Come Together – by Dr. Emily Nagoski

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From Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the bestseller “Come As You Are” (which we reviewed very favorably before) we now present: Come Together.

What it is not about: simultaneous orgasms. The title is just a play on words.

What it is about: improving sexual wellbeing, particularly in long-term relationships where one or more partner(s) may be experiencing low desire.

Hence: come together, in the closeness sense.

A lot of books (or advice articles) out there take the Cosmo approach of “spicing things up”, and that can help for a night perhaps, but relying on novelty is not a sustainable approach.

Instead, what Dr. Nagoski outlines here is a method for focusing on shared comfort and pleasure over desire, creating the right state of mind that’s more conducive to sexuality, and reducing things that put the brakes on sexuality.

She also covers things whereby sexuality can often be obliged to change (for example, with age and/or disability), but that with the right attitude, change can sometimes just be growth in a different way, as you explore the new circumstances together, and continue to find shared pleasure in the ways that best suit your changing circumstances,

Bottom line: if you and/or your partner(s) would like to foster and maintain intimacy and pleasure, then this is a top-tier book for you.

Click here to check out Come Together, and, well, come together!

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    When adult children face crises, learn how to support without smothering and empower them to navigate challenges while preserving your well-being.

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  • Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan – by Dr. Mark Williams & Dr. Danny Penman

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    The authors, with their PhDs in psychology and biochemistry, respectively, bring the science that you might expect (and some that you might not!) to this book about mindfulness meditation and mindfulness in everyday life.

    The book’s realism comes not just from studies, though, but also from a realistic perspective on modern life, in which many of us have sufficient responsibilities to afford us only limited downtime, and we certainly cannot all take time off for a mountaintop retreat.

    What we can do, however, is enjoy this eight-week program for finding peace in a frantic world, while still going about our necessary business in that frantic world on a daily basis.

    The eight weeks go as follows:

    1. Waking up to the autopilot
    2. Keeping the body in mind
    3. The mouse in the maze
    4. Moving beyond the rumor mill
    5. Turning toward difficulties
    6. Trapped in the past or living in the present?
    7. When did you stop dancing?
    8. Your wild and precious life

    …with meditations, as well as reframes and other tools, for each.

    The style is very easy-reading, with neither scientific jargon nor spiritual arcana, just clear explanations, instructions, and guidance.

    Bottom line: if you’re the sort of person who tries to take each day as it comes, but sometimes several days gang up on you at once, then this book can help get things into order.

    Click here to check out Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, and indeed find peace in a frantic world!

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  • Saunas: Health Benefits (& Caveats)

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    The Heat Is On

    In Tuesday’s newsletter, we asked you your (health-related) opinion on saunas, and got the above-depicted, below-described, set of responses:

    • About 53% said it is “a healthful activity with many benefits”
    • About 25% said it is “best avoided; I feel like I’m dying in there”
    • About 12% said “it feels good and therefore can’t be all bad”

    So what does the science say?

    The heat of saunas carries a health risk: True or False?

    False, generally speaking, for any practical purposes. Of course, anything in life comes with a health risk, but statistically speaking, your shower at home is a lot more dangerous than a sauna (risk of slipping with no help at hand).

    It took a bit of effort to find a paper on the health risks of saunas, because all the papers on PubMed etc coming up for those keywords were initially papers with “reduces the risk of…”, i.e. ways in which the sauna is healthy.

    However, we did find one:

    ❝Contraindications to sauna bathing include unstable angina pectoris, recent myocardial infarction, and severe aortic stenosis.

    Sauna bathing is safe, however, for most people with coronary heart disease with stable angina pectoris or old myocardial infarction.

    Very few acute myocardial infarctions and sudden deaths occur in saunas, but alcohol consumption during sauna bathing increases the risk of hypotension, arrhythmia, and sudden death, and should be avoided. ❞

    ~ Dr. Matti Hannuksela & Dr. Samer Ellahham

    Source: Benefits and risks of sauna bathing

    So, very safe for most people, safe even for most people with heart disease, but there are exceptions so check with your own doctor of course.

    And drinking alcohol anywhere is bad for the health, but in a sauna it’s a truly terrible idea. As an aside, please don’t drink alcohol in the shower, either (risk of slipping with no help at hand, and this time, broken glass too).

    On the topic of it being safe for most people’s hearts, see also:

    Beneficial effects of sauna bathing for heart failure patients

    As an additional note, those who have a particular sensitivity to the heat, may (again please check with your own doctor, as your case may vary) actually benefit from moderate sauna use, to reduce the cardiovascular strain that your body experiences during heatwaves (remember, you can get out of a sauna more easily than you can get out of a heatwave, so for many people it’s a lot easier to do moderation and improve thermoregulatory responses):

    Passive heat therapy: a promising preventive measure for people at risk of adverse health outcomes during heat extremes

    Sauna usage can bring many health benefits: True or False?

    True! Again, at least for most people. As well as the above-discussed items, here’s one for mortality rates in healthy Finnish men:

    Sauna bathing and mortality risk: unraveling the interaction with systolic blood pressure in a cohort of Finnish men

    Not only that, also…

    ❝The Finnish saunas have the most consistent and robust evidence regarding health benefits and they have been shown to decrease the risk of health outcomes such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, thromboembolism, dementia, and respiratory conditions; may improve the severity of musculoskeletal disorders, COVID-19, headache and flu, while also improving mental well-being, sleep, and longevity.

    Finnish saunas may also augment the beneficial effects of other protective lifestyle factors such as physical activity.

    The beneficial effects of passive heat therapies may be linked to their anti-inflammatory, cytoprotective and anti-oxidant properties and synergistic effects on neuroendocrine, circulatory, cardiovascular and immune function.

    Passive heat therapies, notably Finnish saunas, are emerging as potentially powerful and holistic strategies to promoting health and extending the healthspan in all populations. ❞

    ~ Dr. Jari Laukkanen & Dr. Setor Kunutsor

    Source: The multifaceted benefits of passive heat therapies for extending the healthspan: A comprehensive review with a focus on Finnish sauna

    (the repeated clarification of “Finnish sauna” is not a matter of fervent nationalism, by the way, but rather a matter of disambiguating it from Swedish sauna, which has some differences, most notably a lack of steam)

    That reminds us: in Scandinavia, it is usual to use a sauna naked, and in Finland in particular, it is a common social activity amongst friends, coworkers, etc. In the US, many people are not so comfortable with nudity, and indeed, many places that provide saunas, may require the wearing of swimwear. But…

    Just one problem: if you’re wearing swimwear because you’ve just been swimming in a pool, you now have chlorinated water soaked into your swimwear, which in the sauna, will become steam + chlorine gas. That’s not so good for your health (and is one reason, beyond tradition and simple normalization, for why swimwear is usually not permitted in Finnish saunas).

    Want to read more?

    You might like our previous main feature,

    Turning Up The Heat Against Diabetes & Alzheimer’s ← you guessed it, sauna may be beneficial against these too

    Take care!

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  • Resistance Is Useful! (Especially As We Get Older)

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    Resistance Is Useful!

    At 10almonds we talk a lot about the importance of regular moderate exercise (e.g. walking, gardening, housework, etc), and with good reason: getting in those minutes (at least 150 minutes per week, so, a little over 20 minutes per day, or 25 minutes per day with one day off) is the exericise most consistently linked to better general health outcomes and reduced mortality risk.

    We also often come back to mobility, because at the end of the day, being able to reach for something from a kitchen cabinet without doing oneself an injury is generally more important in life than being able to leg-press a car.

    Today though, we’re going to talk about resistance training.

    What is resistance training?

    It can be weight-lifting, or it can be bodyweight exercises. In those cases, what you’re resisting is gravity. It can also be exercises with resistance bands or machines. In all cases, it’s about building and/or maintaining strength.

    Why does it matter?

    Let’s say you’re not an athlete, soldier, or laborer, and the heaviest thing you have to pick up is a bag of groceries. Strength still matters, for two main reasons:

    • Muscle strength correlates to bone strength. You can’t build (or maintain) strong muscles on weak bones, so if you take care of your muscles, then your body will keep your bones strong too.
      • That’s assuming you have a good diet as well—but today’s not about that. If you’d like to know more about eating for bone health though, do check out this previous article about that!
    • Muscle strength correlates to balance and stability. You can’t keep yourself from falling over if you are physically frail.

    Both of those things matter, because falls and fractures often have terrible health outcomes (e.g., slower recovery and more complications) the older we get. So, we want to:

    • Ideally, not fall in the first place
    • If we do fall, have robust bones

    See also: Effects of Resistance Exercise on Bone Health

    How much should we do?

    Let’s go to the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research on this one:

    ❝There is strong evidence to support the benefits of resistance exercise for countering many age-related processes of sarcopenia, muscle weakness, mobility loss, chronic disease, disability, and even premature mortality.

    In addition, this Position Statement provides specific evidence-based practice recommendations to aid in the implementation of resistance exercise programs for healthy older adults and those with special considerations.

    While there are instances where low-intensity, low-volume programs are appropriate (i.e., beginning programs for individuals with frailty or CVDs), the greatest benefits are possible with progression to moderate to higher intensity programs.❞

    ~ Fragala et al

    Read the statement in full:

    Resistance Training for Older Adults: Position Statement From the National Strength and Conditioning Association

    There’s a lot of science there and it’s well worth reading if you have the time. It’s particularly good at delineating how much is not enough vs how much is too much, and the extent to which we should (or shouldn’t) train to exhaustion.

    If you don’t fancy that, though, and/or just want to start with something accessible and work your way up, the below is a very good (and also evidence-based) start-up plan:

    Healthline’s Exercise Plan For Seniors—For Strength, Balance, & Flexibility

    (it has a weekly planner, step-by-step guides to the exercises, and very clear illustrative animations of each)

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Related Posts

  • Why Diets Make Us Fat – by Dr. Sandra Aamodt
  • Twenty-One, No Wait, Twenty Tweaks For Better Health

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Dr. Greger’s 21 Tweaks… We say 20, though!

    We’ve talked before about Dr. Greger’s Daily Dozen (12 things he advises that we make sure to eat each day, to enjoy healthy longevity), but much less-talked-about are his “21 Tweaks”…

    They are, in short, a collection of little adjustments one can make for better health. Some of them are also nutritional, but many are more like lifestyle tweaks. Let’s do a rundown:

    At each meal:

    • Preload with water
    • Preload with “negative calorie” foods (especially: greens)
    • Incorporate vinegar (1-2 tbsp in a glass of water will slow your blood sugar increase)
    • Enjoy undistracted meals
    • Follow the 20-minute rule (enjoy your meal over the course of at least 20 minutes)

    Get your daily doses:

    • Black cumin ¼ tsp
    • Garlic powder ¼ tsp
    • Ground ginger (1 tsp) or cayenne pepper (½ tsp)
    • Nutritional yeast (2 tsp)
    • Cumin (½ tsp)
    • Green tea (3 cups)

    Every day:

    • Stay hydrated
    • Deflour your diet
    • Front-load your calories (this means implementing the “king, prince, pauper” rule—try to make your breakfast the largest meal of your day, followed my a medium lunch, and a small evening meal)
    • Time-restrict your eating (eat your meals within, for example, an 8-hour window, and fast the rest of the time)
    • Optimize exercise timing (before breakfast is best for most people, unless you are diabetic)
    • Weigh yourself twice a day (doing this when you get up and when you go to bed results in much better long-term weight management than weighing only once per day)
    • Complete your implementation intentions (this sounds a little wishy-washy, but it’s about building a set of “if this, then that” principles, and then living by them. An example could be directly physical health-related such as “if there is a choice of stairs or elevator, I will take the stairs”, or could be more about holistic good-living, such as “if someone asks me for help, I will try to oblige them so far as I reasonably can”)

    Every night:

    • Fast after 7pm
    • Get sufficient sleep (7–9 hours is best. As we get older, we tend more towards the lower end of that, but try get at least those 7 hours!)
    • Experiment with Mild Trendelenburg (better yet, skip this one)*

    *This involves a 6º elevation of the bed, at the foot end. Dr. Greger advises that this should only be undertaken after consulting your doctor, though, as a lot of health conditions can contraindicate it. We at 10almonds couldn’t find any evidence to support this practice, and numerous warnings against it, so we’re going to go ahead and say we think this one’s skippable.

    Again, we do try to bring you the best evidence-based stuff here at 10almonds, and we’re not going to recommend something just because of who suggested it

    As for the rest, you don’t have to do them all! And you may have noticed there was a little overlap in some of them. But, we consider them a fine menu of healthy life hacks from which to pick and choose!

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  • Move – by Caroline Williams

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    • Get 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week, says the American Heart Association
    • There are over 10,000 minutes per week, says the pocket calculator

    Is 150/10,000 really the goal here? Really?

    For Caroline Williams, the answer is no.

    In this book that’s practically a manifesto, she outlines the case that:

    • Humans evolved to move
    • Industrialization and capitalism scuppered that
    • We now spend far too long each day without movement

    Furthermore, for Williams this isn’t just an anthropological observation, it’s a problem to be solved, because:

    • Our lack of movement is crippling us—literally
    • Our stagnation affects not just our bodies, but also our minds
      • (again literally—there’s a direct correlation with mental health)
    • We urgently need to fix this

    So, what now, do we need to move in to the gym and become full-time athletes to clock up enough hours of movement? No.

    Williams convincingly argues the case (using data from supercentenarian “blue zones” around the world) that even non-exertive movement is sufficient. In other words, you don’t have to be running; walking is great. You don’t have to be lifting weights; doing the housework or gardening will suffice.

    From that foundational axiom, she calls on us to find ways to build our life around movement… rather than production-efficiency and/or convenience. She gives plenty of tips for such too!

    Bottom line: some books are “I couldn’t put it down!” books. This one’s more of a “I got the urge to get up and get moving!” book.

    Get your get-up-and-go up and going with “Move”—order yours from Amazon today!

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  • Crispy Tempeh & Warming Mixed Grains In Harissa Dressing

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    Comfort food that packs a nutritional punch! Lots of protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats, and more polyphenols than you can shake a fork at.

    You will need

    • 1 lb cooked mixed whole grains (your choice what kind; gluten-free options include buckwheat, quinoa, millet)
    • 7 oz tempeh, cut into ½” cubes
    • 2 red peppers, cut into strips
    • 10 baby plum tomatoes, halved
    • 1 avocado, pitted, peeled, and diced
    • 1 bulb garlic, paperwork done but cloves left whole
    • 1 oz black olives, pitted and halved
    • 4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
    • 2 tbsp harissa paste
    • 2 tbsp soy sauce (ideally tamari)
    • 1 tbsp nutritional yeast
    • 1 tbsp chia seeds
    • 2 tsp black pepper, coarse ground
    • 1 tsp red chili flakes
    • 1 handful chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
    • ½ tsp MSG or 1 tsp low-sodium salt

    Method

    (we suggest you read everything at least once before doing anything)

    1) Preheat the oven to 400℉ / 200℃.

    2) Combine the red pepper strips with the tomatoes, garlic, 2 tbsp of the olive oil, and the MSG/salt, tossing thoroughly to ensure an even coating. Spread them on a lined baking tray, and roast for about 25 minutes. Remove when done, and allow to cool a little.

    3) Combine the tempeh with the soy sauce and nutritional yeast flakes, tossing thoroughly to ensure an even coating. Spread them on a lined baking tray, and roast for about 25 minutes, tossing regularly to ensure it is crispy on all sides. If you get started on the tempeh as soon as the vegetables are in the oven, these should be ready only a few minutes after the vegetables.

    4) Whisk together the remaining olive oil and harissa paste in a small bowl, to make the dressing,

    5) Mix everything in a big serving bowl. By “everything” we mean the roasted vegetables, the crispy tempeh, the mixed grains, the dressing, the chia seeds, the black pepper, the red chili flakes, and the flat leaf parsley.

    6) Serve warm.

    Enjoy!

    Want to learn more?

    For those interested in some of the science of what we have going on today:

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

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