An Important Way That Love Gets Eroded
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It is unusual for a honeymoon period to last forever, but some relationships fair a lot better than others. Not just in terms of staying together vs separating, but in terms of happiness and satisfaction in the relationship. What’s the secret? There are many, but here’s one of them…
Communication
In this video, the case is made for a specific aspect of communication: airing grievances.
Superficially, this doesn’t seem like a recipe for happiness, but it is one important ingredient—that it’s dangerously easy to let small grievances add up and eat away at one’s love and patience, until one day resentment outweighs attachment, and at that point, it often becomes a case of “checking out before you leave”, remaining in the relationship more due to inertia than volition.
Which, in turn, will likely start to cause resentment on the other side, and eventually things will crumble and/or explode.
In contrast, if we make sure to speak our feelings clearly (10almonds note, not in the video: we think that doing so compassionately is also important), the bad as well as the good, then it means that:
- things don’t stack up and fester (there will less likely be a “final straw” if we are regularly removing straws)
- there is an opportunity for change (in contrast, our partner would be unlikely to adjust anything to correct a problem they don’t know about)
- all but the most inclined-to-anxiety partners can rest easy, because they know that if we had a problem, we’d tell them
This is definitely only one critical aspect of communication; this video for example says nothing about actually being affectionate with one’s partner, or making sure to accept emotional bids for connection (per that story that goes “I knew my marriage was over when he wouldn’t come look at the tomatoes I grew”), but it is one worth considering—even if we at 10almonds would advise being gentle yet honest, and where possible balancing, in aggregate if not in the moment, with positive things (per Gottman’s ratio of 5:1 good moments to bad, being the magic number for marriages that “work”).
For more on why it’s so important to be able to safely air grievances, see:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
Seriously Useful Communication Skills! ← this deals with some of the important gaps left by the video
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The Truth About Statins – by Barbara H. Roberts, M.D.
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All too often, doctors looking to dispense a “quick fix” will prescribe from their playbook of a dozen or so “this will get you out of my office” drugs. Most commonly, things that treat symptoms rather than the cause. Sometimes, this can be fine! For example, in some cases, painkillers and antidepressants can make a big improvement to people’s lives. What about statins, though?
Prescribed to lower cholesterol, they broadly do exactly that. However…
Dr. Roberts wants us to know that we could be missing the big picture of heart health, and making a potentially fatal mistake.
This is not to say that the book argues that statins are necessarily terrible, or that they don’t have their place. Just, we need to understand what they will and won’t do, and make an informed choice.
To which end, she does advise regards when statins can help the most, and when they may not help at all. She also covers the questions to ask if your doctor wants to prescribe them. And—all so frequently overlooked—the important differences between men’s and women’s heart health, and the implications these have for the efficacy (or not) of statins.
With regard to the “alternatives to cholesterol-lowering drugs” promised in the subtitle… we won’t keep any secrets here:
Dr. Roberts (uncontroversially) recommends the Mediterranean diet. She also provides two weeks’ worth of recipes for such, in the final part of the book.
All in all, an important book to read if you or a loved one are taking, or thinking of taking, statins.
Pick up your copy of The Truth About Statins on Amazon today!
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Codependent No More – by Melody Beattie
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
This is a book review, not a book summary, but first let’s quickly cover a common misconception, because the word “codependent” gets misused a lot in popular parlance:
- What codependence isn’t: “we depend on each other and must do everything together”
- What codependence is:“person 1 has a dependency on a substance (or perhaps a behavior, such as gambling); person 2 is trying to look after person 1, and so has developed a secondary relationship with the substance/behavior. Person 2 is now said to be codependent, because it becomes all-consuming for them too, even if they’re not using the substance/behavior directly”
Funny how often it happens that the reality is more complex than the perception, isn’t it?
Melody Beattie unravels all this for us. We get a compassionate and insightful look at how we can look after ourselves, while looking after another. Perhaps most importantly: how and where to draw a line of what we can and cannot do/change for them.
Because when we love someone, of course we want to fight their battles with them, if not for them. But if we want to be their rock of strength, we can’t get lost in it too, and of course that hurts.
Beatty takes us through these ideas and more, for example:
- How to examine our own feelings even when it’s scary
- How to practice self-love and regain self-worth, while still caring for them
- How to stop being reactionary, step back, and act with purpose
If the book has any weak point, it’s that it repeatedly recommends 12-step programs, when in reality that’s just one option. But for those who wish to take another approach, this book does not require involvement in a 12-step program, so it’s not a barrier to usefulness.
Click here to check out Codependent No More and take care of yourself, too
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Radiant Rebellion – by Karen Walrond
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
In health terms, we are often about fighting aging here. But to be more specific, what we’re fighting in those cases is not truly aging itself, so much as age-related decline.
Karen Walrond makes a case that we’ve made from the very start of 10almonds (but she wrote a whole book about it), that there’s merit in looking at what we can and can’t control about aging, doing what we reasonably can, and embracing what we can’t.
And yes, embracing, not merely accepting. This is not a downer of a book; it’s a call to revolution. It asks us to be proud of our grey hairs, to see our smile-lines around our eyes as the sign of a lived-in body, and even to embrace some of the unavoidable “actual decline” things as part of the journey of life. Maybe we’re not as strong as we used to be and now need a grippety-doodah to open jars; not everyone gets to live long enough to experience that! How lucky we are.
Perhaps most importantly, she bids us be the change we want to see in the world, and inspire others with our choices and actions, and shake off ageist biases for good.
Bottom line: if you want to foster a better attitude to aging not only for yourself, but also those around you, then this is a top-tier book for that.
Click here to check out Radiant Rebellion, and reclaim aging!
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Sun, Sea, And Sudden Killers To Avoid
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Stay Safe From Heat Exhaustion & Heatstroke!
For most of us, summer is upon us now. Which can be lovely… and also bring new, different health risks. Today we’re going to talk about heat exhaustion and heatstroke.
What’s the difference?
Heat exhaustion is a milder form of heatstroke, but the former can turn into the latter very quickly if left untreated.
Symptoms of heat exhaustion include:
- Headache
- Nausea
- Cold sweats
- Light-headedness
Symptoms of heatstroke include the above and also:
- Red/flushed-looking skin
- High body temperature (104ºF / 40ºC)
- Disorientation/confusion
- Accelerated heart rate
Click here for a handy downloadable infographic you can keep on your phone
What should we do about it?
In the case of heatstroke, call 911 or the equivalent emergency number for the country where you are.
Hopefully we can avoid it getting that far, though:
Prevention first
Here are some top tips to avoid heat exhaustion and thus also avoid heatstroke. Many are common sense, but it’s easy to forget things—especially in the moment, on a hot sunny day!
- Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate
- (Non-sugary) iced teas, fruit infusions, that sort of thing are more hydrating than water alone
- Avoid alcohol
- If you really want to imbibe, rehydrate between each alcoholic drink
- Time your exercise with the heat in mind
- In other words, make any exercise session early or late in the day, not during the hottest period
- Use sunscreen
- This isn’t just for skin health (though it is important for that); it will also help keep you cooler, as it blocks the UV rays that literally cook your cells
- Keep your environment cool
- Shade is good, air conditioning / cooling fans can help.
- A wide-brimmed hat is portable shade just for you
- Wear loose, breathable clothing
- We write about health, not fashion, but: light breathable clothes that cover more of your body are generally better healthwise in this context, than minimal clothes that don’t, if you’re in the sun.
- Be aware of any medications you’re taking that will increase your sensitivity to heat.
- This includes medications that are dehydrating, and includes most anti-depressants, many anti-nausea medications, some anti-allergy medications, and more.
- Check your labels/leaflets, look up your meds online, or ask your pharmacist.
Treatment
If prevention fails, treatment is next. Again, in the case of heatstroke, it’s time for an ambulance.
If symptoms are “only” of heat exhaustion and are more mild, then:
- Move to a cooler location
- Rehydrate again
- Remove clothing that’s confining or too thick
- What does confining mean? Clothing that’s tight and may interfere with the body’s ability to lose heat.
- For example, you might want to lose your sports bra, but there is no need to lose a bikini, for instance.
- What does confining mean? Clothing that’s tight and may interfere with the body’s ability to lose heat.
- Use ice packs or towels soaked in cold water, applied to your body, especially wear circulation is easiest to affect, e.g. forehead, wrists, back of neck, under the arms, or groin.
- A cool bath or shower, or a dip in the pool may help cool you down, but only do this if there’s someone else around and you’re not too dizzy.
- This isn’t a good moment to go in the sea, no matter how refreshing it would be. You do not want to avoid heatstroke by drowning instead.
If full recovery doesn’t occur within a couple of hours, seek medical help.
Stay safe and have fun!
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Real Superfoods – by Ocean Robbins & Nichole Dandrea-Russert
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Of the two authors, the former is a professional public speaker, and the latter is a professional dietician. As a result, we get a book that is polished and well-presented, while actually having a core of good solid science (backed up with plenty of references).
The book is divided into two parts; the first part has 9 chapters pertaining to 9 categories of superfood (with more details about top-tier examples of each, within), and the second part has 143 pages of recipes.
And yes, as usual, a couple of the recipes are “granola” and “smoothie”, but when are they not? Most of the recipes are worthwhile, though, with a lot of good dishes that should please most people.
Bottom line: this is half pop-science presentation of superfoods, and half cookbook featuring those ingredients. Definitely a good way to increase your consumption of superfoods, and get the most out of your diet.
Click here to check out Real Superfoods, and power up your health!
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12 Most Powerful Supplements and Foods to Increase Energy & Slow Down Aging
10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.
If you see the energy that this health coach has and would like some of that, here are the top 10 supplements she recommends—most being available from food, which she discusses too:
The Other “Daily Dozen”
We’ve written about most of these before, so those we have, we’ve added links for your convenience!
- Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10): can be supplemented, usually from yeast, or consumed by eating other animals, in particular organ meats.
- PQQ (Pyrroloquinoline Quinone): promotes new mitochondria, found in spinach, parsley, carrots, tomatoes, green tea.
- Creatine: enhances energy, muscle recovery, brain health.
- Spirulina: anti-inflammatory, detoxifying, improves exercise performance.
- Anti-Factor Phospholipids: helps repair mitochondrial membranes.
- Nitrates: found in leafy greens and beets; boosts circulation and endurance.
- Curcumin (from Turmeric): reduces inflammation and supports brain health.
- Astaxanthin: found in seafood (from algae upwards), fights inflammation, protects skin.
- Medicinal Mushrooms (e.g. chaga, cordyceps, reishi, lion’s mane, etc—not psilocybin and friends!): boosts energy, immune function.
- Panax Ginseng: reduces oxidative stress and fatigue.
- NAD+ & B3 (Niacin): supports cellular energy and metabolism.
- Yerba Mate Tea: increases dopamine and boosts energy naturally.
For more on all of these plus a pointer with regard to making use of hydroponics to grow your own (she sells a kit), enjoy:
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Want to learn more?
You might also like to read:
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Don’t Forget…
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