Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR)

What skeletons are in your closet? As life goes on, most of accumulate bad experiences as well as good ones, to a greater or lesser degree. From clear cases of classic PTSD, to the widely underexamined many-headed beast that is C-PTSD*, our past does affect our present. Is there, then, any chance for our future being different?

*PTSD is typically associated with military veterans, for example, or sexual assault survivors. There was a clear, indisputable, Bad Thing™ that was experienced, and it left a psychological scar. When something happens to remind us of that—say, there are fireworks, or somebody touches us a certain way—it’ll trigger an immediate strong response of some kind.

These days the word “triggered” has been popularly misappropriated to mean any adverse emotional reaction, often to something trivial.

But, not all trauma is so clear. If PTSD refers to the result of that one time you were smashed with a sledgehammer, C-PTSD (Complex PTSD) refers to the result of having been hit with a rolled-up newspaper every few days for fifteen years, say.

This might have been…

• childhood emotional neglect
• a parent with a hair-trigger temper
• bullying at school
• extended financial hardship as a young adult
• “just” being told or shown all too often that your best was never good enough
• the persistent threat (real or imagined) of doom of some kind
• the often-reinforced idea that you might lose everything at any moment

If you’re reading this list and thinking “that’s just life though”, you might be in the estimated 1 in 5 people with (often undiagnosed) C-PTSD.

For more on C-PTSD, see our previous main feature:

PTSD, But, Well…. Complex

So, what does eye movement have to do with this?

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic technique whereby a traumatic experience (however small or large; it could be the memory of that one time you said something very regrettable, or it could be some horror we couldn’t describe here) is recalled, and then “detoothed” by doing a bit of neurological jiggery-pokery.

How the neurological jiggery-pokery works:

By engaging the brain in what’s called bilateral stimulation (which can be achieved in various ways, but a common one is moving the eyes rapidly from side to side, hence the name), the event can be re-processed, in much the same way that we do when dreaming, and relegated safely to the past.

This doesn’t mean you’ll forget the event; you’d need to do different exercises for that.

See also our previous main feature:

The Dark Side Of Memory (And How To Make Your Life Better)

That’s not the only aspect of EMDR, though…

EMDR is not just about recalling traumatic events while moving your eyes from side-to-side. What an easy fix that would be! There’s a little more to it.

The process also involves (ideally with the help of a trained professional) examining what other memories, thoughts, feelings, come to mind while doing that. Sometimes, a response we have today associated with, for example, a feeling of helplessness, or rage in conflict, or shame, or anything really, can be connected to previous instances of feeling the same thing. And, each of those events will reinforce—and be reinforced by—the others.

An example of this could be an adult who struggles with substance abuse (perhaps alcohol, say), using it as a crutch to avoid feelings of [insert static here; we don’t know what the feelings are because they’re being avoided], that were first created by, and gradually snowballed from, some adverse reaction to something they did long ago as a child, then reinforced at various times later in life, until finally this adult doesn’t know what to do, but they do know they must hide it at all costs, or suffer the adverse reaction again. Which obviously isn’t a way to actually overcome anything.

EMDR, therefore, seeks to not just “detooth” a singular traumatic memory, but rather, render harmless the whole thread of memories.

Needless to say, this kind of therapy can be quite an emotionally taxing experience, so again, we recommend trying it only under the guidance of a professional.

Is this an evidence-based approach?

