Radical CBT

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Radical Acceptance!

A common criticism of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is that much of it hinges on the following process:

  • You are having bad feelings
  • Which were caused by negative automatic thoughts
  • Which can be taken apart logically
  • Thus diffusing the feelings
  • And then feeling better

For example:

  • I feel like I’m an unwanted burden to my friend
  • Because he canceled on me today
  • But a reasonable explanation is that he indeed accidentally double-booked himself and the other thing wasn’t re-arrangeable
  • My friend is trusting me to be an understanding friend myself, and greatly values my friendship
  • I feel better and look forward to our next time together

But what if the negative automatic thoughts are, upon examination, reasonable?

Does CBT argue that we should just “keep the faith” and go on looking at a cruel indifferent world through rose-tinted spectacles?

Nope, there’s a back-up tool.

This is more talked-about in Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT), and is called radical acceptance:

Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load automatically!

Radical acceptance here means accepting the root of things as true, and taking the next step from there. It follows a bad conclusion with “alright, and now what?”

“But all evidence points to the fact that my friend has been avoiding me for months; I really can’t ignore it or explain it away any longer”


“Alright. Now what?”

  • Maybe there’s something troubling your friend that you don’t know about (have you asked?)
  • Maybe that something is nothing to do with you (or maybe it really is about you!)
  • Maybe there’s a way you and he can address it together (how important is it to you?)
  • Maybe it’s just time to draw a line under it and move on (with or without him)

Whatever the circumstances, there’s always a way to move forwards.

Feelings are messengers, and once you’ve received and processed the message, the only reason to keep feeling the same thing, is if you want to.

Note that this is true even when you know with 100% certainty that the Bad Thing™ is real and exactly as-imagined. It’s still possible for you to accept, for example:

“Alright, so this person really truly hates me. Damn, that sucks; I think I’ve been nothing but nice to them. Oh well. Shit happens.”

Feel all the feelings you need to about it, and then decide for yourself where you want to go from there.

Get: 25 CBT Worksheets To Help You Find Solutions To A Wide Variety of Problems

Recognizing Emotions

We talked in a previous edition of 10almonds’ Psychology Sunday about how an important part of dealing with difficult emotions is recognizing them as something that you experience, rather than something that’s intrinsically “you”.

But… How?

One trick is to just mentally (or out loud, if your current environment allows for such) greet them when you notice them:

  • Hello again, Depression
  • Oh, hi there Anxiety, it’s you
  • Nice of you to join us, Anger

Not only does this help recognize and delineate the emotion, but also, it de-tooths it and recognizes it for what it is—something that doesn’t actually mean you any harm, but that does need handling.

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  • 4 ways to cut down on meat when dining out – and still make healthy choices

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Many of us are looking for ways to eat a healthier and more sustainable diet. And one way to do this is by reducing the amount of meat we eat.

    That doesn’t mean you need to become a vegan or vegetarian. Our recent research shows even small changes to cut down on meat consumption could help improve health and wellbeing.

    But not all plant-based options are created equal and some are ultra-processed. Navigating what’s available when eating out – including options like tofu and fake meats – can be a challenge.

    So what are your best options at a cafe or restaurant? Here are some guiding principles to keep in mind when cutting down on meat.

    Mikhaylovskiy/Shutterstock

    Health benefits to cutting down

    Small amounts of lean meat can be part of a healthy, balanced diet. But the majority of Australians still eat more meat than recommended.

    Only a small percentage of Australians (10%) are vegetarian or vegan. But an increasing number opt for a flexitarian diet. Flexitarians eat a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, while still enjoying small amounts of meat, dairy, eggs and fish.

    Our recent research looked at whether the average Australian diet would improve if we swapped meat and dairy for plant-based alternatives, and the results were promising.

    The study found health benefits when people halved the amount of meat and dairy they ate and replaced them with healthy plant-based foods, like tofu or legumes. On average, their dietary fibre intake – which helps with feeling fuller for longer and digestive health – went up. Saturated fats – which increase our blood cholesterol levels, a risk factor for heart disease – went down.

    Including more fibre and less saturated fat helps reduce the risk of heart disease.

    Achieving these health benefits may be as simple as swapping ham for baked beans in a toastie for lunch, or substituting half of the mince in your bolognese for lentils at dinner.

    A hand holding a plate filled with vegetables and pita bread.
    Filling your plate with fibre-rich foods can help lower cholesterol. Wally Pruss/Shutterstock

    How it’s made matters

    For a long time we’ve known processed meats – such as ham, bacon and sausages – are bad for your health. Eating high amounts of these foods is associated with poor heart health and some forms of cancer.

    But the same can be true of many processed meat alternatives.

    Plant-based alternatives designed to mimic meat, such as sausages and burgers, have become readily available in supermarkets, cafes and restaurants. These products are ultra-processed and can be high in salt and saturated fat.

    Our study found when people replaced meat and dairy with ultra-processed meat alternatives – such as plant-based burgers or sausages – they ate more salt and less calcium, compared to eating meat or healthy plant-based options.

    So if you’re cutting down on meat for health reasons, it’s important to think about what you’re replacing it with. The Australian Dietary Guidelines recommend eggs, legumes/beans, tofu, nuts and seeds.

    Tofu can be a great option. But we recommend flavouring plain tofu with herbs and spices yourself, as pre-marinated products are often ultra-processed and can be high in salt.

    What about when dining out?

    When you’re making your own food, it’s easier to adapt recipes or reduce the amount of meat. But when faced with a menu, it can be difficult to work out what is the best option.

    Two people eat noodles from takeaway bowls.
    Eating a range of colours is one way to ensure variety. Mikhail Nilov/Pexels

    Here are our four ways to make healthy choices when you eat out:

    1. Fill half your plate with vegetables

    When cutting down on meat, aim for half your plate to be vegetables. Try to also eat a variety of colours, such as leafy green spinach, red capsicum and pumpkin.

    When you’re out, this might look like choosing a vegetable-based entree, a stir-fry or ordering a side salad to have with your meal.

    2. Avoid the deep fryer

    The Australian Dietary Guidelines recommend limiting deep fried foods to once a week or less. When dining out, choose plant-based options that are sautéed, grilled, baked, steamed, boiled or poached – instead of those that are crumbed or battered before deep frying.

    This could mean choosing vegetarian dumplings that are steamed not fried, or poached eggs at brunch instead of fried. Ordering a side of roast vegetables instead of hot chips is also a great option.

    3. Pick wholegrains

    Scan the menu for wholegrain options such as brown rice, wholemeal pizza or pasta, barley, quinoa or wholemeal burger buns. Not only are they good sources of protein, but they also provide more dietary fibre than refined grains, which help keep you fuller for longer.

    4. If you do pick meat – choose less processed kinds

    You may not always want, or be able, to make a vegetarian choice when eating out and with other people. If you do opt for meat, it’s better to steer clear of processed options like bacon or sausages.

    If sharing dishes with other people, you could try adding unprocessed plant-based options into the mix. For example, a curry with lentils or chickpeas, or a vegetable-based pizza instead of one with ham or salami. If that’s not an option, try choose meat that’s a lean cut, such as chicken breast, or options which are grilled rather than fried.

    Laura Marchese, PhD candidate at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, Deakin University and Katherine Livingstone, NHMRC Emerging Leadership Fellow and Senior Research Fellow at the Institute for Physical Activity and Nutrition, Deakin University

    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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  • Gut – by Dr. Giulia Enders

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    On account of being an organ (or rather, a system of organs) whose functions are almost entirely autonomic, most of us don’t think about our gut much. We usually know there’s acid in the stomach, and we usually know there are “good and bad” gut bacteria. But what of the rest of what goes on?

    For anyone who has a hazy half-remembered knowledge from school, this will serve as not only a reminder, but a distinct upgrade in knowledge.

    Dr. Giuliua Enders talks us through not just the processes of what goes on, but, as a medical doctor, also many instances of what can go wrong, for example:

    • Why do some people’s bodies mistake nuts for a deadly threat (and consequently, accidentally elevate them to the status of actually becoming a deadly threat)?
    • Why are some people lactose-intolerant, and why do food intolerances often pop up later with age?
    • Why do constipation and diarrhoea happen?
    • Why is it that stress can cause stomach ulcers?

    The style of writing is light and easy-reading, and the illustrations are clear too. This is a very accessible book that doesn’t assume prior knowledge, and also doesn’t skimp on the scientific explanations—there’s no dumbing down here.

    Bottom line: knowing what goes on in our gut as akin to knowing what goes on under the hood of a car. A lot of the time we don’t need to know, but knowing can make a big difference from time to time, and that’s when you’ll wish you’d learned!

    Click here to check out Gut and be prepared!

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  • Eat Move Sleep – by Tom Rath

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    The subtitle of this book, “how small choices lead to big changes“, is very much the idea that a lot of what we do here at 10almonds is about.

    And the title itself, “Eat Move Sleep”? Well, that’s 3/5 of The Usual Five Things™ that we promote here (the other two being: reduce or eliminate alcohol, and don’t smoke). So, naturally this book got our attention.

    One of the key ideas that Rath presents is that every action we take leads to a net gain or loss in health. The question then is: what are the biggest point-swingers? In other words, what are the places in our life where the smallest changes can make the biggest difference?

    Rath looks at what parts of diet make the biggest difference to our health, and the findings there alone probably make reading the book worthwhile.

    When it comes to movement, he actually flips this! For Rath, it’s less about how much exercise you get, and more about minimizing how long we spend not moving… And especially, minimizing how long we spend sitting. So, lots of little tweaks for that.

    In the category of sleep: a key idea is that quality is as important as quantity, and there’s an aspect of bringing together as a synergistic routine. To finish off a productive day with good rest, and power up ready for the next morning.

