Bridging The Generation Gap Over The Holidays

10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

Often seen as a time for family connection, this same holiday period is often experienced as a time of family tension. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

Hopefully this will be of benefit to readers of all ages, but we’re going to write with the largest age-group of our readership, which is people who are most likely to have Gen-Z grandkids.

why are we writing about this?

Not only are health and happiness closely linked, and not only is mental health also just health, but… In terms of the healthy longevity secrets of the “Blue Zones”, strong intergenerational connections are usually a feature.

First, the obvious:

Any holiday tensions, of course, don’t usually start with grandkids, and are more likely amongst the adults, but some points of friction can be the same:

  • Differences of opinion on political/social/economic issues
  • Difference of opinion on parenting/dating choices
  • Differences of opinion on life priorities

And yes, by the way, that includes even young teens (and perhaps younger) having opinions on these things—we are living in an information age, and this does mean a lot of information is a lot more accessible than it used to be, including for kids. Problems (at all ages) may occur when someone is only really exposed to views from within a certain “bias bubble”, but for better or worse, most people will have an opinion on most well-known things.

As a general rule of thumb, all of these differences of opinion can be shelved if (and only if) those involved seek to avoid conflict. And while age is no guarantee of maturity, often it’ll be the older person(s) in the strongest position to redirect things. So, have a stack of “safe” topics up your sleeve.

Bonus: you can also have non-conversational distractions up your sleeve! These may be kitchen-related, for example (time to produce something distracting, or if the nascent conflict was only between you and one other person, time to go check on something, thus removing yourself from the situation).

Next, about “family time” and technology

It can be tempting to try to have a “phones away” rule, but this will tend to only exacerbate a younger person’s withdrawal.

Better: ask (with a tone of cheerful curiosity, not accusation) about what captures their attention so. Ask about their favorite YouTubers or TikTokers or whatever it is that it is for them. Learn about that Subreddit.

Or maybe (more likely for Millennials) they were following what is going on in the world via social media, which takes on an intermediary role for the delivery of world news. Hopefully this won’t run into the differences of opinion that we mentioned up top, but it could also be a perfectly good avenue of conversation, and maybe there’s more common ground than you might expect.

Meanwhile, if you’re the older generation present, chances are your own social media use is more about the human element. That’s great, but watch out:

A common faux pas is taking pictures without asking, let alone posting them online without asking. For many people this may seem an odd thing to object to, but generationally speaking, the younger someone is (down to the upper single digits, anyway) the more likely they might feel strongly about this. So, ask first.

The reason, by the way, is that in this age of digital hypervisibility, what we choose to share online can be a deeply personal thing. And, say what you will about the pros or cons of someone carefully curating an image of how they wish to be seen, shortcutting through that for them with a candid photo posted on Facebook will not endear you to them, even if you can’t see anything wrong with the photo in question, for example.

See also: Make Social Media Work For Your Mental Health

Show an interest, but don’t interrogate

This one doesn’t take too much explanation. If people want to share about their lives, they’ll need only the smallest nudge to do so. If someone passes up an opportunity to talk about something you showed an interest in, chances are they have their own reasons for not wanting to talk about it. This might be hurtful if you feel like they’re keeping you out of their life, but the best way to get them to talk to you is just to be a good listener—not an interrogator that they have to dodge.

For some powerful tools on this, see: Listening, Better

Lastly, if things aren’t so good…

43% of people are currently experiencing some sort of familial estrangement, so if that’s you, you’re not on your own.

Sometimes, it really is too late to fix things, but sometimes it isn’t; we put together a guide that might help:

Family Estrangement & How To Fix It

Take care!

Don’t Forget…

Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

Recommended

  • Relationships: When To Stick It Out & When To Call It Quits
  • Can You Shrink A Waist In Seven Days?
    Trim your waistline in the new year with simple dietary tweaks and five core-strengthening exercises—lose inches, not just weight.

Learn to Age Gracefully

Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • Brown Rice vs Wild Rice – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing brown rice to wild rice, we picked the wild.

    Why?

    It’s close! But there are important distinctions.

    First let’s clarify: despite the name and appearance, wild rice is botanically quite different from rice per se; it’s not the same species, it’s not even the same genus, though it is the same umbrella family. In other words, they’re about as closely related as humans and gorillas are to each other.

    In terms of macros, wild rice has considerably more protein and a little more fiber, for slightly lower carbs.

    Notably, however, wild rice’s carbs are a close-to-even mix of sucrose, fructose, and glucose, while brown rice’s carbs are 99% starch. Given the carb to fiber ratio, it’s worth noting that wild rice also has lower net carbs, and the lower glycemic index.

    In the category of vitamins, wild rice leads with more of vitamins A, B2, B9, E, K, and choline. In contrast, brown rice has more of vitamins B1, B3, and B5. So, a moderate win for wild rice.

