Better Sex Through Mindfulness – by Dr. Lori Brotto

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Female sexuality is such a taboo topic that, if one searches for (ob/gyn professor, women’s health research director, and psychologist) Dr. Brotto’s book on Google or Amazon, it suggests only “lori brotto mindfulness book”. So, for those brave enough to read a book that would have shocked Victorians, what does this one contain?

The focus is on, as the title suggests, better sex, by and for women. That said, it’s mostly because typically women are more likely to experience the problems described in the book; it’s nothing actually intrinsic to womanhood. A man with the same problems could read this book and benefit just the same.

While the book covers many possible problems between the sheets, the overarching theme is problems of the mind, such as:

  • Not getting into the mood in the first place
  • Losing the mood quickly and easily, such as by becoming distracted
  • Difficulty achieving orgasm even when mechanically everything’s delightful
  • Physical discomfort creating a barrier to enjoyment

…and yes, that last one is in part mind-stuff too! Though Dr. Brotto isn’t arguing that mindfulness is a panacea, just an incredibly useful tool. And, it’s one she not only explains very well, but also explains from the position of a wealth of scientific evidence… Enough so, that we see a one-star Amazon reviewer from Canada complained that it was too well-referenced! For us, though, it’s what we like to see.

Good science, presented clearly and usefully, giving practical tips that improve people’s lives.

Bottom line: if you’ve ever lost the mood because you got distracted into thinking about taxes or that meeting on Tuesday, this is the book for you.

Click here to check out Better Sex Through Mindfulness—you can thank us later!

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  • No-Frills, Evidence-Based Mindfulness

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    What’s on your mind, really?

    We hear a lot about “the evidence-based benefits of mindfulness”, but what actually are they? And what is the evidence? And, perhaps most importantly: how do we do it?

    What are the benefits?

    The benefits of mindfulness are many, and include:

    • reducing stress
    • reducing pain
    • improving quality of life
    • reducing fatigue
    • providing relief from digestive disorders
    • reducing symptoms of sleep disorders
    • improving immune response
    • providing support for caregivers

    The evidence is also abundant, and includes:

    Sounds great… What actually is it, though?

    Mindfulness is the state of being attentive to one’s mind. This is at its heart a meditative practice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be sitting in the lotus position with candles—mindfulness can be built into any daily activity, or even no activity at all.

    An exercise you can try right now:

    Take a moment to notice everything you can hear. For this writer, that includes:

    • The noise of my keystrokes as I type
    • The ticking of the clock on the wall
    • The gentle humming of my computer’s processor
    • The higher-pitched noise of my computer’s monitor
    • Birdsong outside
    • Traffic further away
    • My own breathing
    • The sound of my eyelids as I blink

    Whatever it is for you, notice how much you can notice that you had previously taken for granted.

    You can repeat this exercise with other senses, by the way! For example:

    • Notice five things you can see in your immediate environment that you’ve never noticed before. If you’re at home reading this, you probably think you’re very familiar with everything around you, but now see that mark on the wall you’d never noticed before, or a quirk of some electrical wiring, or the stitching on some furnishing, for example.
    • Notice the textures of your clothes, or your face, or perhaps an object you’ve never paid attention to touching before. Your fingertips, unless you have some special reason this doesn’t apply to you, are far more sensitive than you probably give them credit for, and can notice the tiniest differentiation in textures, so take a moment to do that now.
    • Mindful eating can be an especially healthful practice because it requires that we pay every attention to what we’re putting in our mouth, tasting, chewing, swallowing. No more thoughtlessly downing a box of cookies; every bite is now an experience. On the one hand, you’ll probably eat less at a sitting. On the other hand, what a sensory experience! It really reminds one that life is for living, not just for zipping through at a speed-run pace!

    What about mindfulness as a meditative practice?

    Well, those are meditative practices! But yes, mindfulness goes for more formal meditation too. For example:

    Sit comfortably, with good posture, whatever that means to you. No need to get too caught up in the physical mechanics here—it’d take a whole article. For now, if you’re sitting and comfortable, that’s enough.

    Notice your breathing. No need to try to control it—that’s not what this is about today. Just notice it. The in, the out, whether you breathe to your chest or abdomen, through your nose or mouth, don’t worry about doing it “right”, just notice what you are doing. Observe without judgement.

    Notice your thoughts—no need to try to stop them. Notice noticing your thoughts, and again, observe without judgement. Notice your feelings; are you angry, hopeful, stressed, serene? There are no wrong answers here, and there’s nothing you should try to “correct”. Just observe. No judgement, only observe. Watch your thoughts, and watch your thoughts go.

    Did you forget about your breathing while watching your thoughts? Don’t worry about that either if so, just notice that it happened. If you have any feelings about that, notice them too, and carry on observing.

    We go through so much of our lives in “autopilot”, that it can be an amazing experience to sometimes just “be”—and be aware of being.

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  • Which Plant Milk?

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    Plant-based milks—what’s best?

    You asked us to look at some popular plant milks and their health properties, and we said we’d do a main feature, so here it is!

    We’ll also give a quick nod to environmental considerations at the end too (they might not be quite what you expect!). That said, as a health and productivity newsletter, we’ll be focusing on the health benefits.

    While we can give a broad overview, please note that individual brands may vary, especially in two important ways:

    • Pro: many (most?) brands of plant milks fortify their products with extra vitamins and minerals, especially vitamin D and calcium.
    • Con: some brands also add sugar.

    So, by all means use this guide to learn about the different plants’ properties, and/but still do check labels later.

    Alternatively, consider making your own!

    • Pros: no added sugar + cheaper
    • Cons: no added vitamins and minerals + some equipment required

    Almond milk

    Almond milk is low in carbs and thus good for a carb-controlled diet. It’s also high in vitamin E and a collection of minerals.

    Oat milk

    Oats are one of the healthiest “staple foods” around, and while drinking oat milk doesn’t convey all the benefits, it does a lot. It also has one of the highest soluble fiber contents of any milk, which is good for reducing LDL (bad) cholesterol levels.

    See for example: Consumption of oat milk for 5 weeks lowers serum cholesterol and LDL cholesterol in free-living men with moderate hypercholesterolemia

    Coconut milk

    Coconut has a higher fat content than most plant milks, but also contains medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs). These raise HDL (good) cholesterol levels.

    Read the study: How well do plant based alternatives fare nutritionally compared to cow’s milk?

    Hemp milk

    Being made from hemp seeds that contain a lot of protein and healthy fats (including omega-3 and omega-6), hemp milk packs a nutritious punch. It’s carb-free. It’s also THC-free, in case you were wondering, which means no, it does not have psychoactive effects.

    Pea milk

    It’s very high in protein, and contains an array of vitamins and minerals. It’s not very popular yet, so there isn’t as much research about it. This 2021 study found that it had the nutritional profile the closest to cow’s milk (beating soy by a narrow margin) and praised it as a good alternative for those with a soy allergy.

    This is Research Review Monday so we try to stick to pure science, but for your interest… here’s an interesting pop-science article (ostensibly in affiliation with the pea milk brand, Ripple) about the nutritional qualities of their pea milk specifically, which uses particularly nutrient-dense yellow peas, plus some extra vitamin and mineral fortifications:

    Read: Ripple Milk: 6 Reasons Why You Should Try Pea Milk

    Soy milk

    Perhaps the most popular plant milk, and certainly usually the cheapest in stores. It’s high in protein, similar to cow’s milk. In fact, nutritionally, it’s one of the closest to cow’s milk without involving cows as a middleman. (Did you know three quarters of all soy in the world is grown to feed to livestock, not humans? Now you do).

    And no, gentlemen-readers, it won’t have any feminizing effects. The human body can’t use the plant estrogens in soy for that. It does give some isoflavone benefits though, which are broadly good for everyone’s health. See for example this research review with 439 sources of its own:

    Read: Soy and Health Update: Evaluation of the Clinical and Epidemiologic Literature

    Quick note on flavor: nut milks have the flavor of the nut they were made from. Coconut milk tastes of coconut. The other milks listed above don’t have much of a flavor—which in many cases may be what you want.

    Note on environmental considerations:

    A lot of us try to be as socially responsible as reasonably possible in our choices, so this may be an influencing factor. In a nutshell:

    • Oats and Soy are generally grown as vast monocrops, and these are bad for the environment
      • They are still better for the environment than cow’s milk though, as for example most soy is grown to feed to cows, not humans. So including cows in the process means four times as much monocrop farming, plus adds several other environmental issues that are beyond the scope of this newsletter.
    • Almonds are particularly resource-intensive when it comes to water use.
      • Still nowhere near as much as cows, though.
    • Peas are grown in places that naturally have very high rainfall, so are a good option here. Same generally goes for rice, which didn’t make the cut today. (Nor did hazelnuts, sorry—we can only include so much!)
    • Hemp is by far and away the most environmentally friendly, assuming it is grown in a climate naturally conducive to such.
    • Making plant milk at home is usually most environmentally friendly, depending on where your ingredients came from.
    • Literally any plant milk is much more environmentally friendly than cow’s milk.

    See the science for yourself: Reducing food’s environmental impacts through producers and consumers

    See also (if you like graphs and charts): Environmental footprints of dairy and plant-based milks

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  • Cashews vs Peanuts – Which is Healthier?

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    Our Verdict

    When comparing cashews to peanuts, we picked the peanuts.

    Why?

    Another one for “that which is more expensive is not necessarily the healthier”! Although, certainly both are good:

    In terms of macros, cashews have about 2x the carbs while peanuts have a little more (healthy!) fat and more than 2x the fiber, meaning that peanuts also enjoy the lower glycemic index. All in all, a fair win for peanuts here.

    When it comes to vitamins, cashews have more of vitamins B6 and K, while peanuts have a lot more of vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B7, B9, and E. Another easy win for peanuts.

    In the category of minerals; cashews have more copper, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, and selenium, while peanuts have more calcium, manganese, and potassium. A win for cashews, this time.

    Adding up the sections makes for an overall win for peanuts, but (assuming you are not allergic) enjoy either or both! In fact, enjoying both is best; diversity is good.

    Want to learn more?

    You might like to read:

    Why You Should Diversify Your Nuts!

    Take care!

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Related Posts

  • Exercise with Type 1 Diabetes – by Ginger Vieira
  • Capsaicin For Weight Loss And Against Inflammation

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Capsaicin’s Hot Benefits

    Capsaicin, the compound in hot peppers that makes them spicy, is a chemical irritant and a neurotoxin. However, humans being humans, we decided to eat them for fun.

    In contrast to many other ways in which humans recreationally enjoy things that are objectively poisonous, consuming capsaicin (in moderation) is considered to have health benefits, such as aiding weight loss (by boosting metabolism) and reducing inflammation.

    Let’s see what the science says…

    First: is it safe?

    Capsaicin is classified as “Generally Recognized As Safe”. That said, the same mechanism that causes them to boost metabolism, does increase blood pressure:

    Mechanisms underlying the hypertensive response induced by capsaicin

    If you are in good cardiovascular health, this increase should be slight and not pose any threat, unless for example you enter a chili-eating contest when not acclimated to such:

    Capsaicin and arterial hypertensive crisis

    As ever, if unsure, do check with your doctor first, especially if you are taking any blood pressure medications, or otherwise have known blood pressure issues.

    Does it really boost metabolism?

    It certainly does; it works by increasing oxygen consumption and raising body temperature, both of which mean more calories will be burned for the same amount of work:

    Dietary capsaicin and its anti-obesity potency: from mechanism to clinical implications

    This means, of course, that chili peppers enjoy the status of being functionally a “negative calorie” food, and a top-tier one at that:

    Chili pepper as a body weight-loss food

    Here’s a good quality study that showed a statistically significant* fat loss improvement over placebo:

    Capsaicinoids supplementation decreases percent body fat and fat mass: adjustment using covariates in a post hoc analysis

    *To put it in numbers, the benefit was:

    • 5.91 percentage points lower body fat percentage than placebo
    • 6.68 percentage points greater change in body fat mass than placebo

    See also: Difference between percentages and percentage points

    For those who prefer big reviews than single studies, we’ve got you covered:

    The Effects of Capsaicin and Capsiate on Energy Balance: Critical Review and Meta-analyses of Studies in Humans

    Does it really reduce inflammation?

    Counterintuitive as it may seem, yes. By means of reducing oxidative stress. Given that things that reduce oxidative stress tend to reduce inflammation, and in turn tend to reduce assorted disease risks (from diabetes to cancer to Alzheimer’s), this probably has more knock-on benefits too, but we don’t have room to explore all of those today.

    Fresh peppers are best for this, but dried peppers (such as when purchased as a ground spice in the supermarket, or when purchased as a capsule-based supplement) still have a very respectable anti-inflammatory effect:

    How much should we take?

    It’s recommended to start at a low dose and gradually increase it, but 2–6mg of capsaicin per day is the standard range used in studies.

    If you’re getting this from peppers, then for example cayenne pepper (a good source of capsaicin) contains around 2.5mg of capsaicin per 1 gram of cayenne.

    In the case of capsules, if for example you don’t like eating hot pepper, this will usually mean taking 2–6 capsules per day, depending on dosage.

    Make sure to take it with plenty of water!

    Where can we get it?

    Fresh peppers or ground spice from your local grocery store is fine. Your local health food store probably sells the supplements, too.

    If you’d like to buy it online, here is an example product on Amazon.

    Note: options on Amazon were more limited than usual, so this product is not vegan, and probably not halal or kosher, as the capsule contains an unspecified gelatin.

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  • Health Hacks from 20 Doctors

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    Doctor Mike’s Approach

    You may be used to Tuesday’s expert insights column, where we break down the work or research of a medical expert. Doctor Mike, the creator of the video below, has put us to shame, interviewing 20 experts and condensing it into one, sub 12-minute video.

    In short, Doctor Mike has interviewed medical professionals and asked them to share a unique piece of advice, specific to their field, that’s easy to incorporate into your daily routine. He calls them Health Hacks (hey, that sounds similar to our Life Hacks section).

    We aren’t going to list out all 20—you’ll have to watch the video for that—but here are a few of our favourites

    Toenail Fungus Treatment

    Dr. Dana Brems, a podiatrist, reveals that Vicks VapoRub has antifungal properties, and thus can be used on toenails affected by fungus.

    Water Intake Myth

    Dr. Rena Malik, a urologist, debunks the myth that everyone needs to drink eight glasses of water daily, advising people to drink when thirsty and monitor urine color for hydration.

    (You can see what we’ve written on this subject here, as well as here).

    Natural Lip Plumper

    Dr. Anthony Youn, a plastic surgeon, offers a simple recipe for plumping lips—add a drop or two of food-grade peppermint oil to your lip gloss.

    Toothbrushing Technique:

    Dr. Winters, an orthodontist, explains that brushing teeth at a 45-degree angle towards the gums is more effective than the common side-to-side method. See our thoughts on this here and here.

    Want more tips? Watch them all in the video below:

    How was the video? If you’ve discovered any great videos yourself that you’d like to share with fellow 10almonds readers, then please do email them to us!

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  • Pelvic Floor Exercises (Not Kegels!) To Prevent Urinary Incontinence

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    It’s a common threat, and if you think it couldn’t happen to you, then well, just wait. Happily, Dr. Christine Pieton, PT, DPT, a sport & women’s health physical therapist, has advice:

    On the ball!

    Or rather, we’re going to be doing ball-squeezing here, if you’ll pardon the expression. You will need a soccer-ball sized ball to squeeze.

    Ball-squeeze breathing: lie on your back, ball between your knees, and inhale deeply, expanding your torso. Exhale, pressing your knees into the ball, engaging your abdominal muscles from lower to upper. Try to keep your spine long and avoid your pelvis tucking under during the exhalation.

    Ball-squeeze bridge: lie on your back, ball between your knees, inhale to prepare, and then exhale, pressing up into a bridge, maintaining a firm pressure on the ball. Inhale as you lower yourself back down.

    Ball-squeeze side plank: lie on your side this time, ball between your knees, supporting forearm under your shoulder, as in the video thumbnail. Inhale to prepare, and then exhale, lifting your hip a few inches off the mat. Inhale as you lower yourself back down.

    Ball-squeeze bear plank: get on your hands and knees, ball between your thighs. Lengthen your spine, inhale to prepare, and exhale as you bring your knees just a little off the floor. Inhale as you lower yourself back down.

    For more details and tips on each of these, plus a visual demonstration, plus an optional part 2 video with more exercises that aren’t ball-squeezes this time, enjoy:

    Click Here If The Embedded Video Doesn’t Load Automatically!

    Want to learn more?

    You might also like to read:

    Psst… A Word To The Wise About UTIs

    Take care!

    Don’t Forget…

    Did you arrive here from our newsletter? Don’t forget to return to the email to continue learning!

    Learn to Age Gracefully

    Join the 98k+ American women taking control of their health & aging with our 100% free (and fun!) daily emails: