Take Care Of Your “Unwanted” Parts Too!

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Meet The Family…

If you’ve heard talk of “healing your inner child” or similar ideas, then today’s featured type of therapy takes that to several extra levels, in a way that helps many people.

It’s called Internal Family Systems therapy, often “IFS” for short.

Here’s a quick overview:

Psychology Today | Internal Family Systems Therapy

Note: if you are delusional, paranoid, schizophrenic, or have some other related disorder*, then IFS would probably be a bad idea for you as it could worsen your symptoms, and/or play into them badly.

*but bipolar disorder, in its various forms, is not usually a problem for IFS. Do check with your own relevant healthcare provider(s), of course, to be sure.

What is IFS?

The main premise of IFS is that your “self” can be modelled as a system, and its constituent parts can be examined, questioned, given what they need, and integrated into a healthy whole.

For example…

  • Exile is the name given to parts that could be, for example, the “inner child” referenced in a lot of pop-psychology, but it could also be some other ignored and pushed-down part of oneself, often from some kind of trauma. The defining characteristic of an exile is that it’s a part of ourself that we don’t consciously allow ourselves to see as a current part of ourself.
  • Protector is the name given to a part of us that looks to keep us safe, and can do this in an adaptive (healthy) or maladaptive (unhealthy) way, for example:
    • Firefighter is the name given to a part of us that will do whatever is necessary in the moment to deal with an exile that is otherwise coming to the surface—sometimes with drastic actions/reactions that may not be great for us.
    • Manager is the name given to a part of us that has a more nurturing protective role, keeping us from harm in what’s often a more prophylactic manner.

To give a simple illustration…

A person was criticized a lot as a child, told she was useless, and treated as a disappointment. Consequently, as an adult she now has an exile “the useless child”, something she strives to leave well behind in her past, because it was a painful experience for her. However, sometimes when someone questions and/or advises her, she will get defensive as her firefighter “the hero” will vigorously speak up for her competence, like nobody did when she was a child. This vigor, however, manifests as rude abrasiveness and overcompensation. Finally, she has a manager, “the advocate”, who will do the same job, but in a more quietly confident fashion.

This person’s therapy will look at transferring the protector job from the firefighter to the manager, which will involve examining, questioning, and addressing all three parts.

The above example is fictional and created for simplicity and clarity; here’s a real-world case study if you’d like a more in-depth overview of how it can work:

American Journal of Psychotherapy | The Teenager’s Confession: Regulating Shame in Internal Family Systems Therapy

How it all fits together in practice

IFS looks to make sure all the parts’ needs are met, even the “bad” ones, because they all have their functions.

Good IFS therapy, however, can make sure a part is heard, and then reassure that part in a way that effectively allows that part to “retire”, safe and secure in the knowledge that it has done what it needed to, and/or the job is being done by another part now.

That can involve, for example, thanking the firefighter for looking after our exile for all these years, but that our exile is safe and in good hands now, so it can put that fire-axe away.

See also: On Being Reactive vs Being Responsive

Questions you might ask yourself

While IFS therapy is best given by a skilled practitioner, we can take some of the ideas of it for self-therapy too. For example…

  • What is a secret about yourself that you will take to the grave? And now, why did that part of you (now an exile) come to exist?
  • What does that exile need, that it didn’t get? What parts of us try to give it that nowadays?
  • What could we do, with all that information in mind, to assign the “protection” job to the part of us best-suited to healthy integration?

Want to know more?

We’ve only had the space of a small article to give a brief introduction to Family Systems therapy, so check out the “resources” tab at:

IFS Institute | What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

Take care!

Don’t Forget…

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  • Sprout Your Seeds, Grains, Beans, Etc

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Good Things Come In Small Packages

    “Sprouting” grains and seeds—that is, allowing them to germinate and begin to grow—enhances their nutritional qualities, boosting their available vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and even antioxidants.

    You may be thinking: surely whatever nutrients are in there, are in there already; how can it be increased?

    Well, the grand sweeping miracle of life itself is beyond the scope of what we have room to cover today, but in few words: there are processes that allow plants to transform stuff into other stuff, and that is part of what is happening.

    Additionally, in the cases of some nutrients, they were there already, but the sprouting process allows them to become more available to us. Think about the later example of how it’s easier to eat and digest a ripe fruit than an unripe one, and now scale that back to a seed and a sprouted seed.

    A third way that sprouting benefits us is by reducing“antinutrients”, such as phytic acid.

    Let’s drop a few examples of the “what”, before we press on to the “how”:

    Sounds great! How do we do it?

