Loving Someone Who Has Dementia – by Dr. Pauline Boss
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
We previously reviewed Dr. Boss’s excellent book “Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work With Ambiguous Loss”, which partially overlaps in ideas with this one. In that case, it was about grief when a loved one is “gone, but are they really?”, which can include missing persons, people killed in ways that weren’t 100% confirmed (e.g. no body to bury), and in contrast, people who are present in body but not entirely present mentally: perhaps in a coma, for example. It also includes people are for other reasons not entirely present in the way they used to be, which includes dementia. And that latter case is what this book focuses on.
In the case of dementia, we cannot, of course, simply focus on ourselves. Well, not if we care about the person with dementia, anyway. Much like with the other kinds of ambiguous loss, we cannot fully come to terms with things while on the cusp of presence and absence, and we cannot, as such, “give up” on our loved one.
What then, of hope? The author makes the case for—in absence of any kind of closure—making our peace with the situation as it is, making our peace with the uncertainty of things. And that means not only “at any moment could come a more clearly complete loss”, but also on the flipside at least a faint candle of hope, that we should not grasp with both hands (that is not how to treat a candle, literally or metaphorically), but rather, hold gently, and enjoy its gentle light.
Dr. Boss also covers more practical considerations; family rituals, celebrations, gatherings, and the idea of “the good-enough relationship”. Particularly helpfully, she gives her “seven guidelines for the journey”, which even if one decides against adopting them all, are definitely all good things to at least have considered.
The style is much more tailored to the lay reader than the other book of hers that we reviewed, which was intended more for clinicians, but useful also for those of us who have been hit by such kinds of grief. In this case, however, her intention is first and foremost for the family of a person who has dementia—there are still footnotes throughout though, for those who still want to read scientific papers that support the various ideas discussed in the book.
Bottom line: if a loved one has dementia or that seems a likely possibility for you, this book can help a lot!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Recommended
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
Daily, Weekly, Monthly: Habits Against Aging
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Dr. Anil Rajani has advice on restoring/retaining youthfulness. Two out of three of the sections are on skincare specifically, which may seem a vanity, but it’s also worth remembering that our skin is a very large and significant organ, and makes a big difference for the rest of our physical health, as well as our mental health. So, it’s worthwhile to look after it:
The recommendations
Daily: meditation practice
Meditation reduces stress, which reduction in turn protects telomere length, slowing the overall aging process in every living cell of the body.
Weekly: skincare basics
Dr. Rajani recommends a combination of retinol and glycolic acid. The former to accelerate cell turnover, stimulate collagen production, and reduce wrinkles; the latter, to exfoliate dead cells, allowing the retinol to do its job more effectively.
We at 10almonds would like to add: wearing sunscreen with SPF50 is a very good thing to do on any day that your phone’s weather app says the UV index is “moderate” or higher.
Monthly: skincare extras
Here are the real luxuries; spa visits, microneedling (stimulates collagen production), and non-ablative laser therapy. He recommends creating a home spa if possible for monthly skincare treatments, investing in high-quality devices for long-term benefits.
For more on all of these things, enjoy:
Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!
Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
- Age & Aging: What Can (And Can’t) We Do About It?
- No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness
- The Evidence-Based Skincare That Beats Product-Specific Hype
Take care!
Share This Post
-
PlantYou: Scrappy Cooking – by Carleigh Bodrug
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
This is a book that took “whole foods plant-based diet” and ran with it.
“Whole foods”, you say? Carleigh Bodrug has you covered in this guide to using pretty much everything.
One of the greatest strengths of the book is its “Got this? Make that” section, for using up those odds and ends that you’d normally toss.
You may be thinking: “ok, but if to use this unusual ingredient I have to buy four other ingredients to make this recipe, generating waste from those other ingredients, then this was a bad idea”, but fear not.
Bodrug covers that too, and in many cases leftover “would get wasted” ingredients can get turned into stuff that can go into longer-term storage one way or another, to use at leisure.
Which also means that on the day “there’s nothing in the house to eat” and you don’t want to go grocery-shopping, or if some global disaster causes the supply lines to fail and the stores become empty (that could never happen though, right?), you will have the mystical ability to conjure a good meal out of assorted odds and ends that you stored because of this book.
Bottom line: if you love food and hate food waste, this is a great book for you.
Click here to check out Scrappy Cooking, and do domestic magic!
Share This Post
-
A Fresh Take On Hypothyroidism
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
The Three Rs To Boost Thyroid-Related Energy Levels
This is Dr. Izabella Wentz. She’s a doctor of pharmacology, and after her own diagnosis with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, she has taken it up as her personal goal to educate others on managing hypothyroidism.
Dr. Wentz is also trained in functional medicine through The Institute for Functional Medicine, Kalish Functional Medicine, and the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine. She is a Fellow of the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists, and holds certifications in Medication Therapy Management as well as Advanced Diabetes Care through the American Pharmacists Association. In 2013, she received the Excellence in Innovation Award from the Illinois Pharmacists Association.
Dr. Wentz’s mission
Dr. Wentz was disenchanted by the general medical response to hypothyroidism in three main ways. She tells us:
- Thyroid patients are not diagnosed appropriately.
- For this, she criticises over-reliance on TSH tests that aren’t a reliable marker of thyroid function, especially if you have Hashimoto’s.
- Patients should be better optimized on their medications.
- For this, she criticizes many prescribed drugs that are actually pro-drugs*, that don’t get converted adequately if you have an underactive thyroid.
- Lifestyle interventions are often ignored by mainstream medicine.
- Medicines are great; they truly are. But medicating without adjusting lifestyle can be like painting over the cracks in a crumbling building.
*a “pro-drug” is what it’s called when the drug we take is not the actual drug the body needs, but is a precursor that will get converted to that actual drug we need, inside our body—usually by the liver, but not always. An example in this case is T4, which by definition is a pro-drug and won’t always get correctly converted to the T3 that a thyroid patient needs.
Well that does indeed sound worthy of criticism. But what does she advise instead?
First, she recommends a different diagnostic tool
Instead of (or at least, in addition to) TSH tests, she advises to ask for TPO tests (thyroid peroxidase), and a test for Tg antibodies (thyroglobulin). She says these are elevated for many years before a change in TSH is seen.
Next, identify the root cause and triggers
These can differ from person to person, but in countries that add iodine to salt, that’s often a big factor. And while gluten may or may not be a factor, there’s a strong correlation between celiac disease and Hashimoto’s disease, so it is worth checking too. Same goes for lactose.
By “checking”, here we mean testing eliminating it and seeing whether it makes a difference to energy levels—this can be slow, though, so give it time! It is best to do this under the guidance of a specialist if you can, of course.
Next, get to work on repairing your insides.
Remember we said “this can be slow”? It’s because your insides won’t necessarily bounce back immediately from whatever they’ve been suffering from for what’s likely many years. But, better late than never, and the time will pass anyway, so might as well get going on it.
For this, she recommends a gut-healthy diet with specific dietary interventions for hypothyroidism. Rather than repeat ourselves unduly here, we’ll link to a couple of previous articles of ours, as her recommendations match these:
She also recommends regular blood testing to see if you need supplementary TSH, TPO antibodies, and T3 and T4 hormones—as well as vitamin B12.
Short version
After diagnosis, she recommends the three Rs:
- Remove the causes and triggers of your hypothyroidism, so far as possible
- Repair the damage caused to your body, especially your gut
- Replace the thyroid hormones and related things in which your body has become deficient
Learn more
If you’d like to learn more about this, she offers a resource page, with resources ranging from on-screen information, to books you can get, to links to hook you up with blood tests if you need them, as well as recommended supplements to consider.
She also has a blog, which has an interesting relevant article added weekly.
Enjoy, and take care of yourself!
Share This Post
- Thyroid patients are not diagnosed appropriately.
Related Posts
-
Ham Substitute in Bean Soup
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small
I am interested in what I can substitute for ham in bean soup?
Well, that depends on what the ham was like! You can certainly buy ready-made vegan lardons (i.e. small bacon/ham bits, often in tiny cubes or similar) in any reasonably-sized supermarket. Being processed, they’re not amazing for the health, but are still an improvement on pork.
