Why Some Friendships Last And Others Don’t

Friendships matter a lot, playing a significant role in our wellbeing, physical as well as mental. They bring additional meaning to our lives, help us cope with setbacks, and hopefully will be at our side through the highs and lows of life. And yet, for something that’s in principle good for everyone involved, there can be problems:

Friend to the end?

Firstly, some people find it harder to make (and then further deepen) friendships with others, which can be for a whole host of reasons.

Approaching new people can feel intimidating, but it’s a common struggle. Research shows that people often underestimate how much others enjoy their company, a phenomenon known as the “liking gap.” By reminding ourselves that others are likely to appreciate our presence and expecting to be well-received (the “acceptance prophecy”), we can approach social interactions with greater confidence.

As relationships grow, they often deepen through companionship and closeness:

• Companionship arises from shared hobbies, interests, or values, and it builds rapport.
• Closeness involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which can build intimacy together.

An important key to these is consistency, which—whether through regular chats, honoring plans, or showing support—helps strengthen bonds, even in long-distance friendships (something often considered a barrier to closeness).

Even the strongest friendships can face challenges, of course. Conflicts may arise from a lack of support during difficult moments, or worse, betrayal. Or it could all be a misunderstanding. These situations are best addressed through honest, non-judgmental conversations. Avoiding defensiveness or accusations, and instead focusing on sharing feelings and understanding the other person’s perspective, can turn these tough discussions into opportunities for growth and stronger connections.

For more on all of this, enjoy:

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How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

Take care!