Willpower: A Muscle To Flex, Or Spoons To Conserve?

We have previously written about motivation; this one’s not about that.

Rather, it’s about willpower itself, and especially, the maintenance of such. Which prompts the question…

Is willpower something that can be built up through practice, or something that is a finite resource that can be expended?

That depends on you—and your experiences.

• Some people believe willpower is a metaphorical “muscle” that must be exercised to be built up
• Some people believe willpower is a matter of metaphorical “spoons” that can be used up

A quick note on spoon theory: this traces its roots to Christine Miserandino’s 2003 essay about chronic illness and the management of limited energy. She details how she explained this to a friend in a practical fashion, she gave her a bunch of spoons from her kitchen, as an arbitrary unit of energy currency. These spoons would then need to be used to “pay” for tasks done; soon her friend realised that if she wanted to make it through the day, she was going to have to give more forethought to how she would “spend” her spoons, or she’d run out and be helpless (and perhaps hungry and far from home) before the day’s end. So, the kind of forethought and planning that a lot of people with chronic illnesses have to give to every day’s activities.

You can read it here: But You Don’t Look Sick? The Spoon Theory

So, why do some people believe one way, and some believe the other? It comes down to our experiences of our own willpower being built or expended. Researchers (Dr. Vanda Siber et al.) studied this, and concluded:

❝The studies support the idea that what people believe about willpower depends, at least in part, on recent experiences with tasks as being energizing or draining.❞

Source: Autonomous Goal Striving Promotes a Nonlimited Theory About Willpower

In other words, there’s a difference between going out running each morning while healthy, and doing so with (for example) lupus.

On a practical level, this translates to practicable advice:

• If something requires willpower but is energizing, this is the muscle kind! Build it.
• If something requires willpower and is draining, this is the spoons kind! Conserve it.

Read the above two bullet-points as many times as necessary to cement them into your hippocampus, because they are the most important message of today’s newsletter.

Do you tend towards the “nonlimited” belief, despite getting tired? If so, here’s why…

There is something that can continue to empower us even when we get physically fatigued, and that’s the extent to which we truly get a choice about what we’re doing. In other words, that “Autonomous” at the front of the title of the previous study, isn’t just word salad.

• If we perceive ourselves as choosing to do what we are doing, with free will and autonomy (i.e., no externally created punitive consequences), we will feel much more empowered, and that goes for our willpower too.
• If we perceive ourselves as doing what we have to (or suffer the consequences), we’ll probably do it, but we’ll find it draining, and that goes for our willpower too.

Until such a time as age-related physical and mental decline truly take us, we as humans tend to gradually accumulate autonomy in our lives. We start as literal babies, then are children with all important decisions made for us, then adolescents building our own identity and ways of doing things, then young adults launching ourselves into the world of adulthood (with mixed results), to a usually more settled middle-age that still has a lot of external stressors and responsibilities, to old age, where we’ve often most things in order, and just ourselves and perhaps our partner to consider.

Consequently…

Age differences in implicit theories about willpower: why older people endorse a nonlimited theory

…which explains why the 30-year-old middle-manager might break down and burn out and stop going to work, while an octogenarian is busy training for a marathon daily before getting back to their daily book-writing session, without fail.

One final thing…

If you need a willpower boost, have a snack*. If you need to willpower boost to avoid snacking, then plan for this in advance by finding a way to keep your blood sugars stable. Because…

The physiology of willpower: linking blood glucose to self-control

*Something that will keep your blood sugars stable, not spike them. Nuts are a great example, unless you’re allergic to such, because they have a nice balance of carbohydrates, protein, and healthy fats.

Want more on that? Read: 10 Ways To Balance Blood Sugars

Behavioral Activation Against Depression & Anxiety

Psychologists do love making fancy new names for things.

You thought you were merely “eating your breakfast”, but now it’s “Happiness-Oriented Basic Behavioral Intervention Therapy (HOBBIT)” or something.

This one’s quite simple, so we’ll keep it short for today, but it is one more tool for your toolbox:

What is Behavioral Activation?

Behavioral Activation is about improving our mood (something we can’t directly choose) by changing our behavior (something we usually can directly choose).

An oversimplified (and insufficient, as we will explain, but we’ll use this one to get us started) example would be “whistle a happy tune and you will be happy”.

Behavioral Activation is not a silver bullet

Or if it is, then it’s the kind you have to keep shooting, because one shot is not enough. However, this becomes easier than you might think, because Behavioral Activation works by…

Creating a Positive Feedback Loop

A lot of internal problems in depression and anxiety are created by the fact that necessary and otherwise desirable activities are being written off by the brain as:

• Pointless (depression)
• Dangerous (anxiety)

The inaction that results from these aversions creates a negative feedback loop as one’s life gradually declines (as does one’s energy, and interest in life), or as the outside world seems more and more unwelcoming/scary.

Instead, Behavioral Activation plans activities (usually with the help of a therapist, as depressed/anxious people are not the most inclined to plan activities) that will be:

• attainable
• rewarding

The first part is important, because the maximum of what is “attainable” to a depressed/anxious person can often be quite a small thing. So, small goals are ideal at first.

The second part is important, because there needs to be some way of jump-starting a healthier dopamine cycle. It also has to feel rewarding during/after doing it, not next year, so short term plans are ideal at first.

So, what behavior should we do?

That depends on you. Behavioral Activation calls for keeping track of our activities (bullet-journaling is fine, and there are apps* that can help you, too) and corresponding moods.

*This writer uses the pragmatic Daylio for its nice statistical analyses of bullet-journaling data-points, and the very cute Finch for more keyword-oriented insights and suggestions. Whatever works for you, works for you, though! It could even be paper and pen.

Sometimes the very thought of an activity fills us with dread, but the actual execution of it brings us relief. Bullet-journaling can track that sort of thing, and inform decisions about “what we should do” going forwards.

Want a ready-made brainstorm to jump-start your creativity?

Here’s list of activities suggested by TherapistAid (a resource hub for therapists)

Want to know more?

You might like:

• How To Use Behavioral Activation (guide for end users)
• Treatment Guide: Behavioral Activation (guide for clinicians)

Take care!