    First, take the seeds, grains, nuts, beans, etc that you’re going to sprout. Fine examples to try for a first sprouting session include:

    • Grains: buckwheat, brown rice, quinoa
    • Legumes: soy beans, black beans, kidney beans
    • Greens: broccoli, mustard greens, radish
    • Nuts/seeds: almonds, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds

    Note: whatever you use should be as unprocessed as possible to start with:

    • On the one hand, you’d be surprised how often “life finds a way” when it comes to sprouting ridiculous choices
    • On the other hand, it’s usually easier if you’re not trying to sprout blanched almonds, split lentils, rolled oats, or toasted hulled buckwheat.

    Second, you will need clean water, a jar with a lid, muslin cloth or similar, and a rubber band.

    Next, take an amount of the plants you’ll be sprouting. Let’s say beans of some kind. Try it with ¼ cup to start with; you can do bigger batches once you’re more confident of your setup and the process.

    Rinse and soak them for at least 24 hours. Take care to add more water than it looks like you’ll need, because those beans are thirsty, and sprouting is thirsty work.

    Drain, rinse, and put them in a clean glass jar, covering with just the muslin cloth in place of the lid, held in place by the rubber band. No extra water in it this time, and you’re going to be storing the jar upside down (with ventilation underneath, so for example on some sort of wire rack is ideal) in a dark moderately warm place (e.g. 80℉ / 25℃ is often ideal, but it doesn’t have to be exact, you have wiggle-room, and some things will enjoy a few degrees cooler or warmer than that)

    Each day, rinse and replace until you see that they are sprouting. When they’re sprouting, they’re ready to eat!

    Unless you want to grow a whole plant, in which case, go for it (we recommend looking for a gardening guide in that case).

    But watch out!

    That 80℉ / 25℃ temperature at which our sprouting seeds, beans, grains etc thrive? There are other things that thrive at that temperature too! Things like:

    • E. coli
    • Salmonella
    • Listeria

    …amongst others.

    So, some things to keep you safe:

    1. If it looks or smells bad, throw it out
    2. If in doubt, throw it out
    3. Even if it looks perfect, blanch it (by boiling it in water for 30 seconds, before rinsing it in cold water to take it back to a colder temperature) before eating it or refrigerating it for later.
    4. When you come back to get it from the fridge, see once again points 1 and 2 above.
    5. Ideally you should enjoy sprouted things within 5 days.

    Want to know more about sprouting?

    You’ll love this book that we reviewed recently:

    The Sprout Book – by Doug Evans

    Enjoy!

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  • You can now order all kinds of medical tests online. Our research shows this is (mostly) a bad idea

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Elena.Katkova/Shutterstock

    Many of us have done countless rapid antigen tests (RATs) over the course of the pandemic. Testing ourselves at home has become second nature.

    But there’s also a growing worldwide market in medical tests sold online directly to the public. These are “direct-to-consumer” tests, and you can access them without seeing a doctor.

    While this might sound convenient, the benefits to most consumers are questionable, as we discovered in a recent study.

    What are direct-to-consumer tests?

    Let’s start with what they’re not. We’re not talking about patients who are diagnosed with a condition, and use tests to monitor themselves (for example, finger-prick testing to monitor blood sugar levels for people with diabetes).

    We’re also not talking about home testing kits used for population screening, such as RATs for COVID, or the “poo tests” sent to people aged 50 and over for bowel cancer screening.

    Direct-to-consumer tests are products marketed to anyone who is willing to pay, without going through their GP. They can include hormone profiling tests, tests for thyroid disease and food sensitivity tests, among many others.

    Some direct-to-consumer tests allow you to complete the test at home, while self-collected lab tests give you the equipment to collect a sample, which you then send to a lab. You can now also buy pathology requests for a lab directly from a company without seeing a doctor.

    Hands preparing a RAT.
    We’ve all become accustomed to RATs during the pandemic.
    Ground Picture/Shutterstock

    What we did in our study

    We searched (via Google) for direct-to-consumer products advertised for sale online in Australia between June and December 2021. We then assessed whether each test was likely to provide benefits to those who use them based on scientific literature published about the tests, and any recommendations either for or against their use from professional medical organisations.

    We identified 103 types of tests and 484 individual products ranging in price from A$12.99 to A$1,947.

    We concluded only 11% of these tests were likely to benefit most consumers. These included tests for STIs, where social stigma can sometimes discourage people from testing at a clinic.

    A further 31% could possibly benefit a person, if they were at higher risk. For example, if a person had symptoms of thyroid disease, a test may benefit them. But the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners does not recommend testing for thyroid disease in people without symptoms because evidence showing benefits of identifying and treating people with early thyroid disease is lacking.

    Some 42% were commercial “health checks” such as hormone and nutritional status tests. Although these are legitimate tests – they may be ordered by a doctor in certain circumstances, or be used in research – they have limited usefulness for consumers.