    In short: tying these items together—and focusing on the smallest choices that lead to the biggest changes—makes for quite a manifesto that we could describe as “Atomic Habits, for health specifically”.

    Click here to check out Eat Move Sleep on Amazon!

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  • “You Just Need to Lose Weight” And 19 Other Myths About Fat People – by Aubrey Gordon

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    We’ve previously reviewed another book by this author, “What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat”, and this time, she’s doing some important mythbusting.

    The titular “you just need to lose weight” is a commonly-taken easy-out for many doctors, to avoid having to dispense actual treatment for an actual condition. Whether or not weight loss would help in a given situation is often immaterial; “kicking the can down the road” is the goal.

    Most of the book is divided into 20 chapters, each of them devoted to debunking one myth. Think of it like 10almonds’ “Mythbusting Friday” edition (indeed, we did one about obesity), but with an entire book, and as much room as she needs to provide much more detail than we can ever get into in a single article.

    And far from being a mere polemic, she does indeed provide that detail—this is clearly a very well-researched book, above and beyond the author’s own personal experience. Further, all the key points are illustrated and articulated clearly, making the book’s ideas very comprehensible.

    The style is pop-science, but with frequent bibliographical references for relevant sources.

    Bottom line: for some readers, this book will come as a great validation; for others, it may be eye-opening. Either way, it’s a very worthwhile read.

    Click here to check out “You Just Need to Lose Weight” And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, and get those myths cleared out!

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  • Why Diets Make Us Fat – by Dr. Sandra Aamodt

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s well-known that crash-dieting doesn’t work. Restrictive diets will achieve short-term weight loss, but it’ll come back later. In the long term, weight creeps slowly upwards. Why?

    Dr. Sandra Aamodt explores the science and sociology behind this phenomenon, and offers an evidence-based alternative.

    A lot of the book is given over to explanations of what is typically going wrong—that is the title of the book, after all. From metabolic starvation responses to genetics to the negative feedback loop of poor body image, there’s a lot to address.

    However, what alternative does she propose?

    The book takes us on a shift away from focusing on the numbers on the scale, and more on building consistent healthy habits. It might not feel like it if you desperately want to lose weight, but it’s better to have healthy habits at any weight, than to have a wreck of physical and mental health for the sake of a lower body mass.

    Dr. Aamodt lays out a plan for shifting perspectives, building health, and letting weight loss come by itself—as a side effect, not a goal.

    In fact, as she argues (in agreement with the best current science, science that we’ve covered before at 10almonds, for that matter), that over a certain age, people in the “overweight” category of BMI have a reduced mortality risk compared to those in the “healthy weight” category. It really underlines how there’s no point in making oneself miserably unhealthy with the end goal of having a lighter coffin—and getting it sooner.

    Bottom line: will this book make you hit those glossy-magazine weight goals by your next vacation? Quite possibly not, but it will set you up for actually healthier living, for life, at any weight.

    Click here to check out Why Diets Make Us Fat, and live healthier and better!

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  • Should You Soak Your Nuts?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? You can always hit “reply” to any of our emails, or use the feedback widget at the bottom!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝hi. how many almonds should one eat per day? do they need to be soaked? thank you.❞

    Within reason, however many you like! Given that protein is an appetite suppressant, you’ll probably find it’s not too many.

    Dr. Michael Greger, of “How Not To Die” fame, suggests aiming for 30g of nuts per day. Since almonds typically weigh about 1g each, that means 30 if it’s all almonds.

    And if you’re wondering about 10 almonds? The name’s a deliberate reference to an old internet hoax about 10 almonds being the equivalent of an aspirin for treating a headache. It’s a reminder to be open-mindedly skeptical about information circulating wildly, and look into the real, evidence-based, science of things.

    • Sometimes, the science validates claims, and we’re excited to share that!
    • Sometimes, the science just shoots claims down, and it’s important to acknowledge when that happens too.

    On which note, about soaking…

    Short version: soaking can improve the absorption of some nutrients, but not much more than simply chewing thoroughly. See:

    Soaking does reduce certain “antinutrients” (compounds that block absorption of other nutrients), such as phytic acid. However, even a 24-hour soak reduces them only by about 5%:

    Determination of d-myo-inositol phosphates in “activated” raw almonds using anion-exchange chromatography coupled with tandem mass spectrometry

    If you don’t want to take 24-hours to get a 5% benefit, there’s good news! A 12-hour soak can result in 4% less phytic acid in chopped (but not whole) almonds:

    The Effect of Soaking Almonds and Hazelnuts on Phytate and Mineral Concentrations

    Lest that potentially underwhelming benefit leave a bitter taste in your mouth, one good thing about soaking almonds (if you don’t like bitter tastes, anyway) is that it will reduce their bitterness:

    Bitter taste, phytonutrients, and the consumer: a review

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