‘I can’t quite shut it off’: Prevalence of insomnia a growing concern for women

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Tasha Werner, 43, gets up at 3:30 a.m. twice a week for her part-time job at a fitness centre in Calgary. After a five-hour shift, she is back home by 9 a.m. to homeschool her two children, aged 9 and 12. The hardest part of her position – stay-at-home mom, homeschool teacher and part-time worker – is the downtime “lost from my life,” says Werner.

A study by Howard M. Kravitz, a psychiatrist in Chicago, showed that up to 60 per cent of women experience sleep disorders due to hormonal changes linked to menopause. But there is an increasing prevalence of insomnia symptoms in women that may be attributed, in part, to societal changes.

“We live in a world that didn’t exist a generation ago. Now everyone is trying to figure it out,” says Michael Grandner, director of the Sleep and Health Research Program at the University of Arizona.

While women are no longer expected to stay at home, many who are employed outside the home also have the primary responsibility for family matters. And women aged 40 to 60 commonly fall within the “sandwich generation,” caring for both children and parents.

As women juggle their responsibilities, these duties can take a toll, both emotionally and practically.

Both Werner and her husband were raised in traditional homes; their mothers stayed at home to oversee childcare, cooking, grocery shopping and household duties. Initially, Werner and her husband followed a similar path, mirroring their parents’ lives as homemakers. “I think we just fell into what we were used to,” says Werner.

However, a notable shift in their family dynamics occurred once she started working outside the home.

Her children’s physical needs and illnesses have had major consequences on her sleep. If one of the children is sick with the flu, that’s “a week of not a lot of sleep during the night,” she says, “because that’s my job.” Many nights, she finds herself waking up between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m., worrying about how the kids are doing academically or behaviourally.

“We face a specific set of anxieties and a different set of pressures than men,” says Emma Kobil, who has been a therapist in Denver, Colo., for 15 years and is now an insomnia coach. There is so much pressure to be everything as a woman – to be an amazing homemaker and worker while maintaining a hot-rocking body and having a cool personality, to “be the cool mom but also the CEO, to follow your dreams and be the boss b****,” says Kobil.

And there’s an appeal to that concept. Daughters grow up viewing their moms as superwomen juggling responsibilities. But what isn’t always obvious are the challenges women face while managing their lives and the health issues they may encounter.

A study revealed that women are 41 per cent more at risk of insomnia than men.

A thorough study revealed that women are 41 per cent more at risk of insomnia than men. Beyond menopausal hormonal shifts, societal pressures, maternal concerns and the challenge of balancing multiple roles contribute to women’s increased susceptibility to insomnia.

Cyndi Aarrestad, 57, lives on a farm in Saskatchewan with her husband, Denis. Now an empty nester, Aarrestad fills her time working on the farm, keeping house, volunteering at her church and managing her small woodworking business. And she struggles with sleep.

Despite implementing some remedies, including stretching, drinking calming teas and rubbing her feet before bed, Aarrestad says achieving restful sleep has remained elusive for the past decade.

Two primary factors contribute to her sleep challenges — her inability to quiet her mind and hormonal hot flashes due to menopause. Faced with family and outside commitments, Aarrestad finds it challenging to escape night time’s mental chatter. “It’s a mom thing for me … I can’t quite shut it off.” Even as her children transitioned to young adulthood and moved out, the worries persisted, highlighting the lasting concerns moms have about their kids’ jobs, relationships and overall well-being.

Therapist Kobil says that every woman she’s ever worked with experiences this pressure to do everything, to be perfect. These women feel like they’re not measuring up. They’re encouraged to take on other people’s burdens; to be the confidante and the saviour in many ways; to sacrifice themselves. Sleep disruptions simply reflect the consequences of this pressure.

“They’re trying to fit 20 hours in a 24-hour day, and it doesn’t work,” says Grandner, the sleep specialist.

Grandner says that consistently sleeping six hours or less as an adult makes one 55 per cent more likely to become obese, 20 per cent more likely to develop high blood pressure, and 30 per cent more likely to develop Type 2 diabetes if you didn’t have it already. This lack of sleep makes you more likely to catch the flu. It makes vaccines less effective, and it increases your likelihood of developing depression and anxiety.

When is the time to change? Yesterday. Grandner warns that the sleep sacrifices made at a young age impact health later. But it’s never too late to make changes, he says, and “you do the best with what you’ve got.”

Kobil suggests a practical approach for women struggling with sleep. She emphasizes understanding that sleeplessness isn’t a threat and encourages a shift in mindset about being awake. Instead of fighting sleeplessness, she advises treating oneself kindly, recognizing the difficulty.

Kobil recommends creating a simple playbook with comforting activities for awake moments during the night. Just as you would comfort a child who’s afraid, she suggests being gentle with yourself, gradually changing the perception of wakefulness into a positive experience.

This article is republished from HealthyDebate under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Beetroot vs Carrot – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing beetroot to carrot, we picked the carrot.

    Why?

    It was close! And beetroot does have its advantages, but we say carrot wins on balance.

    In terms of macros, these two root vegetables are close to identical, down to both having 9.57g carbs per 100g, and 2.8g fiber per 100g. Technically, beetroot has a smidgen more protein, but nobody’s eating these for their tiny protein content.

    When it comes to vitamins, it’s not close and the margins are mostly huge: carrots have a lot more of vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, C, E, K, and choline, while beetroot has more vitamin B9.

    In the category of minerals, superficially it swings the other way, but the margins this time are small. Nevertheless, beetroot has more copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while carrots have more calcium.

    This would make things, on balance, a tie: equal on macros, carrots win on vitamins, beetroot wins on minerals.

    But because of the relative margins of difference, carrots win the day, because they’re almost as good as beetroot on those minerals, whereas beetroot doesn’t come close to carrot on the vitamins.

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  • To Err Is Human; To Forgive, Healthy

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    How To Forgive (And Why)

    There’s an old saying that holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. If only it were so simple and easy as just choosing to let go!

    But it’s not, is it?

    When people have wronged us and/or wronged our loved ones, it’s hard to forgive, especially if they have not changed. For that matter, it can be hard to forgive ourselves for mistakes that we made, too.

    Either way, “drinking that poison” can be close to literal, in terms of what harboring such anger and resentment can do for our cortisol levels.

    So, what to do about it?

    If you have a dialogue with the person, our previous article on communication may help a lot.

    If you don’t, there are various other angles that can be taken:

    The Unsent Letter

    You can even send it, if you like, but it’s not the point here. The idea is to write to the person, expressing your grievances. But, (as per the above-linked article on communication) try to focus at least as much on your feelings as their actions. “When you did/said x, I felt y”, etc.

    This is important for helping you process your feelings. If you send the letter, it’s also important for the other person to be able to understand your feelings.

    Sometimes, we feel the things we do so strongly because we don’t have an outlet for them. Pouring out our emotions in such a fashion, on the other hand, means (to labor the metaphor) they’re no longer bottled up. Even just in and of itself, that can provide us a lot of relief.

    And when we the negative emotions are no longer such high pressure, it can be easier to let go of them.

    Mindfulness

    Following on from the above idea, a good strategy can be simply sitting and feeling everything you need to feel, noticing it without judgement, like a curious observer.

    Sometimes what we need is just to be heard, and that starts with hearing ourselves.

    Compassion

    There’s a Buddhist exercise that involves actively feeling compassion for three people: a loved one, a stranger, and an enemy. Many people report that it’s actually harder to feel compassion for a random stranger, than an enemy. Why? Because we don’t know them; we don’t know what’s good and bad about them in our estimation.

    If you’re reading this because you want to be able to gain the peace of being able to forgive someone (even if that someone is yourself), then in at least some respect right now, that person is in the “enemy” category. So how do we unpack that?

    To err is human. Everybody screws up sometimes. And also, everyone has a reason (or a complex of reasons) for acting the way they do. This does not mean that those reasons excuse the behavior, but it can explain it.

    You don’t get angry at a storm for soaking you through. Even if you might not understand the physics of it in the way a meteorologist might, you understand that there were things that led to that, and you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    So why do we get angry at someone else for wronging us? Even if we might not understand the personal background of it in the way their psychologist or therapist might, we (hopefully) understand that there were things that caused them to be the way they were, and we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    And ourselves? We probably know, when we made a mistake, why we made it. Maybe we were afraid, insecure, reactive, forgetful, or too focused on some other thing. Whatever it was, we did our best at the time and, apparently, our best wasn’t as good as we’d like.

    If we didn’t deserve forgiveness, we wouldn’t be critical of our past selves in the first place.

    And, the science is very clear that it’s important for our health for other reasons besides cortisol management, too.

    And as for others? They did the best they knew how. Maybe they were afraid, insecure, reactive, forgetful, or too focused on some other thing. Same story, different character.

    Remembering that can be key to “accepting the apology we never received”.

    Forgiving without forgetting

    Developing the ability to forgive is a useful tool for our own mental health. It doesn’t mean we must or even should make ourselves a doormat.

    “I forgive you” does not have to mean a clean slate; it means remembering that the thing happened, and just not holding on to the anger/resentment associated with it.

    It may be water under the bridge now, but it might have been a devastatingly destructive wave at the time, and continuing to acknowledge truth that is sensible. Just, from a position of peace now, hopefully.

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  • Cherries vs Grapes – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing cherries to grapes, we picked the cherries.

    Why?

    First, let’s mention: we are looking at sour cherries and Californian grapes. Even those will of course vary in quality, but the nutritional values here are quite reliable averages.

    In terms of macros you might have guessed this one: cherries have nearly 2x the fiber and grapes have about 50% more carbs. So, while neither fruit is bad and they are both low glycemic index foods, cherry is the winner in this category.

    When it comes to vitamins, cherries have more of vitamins A, B3, B5, B9, C, and choline, while grapes have more of vitamins B1, B2, B6, E, and K. That’s a 6:5 win for cherries, and the respective margins of difference bear that out too.

    In the category of minerals, cherries have more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, and zinc, while grapes have more manganese and potassium. An easy 6:2 win for cherries.

    You might be wondering about polyphenols: both are very abundant in very many polyphenols; so much and so many, in fact, that we couldn’t possibly try to adjudicate between them without doing some complex statistical modeling (especially given how much this can vary from one sample to another, much more so than the micro-and macronutrient values discussed above), so we’ll call it a tie on these.

    Adding up the section makes for a clear win for cherries, but of course, enjoy either or both!

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  • 5 Ways To Make Your Smoothie Blood Sugar Friendly (Avoid the Spike!)

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    At 10almonds, we are often saying “eat whole fruit; don’t drink your calories”. Whole fruit is great for blood sugars; fruit juices and many smoothies on the other hand, not so much. Especially juices, being near-completely or perhaps even completely stripped of fiber, but even smoothies have had a lot of the fiber broken down and are still a liquid, meaning they are very quickly and easily digestible, and thus their sugars (whatever carbs are in there) can just zip straight into your veins.

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