Never Too Late To Start Over: Finding Purpose At Any Age

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Dana Findwell’s late 50s were not an easy time, but upon now hitting 60 (this week, at time of writing), she’s enthusiastically throwing herself into the things that bring her purpose, and so can you.

Start where you are

Findwell was already no stranger to starting again, having been married and divorced twice, and having moved frequently, requiring constant “life resets”.

Nevertheless, she always had her work to fall back on; she was a graphic designer and art director for 30 years… Until burnout struck.

And when burnout struck, so did COVID, resulting in the loss of her job. Her job wasn’t the only thing she lost though, as her mother died around the same time. All in all, it was a lot, and not the fun kind of “a lot”.

Struggling to find a new career direction, she ended up starting a small business for herself, so that she could direct the pace; pressing forwards as and when she had the energy. This became her new “ikigai“, the main thing that brings a sense of purpose to her life, but getting one part of her life back into order brought her attention to the rest; she realized she’d neglected her health, so she joined a gym. And a weightlifting class. And a hip-hop class. And she took up the practice of Japanese drumming (for the unfamiliar, this can be a rather athletic ability; it’s not a matter of sitting at a drum kit).

And now? Her future is still not clear, but that’s ok, because she’s making it as she goes, and she’s doing it her way, trusting in her ability to handle what may come up, and doing the things now that future-her will be glad of having done (e.g. laying the groundwork of both financial security and good health).

Change can sometimes be triggered by adverse circumstances, but there’s always the opportunity to find something better. For more on all of this, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like to read:

Our Resources About Ikigai

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  • Sometimes, Perfect Isn’t Practical!

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    It’s Q&A Day at 10almonds!

    Have a question or a request? We love to hear from you!

    In cases where we’ve already covered something, we might link to what we wrote before, but will always be happy to revisit any of our topics again in the future too—there’s always more to say!

    As ever: if the question/request can be answered briefly, we’ll do it here in our Q&A Thursday edition. If not, we’ll make a main feature of it shortly afterwards!

    So, no question/request too big or small

    ❝10 AM breakfast is not realistic for most. What’s wrong with 8 AM and Evening me at 6. Don’t quite understand the differentiation.❞

    (for reference, this is about our “Breakfasting For Health?” main feature)

    It’s not terrible to do it the way you suggest It’s just not optimal, either, that’s all!

    Breakfasting at 08:00 and then dining at 18:00 is ten hours apart, so no fasting benefits between those. Let’s say you take half an hour to eat dinner, then eat nothing again until breakfast, that’s 18:30 to 08:00, so that’s 13½ hours fasting. You’ll recall that fasting benefits start at 12 hours into the fast, so that means you’d only get 1½ hours of fasting benefits.

    As for breakfasting at 08:00 regardless of intermittent fasting considerations, the reason for the conclusion of around 10:00 being optimal, is based on when our body is geared up to eat breakfast and get the most out of that, which the body can’t do immediately upon waking. So if you wake and get sunlight at 08:30, get a little moderate exercise, then by 10:00 your digestive system will be perfectly primed to get the most out of breakfast.

    However! This is entirely based on you waking and getting sunlight at 08:30.

    So, iff you wake and get sunlight at 06:30, then in that case, breakfasting at 08:00 would give the same benefits as described above. What’s important is the 1½ hour priming-time.

    Writer’s note: our hope here is always to be informational, not prescriptive. Take what works for you; ignore what doesn’t fit your lifestyle.

    I personally practice intermittent fasting for about 21hrs/day. I breakfast (often on nuts and perhaps a little salad) around 16:00, and dine at around 18:00ish, giving myself a little wiggleroom. I’m not religious about it and will slide it if necessary.

    As you can see: that makes what is nominally my breakfast practically a pre-dinner snack, and I clearly ignore the “best to eat in the morning” rule because that’s not consistent with my desire to have a family dinner together in the evening while still practicing the level of fasting that I prefer.

    Science is science, and that’s what we report here. How we apply it, however, is up to us all as individuals!

    Enjoy!

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  • Top 10 Unhealthy Foods: How Many Do You Eat?

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    The items on this list won’t come as a shocking surprise to you, but it can be a good opportunity to do a quick tally and see how many of these have snuck into your diet:

    The things that take away health instead of adding it

    Without further ado, they are…

    • Alcohol: not only is it high in empty calories, but also it’s bad for pretty much everything, especially increasing the risks of liver disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.
    • Processed snacks: low in nutrition; contain unhealthy fats, refined sugars, and artificial additives that often aren’t great.
    • Potato chips: get their own category for being especially high in fat, sodium, and empty calories; contribute to heart disease and weight gain.
    • Processed cheese: some kinds of cheese are gut-healthy in moderation, but this isn’t. Instead, it’s just loaded with saturated fats, sodium, and sugars, and is pretty much heart disease in a slice.
    • Donuts: deep-fried, sugary, and made with refined flour; cause blood sugar spikes and crashes, and what’s bad for your blood sugars is bad for almost everything else.
    • French fries & similar deep-fried foods: high in saturated fats and sodium; contribute to obesity and heart issues, are not great for blood sugars either.
    • White bread: made with refined flour; cause blood sugar spikes and metabolic woes.
    • Sodas: high in sugar or artificial sweeteners; can easily lead to weight gain, diabetes, and tooth decay.
    • Processed meats: high in calories and salt; strongly associated with heart disease and cancer.
    • Hot dogs & fast food burgers: get their own category for being the absolute worst of the above-mentioned processed meats.

    This writer scored: no / rarely / no / no / no / rarely / rarely / rarely / no / no

    How about you?

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    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Beat Food Addictions!

    Take care!

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  • The Not-So-Sweet Science Of Sugar Addiction

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    One Lump Mechanism Of Addiction Or Two?

    In Tuesday’s newsletter, we asked you to what extent, if any, you believe sugar is addictive; we got the above-depicted, below-described, set of responses:

    • About 47% said “Sugar is chemically addictive, comparable to alcohol”
    • About 34% said “Sugar is chemically addictive, comparable to cocaine”
    • About 11% said “Sugar is not addictive; that’s just excuse-finding hyperbole”
    • About 9% said “Sugar is a behavioral addiction, comparable to video gaming”

    So what does the science say?

    Sugar is not addictive; that’s just excuse-finding hyperbole: True or False?

    False, by broad scientific consensus. As ever, the devil’s in the details definitions, but while there is still discussion about how best to categorize the addiction, the scientific consensus as a whole is generally: sugar is addictive.

    That doesn’t mean scientists* are a hive mind, and so there will be some who disagree, but most papers these days are looking into the “hows” and “whys” and “whats” of sugar addiction, not the “whether”.

    *who are also, let us remember, a diverse group including chemists, neurobiologists, psychologists, social psychologists, and others, often collaborating in multidisciplinary teams, each with their own focus of research.

    Here’s what the Center of Alcohol and Substance Use Studies has to say, for example:

    Sugar Addiction: More Serious Than You Think

    Sugar is a chemical addiction, comparable to alcohol: True or False?

    True, broadly, with caveats—for this one, the crux lies in “comparable to”, because the neurology of the addiction is similar, even if many aspects of it chemically are not.

    In both cases, sugar triggers the release of dopamine while also (albeit for different chemical reasons) having a “downer” effect (sugar triggers the release of opioids as well as dopamine).

    Notably, the sociology and psychology of alcohol and sugar addictions are also similar (both addictions are common throughout different socioeconomic strata as a coping mechanism seeking an escape from emotional pain).

    See for example in the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs:

    Sweet Preference, Sugar Addiction and the Familial History of Alcohol Dependence: Shared Neural Pathways and Genes

    On the other hand, withdrawal symptoms from heavy long-term alcohol abuse can kill, while withdrawal symptoms from sugar are very much milder. So there’s also room to argue that they’re not comparable on those grounds.

    Sugar is a chemical addiction, comparable to cocaine: True or False?

    False, broadly. There are overlaps! For example, sugar drives impulsivity to seek more of the substance, and leads to changes in neurobiological brain function which alter emotional states and subsequent behaviours:

    The impact of sugar consumption on stress driven, emotional and addictive behaviors

    However!

    Cocaine triggers a release of dopamine (as does sugar), but cocaine also acts directly on our brain’s ability to remove dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine:

    The Neurobiology of Cocaine Addiction

    …meaning that in terms of comparability, they (to use a metaphor now, not meaning this literally) both give you a warm feeling, but sugar does it by turning up the heating a bit whereas cocaine does it by locking the doors and burning down the house. That’s quite a difference!

    Sugar is a behavioral addiction, comparable to video gaming: True or False?

    True, with the caveat that this a “yes and” situation.

    There are behavioral aspects of sugar addiction that can reasonably be compared to those of video gaming, e.g. compulsion loops, always the promise of more (without limiting factors such as overdosing), anxiety when the addictive element is not accessible for some reason, reduction of dopaminergic sensitivity leading to a craving for more, etc. Note that the last is mentioning a chemical but the mechanism itself is still behavioral, not chemical per se.

    So, yes, it’s a behavioral addiction [and also arguably chemical in the manners we’ve described earlier in this article].

    For science for this, we refer you back to:

    The impact of sugar consumption on stress driven, emotional and addictive behaviors

    Want more?

    You might want to check out:

    Beating Food Addictions: When It’s More Than “Just” Cravings

    Take care!

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  • Loaded Mocha Chocolate Parfait

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Packed with nutrients, including a healthy dose of protein and fiber, these parfait pots can be a healthy dessert, snack, or even breakfast!

    You will need (for 4 servings)

    For the mocha cream:

    • ½ cup almond milk
    • ½ cup raw cashews
    • ⅓ cup espresso
    • 2 tbsp maple syrup
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract

    For the chocolate sauce:

    • 4 tbsp coconut oil, melted
    • 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
    • 1 tbsp maple syrup
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract

    For the other layers:

    • 1 banana, sliced
    • 1 cup granola, no added sugar

    Garnish (optional): 3 coffee beans per serving

    Note about the maple syrup: since its viscosity is similar to the overall viscosity of the mocha cream and chocolate sauce, you can adjust this per your tastes, without affecting the composition of the dish much besides sweetness (and sugar content). If you don’t like sweetness, the maple syrup be reduced or even omitted entirely (your writer here is known for her enjoyment of very strong bitter flavors and rarely wants anything sweeter than a banana); if you prefer more sweetness than the recipe called for, that’s your choice too.

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Blend all the mocha cream ingredients. If you have time, doing this in advance and keeping it in the fridge for a few hours (or even up to a week) will make the flavor richer. But if you don’t have time, that’s fine too.

    2) Stir all the chocolate sauce ingredients together in a small bowl, and set it aside. This one should definitely not be refrigerated, or else the coconut oil will solidify and separate itself.

    3) Gently swirl the the mocha cream and chocolate sauce together. You want a marble effect, not a full mixing. Omit this step if you want clearer layers.

    4) Assemble in dessert glasses, alternating layers of banana, mocha chocolate marble mixture (or the two parts, if you didn’t swirl them together), and granola.

    5) Add the coffee-bean garnish, if using, and serve!

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

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  • Stretching to Stay Young – by Jessica Matthews

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    A lot of stretching gurus (especially the Instagrammable kind) offer advices like “if you can’t do the splits balanced between two chairs to start with, that’s fine… just practise by doing the splits against a wall first!”

    Jessica Matthews, meanwhile, takes a more grounded approach. A lot of this is less like yoga and more like physiotherapy—it’s uncomplicated and functional. There’s nothing flashy here… just the promise of being able to thrive in your body; supple and comfortable, doing the activities that matter to you.

    On which note: the book gives advices about stretches for before and after common activities, for example:

    • a bedtime routine set
    • a pre-gardening set
    • a post-phonecall set
    • a level-up-your golf set
    • a get ready for dancing set

    …and many more. Whether “your thing” is cross-country skiing or knitting, she’s got you covered.

    The book covers the whole body from head to toe. Whether you want to be sure to stretch everything, or just work on a particular part of your body that needs special attention, it’s there… with beautifully clear illustrations (the front cover illustration is indicative of the style—note how the muscle being stretched is highlighted in orange, too) and simple, easy-to-understand instructions.

    All in all, we’re none of us getting any younger, but we sure can take some of our youth into whatever years come next. This is the stuff that life is made of!

    Get your copy of “Stretching To Stay Young” from Amazon today!

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  • What Grief Does To Your Body (And How To Manage It)

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    What Grief Does To The Body (And How To Manage It)

    In life, we will almost all lose loved ones and suffer bereavement. For most people, this starts with grandparents, eventually moves to parents, and then people our own generation; partners, siblings, close friends. And of course, sometimes and perhaps most devastatingly, we can lose people younger than ourselves.

    For something that almost everyone suffers, there is often very little in the way of preparation given beforehand, and afterwards, a condolences card is nice but can’t do a lot for our mental health.

    And with mental health, our physical health can go too, if we very understandably neglect it at such a time.

    So, how to survive devastating loss, and come out the other side, hopefully thriving? It seems like a tall order indeed.

    First, the foundations:

    You’re probably familiar with the stages of grief. In their most commonly-presented form, they are:

    1. Denial
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

    You’ve probably also heard/read that we won’t always go through them in order, and also that grief is deeply personal and proceeds on its own timescale.

    It is generally considered healthy to go through them.

    What do they look like?

    Naturally this can vary a lot from person to person, but examples in the case of bereavement could be:

    1. Denial: “This surely has not really happened; I’ll carry on as though it hasn’t”
    2. Anger: “Why didn’t I do xyz differently while I had the chance?!”
    3. Bargaining: “I will do such-and-such in their honor, and this will be a way of expressing the love I wish I could give them in a way they could receive”
    4. Depression: “What is the point of me without them? The sooner I join them, the better.”
    5. Acceptance: “I was so lucky that we had the time together that we did, and enriched each other’s lives while we could”

    We can speedrun these or we can get stuck on one for years. We can bounce back and forth. We can think we’re at acceptance, and then a previous stage will hit us like a tonne of bricks.

    What if we don’t?

    Assuming that our lost loved one was indeed a loved one (as opposed to someone we are merely societally expected to mourn), then failing to process that grief will tend to have a big impact on our life—and health. These health problems can include:

    As you can see, three out of five of those can result in death. The other two aren’t great either. So why isn’t this taken more seriously as a matter of health?

    Death is, ironically, considered something we “just have to live with”.

    But how?

    Coping strategies

    You’ll note that most of the stages of grief are not enjoyable per se. For this reason, it’s common to try to avoid them—hence denial usually being first.

    But, that is like not getting a lump checked out because you don’t want a cancer diagnosis. The emotional reasoning is understandable, but it’s ultimately self-destructive.

    First, have a plan. If a death is foreseen, you can even work out this plan together.

    But even if that time has now passed, it’s “better late than never” to make a plan for looking after yourself, e.g:

    • How you will try to get enough sleep (tricky, but sincerely try)
    • How you will remember to eat (and ideally, healthily)
    • How you will still get exercise (a walk in the park is fine; see some greenery and get some sunlight)
    • How you will avoid self-destructive urges (from indirect, e.g. drinking, to direct, e.g. suicidality)
    • How you will keep up with the other things important in your life (work, friends, family)
    • How you will actively work to process your grief (e.g. journaling, or perhaps grief counselling)

    Some previous articles of ours that may help:

    If it works, it works

    If we are all unique, then any relationship between any two people is uniqueness squared. Little wonder, then, that our grief may be unique too. And it can be complicated further:

    • Sometimes we had a complicated relationship with someone
    • Sometimes the circumstances of their death were complicated

    There is, for that matter, such a thing as “complicated grief”:

    Read more: Complicated grief and prolonged grief disorder (Medical News Today)

    We also previously reviewed a book on “ambiguous loss”, exploring grieving when we cannot grieve in the normal way because someone is gone and/but/maybe not gone.

    For example, if someone is in a long-term coma from which they may never recover, or if they are missing-presumed-dead. Those kinds of situations are complicated too.

    Unusual circumstances may call for unusual coping strategies, so how can we discern what is healthy and what isn’t?

    The litmus test is: is it enabling you to continue going about your life in a way that allows you to fulfil your internal personal aspirations and external social responsibilities? If so, it’s probably healthy.

    Look after yourself. And if you can, tell your loved ones you love them today.

    Don’t Forget…

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    Learn to Age Gracefully

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