Yes! It’s not without its controversy, but that’s how it is in the dog-eat-dog world of academia in general and perhaps psychotherapy in particular. To give a note to some of why it has some controversy, here’s a great freely-available paper that presents “both sides” (it’s more than two sides, really); the premises and claims, the criticisms, and explanations for why the criticisms aren’t necessarily actually problems—all by a wide variety of independent research teams:

Research on Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) as a Treatment for PTSD

To give an idea of the breadth of applications for EMDR, and the evidence of the effectiveness of same, here are a few additional studies/reviews (there are many):

• An Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Group Intervention for Syrian Refugees With Post-traumatic Stress Symptoms: Results of a Randomized Controlled Trial
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing for Treating Panic Disorder: A Randomized Controlled Trial
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy in the treatment of depression: a matched pairs study in an inpatient setting
• Emergency room intervention to prevent post concussion-like symptoms and post-traumatic stress disorder. A pilot randomized controlled study of a brief eye movement desensitization and reprocessing intervention versus reassurance or usual care

As for what the American Psychiatric Association says about it:

❝After assessing the 120 outcome studies pertaining to the focus areas, we conclude that for two of the areas (i.e., PTSD in children and adolescents and EMDR early interventions research) the strength of the evidence is rated at the highest level, whereas the other areas obtain the second highest level.❞

Source: The current status of EMDR therapy, specific target areas, and goals for the future

Want to learn more?

To learn a lot more than we could include here, check out the APA’s treatment guidelines (they are written in a fashion that is very accessible to a layperson):

APA | Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy

Take care!

What this is not going to be: a sour grapes thing.

What this is going to be: an exploration of how the grass is greener on the other side of the fence wherever you water it

It’s easy to feel lonely and isolated, even in today’s increasingly-connected world. We’ve tackled that topic before:

How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

One of the more passive (but still reasonable) ways of reducing isolation is to simply say “yes” more, which we discussed (along with other more active strategies) here:

When The World Moves Without Us… Can We Side-Step Age-Related Alienation?

But, is there any benefit to be gained from not being in the thick of things?

Sometimes some things associated with isolation are not, in reality, necessarily isolating. See for example:

Singledom & Healthy Longevity

But, the implications of embracing the “joy of missing out” are much more wide-reaching:

Wherever you are, there you are

You’ve probably read before the phrase “wherever you go, there you are”, but this phrasing brings attention to the fact that you already are where you are.

There are quite possibly aspects of your current life/situation that are not ideal, but take a moment to appreciate where you are in life. At the very least, you are probably in a safe warm dry house with plenty of food available; chances are you have plenty of luxuries too.

See also: How To Get Your Brain On A More Positive Track (Without Toxic Positivity)

And yet, it’s easy to have a fear of missing out. Even billionaires fear they do not have enough and must acquire more in order to be truly secure and fulfilled.

As it goes for material wealth, so it also goes for social wealth—in other words, we may worry about such questions as: on whom can we rely, and who will be there for us if we need them? Do we, ultimately, have enough social capital to be secure?

• For social media influencers, it’ll be follower counts and engagement.
• For the family-oriented, it might be the question of whose house a given holiday gets celebrated at, and who attends, and who does it best.
• In more somber matters, think about funerals, and those where “there was such a huge turnout” vs “almost nobody attended”.

It sure sounds a lot like a dog-eat-dog world in which missing out sucks! But it doesn’t have to.

So let’s recap: your current situation is probably, all things considered, not bad. There is probably much in life to enjoy. If people do not come to your holiday event, then those are not people who would have improved things for you. If people do not attend your funeral even, then well, you yourself will be late, so hey.

Right now though, you are alive, so…

Enjoy the moment; enjoy your life for you.

Invest in yourself. Better yourself. Improve your environment for yourself little by little.

We spend a lot of time in life living up to everyone’s expectations, often without stopping to question whether it is what we want, or sometimes putting aside what we want in favor of what is wanted of us.

• Sometimes, such ostensible altruism is laudable and good (the point of today’s article is not “be a selfish jerk”; sometimes we should indeed shelve our self-interest in favour of doing something for the common good)
• Sometimes, it’s just pointless sacrifice that benefits nobody (the point of today’s article is “there is no point in playing stressful, stacked games when you could have a better time not doing that”)

If you are about to embark on an endeavor that you don’t really want to, take a moment to seriously consider which of the above two situations this is, and then act accordingly.

For a deeper dive into that, you might like this book that we reviewed a while back:

The Joy of Saying No – by Natalie Lue

Enjoy!