    When it comes to minerals, brown rice finally gets a tally in its favor, even if only slightly: brown rice has more magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, and selenium, while wild rice has more copper, potassium, and zinc. They’re equal in calcium and iron, by the way. Still, this category stands as a 4:3 win for brown rice.

    Adding up the categories makes a modest win for wild rice, and additionally, if we had to consider one of these things more important than the others, it’d be wild rice being higher in fiber and protein and lower in total carbs and net carbs.

    Still, enjoy either or both, per your preference!

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Take care!

    Share This Post

  • Human Connection In An All-Too-Busy World

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Many of us, in many ways, have more discretionary time than ever… On paper.

    But rather than the 8-hour block of work of yesteryear, nowadays the things that take our time often come in a series of short bursts that punctuate our day.

    This means that while in theory, we have n hours of “free” time per day, we actually have 9 minutes here, 23 minutes there, 1 hour 6 minutes somewhere else, and so on.

    Social commitments, meanwhile, tend to require not only that we have time in a block, but also, that the time around that block also be sufficiently free, for travelling, preparation, etc.

    The result? “We must do this again, and not leave it so long next time!” we say, sincerely, to the friend whom we will next see again in approximately 17 months’ time.

    The problem is how our many theoretically-small obligations reduce the rest of our time to “time confetti”, and that happens on the large scale like we saw above, as well as on the small scale of “Ah, I have an hour to relax between these two things” and then suddenly the time is gone, once again reduced to time confetti:

    Time Confetti and the Broken Promise of Leisure

    So, how to maintain human connection with people beyond those with whom we live?

    Some is infinitely better than none

    Let’s say you want to call a friend or relative. There may be generational differences in how much one is expected to arrange this by text first, vs just calling, but either way, you don’t have to have an open-ended block of time, and sometimes, it’s better if you don’t.

    Establish, at the start of the call, “Before we get into catching up, how are we for time, by the way? For my part, I’ll have to go by such-and-such a time”, and then work with that.

    The benefit of doing this is that you’ll both know enough about the time constraints to use the time appropriately; you won’t run out the clock on smalltalk before getting to something big, and you’ll both come away feeling satisfied that you shared and were shared-with in a meaningful fashion.

    In contrast, guessing at time constraints can leave big things clipped off, or else result in someone “looking for a way to politely end this conversation that stopped being interesting a while ago but it’ll seem rude if I say I have to go now”, of the kind that results in someone not being so open to a call next time.

    Don’t rush to dismiss texts as a medium for meaningful connection

    When text messages were first a thing, you’ll remember how we were all working within a very short character limit and a cost-per-message. It was telegrams for the modern age, basically.

    Nowadays, that isn’t so; we can write as much or as little as we like, and this has two benefits:

    1. We can have longer, meaningful conversations around the other stuff in our life. We can reply in seconds, or after making a cup of tea and thinking about it, or after our grocery-chopping trip, or whenever suits us. Suddenly, time confetti isn’t such a barrier to human connection. Writer’s example: my prime social time in this manner is when I’m cooking dinner (which is often about an hour). There’s no way I could have a phonecall while doing that; my bad hearing notwithstanding, I just have my hands full too often with much else going on. But texting? I can do that in the several-minute gaps between assorted culinary tasks, while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or the onions to brown or whatever.
    2. Sometimes, the brevity makes it easier. A quick text saying “Hey, just to let you know I’m thinking of you, and hope your day is going well!”, or “Unrelated to anything: I was just thinking about how I’m glad to have you in my life; you’re a good friend, and I appreciate that more than I often remember to say. Anyway, that’s all; it was just on my mind. I hope your day is going well!”

    (The cheery closing words in those last two text message examples help signify: “don’t worry, I’m fine and am not looking for anything from you”, which will help the recipient to relax, and counterintuitively, more likely to reply with some kind words of their own, knowing that they’re not signing up for a potentially deep talk when they also have time confetti issues going on)

    Seize the moment (and also let it go)

    You probably have many small interactions with strangers, most days. In the store, walking the dog, at the doctor’s office, etc. So, two things:

    1. Make smalltalk. And if you’re not one for traditional smalltalk topics (weather etc), or even if you are, a level-up is:
    2. Compliment sincerely. Straight out of “How To Win Friends And Influence People”, of course, but it creates a moment of genuine connection; you say a thing, their day is improved, they smile, you complete your business with a smile of your own and go about your day.

    (of course, do steer clear of anything that could be interpreted as flirting, if that is not your intent, and really it should never be your intent when it comes to the captive audience of someone who will get fired if they’re not nice to you)

    But, with a little practice, these little moments add up to a lot more human connection than if we treat the strangers with whom we interact as though they were merely part of the scenery.

    Want more than that?

    Check out:

    How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

    Take care!

    Share This Post

  • Apple vs Pear – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing apple to pear, we picked the pear.

    Why?