    A test of your hormone or vitamin levels at a particular time can’t do much to help you improve your health, especially because test results change depending on the time of day, month or season you test.

    Most worryingly, 17% of the tests were outright “quackery” that wouldn’t be recommended by any mainstream health practitioner. For example, hair analysis for assessing food allergies is unproven and can lead to misdiagnosis and ineffective treatments.

    More than half of the tests we looked at didn’t state they offered a pre- or post-test consultation.

    A woman opening a box, which sits on her lap.
    Ordering medical tests online probably isn’t a good idea.
    fizkes/Shutterstock

    Products available may change outside the time frame of our study, and direct-to-consumer tests not promoted or directly purchasable online, such as those offered in pharmacies or by commercial health clinics, were not included.

    But in Australia, ours is the first and only study we know of mapping the scale and variety of direct-to-consumer tests sold online.

    Research from other countries has similarly found a lack of evidence to support the majority of direct-to-consumer tests.

    4 questions to ask before you buy a test online

    Many direct-to-consumer tests offer limited benefits, and could even lead to harms. Here are four questions you should ask yourself if you’re considering buying a medical test online.

    1. If I do this test, could I end up with extra medical appointments or treatments I don’t need?

    Doing a test yourself might seem harmless (it’s just information, after all), but unnecessary tests often find issues that would never have caused you problems.

    For example, someone taking a diabetes test may find moderately high blood sugar levels see them labelled as “pre-diabetic”. However, this diagnosis has been controversial, regarded by many as making patients out of healthy people, a large number of whom won’t go on to develop diabetes.

    2. Would my GP recommend this test?

    If you have worrying symptoms or risk factors, your GP can recommend the best tests for you. Tests your GP orders are more likely to be covered by Medicare, so will cost you a lot less than a direct-to-consumer test.

    3. Is this a good quality test?

    A good quality home self-testing kit should indicate high sensitivity (the proportion of true cases that will be accurately detected) and high specificity (the proportion of people who don’t have the disease who will be accurately ruled out). These figures should ideally be in the high 90s, and clearly printed on the product packaging.

    For tests analysed in a lab, check if the lab is accredited by the National Association of Testing Authorities. Avoid tests sent to overseas labs, where Australian regulators can’t control the quality, or the protection of your sample or personal health information.

    4. Do I really need this test?

    There are lots of reasons to want information from a test, like peace of mind, or just curiosity. But unless you have clear symptoms and risk factors, you’re probably testing yourself unnecessarily and wasting your money.

    Direct-to-consumer tests might seem like a good idea, but in most cases, you’d be better off letting sleeping dogs lie if you feel well, or going to your GP if you have concerns.The Conversation

    Patti Shih, Senior Lecturer, Australian Centre for Health Engagement, Evidence and Values, University of Wollongong; Fiona Stanaway, Associate Professor in Clinical Epidemiology, University of Sydney; Katy Bell, Associate Professor in Clinical Epidemiology, Sydney School of Public Health, University of Sydney, and Stacy Carter, Professor and Director, Australian Centre for Health Engagement, Evidence and Values, University of Wollongong

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Get Fitter As You Go

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Dr. Jaime Seeman: Hard To Kill?

    This is Dr. Jaime Seeman. She’s a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist with a background in nutrition, exercise, and health science. She’s also a Fellow in Integrative Medicine, and a board-certified nutrition specialist.

    However, her biggest focus is preventative medicine.

    What does she want us to know?

    The Five Pillars of being “Hard to Kill”!

    As an athlete when she was younger, she got away with poor nutrition habits with good exercise, but pregnancy (thrice) brought her poor thyroid function, other hormonal imbalances, and pre-diabetes.

    So, she set about getting better—not something the general medical establishment focuses on a lot! Doctors are pressured to manage symptoms, but are under no expectation to actually help people get better.

    So, what are her five pillars?

    Nutrition

    Dr. Seeman unsurprisingly recommends a whole-foods diet with lots of plants, but unlike many plant-enjoyers, she is also an enjoyer of the ketogenic diet.

    While keto-enthusiasts say “carbs are bad” and vegans say “meat is bad”, the reality is: both of those things can be bad, and in both cases, avoiding the most harmful varieties is a very good first step:

    Movement

    This is in two parts:

    • get your 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week
    • keep your body mobile!

    See also:

    Sleep

    This one’s quite straightforward, and Dr. Seeman uncontroversially recommends getting 7–9 hours per night; yes, even you:

    Mindset

    This is key to Dr. Seeman’s approach, and it is about not settling for average, because the average is undernourished, overmedicated, sedentary, and suffering.

    She encourages us all to keep working for better health, wherever we’re at. To not “go gentle into that good night”, to get stronger whatever our age, to showcase increasingly robust vitality as we go.

    To believe we can, and then to do it.

    Environment

    That previous item usually won’t last beyond a 10-day health-kick without the correct environment.

    As for how to make sure we have that? Check out:

    Our “food environments” affect what we eat. Here’s how you can change yours to support healthier eating

    Want more?

    She does offer coaching:

    Hard To Kill Academy: Master The Mindset To Maximize Your Years

    Take care!

    Share This Post

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  • Antioxidant Matcha Snack Bars

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    The antioxidants in this come not just from the matcha, but also the cacao nibs and chocolate, as well as lots of nutrients from the hazelnuts and cashews. If you’re allergic to nuts, we’ll give you substitutions that will change the nutritional profile (and flavor), but still work perfectly well and be healthy too.

    You will need

    For the base:

    • ⅔ cup roasted hazelnuts (if allergic, substitute dessicated coconut)
    • ⅔ cup chopped dates

    For the main part:

    • 1 cup raw cashews (if allergic, substitute raw coconut, chopped)
    • ½ cup almond milk (or your preferred milk of any kind)
    • ½ cup cacao nibs
    • 2 tbsp lime juice
    • 1 tbsp matcha powder
    • 1 tbsp maple syrup (omit if you don’t care for sweetness)

    For the topping (optional):

    • 2oz dark chocolate, melted (and if you like, tempered—but this isn’t necessary; it’ll just make it glossier if you do)
    • Spare cacao nibs, chopped nuts, or anything else you might want on there

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Blend the base ingredients in a food processor until it has a coarse sticky texture, but isn’t yet a paste or dough.

    2) Line a cake pan with baking paper and spread the base mix on the base; press it down to compact it a little and ensure it is flat. If there’s room, put this in the freezer while you do the next bit. If not, the fridge will suffice.

    3) Blend the main part ingredients apart from the cacao nibs, until smooth. Stir in the cacao nibs with a spoon.

    4) Spread the main part evenly over the base, and allow everything you’ve built (in this recipe, not in life in general) to chill in the fridge for at least 4 hours.

    5) Cut it into blocks of the size and shape you want to eat them, and (if adding the optional topping) separate the blocks slightly from each other, before drizzling with the chocolate topping. Put it back in the fridge to cool this too; an hour should be sufficient.

    6) Serve!

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

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  • DBT Made Simple – by Sheri van Dijk

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    This book offers very clear explanations of DBT. In fact, a more fitting title might have been “DBT made clear”, because it does it without oversimplification.

    This is a way in which van Dijk’s work stands out from that of many writers on the subject! Many authors oversimplify, to the point that a reader may wonder “is that all it is?” when, in reality, there’s rather more to it.

    This work is, therefore, refreshingly comprehensive, without sacrificing clarity.

    Van Dijk also takes us through the four pillars of DBT:

    1. Mindfulness
    2. Distress tolerance
    3. Emotional regulation
    4. Interpersonal effectiveness

    Each of these can help an individual alone; together, they produce a composite effect with a synergy that makes each more effective. Hence, pillars.

    On the topic of “an individual”, you may be wondering “is this book for therapists or the general public?” and the answer is yes, yes it is.

    That is to say: it’s written with the assumption that the reader wants to learn DBT in order to practice it as a therapist… and/but is written in such a fashion that it’s very easy to apply the skills to oneself, too. As it’s an introductory guide—a comprehensive one, but without assuming prior knowledge—it’s a perfect resource for anyone to get a good grounding in the subject.

    Bottom line: if you’ve been hearing about DBT (possibly from us!) and wondering where you might start, this book is an excellent place to begin.

    Click here to check out DBT Made Simple, and start making many parts of life easier!

    Don’t Forget…

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  • Avocado, Coconut & Lime Crumble Pots

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    This one’s a refreshing snack or dessert, whose ingredients come together to make a very good essential fatty acid supplement. Coconut is a good source of MCTs, avocados are rich in omega 3, 6, and 9, while chia seeds are a great ALA omega 3 food, topping up the healthy balance.

    You will need

    • flesh of 2 large ripe avocados
    • grated zest and juice of 2 limes
    • 3 tbsp coconut oil
    • 1 tbsp chia seeds
    • 2 tsp honey (omit if you prefer a less sweet dish)
    • 1 tsp desiccated coconut
    • 4 low-sugar oat biscuits

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Blend the avocado, lime juice, coconut oil, honey, and half the desiccated coconut, in a food processor.

    2) Scoop the mixture into 4 ramekins (or equivalent-sized glasses), making sure to leave a ½” gap at the top. Refrigerate for at least 2–4 hours (longer is fine if you’re not ready to serve yet).

    3) Assemble, by crumbling the oat biscuits and sprinkling on top of each serving, along with the other half of the desiccated coconut, the lime zest, and the chia seeds.

    4) Serve immediately:

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: