cherries – Which is Healthier?
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Our Verdict
When comparing goji berries to cherries, we picked the goji berries.
Why?
Looking at the macros first, goji berries have more protein, fiber, and carbs, as well as the lower glycemic index, although cherries are great too. Still, a clear and easy win here.
In the category of vitamins, goji berries have more of vitamins A and C, while cherries have more of vitamin K; in the other vitamins these two fruits are close enough to equal that variants in what kind of cherry it is will push it slightly one way or the other. However, it’s worth noting that goji berries have 1,991% more vitamin A and 16,033% more vitamin C, while cherries have only 20% more vitamin K. So, all in all, another clear win for goji berries.
When it comes to minerals, goji berries have more calcium and iron, while cherries have more copper. Again, the margins of difference are very much in goji berries’ favor, with 1,088% more calcium and 2,025% more iron, while cherries have 35% more copper. So, again, a win for goji berries.
The polyphenol contents of cherries differ far too much to comment here, but as a general rule of thumb, goji berries have more antioxidant powers than cherries, but cherries are also excellent for this.
In short, enjoy either or both, but goji berries are the more nutritionally dense!
Want to learn more?
You might like to read:
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Uric Acid’s Extensive Health Impact (And How To Lower It)
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Uric Acid’s Extensive Health Impact (And How To Lower It)
This is Dr. David Perlmutter. He’s a medical doctor, and a Fellow of the American College of Nutrition. He’s a member of the Editorial Board for the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, and has been widely published in many other peer-reviewed journals.
What does he want us to know?
He wants us to know about the health risks of uric acid (not something popularly talked about so much!), and how to reduce it.
First: what is it? Uric acid is a substance we make in our own body. However, unlike most substances we make in our body, we have negligible use for it—it’s largely a waste product, usually excreted in urine.
However, if we get too much, it can build up (and crystallize), becoming such things as kidney stones, or causing painful inflammation if it shows up in the joints, as in gout.
More seriously (unpleasant as kidney stones and gout may be), this inflammation can have a knock-on effect triggering (or worsening) other inflammatory conditions, ranging from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, to arthritis, to dementia, and even heart problems. See for example:
- David Perlmutter | Uric Acid and Cognitive Decline
- American Heart Association | Uric acid linked to later risk for irregular heart rhythm
- World Journal of Gastroenterology | The role of uric acid in non-alcoholic steatohepatitis development
How can we reduce our uric acid levels?
Uric acid is produced when we metabolize purine nucleotides, which are found in many kinds of food. We can therefore reduce our uric acid levels by reducing our purine intake, as well as things that mess up our liver’s ability to detoxify things. Offsetting the values for confounding variables (such as fiber content, or phytochemicals that mitigate the harm), the worst offenders include…
Liver-debilitating things:
- Alcohol (especially beer)
- High-fructose corn syrup (and other fructose-containing things that aren’t actual fruit)
- Other refined sugars
- Wheat / white flour products (this is why beer is worse than wine, for example; it’s a double-vector hit)
Purine-rich things:
- Red meats and game
- Organ meats
- Oily fish, and seafood (great for some things; not great for this)
Some beans and legumes are also high in purines, but much like real fruit has a neutral or positive effect on blood sugar health despite its fructose content, the beans and legumes that are high in purines, also contain phytochemicals that help lower uric acid levels, so have a beneficial effect.
Eggs (consumed in moderation) and tart cherries have a uric-acid lowering effect.
Water is important for all aspects of health, and doubly important for this.
Hydrate well!
Lifestyle matters beyond diet
The main key here is metabolic health, so Dr. Perlmutter advises the uncontroversial lifestyle choices of moderate exercise and good sleep, as well as (more critically) intermittent fasting. We wrote previously on other things that can benefit liver health:
…in this case, that means the liver gets a break to recuperate (something it’s very good at, but does need to get a chance to do), which means that while you’re not giving it something new to do, it can quickly catch up on any backlog, and then tackle any new things fresh, next time you start eating.
Want to know more about this from Dr. Perlmutter?
You might like his article:
An Integrated Plan for Lowering Uric Acid ← more than we had room for here; he also talks about extra things to include in your diet/supplementation regime for beneficial effects!
And/or his book:
…on which much of today’s main feature was based.
Take care!
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Menopause, & When Not To Let Your Guard Down
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This is Dr. Jessica Shepherd, a physician Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists, CEO at Sanctum Medical & Wellness, and CMO at Hers.
She’s most well-known for her expertise in the field of the menopause. So, what does she want us to know?
Untreated menopause is more serious than most people think
Beyond the famous hot flashes, there’s also the increased osteoporosis risk, which is more well-known at least amongst the health-conscious, but oft-neglected is the increased cardiovascular disease risk:
What Menopause Does To The Heart
…and, which a lot of Dr. Shepherd’s work focuses on, it also increases dementia risk; she cites that 60–80% of dementia cases are women, and it’s also established that it progresses more quickly in women than men too, and this is associated with lower estrogen levels (not a problem for men, because testosterone does it for them) which had previously been a protective factor, but in untreated menopause, was no longer there to help:
Alzheimer’s Sex Differences May Not Be What They Appear
Treated menopause is safer than many people think
The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) study, conducted in the 90s and published in 2002, linked HRT to breast cancer, causing fear, but it turned out that this was quite bad science in several ways and the reporting was even worse (even the flawed data did not really support the conclusion, much less the headlines); it was since broadly refuted (and in fact, it can be a protective factor, depending on the HRT regimen), but fearmongering headlines made it to mainstream news, whereas “oopsies, never mind, we take that back” didn’t.
The short version of the current state of the science is: breast cancer risk varies depending on age, HRT type, and dosage; some kinds of HRT can increase the risk marginally in those older than 60, but absolute risk is low compared to placebo, and taking estrogen alone can reduce risk at any age in the event of not having a uterus (almost always because of having had a hysterectomy; as a quirk, it is possible to be born without, though).
It’s worth noting that even in the cases where HRT marginally increased the risk of breast cancer, it significantly decreased the risk of cancers in total, as well fractures and all-cause-mortality compared to the placebo group.
In other words, it might be worth having a 0.12% risk of breast cancer, to avoid the >30% risk of osteoporosis, which can ultimately be just as fatal (without even looking at the other things the HRT is protective against).
However! In the case of those who already have (or have had) breast cancer, increasing estrogen levels can indeed make that worse/return, and it becomes more complicated in cases where you haven’t had it, but there is a family history of it, or you otherwise know you have the gene for it.
You can read more about HRT and breast cancer risk (increases and decreases) here:
…and about the same with regard to HMT, here:
The Hormone Therapy That Reduces Breast Cancer Risk & More
Lifestyle matters, and continues to matter
Menopause often receives the following attention from people:
- Perimenopause: “Is this menopause?”
- Menopause: “Ok, choices to make about HRT or not, plus I should watch out for osteoporosis”
- Postmenopause: “Yay, that’s behind me now, back to the new normal”
The reality, Dr. Shepherd advises, is that “postmenopause” is a misnomer because if it’s not being treated, then the changes are continuing to occur in your body.
This is a simple factor of physiology; your body is always rebuilding itself, will never stop until you die, and in untreated menopause+postmenopause, it’s now doing it without much estrogen.
So, you can’t let your guard down!
Thus, she recommends: focus on maintaining muscle mass, bone health, and cardiovascular health. If you focus on those things, the rest (including your brain, which is highly dependent on cardiovascular health) will mostly take care of itself.
Because falls and fractures, particularly hip fractures, drastically reduce quality and length of life in older adults, it is vital to avoid those, and try to be sufficiently robust so that if you do go A over T, you won’t injure yourself too badly, because your bones are strong. As a bonus, the same things (especially that muscle mass we talked about) will help you avoid falling in the first place, by improving stability.
See also: Resistance Is Useful! (Especially As We Get Older)
And about falls specifically: Fall Special: Be Robust, Mobile, & Balanced!
Want to know more from Dr. Shepherd?
You might like this book of hers that we reviewed not long back:
Generation M – by Dr. Jessica Shepherd
Take care!
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