    Both are great! But there’s a category that puts pears ahead of apples…

    Looking at their macros first, pears contain more carbs but also more fiber. Both are low glycemic index foods, though.

    In the category of vitamins, things are moderately even: apples contain more of vitamins A, B1, B6, and E, while pears contain more of vitamins B3, B9, K, and choline. That’s a 4:4 split, and the two fruits are about equal in the other vitamins they both contain.

    When it comes to minerals, pears contain more calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc. A resounding victory for pears, as apples are not higher in any mineral.

    In short, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, a pear should keep the doctor away for about a day and a half, based on the extra nutrients ← this is slightly facetious as medicine doesn’t work like that, but you get the idea: pears simply have more to offer. Apples are still great though! Enjoy both! Diversity is good.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    From Apples To Bees, And High-Fructose Cs: Which Sugars Are Healthier, And Which Are Just The Same?

    Take care!

    Share This Post

Related Posts

  • Relationships: When To Stick It Out & When To Call It Quits
  • Strategic Wellness

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Strategic Wellness: planning ahead for a better life!

    This is Dr. Michael Roizen. With hundreds of peer-reviewed publications and 14 US patents, his work has been focused on the importance of lifestyle factors in healthy living. He’s the Chief Wellness Officer at the world-famous Cleveland Clinic, and is known for his “RealAge” test and related personalized healthcare services.

    If you’re curious about that, you can take the RealAge test here.

    (they will require you inputting your email address if you do, though)

    What’s his thing?

    Dr. Roizen is all about optimizing health through lifestyle factors—most notably, diet and exercise. Of those, he is particularly keen on optimizing nutritional habits.

    Is this just the Mediterranean Diet again?

    Nope! Although: he does also advocate for that. But there’s more, he makes the case for what he calls “circadian eating”, optimally timing what we eat and when.

    Is that just Intermittent Fasting again?

    Nope! Although: he does also advocate for that. But there’s more:

    Dr. Roizen takes a more scientific approach. Which isn’t to say that intermittent fasting is unscientific—on the contrary, there’s mountains of evidence for it being a healthful practice for most people. But while people tend to organize their intermittent fasting purely according to convenience, he notes some additional factors to take into account, including:

    • We are evolved to eat when the sun is up
    • We are evolved to be active before eating (think: hunting and gathering)
    • Our insulin resistance increases as the day goes on

    Now, if you’ve a quick mind about you, you’ll have noticed that this means:

    • We should keep our eating to a particular time window (classic intermittent fasting), and/but that time window should be while the sun is up
    • We should not roll out of bed and immediately breakfast; we need to be active for a bit first (moderate exercise is fine—this writer does her daily grocery-shopping trip on foot before breakfast, for instance… getting out there and hunting and gathering those groceries!)
    • We should not, however, eat too much later in the day (so, dinner should be the smallest meal of the day)

    The latter item is the one that’s perhaps biggest change for most people. His tips for making this as easy as possible include:

    • Over-cater for dinner, but eat only one portion of it, and save the rest for an early-afternoon lunch
    • First, however, enjoy a nutrient-dense protein-centric breakfast with at least some fibrous vegetation, for example:
      • Salmon and asparagus
      • Scrambled tofu and kale
      • Yogurt and blueberries

    Enjoy!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • Brussels Sprouts vs Spirulina – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing Brussels sprouts to spirulina, we picked the sprouts.

    Why?

    Pitting these two well-known superfoods against each other, we get the following:

    Looking at the macros first, spirulina has a little more protein, while sprouts have more carbs and nearly 10x the fiber. So, we call this a win for sprouts.

    In terms of vitamins, sprouts have a lot more of vitamins A, B6, B9, C, E, K, and choline, while spirulina has a little more of vitamins B1, B2, and B3. An easy win for sprouts.

    In the category of minerals, sprouts have more calcium, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while spirulina has more copper and iron. Another clear win for sprouts.

    Adding up the sections makes the winner very clear: Brussels sprouts enjoy a well-earned victory.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    A Deeper Dive Into Seaweed

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails:

  • Watermelon vs Cucumber – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing watermelon to cucumber, we picked the cucumber.

    Why?

    Both are good! But in the battle of the “this is mostly water” salad items, cucumber wins out.

    In terms of macros they both are, as we say, mostly water. However, watermelon contains more sugar for the same amount of fiber, contributing to cucumber having the lower glycemic index.

    When it comes to vitamins, watermelon does a little better; watermelon has more of vitamins A, B1, B3, B6, C, and E, while cucumber has more of vitamins B2, B5, B9, K, and choline. So, a modest 6:5 win for watermelon.

    In the category of minerals, it’s a different story; watermelon has more selenium, while cucumber has more calcium, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, and zinc.

    Both contain an array of polyphenols; mostly different ones from each other.

    As ever, enjoy both. However, adding up the sections, we say cucumber enjoys a marginal win here.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: