
An Important Way That Love Gets Eroded
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It is unusual for a honeymoon period to last forever, but some relationships fair a lot better than others. Not just in terms of staying together vs separating, but in terms of happiness and satisfaction in the relationship. What’s the secret? There are many, but here’s one of them…
Communication
In this video, the case is made for a specific aspect of communication: airing grievances.
Superficially, this doesn’t seem like a recipe for happiness, but it is one important ingredient—that it’s dangerously easy to let small grievances add up and eat away at one’s love and patience, until one day resentment outweighs attachment, and at that point, it often becomes a case of “checking out before you leave”, remaining in the relationship more due to inertia than volition.
Which, in turn, will likely start to cause resentment on the other side, and eventually things will crumble and/or explode.
In contrast, if we make sure to speak our feelings clearly (10almonds note, not in the video: we think that doing so compassionately is also important), the bad as well as the good, then it means that:
- things don’t stack up and fester (there will less likely be a “final straw” if we are regularly removing straws)
- there is an opportunity for change (in contrast, our partner would be unlikely to adjust anything to correct a problem they don’t know about)
- all but the most inclined-to-anxiety partners can rest easy, because they know that if we had a problem, we’d tell them
This is definitely only one critical aspect of communication; this video for example says nothing about actually being affectionate with one’s partner, or making sure to accept emotional bids for connection (per that story that goes “I knew my marriage was over when he wouldn’t come look at the tomatoes I grew”), but it is one worth considering—even if we at 10almonds would advise being gentle yet honest, and where possible balancing, in aggregate if not in the moment, with positive things (per Gottman’s ratio of 5:1 good moments to bad, being the magic number for marriages that “work”).
For more on why it’s so important to be able to safely air grievances, see:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
Seriously Useful Communication Skills! ← this deals with some of the important gaps left by the video
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What’s the link between talcum powder and cancer?
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More than 1,300 Victorians have joined a class action against Johnson & Johnson alleging its talcum powder products left them with ovarian cancer, mesothelioma (cancer affecting the lungs) and other cancers affecting the reproductive organs.
This follows lawsuits in the United Kingdom and the United States, including a prominent case in California. In December 2025, Johnson & Johnson was forced to pay two women US$40 million after a jury found its baby powder was dangerous and that it had failed to warn consumers.
Talc is a naturally occurring mineral mined in many parts of the world. People can come into contact with it during mining and processing, industrial applications, and more commonly, through its use in cosmetics and body powders.
People use talc on their genitals to absorb moisture, reduce friction, disguise odours, or to reduce skin rashes and chafing. Talc increases the opaqueness of face powders and cosmetics, leaving skin feeling smooth and soft.
So how is it linked to cancer? And what does the scientific evidence say?
Contamination with asbestos
Since the 1970s, questions have emerged about whether talc could be contaminated with asbestos. Asbestos is a cancer-causing agent that can affect the lungs when inhaled.
Talc and asbestos are minerals often found close to each other in the Earth, so there is potential for talc to be contaminated with asbestos during the mining process.
Since the 1970s, manufacturers have attempted to produce pure talcum powder free from asbestos. However, it’s unclear how routinely samples are tested and the extent of contamination over the past 50 years.
In 2023, Johnson & Johnson stopped selling talc in its products worldwide, including in Australia, switching instead to a cornflour base. Other manufacturers still sell talcum powder and it’s still used in cosmetics, as well as industrially.
What does the science say about the cancer link?
Two cancers have a possible link with talc use:
- lung cancer, due to the potential to inhale talc particles, which can occur with some types of jobs
- ovarian cancer, due to regular use of talcum powder in the genital area.
Some human studies have found products containing talc are linked with higher rates of ovarian cancer. Other studies have found no link.
Studies that examined the use of talc on the genital area found no evidence to suggest a link between talc and uterine or cervical cancer.
But there are several challenges to overcome when studying the link between talcum powder and cancer. It can be difficult to recall details about talc use (brand, amount, and so on) many years later. Some people who developed cancer will have died before being identified and studied, so won’t be included.
However, when researchers investigated how often participants used talc powder and compared those who used it frequently with those who didn’t, they found an increased risk of ovarian cancer among frequent users.
So what does it all mean?
When there are differing results from multiple studies, those results can be summarised together to answer the research question. So what does all the currently available evidence say about the relationship between talc usage and ovarian cancer?
This summary study concludes there appears to be a weak risk of some types of ovarian cancer, meaning it’s linked to a small increase in risk, but the reasons why remain unclear.
The evidence suggests talc does not increase the risk of other gynaecological cancers, such as uterine and cervical.
Talc contaminated with asbestos is clearly linked to an increased risk of lung cancer. However, cosmetic use of talc doesn’t seem to increase the risk of lung cancer because users don’t breathe it in.