Alternatively, you can make your own seitan! Again, seitan is really not a health food, but again, it’s still relatively less bad than pork (unless you are allergic to gluten, in which case, definitely skip this one).
Alternatively alternatively, in a soup that already contains beans (so the protein element is already covered), you could just skip the ham as an added ingredient, and instead bring the extra flavor by means of a little salt, a little yeast extract (if you don’t like yeast extract, don’t worry, it won’t taste like it if you just use a teaspoon in a big pot, or half a teaspoon in a smaller pot), and a little smoked paprika. If you want to go healthier, you can swap out the salt for MSG, which enhances flavor in a similar fashion while containing less sodium.
Wondering about the health aspects of MSG? Check out our main feature on this, from last month:
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
A Planet of Viruses – by Carl Zimmer
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
We’ve reviewed numerous books on the immune system before, and this one’s mostly not about that.
Instead, this one focuses on the viruses themselves, and the part they play in our world, for good and for ill. Popular awareness tends to focus on the ill, of course.
But, there’s a lot that viruses do for us too, including:
- Weak/harmless viruses that keep our immune systems on their toes and ready
- Bacteriophage viruses that kill and consume pathogens that, left unchecked, would do the same to us
- Endogenous retroviruses that have become symbiotic with the human organism, without which our species would quickly go extinct
He also talks about biological warfare, and how we cannot bury our heads in the sand by avoiding research on those grounds, because someone will always do it anyway, so (as the motto of the immune system itself might say), best to be prepared.
The author is a science journalist, by the way, and has no PhD, but does have a flock of Fellowships and assorted scientific awards and honors, so he appears to be doing good work so far as the scientific community is concerned.
Bottom line: if you’d like to know more about viruses than “they’re very small and can cause harm”, then this book will open a whole new world.
Click here to check out A Planet of Viruses, and upgrade your knowledge!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
-
Dealing With Back Acne
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!
Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!
In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!
As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!
So, no question/request too big or small 😎
❝Lately I’ve increasingly been getting zits on my back, I don’t think my shower habits have changed at all, is this just an age thing or is there something I can do about it?❞
Well, we cannot diagnose from afar, so definitely consider seeing a dermatologist if it persists and/or it’s more than a small nuisance to you, but…
Yes and no, with regard to age.
Rather, it’s not really about age, but (in most cases, anyway) hormonal fluctuations. That’s why teenagers often get it; it’s also why acne breakouts can occur during pregnancy, and it can happen again in perimenopause, menopause, or in the postmenopause climb-down, due to imbalanced hormones during the change, and while it’s less likely for men undergoing the andropause (the noticeable drop of testosterone levels after a certain age), it can absolutely occur if taking certain androgenic supplements, including simply taking testosterone (or conversely, if taking something to dial down antagonistic hormones). It can also happen if you’re taking something that throws out your free testosterone to DHT ratio.
As for what to do in this case? The usual process is: just wait it out. At some point your hormones will become stable again (nature loves equilibrium, and the body is mostly a self-righting system if given what it needs to do that), and your skin will return to normal. To be clear: the acne occurs because of the change, not necessarily the end place. So whatever hormone levels you have, be they medicated or otherwise, you just need to keep them stable now (assuming the levels are fine; if not, get them fine, and then keep them stable—speak to an endocrinologist for that) in order to come out the other side acne-free.
However, that’s “the usual process”, and obviously we cannot guarantee it’s not something else. It can also be caused by stress:
The Impact of Pyschological Stress on Acne ← teehee, a typo made it into the publication title
…in which case, of course, simply manage your stress (we know, often easier said than done, but the point is, that’s the remedy in this case).
See also: How To Reduce Chronic Stress
Diet is not the cause (or cure), but enjoying an anti-inflammatory diet will be beneficial, and consuming inflammatory things, exacerbatory:
Effects of Diet on Acne and Its Response to Treatment
Hygiene is also rarely to blame, but it can make a difference, so: do wash gently, wear clean clothes, and wash your bedsheets more often than you think necessary. And about that showering:
Body Scrubs: Benefits, Risks, and Guidance
Take care!
Don’t Forget…
Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!
Learn to Age Gracefully
Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:
