Why Some Friendships Last And Others Don’t

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Friendships matter a lot, playing a significant role in our wellbeing, physical as well as mental. They bring additional meaning to our lives, help us cope with setbacks, and hopefully will be at our side through the highs and lows of life. And yet, for something that’s in principle good for everyone involved, there can be problems:

Friend to the end?

Firstly, some people find it harder to make (and then further deepen) friendships with others, which can be for a whole host of reasons.

Approaching new people can feel intimidating, but it’s a common struggle. Research shows that people often underestimate how much others enjoy their company, a phenomenon known as the “liking gap.” By reminding ourselves that others are likely to appreciate our presence and expecting to be well-received (the “acceptance prophecy”), we can approach social interactions with greater confidence.

As relationships grow, they often deepen through companionship and closeness:

  • Companionship arises from shared hobbies, interests, or values, and it builds rapport.
  • Closeness involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which can build intimacy together.

An important key to these is consistency, which—whether through regular chats, honoring plans, or showing support—helps strengthen bonds, even in long-distance friendships (something often considered a barrier to closeness).

Even the strongest friendships can face challenges, of course. Conflicts may arise from a lack of support during difficult moments, or worse, betrayal. Or it could all be a misunderstanding. These situations are best addressed through honest, non-judgmental conversations. Avoiding defensiveness or accusations, and instead focusing on sharing feelings and understanding the other person’s perspective, can turn these tough discussions into opportunities for growth and stronger connections.

For more on all of this, enjoy:

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Want to learn more?

You might also like to read:

How To Beat Loneliness & Isolation

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  • Pomegranate vs Cranberries – Which is Healthier?

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Our Verdict

    When comparing pomegranate to cranberries, we picked the pomegranate.

    Why?

    Starting with the macros: pomegranate has nearly 4x the protein (actually quite a lot for a fruit, but this is not too surprising—it’s because we are eating the seeds!), and slightly more carbs and fiber. Their glycemic indices are comparable, both being low GI foods. While both of these fruits have excellent macro profiles, we say the pomegranate is slightly better, because of the protein, and when it comes to the carbs and fiber, since they balance each other out, we’ll go with the option that’s more nutritionally dense. We like foods that add more nutrients!

    In the category of vitamins, pomegranate is higher in vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B9, K, and choline, while cranberry is higher in vitamins A, C, and E. Both are very respectable profiles, but pomegranate wins on strength of numbers (and also some higher margins of difference).

    When it comes to minerals, it is not close; pomegranate is higher in calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, and zinc, while cranberry is higher in manganese. An easy win for pomegranate here.

    Both of these fruits have additional “special” properties, though it’s worth noting that:

    • pomegranate’s bonus properties, which are too many to list here, but we link to an article below, are mostly in its peel (so dry it, and grind it into a powder supplement, that can be worked into foods, or used like an instant fruit tea, just without the sugar)
    • cranberries’ bonus properties (including: famously very good at reducing UTI risk) come with some warnings, including that they may increase the risk of kidney stones if you are prone to such, and also that cranberries have anti-clotting effects, which are great for heart health but can be a risk of you’re on blood thinners or have a bleeding disorder.

    You can read about both of these fruits’ special properties in more detail below:

    Want to learn more?

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    Take care!

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  • The Inflammation Spectrum – by Dr. Will Cole

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    We’ve previously reviewed Dr. Cole’s other book “Gut Feelings”, and now he’s back, this time to tackle inflammation.

    The focus here is on understanding what things trigger inflammation in your body—personally yours, not someone else’s—by something close to the usual elimination process yes, but he offers a way of sliding into it gently instead of simply quitting all the things and gradually adding everything back in.

    The next step he takes the reader through is eating not just to avoid triggering inflammation, but to actively combat it. From there, it should be possible for the reader to build an anti-inflammatory cookbook, that’s not only one’s own personal repertoire of cooking, but also specifically tailored to one’s own personal responses to different ingredients.

    The style of this book is very pop-science, helpful, walking-the-reader-by-the-hand through the processes involved. Dr. Cole wants to make everything as easy as possible.

    Bottom line: if your diet could use an anti-inflammatory revamp, this is a top-tier guidebook for doing just that.

    Click here to check out The Inflammation Spectrum, find your food triggers and reset your system!

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  • Radiant Rebellion – by Karen Walrond

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    In health terms, we are often about fighting aging here. But to be more specific, what we’re fighting in those cases is not truly aging itself, so much as age-related decline.

    Karen Walrond makes a case that we’ve made from the very start of 10almonds (but she wrote a whole book about it), that there’s merit in looking at what we can and can’t control about aging, doing what we reasonably can, and embracing what we can’t.

    And yes, embracing, not merely accepting. This is not a downer of a book; it’s a call to revolution. It asks us to be proud of our grey hairs, to see our smile-lines around our eyes as the sign of a lived-in body, and even to embrace some of the unavoidable “actual decline” things as part of the journey of life. Maybe we’re not as strong as we used to be and now need a grippety-doodah to open jars; not everyone gets to live long enough to experience that! How lucky we are.

    Perhaps most importantly, she bids us be the change we want to see in the world, and inspire others with our choices and actions, and shake off ageist biases for good.

    Bottom line: if you want to foster a better attitude to aging not only for yourself, but also those around you, then this is a top-tier book for that.

    Click here to check out Radiant Rebellion, and reclaim aging!

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  • Retrain Your Brain – by Dr. Seth Gillihan

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    15-Minute Arabic”, “Sharpen Your Chess Tactics in 24 Hours”, “Change Your Life in 7 Days”, “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 weeks”—all real books from this reviewer’s shelves.

    The thing with books with these sorts of time periods in the titles is that the time period in the title often bears little relation to how long it takes to get through the book. So what’s the case here?

    You’ll probably get through it in more like 7 days, but the pacing is more important than the pace. By that we mean:

    Dr. Gillihan starts by assuming the reader is at best “in a rut”, and needs to first pick a direction to head in (the first “week”) and then start getting one’s life on track (the second “week”).

    He then gives us, one by one, an array of tools and power-ups to do increasingly better. These tools aren’t just CBT, though of course that features prominently. There’s also mindfulness exercises, and holistic / somatic therapy too, for a real “bringing it all together” feel.

    And that’s where this book excels—at no point is the reader left adrift with potential stumbling-blocks left unexamined. It’s a “whole course”.

    Bottom line: whether it takes you 7 hours or 7 months, “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks” is a CBT-and-more course for people who like courses to work through. It’ll get you where you’re going… Wherever you want that to be for you!

    Click here to check out “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks” on Amazon and start learning today!

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  • 8 Signs On Your Breast You Shouldn’t Ignore

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Can you name the 8 signs that may indicate breast cancer? This video discusses them, and also shows what they look like on various different skintones:

    Stay abreast:

    Dr Simi Adedeji bids us watch out for:

    1. Inverted nipple: a newly inverted nipple (pointing inward or folded) should be checked by a doctor, especially if it’s a recent change.
    2. Flaky rash: a flaky, itchy, or red rash around the nipple or areola could indicate an underlying issue and should not be dismissed as just a skin condition.
    3. Tethering: skin pulling or denting, noticeable when raising your arms, may signal a deeper problem.
    4. Dimpling: skin resembling an orange peel (po orang sign) with dips and accentuated pores could indicate swelling or thickening and requires medical evaluation.
    5. Redness or heat: unusual warmth, redness, or tenderness in the breast, particularly if not breastfeeding, should be investigated.
    6. Nipple discharge: any unusual fluid from the nipple (be it yellow, green, milky, clear, or blood-stained) warrants attention, especially if spontaneous or only from one side.
    7. Change in size: sudden changes in the size or shape of one breast should not be ignored.
    8. Breast lump: a firm, irregular, or persistent lump in the breast, armpit, or collarbone area should be checked promptly, even if it’s not always harmful.

    The above signs may indicate cancer or something else, but none of them are things that should be ignored (even if you get just one sign).

    For more on each of these, plus visual demonstrations, enjoy:

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    Don’t Forget…

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  • Eat to Beat Disease – by Dr. William Li

    10almonds is reader-supported. We may, at no cost to you, receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

    Dr. William Li asks the important question: is your diet feeding disease, or defeating it?

    Because everything we put in our bodies makes our health just a little better—or just a little worse. Ok, sometimes a lot worse.

    But for most people, when it comes to diet, it’s a death of a thousand cuts of unhealthy food. And that’s what he looks to fix with this book.

    The good news: Dr. Li (while not advocating for unhealthy eating, of course), focuses less on what to restrict, and more on what to include. This book covers hundreds of such healthy foods, and ideas (practical, useful ones!) on incorporating them daily, including dozens of recipes.

    He mainly looks at five ways our food can help us with…

    1. Angiogenesis (blood vessel replacement)
    2. Regeneration (of various bodily organs and systems)
    3. Microbiome health (and all of its knock-on effects)
    4. DNA protection (and thus slower cellular aging)
    5. Immunity (defending the body while also reducing autoimmune problems)

    The style is simple and explanatory; Dr. Li is a great educator. Reading this isn’t a difficult read, but you’ll come out of it feeling like you just did a short course in health science.

    Bottom line: if you’d like an easy way to improve your health in an ongoing and sustainable way, then this book can help you do just that.

    Click here to check out Eat To Beat Disease, and eat to beat disease!

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