In 2024 the World Health Organization (WHO) updated its advice to say that talc is “probably carcinogenic” which means it probably causes cancer in humans. This is the second-highest risk level for cancer, which includes the herbicide glyphosate (Roundup) and red meat.
If you use talcum powder and are concerned about an increased risk of cancer, it’s recommended you stop using it or limit how much you use. As with all decisions in life, consider the balance between potential harms and benefits, especially if you’ve used talc for a long time and want to minimise your risk of getting cancer.
Tam Ha, Associate Professor of Cancer Epidemiology, University of Wollongong
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Aging Solo – by Ellen Dawson
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Many of us will face the challenge of “aging solo”, if indeed we’re not already. The premise of this book is that while it may indeed be a challenge, it can be an exciting challenge rather than a scary one.
Thus, Dawson bids us empower ourselves to tackle it head on, proactively.
To that end, she offers her “EMPOWER” framework:
- Embrace the challenge of living solo
- Manage money mindfully while welcoming desires
- Prioritize vitality and live a vibrant life
- Own your identity; build resilience and confidence
- Weave bonds: build and maintain relationships (solo doesn’t mean lacking connections!
- Energize yourself and discover new passions
- Renew yourself and create a joyful environment
Now, as listed, those may seem a little vague, but rest assured she goes into great detail in the book, with a whole chapter for each.
For example, prioritizing vitality and energizing oneself can seem like a double-up, but the former chapter is about healthy living in the context of the solo life, while the latter chapter is more about avocation lifelong learning, overcoming fear of the unknown, and making sure to actually live this one precious life, not just go through the motions.
The style is energetic and motivational, and yet backed up with 19 pages of scientific references.
Bottom line: this book is, in essence, a roadmap for aging solo and creating the future we deserve, on our own terms. An enjoyable, practical, and uplifting read!
Click here to check out Aging Solo, and thrive as a “Soloist”!
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Margarine & Your Heart
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Whether butter or margarine are healthier has been a debate that has raged since the invention of margarine.
Before 2015, when margarines were filled with now-banned trans fats, that was a strong reason to opt for butter.
For more information on that, see: A Word About Trans-Fatty Acids (TFAs) ← when you click this one, you’ll need to scroll down slightly for the bit about trans fats.
Nowadays, the macronutrient/lipid profiles are generally more similar (although margarine usually has less saturated fat), except one thing that butter has in its favor: more micronutrients. What exactly they are (and how much) depends a lot on the diet and general health of the cows* from whom the milk to make the butter came, but they’re not something found in plant-based butter alternatives at this time.
*It is easy to think “yes, but grass-fed happy cows who skip gaily through the meadows during the day and the farmer tucks them into bed at night etc produce the best milk, and therefore the best butter”, and that is notionally true (if you’ll pardon the exaggeration of the scene). However…. Most people with a) completely forget about that when shopping b) easily fall for greenwashing; if there’s a picture of a meadow on the packet, it must be well-sourced, right? The truth is that almost all dairy produce in N. America comes from factory farms, so assume it’s that unless you see strong evidence to the contrary.
See also: What Health Difference Does Pasture-Raised Beef Actually Make? ← the answer is: negligible difference to the meat, though it does improve the micronutrient profiles of the dairy products.
Nevertheless, because of the saturated fat content, it’s not advisable to use more than a very small amount of either (two tablespoons of butter would put one at the daily limit already, without eating any other saturated fat that day). See also: What’s The Truth? Can Saturated Fats Be Healthy?
For more on the science of butter vs margarine, check out: Butter vs Margarine ← notwithstanding the title, this wasn’t a “This or That” article, it’s a mythbusting edition article!
The “Appeal to Nature” fallacy
Broadly speaking, it is well-established that:
- a minimally-processed whole-foods plant-based diet is a very healthful way of eating for most* people
- a diet high in ultra-processed foods is almost** always terrible for the health
*See: Do We Need Animal Products To Be Healthy? ← for most people no, for some, yes
**There is nuance here:
- See, on the one hand: How Likely Is It That Ultra-Processed Foods (UPFs) Will Kill You? ← answer: it is alarmingly likely
- But on the other hand: Are plant-based burgers really bad for your heart? Here’s what’s behind the scary headlines ← answer: they’re not fabulous, but they’re generally better than their animal-based equivalents, and certainly rarely worse
And yet, sometimes what is natural is not what is healthiest, and the “appeal to nature” fallacy is what goes wrong in a person’s logic when thinking “it’s natural, so it must be healthy” or, conversely, “it’s unnatural, so it must be healthy”.
You know what else is natural? Smallpox. You know what else is unnatural? Refrigeration.
So, putting assumptions either way aside, it’s been interesting to see some recent science on margarine and similar spreads.
A team of scientists (Dr. Wendy Hall et al.), examined whether (and if so, how) industrially processed interesterified (IE) fats—common in margarines, spreads, and bakery foods—affect heart health.
Specifically, IE fats rich in palmitic acid (from palm oil) and stearic acid (from other plant sources) were compared as substitutes for trans fats and animal fats.
What they checked for: cholesterol, triglycerides, insulin sensitivity, liver fat, inflammation, and blood vessel function were all assessed, over the course of the 6-week trial (which yes, is certainly long enough to establish the impact of dietary choices on those metrics, though of course longer is always better), during which their diets were tailored to include 10% of their daily calories as the fat type being tested.
What they found: no significant differences were found between the two fat types in blood cholesterol or triglyceride levels, including the total-to-HDL cholesterol ratio (a key indicator of heart disease risk), and no adverse effects were observed on inflammation, insulin resistance, liver fat, or vascular function.
In the lead researcher’s own words:
❝Our findings provide reassuring evidence that industrially processed fats currently used in everyday foods, whether rich in palmitic or stearic acid, are unlikely to have harmful effects on cardiovascular health when consumed in amounts that people could achieve in their everyday diets. ❞
~ Dr. Wendy Hall, lead researcher of the study
And to quote her colleague,
❝With the current demonization of everything processed, this research highlights that not all food processing is bad for us.
The process of interesterification allows the generation of hard fats in place of harmful trans fats, while also enabling manufacturers to reduce the saturated fat content of spreads and foods. Given the widespread use of the process of interesterification of fats and the fearmongering around food processing, this research is timely.❞
~ Dr. Sarah Berry, senior author of the study
Want to learn more?
If you want to get back to basics in the healthiest way, consider expanding your knowledge of the various cooking oils at your disposal:
Butter vs Plant Oils: What The Latest Evidence Shows ← includes a stack of head-to-heads that we’ve done in our “This or That” section, plus some very strong science
Enjoy!
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Getting Flexible, Starting As An Adult: How Long Does It Really Take?
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
Aleks Brzezinska didn’t start stretching until she was 21, and here’s what she found:
We’ll not stretch the truth
A lot of stretching programs will claim “do the splits in 30 days” or similar, and while this may occasionally be true, usually it’ll take longer.
Brzezinska started stretching seriously when she was 21, and made significant flexibility gains between the ages of 21 and 23 with consistent practice. Since then, she’s just maintained her flexibility.
There are facts that affect progress significantly, such as:
- Anatomy: body structure, age, and joint flexibility do influence flexibility; starting younger and/or having hypermobile joints does make it easier.
- Consistency: regular practice (2–3 times a week) is crucial, but avoid overdoing it, especially when sore.
- Lifestyle: weightlifting, running, and similar activities can tighten muscles, making flexibility harder to achieve.
- Hydration: staying hydrated is important for muscle flexibility.
She also recommends incorporating a variety of different stretching types, rather than just one method, for example passive stretching, active stretching, Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation (PNF) stretching, and mobility work.
For more on each of these, enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like:
Jasmine McDonald’s Ballet Stretching Routine
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SuperLife – by Darin Olien
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We mostly know more or less what we’re supposed to be doing, at least to a basic level, when it comes to diet and exercise. So why don’t we do it?
Where Darin Olien excels in this one is making healthy living—mostly the dietary aspects thereof—not just simple, but also easy.
He gives principles we can apply rather than having to memorize lots of information… And his “this will generally be better than that” format also means that the feeling is one of reducing harm, increasing benefits, without needing to get absolutist about anything. And that, too, makes healthy living easier.
The book also covers some areas that a lot of books of this genre don’t—such as blood oxygenation, and maintenance of healthy pH levels—and aspects such as those are elements that help this book to stand out too.
Don’t be put off and think this is a dry science textbook, though—it’s not. In fact, the tone is light and the style is easy-reading throughout.
Bottom line: if you want to take an easy, casual, but scientifically robust approach to tweaking your health for the better, this book will enable you to do that.
Click here to check out SuperLife and start upgrading your health!
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Why do women get ‘reassurance scans’ during pregnancy? And how can you spot a dodgy provider?
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Recent media coverage in the Nine newspapers highlights a surge in non-medical ultrasound providers offering “reassurance ultrasounds” to expectant parents.
The service has resulted in serious harms, such as misdiagnosed ectopic pregnancies and undetected fetal abnormalities, according to the reports.
So why do some women choose additional ultrasounds? And how can you tell if you should trust the person providing your ultrasound?
Shutterstock What are reassurance scans?
Reassurance scans are a type of non-medical elective or “entertainment” ultrasound some women seek in addition to their routine first- and second-trimester scans.
Reassurance scans are marketed as a way to “give you peace of mind” about your baby’s development, or to assure you “everything is progressing as it should” if you’re not due for a routine scan.
They’re also called souvenir, boutique or keepsake ultrasounds, because these business typically sell memento packages. These often include so-called 4D images: renderings combined with the fourth dimension of time to show movement.
Some businesses offer gender identification information, sometimes with “gender-reveal” party accessories, as well as audio recordings of the fetal heartbeat.
Why do women get them?
Detailed interview studies have explored why ultrasound images beyond the routine scans are so popular.
Many expecting parents want to learn the fetal sex as early as possible, seek reassurance, see the facial features of their future child and acquire keepsake images.
Others find the routine scans too rushed and impersonal, turning to commercial providers as a more ceremonious and fulfilling ritual.
Some women feel rushed during routine scans. Jordi Mora/Shutterstock Health sociologists have emphasised the positive health impacts of non-medical ultrasound, which can help expecting mothers and fathers bond with their baby.
Some feminists in the 20th century criticised the medicalisation of pregnancy for devaluing “lived experience”. But recent feminist accounts have re-framed non-medical scans as a way for women to get health care that goes beyond clinical utility.
Rather than trivialising the “entertainment” value of these services, some argue obstetricians could learn from the service, thus improving patient satisfaction during obstetric imaging.
What are the risks of these services?
In recent years, the technology to provide detailed scans has become more portable, with handheld, smartphone-compatible ultrasound devices now available.
This, along with the normalisation of sharing ultrasound images on social media, has likely led to more commercial businesses offering these services.
Yet the service is considered fraught with unmanageable psychological and social risk. Providers are usually not trained to counsel mothers or families should a fetal anomaly be suspected.
Professional organisations have denounced these businesses for misleading consumers with false reassurances. As these scans aren’t checked by a clinician, these operators cannot give reliable assurances.
The World Federation for Ultrasound in Medicine and Biology and similar bodies disapprove of souvenir ultrasounds on safety grounds. So too does the Australian Sonographers Association, which represents about 70% of sonographers.
No substantive restrictions on ultrasound devices
Australia’s Therapeutic Goods Administration regulates the supply of medical devices. It registers them, classifies them according to their risk and sometimes attaches conditions to their use.
However, some portable ultrasound scanners approved as low-risk devices carry no specific conditions. Lay consumers could theoretically purchase them, including through the personal importation scheme.
Last year, the TGA de-registered several handheld devices used to detect fetal heartbeats during pregnancy without health practitioner supervision.
The decision followed a post-market review that found expectant parents had been falsely reassured by the devices themselves or by untrained people using them in home settings.
However, no such review has been conducted for portable ultrasound devices.
While removing devices from the register in this manner may limit consumer access, it is not a “product recall” and would not prevent the continued sale of second-hand devices.
These days it’s normal to share ultrasound images on social media. fizkes/Shutterstock Who can perform ultrasounds?
While some specialist health practitioners may perform ultrasounds (such as obstetricians holding a relevant certificate), most diagnostic imaging specialists are sonographers.
To perform medical ultrasounds that are eligible for a Medicare rebate, sonographers must be trained and accredited.
But there is no sonography registration board to receive complaints about sonographers or take disciplinary action against them. This sets sonographers apart from registered health practitioners such as doctors, nurses and pharmacists.
The Australian Sonographers Association has argued sonographers should be regulated by a registration board.
This could make sonographers more clearly identifiable through title protections, ensure poorly performing sonographers are disciplined and allow for consistent national standards.
However, it would not stop unregistered people from providing non-medical ultrasounds.
So how can you tell if your provider is a sonographer?
One clear signal that a provider is offering a non-diagnostic ultrasound is that no Medicare subsidy is on offer.
Australian providers conducting imaging without accreditation must inform consumers of their non-accredited status and confirm no Medicare benefit is payable.
Not doing so would amount to an offence.
How can you report a dodgy provider?
You can make complaints to state-based health complaints bodies. The Health Care Complaints Commission in New South Wales, for example, can investigate complaints about sonographers as non-registered health practitioners and consider the relevant code of conduct.
When a sonographer is found to have acted improperly, or to pose a health or safety risk, these complaints bodies may issue orders prohibiting the sonographer from providing any health services for a specified period.
Australian consumer law is another way authorities may crack down on unscrupulous providers. In 2015, a person was prosecuted in Western Australia after selling identical images to six women who received non-medical ultrasounds in their homes.
Her offences involved making false or misleading claims and accepting money for services not provided.
If non-medical imaging providers make misleading claims, including about the level of clinical reassurance a non-diagnostic scan can provide, you can report them to the Australian Consumer and Competition Commission.
Christopher Rudge, Law lecturer, University of Sydney
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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